To Grace-LONG & off topic

[Guest guest]

Dear Grace,

Thank you for your support and kind words. I am so sorry about your

brother. We have a lot in common. My middle name is Grace; I find it rare when

someone has this name. My brother is also a mess, not in prison, but very

easily could be or homeless.

My brother is 2 years my senior, and he is diagnosed bi-polar (in his early

20's). He became violent at 13. So when my son started it was like dejavu. He

has had about 40 jobs in the last 20 years and he has a degree from Wharton @ U

of P. He always stops his meds with one excuse or another. Sometimes it is so

he can have 'a few drinks'. His life is a mess, has assaulted many women, and

has had charges brought, but they woman doesn't follow through.

I agree with you that your brother was self medicating with his drug use. I

have studied mental illness and drug use for a long time--no one gets addicted

to drugs because they want too, knowing what the consequences/penalties are. It

usually starts off as self medicating, and then it takes off. My heart breaks

for your brother-he is ill, not criminal. I l live in fear that this could

happen to Mike. I have said since the violence started that I don't want to see

him in juvenile detention because of behavior that is really illness driven. I

understand about insurance running out, then money. That is why I went back to

work per diem last year, our money was gone, and insurance doesn't always let

you see the doc that is best, or most qualified. But $$$$ will.

Our whole health system is messed up and I am in health care, working with

indigent patients. I have a friend who is bi-polar, started drinking this

spring when he couldn't go to work (because of illness) then couldn't afford his

meds. Alcohol became his med. He has legal charges, etc. After detox, rehab,

I got him in the hospital where he was started on meds and stabilized (he will

never stay sober unless his mental illness is treated). He was discharged to a

partial care program, they helped him get Medicaid, and he is worse now than

before. The doc at his program immediately changed his meds, and he hasn't been

okay for months. Can't see doc that was treating him in the hosp. as he doesn't

take Medicaid in his outpatient practice. There are very few psychs that do.

So we begin this vicious cycle of messed up meds, on Medicaid, can't work

because meds messed up, can't get private insurance because he can't work, can't

see a " good " psych cause he doesn't have private insurance or $$$$$$$. I wish I

had the money to give him to see a private doc. (he had been a working

productive member of society).

My heart goes out to you Grace. What a nightmare for your brother.

(and your family). In the legal system it seems you lose all your rights-even

the right to adequate health care. I know that I often have patients from the

county jail (women-I do OB-GYN) and they, jail, will not follow our

recommendations for the treatment of these patients. Ex: If a heroin addict is

arrested and sent to jail, (pregnant), they will not let her be on methadone

(which is safest for mom and baby). Instead they let them withdraw--a torture

for the mom, and the risk of death for the baby. I have fought so much with the

jail, even with my medical director fighting with me, even going to the

warden...we have never been successful. Rarely, (jail's doc doesn't see the

need for it) if we can get the patient admitted, our docs withdraw them

humanely, as we know that when they go back to jail, they can't have methadone

either.

I am not sure why no one has looked at the population of jails and seen how

many criminals commit crimes, because of untreated underlying mental illness.

When they are imprisoned they only get worse (disease progresses without

treatment). Why doesn't someone figure out we need a combo psych-jail. Then

the person will get treatment (including meds) and serve their sentence. This

way when they get out they have half of chance to stay out and become a

productive human in society. I know some are not ill in prison, and some don't

want help-fine-I say then treat these people like criminals. UGH!!!!

I will keep working my bum off to get Mike the right treatment, even if I

pay for it myself. Prayers and hugs to you. in NJ

Re: Mike's Crash and ocd increases

,

I sure do sympathize too, my brother has never been definitively

diagnosed (I clearly see OCD looking back, p-docs said bi-polar

and /or panic, and/or social phobia) but he has had several crashes

since reaching adulthood. He also got into illicit drug use. He has

never been violent, but has threatened police. He was always a sweet

and intelligent boy, just a year my junior, and still a charming kid

when older. It was the anguish of undiagnosed fears and anxieties,

inabilty to work or finish school, attempting to be on his own, etc

that lead to alcohol and later illegal drug use, I think. He was on

xanax for a time and had bad side effects and then horrible

withdrawal. My parent's insurance ran out for helping him, and money

ran out with paying lawyers fees to keep him out of jail at times. He

was brought home, treated, changed meds, relapsed, broke house rules,

and left home many times and ended up in county hospitals and

temporary rehab programs where they changed his meds

indiscriminately, or took them away all together. Now he is in his

second prison term after relapsing into illegal drug use, and again

he is without meds as they decide where to put him (rehab does not

permit the med he uses, the infirmary can only keep him a limited

time, the prison system cannot let him use prescription meds that are

often traded illegally behind bars). No one in the prison system

really cares about or understands mentally ill patients, or how

severe med withdrawal can be, or how wrong it is to change or

withdraw meds etc without doctor's supervison. When they move him he

can be in chains on bus transport for several days with no treatment,

no medication. My parents cannot get to the right persons to help him

without hours spent making calls and mailing letters and visiting 10

hours away in person. At times they cannot hear from him for days and

he has sometimes been on suicude watches with no bed, no clothing and

no excercize, just because he tells someone he cannot function

without meds. I believe so much of this (including self medicating

with illegal drugs)could have been prevented with proper treatment

and diagnosis, but my brother is 37 and treatments and diagnoses were

very unclear only just as recently as my childhood. I wonder how many

persons in prison should not be there because they are mentally ill.

My heart goes out to you with your son and I am so glad to know you

do all you can to keep him safe.

Grace

@y..., xslav@a... wrote:

> Oh ,

> I'm so sorry about the recent turn of events. I can't even

imagine

> what you have been going through.

> I wish I had some helpful advice - mostly I'm confused.

How can he

> be hospitalized at a place where they can't treat his OCD? Does he

have a

> psychiatrist that he sees? I understand that his therapist is on

maternity

> leave, but that shouldn't leave you trying to set up his treatment,

should

> it??It just seems insane (and scary) to have him hospitalized

somewhere and

> not be able to get the right treatment. I obviously haven't dealt

with

> hospitalizations, so maybe I'm really naive.

> I know someone on this list will have all kinds of helpful

advice.

> Mostly I have sympathy and lots of hugs flying your direction. Take

care of

> yourself!

>

>

>

>