creative forms of discipline

[Guest guest]

Hi , and for Alice, etc....

I wanted to comment on your two examples.

The first one about emptying the bedroom of all possessions is

actually a good one. BUT, before anyone does this, they need to take

a few precautions. First off, put a (key?) lock on adults and

siblings bedroom doors. This is to prevent the offender from entering

these areas without permission. In these rooms, you can store items

that will eventually be returned to the offender as rewards. Removal

of cable from television, telephone cords, etc, belong behind the

locked doors. Some families have locked the kitchen cupboards as

well, to deter the offender from taking food without permission -

sounds like a prison, eh??! Installing locks on doors is not

expensive, its just a matter of changing the door knobs and anyone

can do this! Remember it is against the law to lock someone IN a

room!!

To begin with, there are several approaches. You want support,

having a partner in the home helps, but is not necessary. What you

need is to arrange with a friend to call and vent your frustrations,

and also have this friend available to help with communication

between you two. They can also help with removing the heavy stuff!!!

Some families remove everything in the room except the mattress,

sheets, blankets. No curtains, pillows, toys, clothes, lights, etc.

At the end of specific time periods, say every half day, the offender

can earn back an item based on behaviour. If they are obnoxious,

steal, are uncooperative, etc. they loose the turn to regain a

possession. Say, pajamas at bed time, or clean clothes in the

morning, curtains, or a book to read. This of course can be adapted

to every situation and family. If the offender has a favourite

'cuddly' I would not remove it, IMHO!!!

The second example, of mom having a worse fit than the kid is

classic paradoxical stuff!! My recommendation to families is to do

the unexpected! Behave in a way that is totally distracting and

breaks the tension. , I think, suggested video taping and

watching later - these are also very funny - and if everyone plays

along, the kids can tape the parents too!

Take care all, wendy in canada

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What one of my friends did YEARS ago with their " problem " daughter

actually worked; they had tried practically all sorts of things for

months and months and the mom finally got fed up. She went to her

daughter's room and took EVERYTHING except the furniture out - all

the toys, books, etc. She even took out the lightbulbs!! She told

her daughter that by law, all she had to provide for her was food,

shelter and clothing and education; that she did NOT have to provide

anything else. And she packed up some things; and I think actually

threw away some books/toys/dolls, etc. Her daughter threw a FIT but

the mom stuck to it. Told her daughter she was tired of her

behaviors, they'd tried everything, etc....

I don't actually remember how long this went on. The mom didn't

immediately put anything back. I think the daughter had to EARN

things back. Anyway, it actually worked. She straightened up at

school and home. This is something I, myself, don't have the NERVE

to try. Maybe if there's a dad in the home (2 adults, not just

" mom " ) it would be easier to do.

Another mom I knew, when her daughter first began throwing " fits " she

was always like " Let me show you the right way to throw a fit " or " to

do this " and began acting just like the daughter, only a little

worse. The daughter finally got tired of this and improved some.

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