Guest guest Posted April 17, 2002 Report Share Posted April 17, 2002 Kathy, that's a normal worry about being a burden to another because of your health. Don't let that stop you though! There are plenty of kind, understanding guys out there, many of whom are hesitant, too, because they have problems of their own. Hope you can find a good friend soon. Re: [ ] Elly > hi elly. i understand how you feel as i have been a widow for 9 1/2 years. i > too miss the companionship and it seems weekends are the hardest for me. my > son is 18 now. senior in h.s. working, and a life of his own. so i have been > spending alot of time alone. most of my friends are married or signifacant > others. i have found a couple phone lines that i have a dating ad on and i > get responses. but i am also not feeling well most days and i really don't > feel i should burden anyone with my disease and problems. it makes it very > hard for me. kathy in il Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2002 Report Share Posted April 17, 2002 thanks gina, it's hard to meet people when you are at home most of tfhe time. now i am unable to, but i wish i would have before i got here. who knows when it's right it'll happen. kathy inil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2002 Report Share Posted April 17, 2002 thanks, i have a couple guys that still call me. it is just so hard for me to plan a date. i usually run a fever between 3 and 7 each day. after that i'm pretty exhausted and usually end up in bed by 9pm. up at 11:30,1:30,4:30 then about 5:30 i get up with my son for school. plus i figure if work is gonna watch me it'll be now and i don't want to be out having fun after suffering all this time. kathy in il Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2002 Report Share Posted April 17, 2002 Said: " Kathy, that's a normal worry about being a burden to another because of your health. Don't let that stop you though! There are plenty of kind, understanding guys out there, many of whom are hesitant, too, because they have problems of their own. Hope you can find a good friend soon. " I can second that statement. I met my current husband over the internet. It didn't bother him at all about my RA. He was more concerned that I would drop him when he told me about his prior heart attack. P linda@... " For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus " Philippians 1:6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 19, 2002 Report Share Posted April 19, 2002 well here i am with another chapter!!! i am on my way to counseling this morning and i thought geez, i'd better call in to work. so i called my boss (??) and she said she rec'd my appeal letters yesterday and had know h/r rec'd too. she tried to transfer me but she got her voice mail. i said see, she does not want to talk to me. when i get home from my appt. there is a message on my phone from the head of h/r and he had someone else on the line. hope you're having a nice day, call me back. so i did thinking they had already gone for the day 1/2 day fridays. but at 12:01 i got the call. he said we usually don't like to do this by e-mail or phone. you have been out on disability. as you may or may not been aware your job has been eliminated as of feb 1, 2002. however we could not tell you during a disability.. we noticed you have sent in a premium on your medical benefits for april. even though you were not a eligible employee, we will accept the benefit as employee status through the end of april.you can opt for the cobra insurance but it is quite substancial. we will be sending you out the severence packet which includes a 7 week full pay check of $3500, and info on cobra coverage. i said i guess my disability appeal doesn't mean anything then? he said it is a total seperate entity and would be considered. (sure!!) i asked him why the benefits person called me in march screaming at me why i couldn't do my sit down job, saying there was nothing in the records i said to her i don't know what job i would be doing. she screached the job you were doing wwhen you left!!! he said he would check into that.he said he would mail the pkg pout on monday. i have either 180 days ii think to cash this check. i have an appt with an atty on monday. i think this is a really sad way to treat an disabled employee, gee remember when they treated you like a family member?? to think i was being loyal trying to file an appeal on my own. why did they continue to pay my disability for 2 extra months if i wasn't an employee?? i realize i may not win, but i have to try to save my livelyhood!! for ltd i should be eligible for benefits until i'm 62. my son should have medical benefits until he is 25 as long as he is a student. this has made me so sick to my stomach. i have a headache. how will i survive? someone said unemployment. i was wondering how i can activly look for work if i am disabled? i know fake like everyone else, but it sure doesn't seem right. my head is spinning. kathy in il Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 19, 2002 Report Share Posted April 19, 2002 Hi Kathy, What an awful situation to be in! Stress is the last thing needed with our kinds of autoimmune illnesses. I am personally of the opinion that the ADA offers little to no protection for people with chronic auto-immune illnesses. It is distressing and worrisome to me. In any event, I hope your lawyer can help you out! I was laid off last year, but so were about 2100 other people in my company. I know that my illness and reduced working hours had something to do with it, but I didn't think there was anything I could do. Good luck and best wishes with this! -Meghan > well here i am with another chapter!!! i am on my