Re: a lonely night

[Guest guest]

,

I am just catching up on my e-mails so please forgive me for not responding

sooner. Please do not feel bad about getting a walker. I have a variety of

orthopedic devices that I keep here in the house including but not limited to

canes, crutches, a raised toilet seat (throne), several ice cuffs, a walker

and finally the crowning jewel in my collection, my wheelchair. To me, it is

the most embarrassing thing that I own. But when we go out, I kinda go with

it and make the best out of a poor situation. When my youngest pushes the

" old lady " , she goes so fast, that I get a mini face lift, when the oldest

daughter pushes, all she does is grunt and groan (Mom is not exactly a

featherweight) and then when my husband drives, well, I think the word,

husband explains it all! It never fails, they always want to show me

something AFTER we have passed it up, so I show them the eyes in the back of

Mom's head, by pulling what hair I have left in the back apart and that

always makes em start laughing. Shopping is no longer a fun experience, but

at least I get to go. I try to give them hand signals as to where I want to

go and that has not proven too successful as of yet, still in a trial and

error mode. Then when they get the chair out of the van, the youngest one

feels compelled to sit in it and pop some wheelies or they threaten to leave

me go down the ramp in the parking lot unattended. So they kinda go with the

flow too. It is a family thing. I will NEVER get used to it, but you do

what you gotta do to get thru this disease.

I will always mourn for the person that I used to be and the things that will

never happen or the wife that I always wanted to be, but this is the path

that God has sent me down and I will still enjoy the view because the

alternatives is to let this disease win and rob me and my family of all that

life has to offer. I guess I will know that I have excepted everything when

I can go to Disney World in the wheelchair and not feel " weird " . So I still

have some to go yet before I am comfortable in these shoes.

Hope you have a wonderful pain free weekend with friends and family.

Gentle, tender, angel hugs,

Debs in FL