Re: Pregnancy and SMA III.....

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/2/2003 11:49:24 PM Mountain Standard Time,

blueyedaze@... writes:

> believes in god's plan and dying when it's

> " your time.

you said you were scared shitless of having olivia and that you wanted me to

pray for you, and that i did. and still do.

-

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/2/2003 11:10:04 PM Central Daylight Time,

nicoleroberts@... writes:

> Amy -- what’s your point? Or are you just finding a reason to lash out

> again? At the moment, I feel much more concerned about your child having to

> deal with your anger/hatred than any of your physical issues. Nowadays,

> getting pregnant doesn’t mean a woman has to become a mother or even have

> that desire. Pregnancy is (as someone said) a by product of unprotected

> sex, and I believe bringing a LIFE into the world should occur by conscious

> and careful choice, not just because that’s what happened when someone

> wanted to get laid. I’ve never considered bringing a life into the world, I

> don’t want it, I don’t think I would be good at it and I don’t have ANY

> desire to take the risk or put my body through that. If I did want kids I

> would FOR SURE adopt. You might think that makes me a bad person, selfish

> probably, but I don’t carry those judgments — for me it is the smart thing

> to do for my body/health/life and for the world at large as many unwanted

> children (especially disabled ones!) need parents/homes — there’s nothing

> so

> spectacular about my gene pool! Amy, I understand that you are terrified

> right now and that your hormones are out of whack, but it’d be nice to see

> some of your mothering, nurturing side come out on this list. I think

> you’ve shown yourself to be rude, untrustworthy and disrespectful to enough

> people here. We all would like to offer you support.

I wasn't trying to be " hateful, " so I'm sorry if that's how you interpreted

my question. Not really sure who I've lashed out upon, either. I believe what

Jenn meant was that we're all bright enough to realize no contraception =

conception. I think adoption is the best solution for a person whose life would

be in jeopardy during pregnancy, but let's face facts here, adoption is

practically impossible for a person who is a) unmarried severely disabled c)

unemployed.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/3/2003 12:53:07 AM Central Daylight Time,

heaven20seven@... writes:

> If you're afraid of dying, i doubt anyones jealous.

>

??? Come again?

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/3/2003 12:54:16 AM Central Daylight Time,

heaven20seven@... writes:

> Yeah , I believe in god's plan and dying when it's

> " my time " whats wrong w/that?

Absolutely nothing is wrong with your beliefs. Trying to imply something

(not sure what because you were unclear) is ridiculous - we're human, people

fear

death whether they're mormon, christian, atheist.

[Guest guest]

what are u talking about

-

[Guest guest]

-

I think that this whole word selfish is out of hand. I think that a lot of

people disabled or

not have kids for selfish reasons. I don't know about the people on this

list because I

don't know any of them. I am speaking for MYSELF when I say that if I had

kids it would

be selfish and irresponsible of me considering my current health. That's me.

Please

don't everyone take my opinion and take it as a negative judgement against

you.

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[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/3/2003 1:25:50 AM Central Daylight Time,

heaven20seven@... writes:

> you said you were scared shitless of having olivia and that you wanted me

> to

> pray for you, and that i did. and still do.

The surgery to have her... which includes being intubated... which brings the

possibility of a respiratory distress... which could mean a trach... follow

me yet? I asked everyone to pray for us and appreciate the ones that do.

[Guest guest]

Amy -- what’s your point? Or are you just finding a reason to lash out

again? At the moment, I feel much more concerned about your child having to

deal with your anger/hatred than any of your physical issues. Nowadays,

getting pregnant doesn’t mean a woman has to become a mother or even have

that desire. Pregnancy is (as someone said) a by product of unprotected

sex, and I believe bringing a LIFE into the world should occur by conscious

and careful choice, not just because that’s what happened when someone

wanted to get laid. I’ve never considered bringing a life into the world, I

don’t want it, I don’t think I would be good at it and I don’t have ANY

desire to take the risk or put my body through that. If I did want kids I

would FOR SURE adopt. You might think that makes me a bad person, selfish

probably, but I don’t carry those judgments — for me it is the smart thing

to do for my body/health/life and for the world at large as many unwanted

children (especially disabled ones!) need parents/homes — there’s nothing so

spectacular about my gene pool! Amy, I understand that you are terrified

right now and that your hormones are out of whack, but it’d be nice to see

some of your mothering, nurturing side come out on this list. I think

you’ve shown yourself to be rude, untrustworthy and disrespectful to enough

people here. We all would like to offer you support.

N.

On 7/2/03 9:45 PM, " blueyedaze@... " <blueyedaze@...> wrote:

> In a message dated 7/2/2003 12:20:23 AM Central Daylight Time,

> nicoleroberts@... writes:

>

>> > have also chosen not to have children, or I

>> > wouldn¹t say chosen ‹ they¹ve just never seemed an option to me perhaps

>> > because of all the logistics involved ‹ but honestly I¹ve never had a

>> desire

>> > for them, I was born without the mothering instinct! I¹m happy with my

>> > husband and family of animals and adult lifestyle ‹ and I¹m happy when

>>

the

>> > kids/babies are screaming at the mall that I am NOT responsible for them!!!

>> > (see no mothering instinct, I think quiet babies are cute but that¹s as >>

far

>> > as it goes...)

>

> Haven't you been pregnant twice?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Parenting is NOT a selfish act. In fact, it's quite the opposite. You

are taking the focus of your life off of you, and placing it on another

person. Having someone to help around the house is just a bonus because

those benefits are minor in comparison to the selfless effort on the

parent's part to bring the child into the world and raise them.

