RE: OT: Thread on Sexual Orientation, cont. Plus Being Allies for Each Other

November 17, 2008

hi alana i totaly know what your sayn that why i think gina idea of a sma gay/bi

group sounds good so we are all openly free to descuses our relationships

without any ill fellings

Â

lauramechelle

From: Alana <alrt@...>

Subject: OT: Thread on Sexual Orientation, cont. Plus Being Allies

for Each Other

Date: Monday, 17 November, 2008, 10:33 PM

Yay for the bi's! Yay for ALL the queer folk here! It's nice to

find community within community.

For years I never felt a need to seek out people with the same

disability as mine. I've grown up with a cross-disability identity,

especially working for so long in the Independent Living Movement. I

have very similar respiratory concerns as those for people with

quadruplegia and all types of neuromuscular diseases; folks with

cerebral palsy and multiple sclerosis are talked down to just like I

am by strangers in line at the bank and post office; and deaf people,

blind people, and people with cognitive impairments face employment

discrimination in ways similar to my own experience. I've always

felt like " we're all in this together. "

It was not until I got seriously ill in a way with which no one else

I knew was dealing, that I sought out others with SMA. It'll be

almost 6 years since Bettylou referred me here. Thank you! I never

found anyone with the same health problems I have, but I was pleased

to find a vibrant community of innovative and industrious people here.

When I introduced myself I told people I was bisexual, and hoped to

find other queer folk, too. Some wrote me off-list and others were

more publically out. Since then I've been struck by how silent many

group members get when someone mentions a same-sex partner. The

response is markedly different or off-list from when a heterosexual

partner is mentioned. " Hope you and have a great time! " might

be posted, but no such post goes to the list from those same people

if " " is a " Jane. "

In a community like this, sexual orientation shouldn't matter, but it

does. I live in a queer mecca here in Northern California where most

people don't assume things about people's sexual orientation. It's

amazing to be disabled here, also, because a lot of people don't

assume someone has a disability or not. Disability and sexual

orientation are things that aren't always visible, but the way these

identities make us feel when interacting within a group, and the ways

we are treated, are as varied as the individuals we are. I wish I

didn't witness so much silence here when sexual orientation in on the

table.

I am thrilled that more people are coming out on this list, and I

can't help but notice that many of these folks are younger. It shows

a change in our world, that we are becoming more confident about our

differences, and that we are becoming more accepting of each other.

Every day I work hard to be an ally to those who are different from

me. Recently, I especially find myself advocating for the freedom of

my friends and family members to express their religious beliefs even

though I am an atheist. It's uncomfortable for me that there is a

split between some communities of faith and the queer community. On

both sides we are seeing people be very divisive. I am angry that

churches and temples are being vandalized in the name of gay rights.

I am equally angry that some religious organizations have actively

encouraged their members to fund efforts to ban same-sex civil rights.

I bring this up because I'm uncomfortable with silence and divisions

even in this small and close-knit community. We are usually

wonderful allies to each other. I feel the silence and disapproval.

I am hopeful that we can more categorically be supportive of each

other about things that are core to who we are.

November 17, 2008

Love is good - however expressed.

I agree, I am an old lady now, and yet I am still saddened by the way people

judge. When I lived in London, I was lucky enough to have a huge amount of

friends, some straight, some gay, some bi, and some... Well, some who don't

need or want labels. I worked in counselling for 15 years, and for a short

while during that time was working for a Christian based HIV focussed

charity - my eyes were opened to just how loving, caring and completely open

they were, aged 16 to 82, and how much work they did that other

organisations with grander aspirations, had flitted over and ignored. They

were Quakers. I am still a pagan (for want of a better term, not keen on

labels for my beliefs).

Life is too short, whether you live to 90 or like many we have known who

don't make their first year. Too short not to at least talk about stuff we

find uncomfortable, and try to build bridges that we can still express love

without prerequisites.

We all have fears, dislikes, and even hates (I really, really, don't like

anything with more than four legs...! Seriously, they can outrun me and are

usually stronger), but isn't that the great thing about being a thinking

being? We also can simply not understand or think, and ignorance is the

killer.

If there is anyone who is not comfortable with the queer thread, fine, ok,

just hit delete - but if you want to talk, or learn, or ever just listen -

that's cool too.

Sorry if I stated the obvious Alana and just reiterated

Best love,

From: [mailto: ] On

Behalf Of Alana

Sent: Monday, November 17, 2008 9:33 PM

Subject: OT: Thread on Sexual Orientation, cont. Plus Being

Allies for Each Other