School Daze

[Guest guest]

Hi all

Something else I remember about the early days in elementary was the

field trips we took to the Museums and the how pooped I was when I got

home. I live near Chicago and there was always couple of trips every

year to the Museums and Shedd Aquarium and the Adler Planetarium...Talk

about stairs there are lots and much walking around the area. It was a

lot of fun but sapped my energy really fast. It was rush rush rush too

and it was hard keeping up with the group I would be with....I look back

with a smile though.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/9/00 7:53:24 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

egroups writes:

<< now pray i cna find some competent doctor to fully

access her needs..... >>

Me, too, Leah! That is great about the school situation....at least you know

have something worked out! Glad to see you are hanging in there with leaving

Ashton at camp! Remember the rough week I had with at the daycare? She

will do fine...let them handle it...hehe.....

First day of school today....went without a hitch, but I was the one who was

excited and got up at the crack of dawn to check and recheck 's backpack

to make sure he had everything!!

Off topic, but it has been a crazy week, what with the Firestone tire recall!

My new truck is a Ford and 's tires on his Trooper have Firestone, and

we have to get both vehicles checked out, especially since 's heading

off to college next week, with him driving with his roommate and the family

following in hot pursuit!!!

Will report on 's first day, as soon as he gets off the

bus......lol.....enjoying some peace and quiet before school is out!

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/10/00 2:47:46 PM Eastern Daylight Time, Ltb3105@...

writes:

<<

Will report on 's first day, as soon as he gets off the

bus......lol.....enjoying some peace and quiet before school is out! >>

Wow . You guys start school early.

And I remember the college thing so well. I was actually in Paris last year

when Joe started school. I was so nervous. Even though he lived on campus,

he's only 40 minutes from home, so it didn't REALLY feel like he left for

college...LOL Now when goes next year, I'm going to be a mess!!!!!

SHe's my right arm!!!!

Hope things went well with today.

Donna

[Guest guest]

When was in preschool (Early Intervention type school), he bit his zipper

on purpose to make his lip bleed. They had been on strike for a few weeks and

there hadn't been any school. This was the first day back. DH had told them

(correctly, not a slam on him) that the cardiologists were concerned over any

injury that caused him to swallow blood, or like dental work, due to his heart

condition. They called us to come get him. We were " estranged " at this time,

and they couldn't get a hold of him, so they called me. When I went to pick him

up, he was happy as a lark. I told them, you know he did this on purpose to get

to go home. I was called a bad mother because Down Syndrome children were too

loveable to be that beguiling.

Loriann

[Guest guest]

laura,

the tires on my explorer are recalled too.my dad and mom and grandma all

called about a freaking zillion times leaving messages on machine " please

take the truck in " " my babies are in the truck " and so on and on and

on...... anyways , i will get around to it....heheheh i hope sean had a good

day....... ashton came home early...me and dennis went to get her this

am....... the camp director called and said she has been on a rampage of

hitting, biting, and pinching....i find this shocking since she doesnt do

this shit in my house.....she drops and flops and is stubborn and sulks, but

agression nononono...i dont know what the hell to do..i know i just need to

get her evaluated before school starts so i am not setting her up to

fail...anyone know of a good book to read on behav mod and how to implement

your own plan.......please share...take care all, going to bed to recover

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/10/00 11:25:58 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

okieleah@... writes:

<< ashton came home early...me and dennis went to get her this

am....... the camp director called and said she has been on a rampage of

hitting, biting, and pinching... >>

Leah,

Did Ashton have to leave camp early because of her behavior? Is she glad to

be home or is she mad at you? That's too bad things didn't work out for both

of you. I'm sorry.

Gail

[Guest guest]

gail,

they called this am and requested we pick her up because her behavior has

continued to escalate.... when dh picked her up, she was sitting nicely and

eating...he saw no agression and i didnt either.

[Guest guest]

Leah,

So sorry that Ashton was sent home. But I know that you are relieved. It's

a shame they could not control the behavior. Do you think this was her

effort to get what she wanted--home? I think she is pretty smart!! Hope

school works with her better than the camp did.

& Garry, parents of (9 ds), (8 ds/g-tube), JJ (6

ds/autism/celiac), (5 ds), and Esther (3 ds). All adopted.

[Guest guest]

nancy,

your not the only one who hopes school works out better than camp....my

nerves are just about shot ot hell.....lmao

[Guest guest]

oh lori, this is horrid thinking.....those people are nuts......

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/10/00 11:21:42 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

okieleah@... writes:

<< anyone know of a good book to read on behav mod and how to implement

your own plan.......please share...take care all, going to bed to recover

>>

Leah,

I am sorry to hear Ashton had to come home early. I suppose it could be for

a number of reason that she was acting as she was. I think you want something

on Positive Behavior Supports and Functional Assessment. We had an excellent

person do a Positive Support Plan on Gene this past spring because he was

frequently refusing to do things asked of him with a loud " NO " and going into

the bathroom at school and not wanting to come out. She first really

identifies the behavior, then the possible reasons for it, like control,

attention or avoidance., than she develped strategies for how to deal with

those things. All year prior to this, we had the social worker ( who knew

nothing about autism ) and the aide and teacher, wanting to just put Gene in

time out. They did not have a clue about " why " he was doing this until we had

the plan done and then, the approach became different. Try this :

M. ( 1998) Within our reach: Behavior prevention and interfention

strategies for learners with mental retardation and autism. A publication of

the Division on Mental Retardation and Develpmental Disabilities of the

Council for Exceptional CHildren.