way to counseling this > morning and i thought geez, i'd better call in to work. so i called my boss > (??) and she said she rec'd my appeal letters yesterday and had know h/r > rec'd too. she tried to transfer me but she got her voice mail. i said see, > she does not want to talk to me. when i get home from my appt. there is a > message on my phone from the head of h/r and he had someone else on the line. > hope you're having a nice day, call me back. so i did thinking they had > already gone for the day 1/2 day fridays. but at 12:01 i got the call. he > said we usually don't like to do this by e-mail or phone. you have been out > on disability. as you may or may not been aware your job has been eliminated > as of feb 1, 2002. however we could not tell you during a disability.. we > noticed you have sent in a premium on your medical benefits for april. even > though you were not a eligible employee, we will accept the benefit as > employee status through the end of april.you can opt for the cobra insurance > but it is quite substancial. we will be sending you out the severence packet > which includes a 7 week full pay check of $3500, and info on cobra coverage. > i said i guess my disability appeal doesn't mean anything then? he said it is > a total seperate entity and would be considered. (sure!!) i asked him why the > benefits person called me in march screaming at me why i couldn't do my sit > down job, saying there was nothing in the records i said to her i don't know > what job i would be doing. she screached the job you were doing wwhen you > left!!! he said he would check into that.he said he would mail the pkg pout > on monday. i have either 180 days ii think to cash this check. i have an > appt with an atty on monday. i think this is a really sad way to treat an > disabled employee, gee remember when they treated you like a family member?? > to think i was being loyal trying to file an appeal on my own. why did they > continue to pay my disability for 2 extra months if i wasn't an employee?? i > realize i may not win, but i have to try to save my livelyhood!! for ltd i > should be eligible for benefits until i'm 62. my son should have medical > benefits until he is 25 as long as he is a student. this has made me so sick > to my stomach. i have a headache. how will i survive? someone said > unemployment. i was wondering how i can activly look for work if i am > disabled? i know fake like everyone else, but it sure doesn't seem right. my > head is spinning. kathy in il Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 19, 2002 Report Share Posted April 19, 2002 hi lynn and thanks. i had the same problem with my hands they sent me to a rheumatologist because they were saying it was rheumatoid. but they paid under w/c because my whole team came down with carpal tunnel. i was the only one bilateral. so they bounced me around for 8 mos. before i got to have surgery. then i settled without an atty. i called one and he said the figures were pretty much there. he might be able to get me a couple k more, but i'd end up giving it to him. so i settled by myself and the judge awarded me about 750 more!!! she told me merry x-mas. now my dr says the spondylarthropy was the cause of the carpal tunnel. but this is not my fault. i never tried to get something i did not feel i deserve. kathy in il. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 19, 2002 Report Share Posted April 19, 2002 hi sam an thanks for you kind words and support. we do have some services here although i am just not sure which way to go yet. i hope the atty on monday can spiral me in the right direction. i thought this prescription drug assistance handbook was a big project in it's self. now to have to deal with everything at once and try to balance the checkbook. i am all alone here. my parents help me, they have paid my car pymt for the past year. and i have unlimited internet access, plus a gasoline card. they send $ when they can. i have a older sister that live about 45 minutes away. she was going to stop over early in the week to help me set up my new (to me) computer. well it's friday and i haven't heard. but i know she is busy too and my mom said she has bought a new car this week. lot's of things to do then. sorry to babble so much. kathy in il Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 19, 2002 Report Share Posted April 19, 2002 thanks for you support carol. i think i need all the hugs and prayers. i went and laid down with my puppy for awhile. she was so warm and snuggly.i told my counselor today that i felt like i was just sitting here waiting for my world to collapse. i wouldn't have complained if i knew i was in the express lane!!!! lol kathy in il Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 19, 2002 Report Share Posted April 19, 2002 <<as you may or may not been aware your job has been eliminated as of feb 1, 2002. however we could not tell you during a disability..