New Government Warning: Mad Bird Disease!

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New Government Warning: Mad Bird Disease!

Bird spongiform encephalopathy can wipe out millions!

The government announced today that while the avian flu scare is on the wane, a new threat has emerged from the combination of two recent ones. "We have found instances of bird flocks showing signs of bovine spongiform encephalopathy or BSE). BSE is also known as mad cow disease," explained an anonymous Centers For Disease Control and Prevention spokesperson, \ "birds have been feeding on droppings of infected cows and apparently the disease is transferring over to them when they eat the defective cells, or prions that cause the disorder." This new development of "mad bird disease", (bird spongiform encephalopathy) is potentially harmful to people who eat the infected birds. Public health officials have acknowledged that a vaccine against this type of disease is not possible. "Prions are not infectious or contagious, you pick it up only by eating infected animals." explained CDC spokesperson Ann Onkneemous, "However, plans are in the works to develop a vaccine that creates a strong aversion to the consumption of bird meat in humans." To met this new public hazard, the Bush administration has proposed the spending of an additional $8 billion for the research and manufacturing of a bird meat nausea vaccine (BMNV). White House spokesperson Norm DePlume said that while the danger to humans can be disasterous, he expressed satifaction that the President's quick and generous response caused a 2 point rise in public opinion polls in support of his administration.