Guest guest Posted November 27, 2008 Report Share Posted November 27, 2008 Pardon me, , but FUCK HIM! Everything you said was unacceptable of him. Time to start a new tradition. On Nov 27, 2008, at 10:09 PM, wrote: > I really hate going to my father in-laws house for, well any get > together really. I mean -really- hate it. Not only does my > husband's Dad still treat him like the screw up teenager he used to > be but his whole family treats us as though we are just 'guests' not > family. I hate going over there so much, I dread it for days prior. > > So, as tradition, we went over to his Dad's house for Thanksgiving. > Once again, my husband, daughter, and I were sat in the kitchen with > the 'kids' while the rest of the family sat in the formal dining > room. Now, all of us cannot fit in the formal dining room so it > makes sense that we are all split up. However, I don't know why we > are always banished to the 'kids' table. To top all this off, his > Dad has NO CLUE about toddlers. He's got his toy room set up in his > office where my daughter can get into paperwork and pictures galore. > He has no clue about how easy it is for her to pull something down on > top of her head. He also has an open staircase that she could easily > fall down. So, when she's not confined in her highchair, and I > spend the ENTIRE time following her around making sure that she > doesn't get hurt or get into stuff. > > I also noticed today that his Dad has pictures of his girlfriend's > granddaughters on the fridge but none of . The most recent > picture he has out of her is her newborn picture and that's in the > computer room. WTF. Last Christmas, we spent a ton of money buying > formal family pictures and pictures of in really nice frames > for our parents. Guess where the ones we bought his Dad are? Laying > on the floor in the guest bedroom. He took pictues of her at her > birthday and over the summer. He could have stuck one of those on > his fridge. > > I need a drink. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 27, 2008 Report Share Posted November 27, 2008 Change traditions - invite him to your house and sit him into the kitchen. Camilla > > I really hate going to my father in-laws house for, well any get > together really. I mean -really- hate it. Not only does my > husband's Dad still treat him like the screw up teenager he used to > be but his whole family treats us as though we are just 'guests' not > family. I hate going over there so much, I dread it for days prior. > > So, as tradition, we went over to his Dad's house for Thanksgiving. > Once again, my husband, daughter, and I were sat in the kitchen with > the 'kids' while the rest of the family sat in the formal dining > room. Now, all of us cannot fit in the formal dining room so it > makes sense that we are all split up. However, I don't know why we > are always banished to the 'kids' table. To top all this off, his > Dad has NO CLUE about toddlers. He's got his toy room set up in his > office where my daughter can get into paperwork and pictures galore. > He has no clue about how easy it is for her to pull something down on > top of her head. He also has an open staircase that she could easily > fall down. So, when she's not confined in her highchair, and I > spend the ENTIRE time following her around making sure that she > doesn't get hurt or get into stuff. > > I also noticed today that his Dad has pictures of his girlfriend's > granddaughters on the fridge but none of . The most recent > picture he has out of her is her newborn picture and that's in the > computer room. WTF. Last Christmas, we spent a ton of money buying > formal family pictures and pictures of in really nice frames > for our parents. Guess where the ones we bought his Dad are? Laying > on the floor in the guest bedroom. He took pictues of her at her > birthday and over the summer. He could have stuck one of those on > his fridge. > > I need a drink. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 27, 2008 Report Share Posted November 27, 2008 I¹d ask him why he doesn¹t have any pics of claudia up & tell him how you feel. I¹m pretty direct about those things though. ;-) it doesn¹t keep the peace, but ultimately it will all come out anyway. On 11/28/08 1:46 AM, " Camilla " <sonnengelb12@...> wrote: > > > > Change traditions - invite him to your house and sit him into the > kitchen. > > Camilla > > >> > >> > I really hate going to my father in-laws house for, well any get >> > together really. I mean -really- hate it. Not only does my >> > husband's Dad still treat him like the screw up teenager he used to >> > be but his whole family treats us as though we are just 'guests' > not >> > family. I hate going over there so much, I dread it for days prior. >> > >> > So, as tradition, we went over to his Dad's house for > Thanksgiving. >> > Once again, my husband, daughter, and I were sat in the kitchen > with >> > the 'kids' while the rest of the family sat in the formal dining >> > room. Now, all of us cannot fit in the formal dining room so it >> > makes sense that we are all split up. However, I don't know why we >> > are always banished to the 'kids' table. To top all this off, his >> > Dad has NO CLUE about toddlers. He's got his toy room set up in > his >> > office where my daughter can get into paperwork and pictures > galore. >> > He has no clue about how easy it is for her to pull something down > on >> > top of her head. He also has an open staircase that she could > easily >> > fall down. So, when she's not confined in her highchair, and > I >> > spend the ENTIRE time following her around making sure that she >> > doesn't get hurt or get into stuff. >> > >> > I also noticed today that his