>> Kathy, I'm so sorry to hear this. What a difficult situation. I don't know the answer to how you can actively look for work when you're disabled, but my guess is that you can't. I would say you do have to try to save your livelihood, and keep up with the claim for disability. I just want you to know how sad I am to hear about your continued trials with this, and that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Big Hug, Carol in FL Re: [ ] Kathy in IL well here i am with another chapter!!! i am on my way to counseling this morning and i thought geez, i'd better call in to work. so i called my boss (??) and she said she rec'd my appeal letters yesterday and had know h/r rec'd too. she tried to transfer me but she got her voice mail. i said see, she does not want to talk to me. when i get home from my appt. there is a message on my phone from the head of h/r and he had someone else on the line. hope you're having a nice day, call me back. so i did thinking they had already gone for the day 1/2 day fridays. but at 12:01 i got the call. he said we usually don't like to do this by e-mail or phone. you have been out on disability. as you may or may not been aware your job has been eliminated as of feb 1, 2002. however we could not tell you during a disability.. we noticed you have sent in a premium on your medical benefits for april. even though you were not a eligible employee, we will accept the benefit as employee status through the end of april.you can opt for the cobra insurance but it is quite substancial. we will be sending you out the severence packet which includes a 7 week full pay check of $3500, and info on cobra coverage. i said i guess my disability appeal doesn't mean anything then? he said it is a total seperate entity and would be considered. (sure!!) i asked him why the benefits person called me in march screaming at me why i couldn't do my sit down job, saying there was nothing in the records i said to her i don't know what job i would be doing. she screached the job you were doing wwhen you left!!! he said he would check into that.he said he would mail the pkg pout on monday. i have either 180 days ii think to cash this check. i have an appt with an atty on monday. i think this is a really sad way to treat an disabled employee, gee remember when they treated you like a family member?? to think i was being loyal trying to file an appeal on my own. why did they continue to pay my disability for 2 extra months if i wasn't an employee?? i realize i may not win, but i have to try to save my livelyhood!! for ltd i should be eligible for benefits until i'm 62. my son should have medical benefits until he is 25 as long as he is a student. this has made me so sick to my stomach. i have a headache. how will i survive? someone said unemployment. i was wondering how i can activly look for work if i am disabled? i know fake like everyone else, but it sure doesn't seem right. my head is spinning. kathy in il Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 20, 2002 Report Share Posted April 20, 2002 Hi Carol… reading your email reminded me of my own fight about ten years ago…sometimes there is a principle that one just has to say THIS IS WRONG and needs to be righted…. no one knows the outcome of your fight but I sure am behind you in any way that I can support you… there is a difference in canadian labour law versus the American labour laws…so my legal information would be limited… I do know that resultingly the university where I worked ended up having to put in a human rights office and officer…. it takes a toll emotionally but if there is a wrong here I hope you have the courage and temerity to fight… I am here in the group or private if you need to lean or cry or laugh or whatever… that is a horrendous situation…there is no doubt of that….sometimes I wonder what happens to these people that perpetrate these crimes of inhumanity…sometimes as time passes I find out their comeuppance…I truly believe that all those who do not do good pay in some way in the long run…. what is life about if not being kind to human beings… do you not have a labour board that can give you some information other than out of pocket lawyering…or support groups in your home town….i know here we have a group that fights for you in regards to unemployment and files appeals on your behalf.. is there any support locally? Wishing you good things in legal issues and health Sincerely Sam Re: [ ] Kathy in IL well here i am with another chapter!!! i am on my way to counseling this morning and i thought geez, i'd better call in to work. so i called my boss (??) and she said she rec'd my appeal letters yesterday and had know h/r rec'd too. she tried to transfer me but she got her voice mail. i said see, she does not want to talk to me. when i get home from my appt. there is a message on my phone from the head of h/r and he had someone else on the line. hope you're having a nice day, call me back. so i did thinking they had already gone for the day 1/2 day fridays. but at 12:01 i got the call. he said we usually don't like to do this by e-mail or phone. you have been out on disability. as you may or may not been aware your job has been eliminated as of feb 1, 2002. however we could not tell you during a disability.. we noticed you have sent in a premium on your medical benefits for april. even though you were not a eligible employee, we will accept the benefit as employee status through the end of april.you can opt for the cobra insurance but it is quite substancial. we will be sending you out the severence packet which includes a 7 week full pay check of $3500, and info on cobra coverage. i said i guess my disability appeal doesn't mean anything then? he said it is a total seperate entity and would be considered. (sure!!) i asked him why the benefits person called me in march screaming at me why i couldn't do my sit down job, saying there was nothing in the records i said to her i don't know what job i would be doing. she screached the job you were doing wwhen you left!!! he said he would check into that.he said he would mail the pkg pout on monday. i have either 180 days ii think to cash this check. i have an appt with an atty on monday. i think this is a really sad way to treat an disabled employee, gee remember when they treated you like a family member?? to think i was being loyal trying to file an appeal on my own. why did they continue to pay my disability for 2 extra months if i wasn't an