Re: just venting - back to Michele

[Guest guest]

Hi Michele,If it makes you feel any better, your MIL sounds just like my mother. I can't do anything right and she doesn't hesitate to let me know that. She constantly, and I mean constantly, ridicules me, compares me to my brother (who in her eyes is perfect), and complains what a bother I am because of my health conditions. Just last week when I didn't agree with her about a news story on TV, I'm now a Communist!! No joke, just ask her. I recently moved to IL from Texas because of my decreasing health conditions and needing to be around family who can help me get to appts, etc. I've only been here a month and the cold up here has me in so much pain (arthritis) that I'm not getting out much. I have yet to get established with all the doctors I need... one being a psychiatrist....... and I'm sure when I find one he'll tell me to stay as far away from her as I can because she is doing absolutely nothing for my

self-esteem, lol, what is that? I have none thanks to her. Take Care, boulderpatch <boulderpatch@...> wrote: i apologize but i just need to vent and have no where else to turn. maybe my migraine will finally go away after this. i am glad that the holidays are over since they are extremely stressful for me. my mother-in-law was at our house for thanksgiving and christmas. she brings her 80-something year old lady friend with her who is always nice to have around. but the m-in-law is a

problem. please don't get me wrong, i am not the type of wife who dictates what my husband can and cannot do but his mother is a problem when she visits. i would do anything i could for her except let her live with us, which my husband agrees on. my parents are part of the problem and i do not know what else to do about things. my father is difficult on the best of days but the holidays make him even worse since he gets depressed and we never know how bad it will get. my father's moods are nothing new to me and after 13 years of marriage, my husband has a very good understanding of things. but since we bought my parents house last january, things have been more difficult with the m-in-law coming over. before, my parents could leave whenever they wanted to since they lived 6 miles from us. now that they are across the backporch, there really isn't anywhere to hide unless you go

out in the woods, if the weather is decent. at thanksgiving, my m-in-law thanked my father for attending dinner which set him off since he feels that she is trying to take over now that we own the house. i understand what he is saying since it used to be his house and his table but he has to get over these things. we have a very liberal set up where we share everything so there isn't any friction here but she rubs him the wrong way. another thing that annoys my parents is that she over stays her welcome which makes things worse for me since they ask me when is she leaving. i am not going to come right out and ask her that since that is rude. but i am in the middle no matter what. christmas was about the same except that my father kept saying that he was eating at his place instead of with the rest of us but finally decided to eat with us. i tried to place my m-in-law across from my

mother so that way my father didn't have to sit across from her, which also annoys him. but of course she got her own way and sat across from him. i spent dinner between them, waiting for something to go flying over my plate. thankfully, no one threw anything at the other. my real problem right now is that i am tired of being in the middle. i am in the middle between my parents and my m-in-law, my parents and my husband, my parents and the world, etc. i find it very hard to always be in the middle. i have to hear about what the other did or did not do, who isn't feeling well, who needs this or that. i have my own health issues and am concerned that i will land up institutionalized if this continues. i have a lot of stress at work and then have to come home to this petty garbage every night. there are nights when i have to remind myself to come home since the rabbit will be worried if

i don't come home. the rabbit is the only reason that i do come home sometimes. no one listens to what i say or they argue with me (my mother will even argue over the weather forecast with me). no one does what i ask them to do or what they say they will do. i am responsible for everything and everybody. i have no where to go to get away from it. i don't remember what it is like to relax and enjoy something. i don't remember what it is like to have hobbies. i don't remember what it is like to want to come home or go to work. i don't remember what it is like to have a life of my own. buying their house was supposed to make life easier. sure, it is easier now that i don't have to houses and 2 yards to take care, now that i don't have to driveways to shovel after every storm. i want to have a life before it is too late but how? thanks for letting me vent. it helps a lot.

michelle Take Care, B. in ILLINOIS

[Guest guest]

thanks for the kind words and understanding. your mother sounds like both of my parents and mil combined. she also reminds me of my grandmother (father's mother) who made it a point of buttheading her way, along with my younger sister, into everything that we did. she would make a point of pushing me off to the side since my asthma was so bad and i couldn't keep up with the hiking etc that was part of life here. my parents knew it was happening but rarely did anything about it. i wasn't needed then but who is here to take care of them now. me. where's my precious sister? she doesn't care what happens here anymore. my aunt once told me to forgive but never forget. she told this to her father on his death bed after feuding with him for over 50 years. i have forgiven them but i will never forget. i will do the best that i can for my

parents but i won't forget how they forgot me. maybe that's why i am here to take care of them, to change the past. thanks again for letting me vent. let me know if you need to vent sometime. me

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