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Subject: And you thought SPANISH was hard!!!

Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) the dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to

present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Lets face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant

nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English

muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats

are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take

English for granted. But if we explore it's paradoxes, we find that quicksand

can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from

Guinea

nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce

and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural

of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2

indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you

have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do

you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats

vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an

asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people: recite at a

play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have

noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and

a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house

can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out

and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the

creativity of the human race, which of course, is not a race at all. That

is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights

are out they are invisible.

P.S. Why doesn't " buick " rhyme with " quick " ?