employee?? i realize i may not win, but i have to try to save my livelyhood!! for ltd i should be eligible for benefits until i'm 62. my son should have medical benefits until he is 25 as long as he is a student. this has made me so sick to my stomach. i have a headache. how will i survive? someone said unemployment. i was wondering how i can activly look for work if i am disabled? i know fake like everyone else, but it sure doesn't seem right. my head is spinning. kathy in il Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 20, 2002 Report Share Posted April 20, 2002 Hi Kathy, I am so sorry all this is happening to you. The same thing happened to me when I had been out of work for a year. I got a letter telling me, I was no longer an employee. I was salaried and used to work 50 to 60 hours a week, how quickly they forgot. Hang in there and be sure to talk to your lawyer. I know how you feel. Now the insurance company, worker compensation is trying to terminate me because I am hurt but they claim it didn't happen in work. I would love to know were it did happen. Hope you can rest a little tonight. Lynn ---------- > From: kringlemom@... > > Subject: Re: [ ] Kathy in IL > Date: Friday, April 19, 2002 4:30 PM > > well here i am with another chapter!!! i am on my way to counseling this > morning and i thought geez, i'd better call in to work. so i called my boss > (??) and she said she rec'd my appeal letters yesterday and had know h/r > rec'd too. she tried to transfer me but she got her voice mail. i said see, > she does not want to talk to me. when i get home from my appt. there is a > message on my phone from the head of h/r and he had someone else on the line. > hope you're having a nice day, call me back. so i did thinking they had > already gone for the day 1/2 day fridays. but at 12:01 i got the call. he > said we usually don't like to do this by e-mail or phone. you have been out > on disability. as you may or may not been aware your job has been eliminated > as of feb 1, 2002. however we could not tell you during a disability.. we > noticed you have sent in a premium on your medical benefits for april. even > though you were not a eligible employee, we will accept the benefit as > employee status through the end of april.you can opt for the cobra insurance > but it is quite substancial. we will be sending you out the severence packet > which includes a 7 week full pay check of $3500, and info on cobra coverage. > i said i guess my disability appeal doesn't mean anything then? he said it is > a total seperate entity and would be considered. (sure!!) i asked him why the > benefits person called me in march screaming at me why i couldn't do my sit > down job, saying there was nothing in the records i said to her i don't know > what job i would be doing. she screached the job you were doing wwhen you > left!!! he said he would check into that.he said he would mail the pkg pout > on monday. i have either 180 days ii think to cash this check. i have an > appt with an atty on monday. i think this is a really sad way to treat an > disabled employee, gee remember when they treated you like a family member?? > to think i was being loyal trying to file an appeal on my own. why did they > continue to pay my disability for 2 extra months if i wasn't an employee?? i > realize i may not win, but i have to try to save my livelyhood!! for ltd i > should be eligible for benefits until i'm 62. my son should have medical > benefits until he is 25 as long as he is a student. this has made me so sick > to my stomach. i have a headache. how will i survive? someone said > unemployment. i was wondering how i can activly look for work if i am > disabled? i know fake like everyone else, but it sure doesn't seem right. my > head is spinning. kathy in il > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 20, 2002 Report Share Posted April 20, 2002 Kathy, I am so sorry that this has happened to you also. When I was notified via the phone that my position had been eliminated in November or December (whatever it was) they told me that I had until 12:00 PM to pick up my personal belongings or they would be thrown away. The call came @ 10:00 AM. I had just had the knee revision surgery and unable to drive and had to get a hold of Ron to come home and take me over there. I never got a severance check. I was given a form to sign that I would not sue them regarding my termination or else not severance. They told me that I had something like 7 weeks of pay and a $500.00 lump sum. This was to start immediately. However, after 8 weeks, I called because I had no check or lump sum. Well, I called HR and they said weren't you given this when you left? No, I was given a box ONLY and even that I had to put together myself! They finally did pay out the severance pay that I was owed but once again I had to fight for this. And, of course, my COBRA woes, well they are documented in my other posts. Corporate America has really gone down the toilet and I don't see where they are trying to do anything to bring it back. Things are so much worse for you as you are a single parent. My prayers are with you as always that God gives you the strength to get you thru this. As far as unemployment, I was unable to collect as I am unable to look for any gainful employment. So pretty much the big boys have really screwed us good! Gentle, tender, unemployed angel hugs, Debs in FL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 20, 2002 Report Share Posted April 20, 2002 This is absolutely horrible, Kathy. I'm very sorry. On so many levels, it's really pretty unbelievable that people could treat you this way. Go to your appointment with your attorney on Monday armed with