PS. I am going to pick up Gene at camp this morning. His week is finished.

I really have missed him.

Lauri

[Guest guest]

YEAH!!!!! yeah gene si coming home today adn survived all week without being

kicked out!!!!!1 way to go gene!!!!!! lauri, i am so happy he survived, but

better yet, you survived also and that was probably harder on you than on

him....... thanks for the info on the book........have fun spending the day

with your " baby " !!!!leah

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/11/00 7:33:44 AM Eastern Daylight Time, okieleah@...

writes:

<< ..have fun spending the day

with your " baby " !!!!leah >>

Thanks Leah, It is wonderful to have him home. After his initial two days

of homesickness he did fine. I found him relaxed and happy when I arrived

which I think had to do with being in nature for 5 days with no TV, video or

computer. The counselors were super and made a book for him that I can use

next year to get him ready for camp.

Lauri

[Guest guest]

lauri,

i ams soooooo glad to hear a parent pass off positive vibes about camp....i

still think we have threatened seth's chances of going in the near

future.....hehehe gail, just kidding..

[Guest guest]

Leah,

I'm really sorry you had such a hard time with camp for Ash, but I really

think the camp was to blame. I can't imagine what Brook would do except dive

in if he was in a canoe. Brook had a 1 on 1 aide at camp, that can make a

big difference. Also the attitudes and expectations of the counselors are

very important. They need to understand and be knowledgeable about all kinds

of disabilities and know how to deal with behaviors etc. I was in Italy when

Brook was at camp and can't imagine having to come home early because the

counselors didn't know how to do their job.

They should be ashamed of themselves!

Congratulations on your marathon IEP! It will probably take a while to

get Ash adjusted but hopefully it will really be worth all of your hard

effort.

Love, Marisa

[Guest guest]

thanks for support marisa and i am sooooooooo glad you got to enjoy italy

while he was at camp.....i love all of europe...... i think support was

partly to blame,she is no angel, but like laura said she's not agressive and

never has been unless someone else starts it........little boy threw sand in

her eyes at playground she said very loudly " stop, no throw me " he did it

again.....wellshe smacked him......i thought good for you ashton, his mom

didnt think so of course!!!!! but she never starts the first punch, she

provides the last punch...eheh thats my power ranger girl... as for

adjustment yes it will be hard......i am going to take pictures of school

today and start making labels forher....... my dh is going to take leave and

go to school with her the first week or two......one to provide support and

two to not her wrap the teachers around her pinky.....she has an easy way of

doing that nad then they find it hard to discipline or be hardon her........

she's a mess........Lord help me....hehe take care

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/5/00 10:29:12 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

egroups writes:

<< i went to school at noon to give ashton her meds, >>

Leah:

So glad things went well.....so everyone's in school heh?? How come the

school nurse didn't give Ashton her meds, or did you do it just because you

happened to hang around the school for the first day??!! Just wondering......

What great posts lately....it's about time!! Praying that we are ALL on an

upswing lately.......

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/6/00 9:12:39 AM Eastern Daylight Time, Ltb3105@...

writes:

<<

What great posts lately....it's about time!! Praying that we are ALL on an

upswing lately.......

>>

Indeed !! BTW, how are you handling your son being away at college?

Donna

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/6/00 11:47:29 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

egroups writes:

<< There's only 3 kids riding this bus and it has an aide (yipee) and they

promised a car seat. Naturally, I'm learning not to trust....LOL

BUT the good news is Maddie did great again. She seems quite comfortable in

the classroom. >>

Donna:

Only THREE kids and the driver forgets YOURS??? I am totally outraged!

Riding the bus should be a stress buster for those parents who have other

kids to take to different schools (like me) and NOT a stressful situation!

Especially since if that happened to me, I would be worrying every day

whether or not he'll show up!

Here's hoping that mistake will be the first and last one and that everything

else runs smoothly....glad Maddie's and everyone else's school daze are

working out okay.......btw, so are 's.....nothing eventful to report, so

I guess that's good news, LOL, except for one comment the teacher's made

since school started.....'s into everything, touches everything, gets

into everything, and will complete tasks, but only with a LOT of

redirection.......so what else is new???

LOLOL,

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/6/00 4:01:35 PM Eastern Daylight Time, Ltb3105@...

writes:

<< Only THREE kids and the driver forgets YOURS??? I am totally outraged!

Riding the bus should be a stress buster for those parents who have other

kids to take to different schools (like me) and NOT a stressful situation!