Don't forget that our ancestors had very large families, partly because

of the need to have help around the farms and family businesses. They

didn't just hop in a car to get to work at 8 am, put in 8 hours, and be

home at 5 pm. We tend to forget that this idealistic, All-American way

of life with cushy jobs has only been in existence for the past 100

years.

The whole point is that being a parent is not a selfish choice, no

matter what your motivation, because the responsibilities are huge.

There are certainly selfish parents who put themselves before their

kids, but asking a child to help out in basic family needs is not

selfish.

As for the physical risks of having a child, you should discuss that

with your doctor because that could be a real concern you should have.

Jay

Re: Re: Pregnancy and SMA III.....

-

I think that this whole word selfish is out of hand. I think that a lot

of

people disabled or

not have kids for selfish reasons. I don't know about the people on this

list because I

don't know any of them. I am speaking for MYSELF when I say that if I

had

kids it would

be selfish and irresponsible of me considering my current health. That's

me.

Please

don't everyone take my opinion and take it as a negative judgement

against

you.

_________________________________________________________________

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http://join.msn.com/?page=features/featuredemail

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[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/2/2003 5:12:35 PM Central Daylight Time,

pamelamo@... writes:

> One day she told me to please not tell her mother but she thought

> her mother had adopted her just so she would have someone to take care

> of her as she got worse. I found this so sad to think this beautiful

> child would feel this w

As I sit here and think about it, that is absolutly the worst thing! Shame on

that woman!

[Guest guest]

I would say asking your children to do things about there home is very very good

it teaches them to value what is within there home and prepares them for when

they leave home as one day all of the children will i hope have there own homes

and wish to do the same boy's or girls , children should have time to be

children to play and enjoy themselves but they should be bought up to respect

and value others about them and the things other people do and have .

All of my boy's who are aged 9/7/4 know how to turn on the washing machine and

put things in as with the tumble dryer , the tv video ,dvd ect i end up asking

them how to do stuff at times it's very funny , my youngest loves to vacumm, the

oldest loves to odd job's and they feel valued by us letting them , it's only as

they grow into teenagers do they hate to do anything most of the time ,lol.

They all love the park and playing with there friends ,they all love music and

alot more , I hope that they continue to be this way ,Ian and I love each one of

them and they i hope in turn will love and respect us as they grow older and

that they will go onto become nice kind helpful ,thoughtful adults whoo will

work hard and enjoy life , because of the values they have been tought as kids .

jondus@... wrote:

Parenting is NOT a selfish act. In fact, it's quite the opposite. You

are taking the focus of your life off of you, and placing it on another

person. Having someone to help around the house is just a bonus because

those benefits are minor in comparison to the selfless effort on the

parent's part to bring the child into the world and raise them.

Don't forget that our ancestors had very large families, partly because

of the need to have help around the farms and family businesses. They

didn't just hop in a car to get to work at 8 am, put in 8 hours, and be

home at 5 pm. We tend to forget that this idealistic, All-American way

of life with cushy jobs has only been in existence for the past 100

years.

The whole point is that being a parent is not a selfish choice, no

matter what your motivation, because the responsibilities are huge.

There are certainly selfish parents who put themselves before their

kids, but asking a child to help out in basic family needs is not

selfish.

As for the physical risks of having a child, you should discuss that

with your doctor because that could be a real concern you should have.

Jay

Re: Re: Pregnancy and SMA III.....

-

I think that this whole word selfish is out of hand. I think that a lot

of

people disabled or

not have kids for selfish reasons. I don't know about the people on this

list because I

don't know any of them. I am speaking for MYSELF when I say that if I

had

kids it would

be selfish and irresponsible of me considering my current health. That's

me.

Please

don't everyone take my opinion and take it as a negative judgement

against

you.

_________________________________________________________________

Add photos to your messages with MSN 8. Get 2 months FREE*.

http://join.msn.com/?page=features/featuredemail

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[Guest guest]

no...you said.........where is this baby going to go, etc. i am scared. it

isnt until recently you said u were scared about intubation.

-

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/2/03 11:55:49 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

desiree_parisien@... writes:

> Like what were the physical changes

> that you went through with your pregnancy, did you become weaker after

> having the baby, or was your strength regained like it was before the

> pregnancy.

I actually grew stronger after the birth of my daughter, mainly because I was

doing everything I could possibly do physically for her. I pushed myself to

take care of whatever needs she had, so long as it was physically possible for

myself and didn't put her at risk for harm. For example, I would feed her

while I held her...since my arms were too weak to bear her weight, she would lay

in my lap propped so that she could not roll off my lap. I would either sit

next to her while she was in her highchair or lay with her on the floor to

interact/play with her. Furthermore, I was always involved in her care needs in

one

way or another, especially if it was a task physically impossible for me to

perform.

Throughout the pregnancy, morning sickness was a huge issue, as well as pain

during the last trimester. le was, literally, utilizing every inch of

space available to her, which often involved pushing against bones, etc.

Needless to say, it hurt! However, my back grew much straighter as Dani grew in

size...I do not have rods, and live with severe scoliosis. My breathing also

improved as Dani grew, a reality the doctors still do not understand. I was very

fortunate in that life found a way...

Amy M. Marquez

Carol Stream, Illinois

Families of Spinal Muscular Atrophy - Vice President Chicagoland Chapter

Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA) - Type 1

Mom to le - Born July 19, 1999

Ella - Active Service Dog

Colette - Retired Service Dog