lots of information and questions. If I can come to help you in any way, please let me know. Re: [ ] Kathy in IL > well here i am with another chapter!!! i am on my way to counseling this > morning and i thought geez, i'd better call in to work. so i called my boss > (??) and she said she rec'd my appeal letters yesterday and had know h/r > rec'd too. she tried to transfer me but she got her voice mail. i said see, > she does not want to talk to me. when i get home from my appt. there is a > message on my phone from the head of h/r and he had someone else on the line. > hope you're having a nice day, call me back. so i did thinking they had > already gone for the day 1/2 day fridays. but at 12:01 i got the call. he > said we usually don't like to do this by e-mail or phone. you have been out > on disability. as you may or may not been aware your job has been eliminated > as of feb 1, 2002. however we could not tell you during a disability.. we > noticed you have sent in a premium on your medical benefits for april. even > though you were not a eligible employee, we will accept the benefit as > employee status through the end of april.you can opt for the cobra insurance > but it is quite substancial. we will be sending you out the severence packet > which includes a 7 week full pay check of $3500, and info on cobra coverage. > i said i guess my disability appeal doesn't mean anything then? he said it is > a total seperate entity and would be considered. (sure!!) i asked him why the > benefits person called me in march screaming at me why i couldn't do my sit > down job, saying there was nothing in the records i said to her i don't know > what job i would be doing. she screached the job you were doing wwhen you > left!!! he said he would check into that.he said he would mail the pkg pout > on monday. i have either 180 days ii think to cash this check. i have an > appt with an atty on monday. i think this is a really sad way to treat an > disabled employee, gee remember when they treated you like a family member?? > to think i was being loyal trying to file an appeal on my own. why did they > continue to pay my disability for 2 extra months if i wasn't an employee?? i > realize i may not win, but i have to try to save my livelyhood!! for ltd i > should be eligible for benefits until i'm 62. my son should have medical > benefits until he is 25 as long as he is a student. this has made me so sick > to my stomach. i have a headache. how will i survive? someone said > unemployment. i was wondering how i can activly look for work if i am > disabled? i know fake like everyone else, but it sure doesn't seem right. my > head is spinning. kathy in il Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 20, 2002 Report Share Posted April 20, 2002 thanks meghan, they are just sending out very mixed messages here. in march they were yelling because my records they said had no reason why i couldn't do my job. but if they eliminated my job in feb. what job were they pushing me to get back to? kathy in il Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 20, 2002 Report Share Posted April 20, 2002 geez deb. this is awful. my stuff my friends packed up and brought home before x-mas. we knew they were going to be letting people go so why have the stuff there. did they lay off a bunch of people or just you? kathy in il Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 20, 2002 Report Share Posted April 20, 2002 thanks gina, you are so sweet. next time you illinoisians get together, let me know. kathy in il Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 20, 2002 Report Share Posted April 20, 2002 Hey Kathy, They did lay off more than just me. Apparently, they are moving my old department to Tampa, a long way to commute, about 200 miles! So they covered their butts by doing that, however, I was one of the first to be laid with my job title, so you do the math. Corporate America does things just above the line, like the gray area. I don't know which is worse, I have worked for the big companies, American Express, United Healthcare, etc., and I have worked for the little guys......and guess what they still do it to the employees. Loyalty to a job in America is a thing of the past.......we are like dinosaurs. Hate to put it like that, but that is the reality. I know this is consuming all of your thoughts this weekend and to be very honest, at times I am still bitter about how my employer did me. I was a GOOD employee who worked twice as hard as most people there, knew my stuff, the only thing I could not give them was dependability. And I never should have worked as long as I did, but that is water under the bridge. I wish I lived closer so that my Cabana Boys could serve us Pina Coladas all weekend and we could drink to our employers, but cyber-thoughts will have to do, plus there is no hangover!!!!! I bought my fireplace for the patio today, so we are going to roast marshmallows tonight with the kids. Gotta love Florida living!!!!!!! Hang in there, kiddo! Love, Debs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 20, 2002 Report Share Posted April 20, 2002 thanks debs, boy it's chilly enough for us to use the fireplace too and if i wasn't all by myself i just may have done that. but i have many candles burning. ocean mist. did i tell you i called to see how much to move my home to florida yesterday?!?!?! about 10k once it's all said and done. so that won't be happening. but figured i'd check as long as i had a mortgage on it already. but i figured if it matched my severence pkg i just may have them pump up the tires!!! KATHY IN IL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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