Dad has pictures of his girlfriend's >> > granddaughters on the fridge but none of . The most recent >> > picture he has out of her is her newborn picture and that's in the >> > computer room. WTF. Last Christmas, we spent a ton of money > buying >> > formal family pictures and pictures of in really nice > frames >> > for our parents. Guess where the ones we bought his Dad are? > Laying >> > on the floor in the guest bedroom. He took pictues of her at her >> > birthday and over the summer. He could have stuck one of those on >> > his fridge. >> > >> > I need a drink. >> > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2008 Report Share Posted November 28, 2008 I dreaded being around my in-laws, too, for many years.....until I said " no more of this crap " . Like your father-in-law, my in-laws view & I as helpless invalids who are incapable of living independent lives. They consider it their right to come into our home and take over. It got so bad two Christmases ago that we had a fight over it, and they have not been invited back. Luckily, they live 300 miles away and are in their 80's, so they haven't invited themselves. Vicki **************Finally, one site has it all: your friends, your email, your favorite sites. Try the NEW AOL.com. (http://www.aol.com/?optin=new-dp & icid=aolcom40vanity & ncid=emlcntaolcom00000006) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2008 Report Share Posted November 28, 2008 I guess I am puzzled about why you keep going there. To say they are family...for me, time is too precious. Strangers would treat you better than that. I don't get it. L ________________________________ From: <dvlwksp@...> Sent: Thursday, November 27, 2008 9:09:35 PM Subject: Why I Dread Going to My Inlaws - Just Venting I really hate going to my father in-laws house for, well any get together really. I mean -really- hate it. Not only does my husband's Dad still treat him like the screw up teenager he used to be but his whole family treats us as though we are just 'guests' not family. I hate going over there so much, I dread it for days prior. So, as tradition, we went over to his Dad's house for Thanksgiving. Once again, my husband, daughter, and I were sat in the kitchen with the 'kids' while the rest of the family sat in the formal dining room. Now, all of us cannot fit in the formal dining room so it makes sense that we are all split up. However, I don't know why we are always banished to the 'kids' table. To top all this off, his Dad has NO CLUE about toddlers. He's got his toy room set up in his office where my daughter can get into paperwork and pictures galore. He has no clue about how easy it is for her to pull something down on top of her head. He also has an open staircase that she could easily fall down. So, when she's not confined in her highchair, and I spend the ENTIRE time following her around making sure that she doesn't get hurt or get into stuff. I also noticed today that his Dad has pictures of his girlfriend's granddaughters on the fridge but none of . The most recent picture he has out of her is her newborn picture and that's in the computer room. WTF. Last Christmas, we spent a ton of money buying formal family pictures and pictures of in really nice frames for our parents. Guess where the ones we bought his Dad are? Laying on the floor in the guest bedroom. He took pictues of her at her birthday and over the summer. He could have stuck one of those on his fridge. I need a drink. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2008 Report Share Posted November 30, 2008 Yuck! I'm sorry that he is so bad--my future mother-in-law is not much better. She lives in an upstairs condo and in the 2 years we've been dating has only gotten together with me 3 times. I think her words to my fiance about me were " you can do better " ......~a From: <dvlwksp@...> Subject: Why I Dread Going to My Inlaws - Just Venting Date: Thursday, November 27, 2008, 10:09 PM I really hate going to my father in-laws house for, well any get together really. I mean -really- hate it. Not only does my husband's Dad still treat him like the screw up teenager he used to be but his whole family treats us as though we are just 'guests' not family. I hate going over there so much, I dread it for days prior. So, as tradition, we went over to his Dad's house for Thanksgiving. Once again, my husband, daughter, and I were sat in the kitchen with the 'kids' while the rest of the family sat in the formal dining room. Now, all of us cannot fit in the formal dining room so it makes sense that we are all split up. However, I don't know why we are always banished to the 'kids' table. To top all this off, his Dad has NO CLUE about toddlers. He's got his toy room set up in his office where my daughter can get into paperwork and pictures galore. He has no clue about how easy it is for her to pull something down on top of her head. He also has an open staircase that she could easily fall down. So, when she's not confined in her highchair, and I spend the ENTIRE time following her around making sure that she doesn't get hurt or get into stuff. I also noticed today that his Dad has pictures of his girlfriend's granddaughters on the fridge but none of . The most recent picture he has out of her is her newborn picture and that's in the computer room. WTF. Last Christmas, we spent a ton of money buying formal family pictures and pictures of in really nice frames for our parents. Guess where the ones we bought his Dad are? Laying on the floor in the guest bedroom. He took pictues of her at her birthday and over the summer. He could have stuck one of those on his fridge. I need a drink. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2008 Report Share Posted November 30, 2008 I've dealt with inlaws from hell {now my ex in laws} that acted like their son had married a specie beneath farm animals and blow up sex dolls {ironically those items were a passtime for my ex's brother and favorite golden boy of my ex in laws btw}. It made a huge difference in my life when I stopped hoping they'd understand me and just plain put down my wheel and refused to be treated like a second class citizen {whether in my own home or theirs}. It was way less stressful for me to confront them head on than to spend another momment of my life being polite to people who weren't polite to anybody else. I literally felt like a weight had been taken off of me when I ignored my anxiety and confronted them. It was really a suprise for me to feel very empowered and good afterwards but it was a defining momment of my twenties that I never expected beforehand. I grew up seeing my mom give her own in laws 'dirty looks' {her and my sister's pouting tactic for stress management} being silent, resentful, and miserable all day, year after year when my grand parents would visit once a year. I refused to follow that path and have never regretted it in twenty years. Does your husband know how much this routine is hurting you? In the future and before the next holiday meal tell all adult family members who will be at the same gathering that you'd like to rotate turns for which adult sits in the kitchen so you {for once} get a chance to sit in the dining room. If they refuse than go and seat yourselves ahead of time at the grown up table? Or just plain refuse to sit at the kids table and tell them it's innappropriate for you as an adult to be relegated to the childrens corner every year? After Christmas is over tell the in laws that you put a lot of effort into giving them framed photos and seeing them discarded on a spare room's floor gives you little encouragement to give them any future proffessional photos that cost more than snap shots. Have your hubby go and put pictures of your own child on the fridge. If the in laws question it tell them you just thought they'd like to be able to see the progress and growth of all of the children in the family at once. I'm not out to urge any fights wars or family fueds here. You got to do what's best for you. If you guys depend a lot on these relatives than a softer approach would be better. If this gathering is about the most of a relationship you have each year and if the in laws are adamant that your participation follows their agenda only then please reassess this routine. Think of what messages your daughter is being taught if she's witnessing her parents being put at the kids table and her own pictures on the floor year after year. Kids pick up on grand parent favoritism then blame themselves after a certain age. You don't have to spend sanity time and money on people who don't appreciate you. There are ways to keep family contact without a battle and I'm not advising anybody severe ties. You could offer to stop by for desert in the future so you don't have to spend all day around a non kid proof house. Invite the family to your place meet at a resturant. Rotate the holidays between your parents home on thankgiving and hubby's parents or your own venue the next thanksgiving. Use your kid's age as an excuse, " She's getting bigger now and we want to expose her to new experiences " {like being not with them every turkey day...} " We want to make our own memories as a family unit for dinner but we could stop by for dessert, the next day....etc " . Sending you my hugs and care. In laws and holidays would drive mother theresa to drink. Hugs. > > I really hate going to my father in-laws house for, well any get > together really. I mean -really- hate it. Not only does my > husband's Dad still treat him like the screw up teenager he used to > be but his whole family treats us as though we are just 'guests' not > family. I hate going over there so much, I dread it for days prior. > > So, as tradition, we went over to his Dad's house for Thanksgiving. > Once again, my husband, daughter, and I were sat in the kitchen with > the 'kids' while the rest of the family sat in the formal dining > room. Now, all of us cannot fit in the formal dining room so it > makes sense that we are all split up. However, I don't know why we > are always banished to the 'kids' table. To top all this off, his > Dad has NO CLUE about toddlers. He's got his toy room set up in his > office where my daughter can get into paperwork and pictures galore. > He has no clue about how easy it is for her to pull something down on > top of her head. He also has an open staircase that she could easily > fall down. So, when she's not confined in her highchair, and I > spend the ENTIRE time following her around making sure that she > doesn't get hurt or get into stuff. > > I also noticed today that his Dad has pictures of his girlfriend's > granddaughters on the fridge but none of . The most recent > picture he has out of her is her newborn picture and that's in the > computer room. WTF. Last Christmas, we spent a ton of money buying > formal family pictures and pictures of in really nice frames > for our parents. Guess where the ones we bought his Dad are? Laying > on the floor in the guest bedroom. He took pictues of her at her > birthday and over the summer. He could have stuck one of those on > his fridge. > > I need a drink. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 1, 2008 Report Share Posted December 1, 2008 These ideas sound like a lot of effort on 's part on people who show her little regard or interest in her or her children's lives. I say plan a nice dinner out on holiday's with your own little family. Oh, and no made up excuses are necessary. If you are formally invited you can politely decline stating you have other plans. L Sent from my Verizon BlackBerry Re: Why I Dread Going to My Inlaws - Just Venting I've dealt with inlaws from hell {now my ex in laws} that acted like their son had married a specie beneath farm animals and blow up sex dolls {ironically those items were a passtime for my ex's brother and favorite golden boy of my ex in laws btw}. It made a huge difference in my life when I stopped hoping they'd understand me and just plain put down my wheel and refused to be treated like a second class citizen {whether in my own home or theirs}. It was way less stressful for me to confront them head on than to spend another momment of my life being polite to people who weren't polite to anybody else. I literally felt like a weight had been taken off of me when I ignored my anxiety and confronted them. It was really a suprise for me to feel very empowered and good afterwards but it was a defining momment of my twenties that I never expected beforehand. I grew up seeing my mom give her own in laws 'dirty looks' {her and my sister's pouting tactic for stress management} being silent, resentful, and miserable all day, year after year when my grand parents would visit once a year. I refused to follow that path and have never regretted it in twenty years. Does your husband know how much this routine is hurting you? In the future and before the next holiday meal tell all adult family members who will be at the same gathering that you'd like to rotate turns for which adult sits in the kitchen so you {for once} get a chance to sit in the dining room. If they refuse than go and seat yourselves ahead of time at the grown up table? Or just plain refuse to sit at the kids table and tell them it's innappropriate for you as an adult to be relegated to the childrens corner every year? After Christmas is over tell the in laws that you put a lot of effort into giving them framed photos and seeing them discarded on a spare room's floor gives you little encouragement to give them any future proffessional photos that cost more than snap shots. Have your hubby go and put pictures of your own child on the fridge. If the in laws question it tell them you just thought they'd like to be able to see the progress and growth of all of the children in the family at once. I'm not out to urge any fights wars or family fueds here. You got to do what's best for you. If you guys depend a lot on these relatives than a softer approach would be better. If this gathering is about the most of a relationship you have each year and if the in laws are adamant that your participation follows their agenda only then please reassess this routine. Think of what messages your daughter is being taught if she's witnessing her parents being put at the kids table and her own pictures on the floor year after year. Kids pick up on grand parent favoritism then blame themselves after a certain age. You don't have to spend sanity time and money on people who don't appreciate you. There are ways to keep family contact without a battle and I'm not advising anybody severe ties. You could offer to stop by for desert in the future so you don't have to spend all day around a non kid proof house. Invite the family to your place meet at a resturant. Rotate the holidays between your parents home on thankgiving and hubby's parents or your own venue the next thanksgiving. Use your kid's age as an excuse, " She's getting bigger now and we want to expose her to new experiences " {like being not with them every turkey day...} " We want to make our own memories as a family unit for dinner but we could stop by for dessert, the next day....etc " . Sending you my hugs and care. In laws and holidays would drive mother theresa to drink. Hugs. > > I really hate going to my father in-laws house for, well any get > together really. I mean -really- hate it. Not only does my > husband's Dad still treat him like the screw up teenager he used to > be but his whole family treats us as though we are just 'guests' not > family. I hate going over there so much, I dread it for days prior. > > So, as tradition, we went over to his Dad's house for Thanksgiving. > Once again, my husband, daughter, and I were sat in the kitchen with > the 'kids' while the rest of the family sat in the formal dining > room. Now, all of us cannot fit in the formal dining room so it > makes sense that we are all split up. However, I don't know why we > are always banished to the 'kids' table. To top all this off, his > Dad has NO CLUE about toddlers. He's got his toy room set up in his > office where my daughter can get into paperwork and pictures galore. > He has no clue about how easy it is for her to pull something down on > top of her head. He also has an open staircase that she could easily > fall down. So, when she's not confined in her highchair, and I > spend the ENTIRE time following her around making sure that she > doesn't get hurt or get into stuff. > > I also noticed today that his Dad has pictures of his girlfriend's > granddaughters on the fridge but none of . The most recent > picture he has out of her is her newborn picture and that's in the > computer room. WTF. Last Christmas, we spent a ton of money buying > formal family pictures and pictures of in really nice frames > for our parents. Guess where the ones we bought his Dad are? Laying > on the floor in the guest bedroom. He took pictues of her at her > birthday and over the summer. He could have stuck one of those on > his fridge. > > I need a drink. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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