Especially since if that happened to me, I would be worrying every day

whether or not he'll show up! >>

I know . I have FIVE in FIVE different schools. n's bus didn't

show up today either (his first day of high school). OOOHHHH I was beyond

MAD!!!!!! At ALL of the drivers!!!!! PLUS, the goof ball dropped him off

three blocks AFTER his stop and he had to walk!!!!!! Luckily, , my 17

yo was here to drive n to school, because I was out at MM with

Maddie!!!! DH took Allie to school this morning!!! IRONICALLY, her bus is

the only one that showed, and she drove in with dh and didn't need the

bus!!!!!

AND........................CAN I VENT?!?!?!?!?!? is my perfect child.

Absolutely perfect!!! But she just called me------------they towed dh's car

which she was driving. She and her girlfriends all went downtown to buy

school shoes. Obviously, they didn't read the sign where they parked and now

the car is towed! UGH!!! WHAT a day, eh?????

Donna

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/6/00 6:02:44 PM Eastern Daylight Time, duffey48@...

writes:

<< CAN I VENT?!?!?!?!?!? is my perfect child.

Absolutely perfect!!! But she just called me------------they towed dh's car

which she was driving. She and her girlfriends all went downtown to buy

school shoes. Obviously, they didn't read the sign where they parked and

now

the car is towed! UGH!!! WHAT a day, eh?????

Donna >>

Donna,

(((((hugs))))) Now's the time to think of things to be grateful

for.....Well at least when Maddie gets to school, it's a good one!

Gail

[Guest guest]

MB:

That's good that the aggressiveness has decreased but what is up with the

screaming??? Is Ben on Risperdal? This has helped with 's

growling sounds........just a thought.....is something different going on at

school? Maybe they're trying something new that he was protesting?!

[Guest guest]

Now, I KNOW something's up at school. I just returned from a last minute

trip to Vegas (hubby's there on business) and stayed with a respite

provider from MHMR. They reported did wonderfully and the regular

caregiver commented this was the best behaved she's ever seen !

However, when they picked him up from school Monday afternoon (I returned

Mon. evening) the teacher asked the sitter if had taken his med's that

morning! She said he was HORRIBLE and a MONSTER.

The caregiver called me last night because she said it was bothering her that

the teacher told her that. She told me she thought that was odd, as was

perfectly fine after they left school and went back home, up until the time I

came home!

Just what in hell is going on at that school? You know, we have tight

security and I was thinking even if someone did go to the school to peek in,

the front office has enough time to announce my arrival as the classrooms all

have phones now, and if were strapped in the chair or acting up, they

would be sure to have the situation under control by the time I arrived at

the classroom.

Any thoughts on this? We are going to have the functional behavioral

assessment done by a therapist at the school and I have just received the

autism eval's finally from the school administrator, which are going to be

forwarded to 's doctors and psychologist, who we will be seeing this week

on the 22nd.

I'm really confused now.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 2/20/02 9:35:24 AM Eastern Standard Time,

joan@... writes:

> The school sees you now as an adversary. Everything you say will be

> construed to be an attack. YOu haVe to get them to let their guard down

> again so their true colors show. This is not at all easy when what you

> really want to do is strap them in a rifton chair for a while so they can

> see how it feels

I love this. You gave me a good laugh. Although it is not funny at all. I

feel everyone's frustration. Good advice Joan. Maybe I'll take a little of

this advice myself.

Diane

[Guest guest]

The part I hate most about being an educated, concerned mother to a

nonverbal child with autism and DS is that you have to rely on others for

information--and once they find out you mean business, the stories change

willy nilly.

I don't have an answer for you besides this: ask for data. Ask for a

video tape so you can help problem-solve. Or, if they're saying he's doing

really well, ask for a video tape so you can all document what works (make

them sound like wonderful people and that you want to be able to share

their skills when there are problems in the future).

It's an exhausting process. What you need to do is find someone you can

*trust* to tell you the truth who really *cares* about and is a part

of the " system. " What will be hard for you, (don't take this wrong),

is that you need this person to be able to present everything calmly,

without drama, and in a way that will make you almost feel like she is on

the other side. You will want to remind yourself that she is not. My gut

tells me there is enough " junk " going on that the facts will speak for

themselves.

Lately I've taken to telling the professionals that I " m receiving

conflicting information regarding this and that, and my primary goal at the

moment is merely to determine an acurate picture of what is going on. That

frustrates folks. But when I persist by listing the various stories that

sound so different, I can then query the doubting professioinal by

saying, " Do you see what the problem is here? No story corroborates the

other. I have three or four very different versions being reported and I

merely want to be able to see the picture so I can be supportive. It's hard

to be supportive when the facts change every two minutes. "

The school sees you now as an adversary. Everything you say will be

construed to be an attack. YOu haVe to get them to let their guard down

again so their true colors show. This is not at all easy when what you

really want to do is strap them in a rifton chair for a while so they can

see how it feels.

Anyway.

Sorry about the confusion. Expect it go get worse. Ask questions, don't

rely on anectdotal information. Ask for specific information.( " It's so

great that you are able to see such improvement with . the other day I

heard he didn't do so well. Can you help me understand what elements create

a " good " day and which ones make for a " tough " one? " Tell me what he's

doing. Tellme the class routine. Tell me who is working with him each day.

What are they working on? How does respond when you.... " )

It's exhausting. That's why I'm an official dinosaur.

Joan