Re: The Fearless Voice of the Autism Mom by Kim Stagliano

[Guest guest]

THANKS -- it would mean lot to me if you'd pop over to their site

and leave a comment -- help me get published in the future.

KIM

>

> Nice job, Mom Kim Stagliano

>

> http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kim-stagliano/the-fearless-voice-of-

the_b_32915.html

> 11.01.06

> The Fearless Voice of the Autism Mom

> READ MORE: Iraq, New York Times, W. Bush

>

> Bush should have appointed an autism mom to plan out the

strategy for the Iraq

> war. From this I know. I have three beautiful daughters with

autism - and have racked up

> over 243,300 cumulative hours in the autism world. I'm guessing

that's more experience

> than Rumsfeld had in executing wars.

> Unlike our Secretary of Defense, I knew instinctively, as both

mother and general of my

> own little autism army, that my first job was to keep my troops

safe.

>

> The autism mom must plan several moves ahead, just to get through

the day. A simple

> trip to the grocery store requires the preparation of a military

invasion. Hiding in every

> aisle lurks the potential for a meltdown. The lights are too

bright and emit a faint buzz,

> perceptible only to dogs and to kids with autism. The Koala Krisp

cereal has been moved

> from its usual shelf to an end cap, a blatant insult to my

children, who have memorized

> where the cereal is supposed to be, down to the exact aisle,

shelf, and section. I shop on

> high alert, intent on diffusing problems before they hit us, zig-

zagging through the

> minefield of melons, marshmallows and meat. One eye on the kids,

one eye on the door.

>

> What's the worst part of grocery shopping for an autism mom? The

clueless nitwits who

> assault you out of the blue with " the look. " The supermarket

snipers. If your own toddler

> has ever become unruly in a store, you've seen " the look. " Women

glancing sideways at

> you, whose nostrils flare as if sniffing a shoeful of manure,

forehead furrowed in disdain.

> Fortunately, my girls might not be able to read your expression.

But I can. Believe me lady,

> I can. Do you want me to roll up the New York Times so you can use

it to hit me across my

> bottom while you call me " Bad Mom, very Bad Mom " ?

>

> Guess what, Mrs. Mother of the Year? I realize that my 11-year-old

daughter is sucking

> her thumb. That's how she calms herself as she navigates the store

with me. Maybe you

> shove a cigarette into your mouth for the same reason? I don't

need a breaking news

> bulletin to know that my 10-year-old has told me that it's Tuesday

eight times in a row in

> a singsong voice that's just a bit too loud for proper society.

And yes, I'm aware that my

> 6-year-old looks a tad awkward in the cart, her legs now so long

that if I put her into

> rollerblades her feet would glide along the floor. God only gave

me two hands and I need

> both to corral my older girls so Miss Peanut stays in the cart

until I can no longer lift her

> up and over the handle.

>

> We Autism moms learn fast how to plan out every part of our day

while leaving ourselves

> wiggle room for the inevitable glitches that tip the proverbial

applecart right over. But the

> main reason Bush should have asked an autism mom to help

plan out the war in

> Iraq? We always have an exit strategy.

>

[Guest guest]

Fortunately for those of us who have children with autism, none of

those supermarkets snipers are armed with ak-47's or IEDs. It is

typically quite funny to put oneself in the place of public officials

and clearly know that a better job could be done by a monkey. Unlike

an autism mom the primary job of the secretary of defence/or other

military leader is not his troops safety it is victory within the

current objective. especially since subsequent objectives are often

not visible or determined at the time. I am quite frustrated with an

america that has become so fast food oriented that they cant

understand the time and manpower and dedication required for what is

going on in iraq. after world war II the united states occupied japan

for over 7 years before they were able to stand on their own. Japan

was a much more orderly and civilized nation than modern day iraq.

we have occupied iraq for a couple years now, helping them to train

an appropriate domestic police force and intelligence community. How

do we think that this would take less time than japan did. in iraq we

also encounter infiltrators from surrounding countries who want to

cause trouble another issue not encountered in 1950 japan. I use the

post wwII Japan illustration to point out the sheer idiocy of the

timetable of success that the iraq nay sayers are trying to hold up

as a bench mark of true victory. I certainly dont minimize the

issues we face as parents of autistic kids but please lets not make

them into more than they are either. I find i only experience

frustration with my daughter or the situations that arise around her

when I dont have the appropriate expectations, this is also the case

with politics and particularly war.

paul

[Guest guest]

Lovely Kim. Lovely. Heartbreaking, poignant and funny. I will post

over there on their site. Well done.

>

> Nice job, Mom Kim Stagliano

>

> http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kim-stagliano/the-fearless-voice-of-

the_b_32915.html

> 11.01.06

> The Fearless Voice of the Autism Mom

> READ MORE: Iraq, New York Times, W. Bush

>

> Bush should have appointed an autism mom to plan out the

strategy for the Iraq

> war. From this I know. I have three beautiful daughters with

autism - and have racked up

> over 243,300 cumulative hours in the autism world. I'm guessing

that's more experience

> than Rumsfeld had in executing wars.

> Unlike our Secretary of Defense, I knew instinctively, as both

mother and general of my

> own little autism army, that my first job was to keep my troops

safe.

>

> The autism mom must plan several moves ahead, just to get through

the day. A simple

> trip to the grocery store requires the preparation of a military

invasion. Hiding in every

> aisle lurks the potential for a meltdown. The lights are too bright

and emit a faint buzz,

> perceptible only to dogs and to kids with autism. The Koala Krisp

cereal has been moved

> from its usual shelf to an end cap, a blatant insult to my

children, who have memorized

> where the cereal is supposed to be, down to the exact aisle, shelf,

and section. I shop on

> high alert, intent on diffusing problems before they hit us, zig-

zagging through the

> minefield of melons, marshmallows and meat. One eye on the kids,

one eye on the door.

>

> What's the worst part of grocery shopping for an autism mom? The

clueless nitwits who

> assault you out of the blue with " the look. " The supermarket

snipers. If your own toddler

> has ever become unruly in a store, you've seen " the look. " Women

glancing sideways at

> you, whose nostrils flare as if sniffing a shoeful of manure,

forehead furrowed in disdain.

> Fortunately, my girls might not be able to read your expression.

But I can. Believe me lady,

> I can. Do you want me to roll up the New York Times so you can use

it to hit me across my

> bottom while you call me " Bad Mom, very Bad Mom " ?

>

> Guess what, Mrs. Mother of the Year? I realize that my 11-year-old

daughter is sucking

> her thumb. That's how she calms herself as she navigates the store

with me. Maybe you

> shove a cigarette into your mouth for the same reason? I don't need

a breaking news

> bulletin to know that my 10-year-old has told me that it's Tuesday

eight times in a row in

> a singsong voice that's just a bit too loud for proper society. And

yes, I'm aware that my

> 6-year-old looks a tad awkward in the cart, her legs now so long

that if I put her into

> rollerblades her feet would glide along the floor. God only gave me

two hands and I need

> both to corral my older girls so Miss Peanut stays in the cart

until I can no longer lift her

> up and over the handle.

>

> We Autism moms learn fast how to plan out every part of our day

while leaving ourselves

> wiggle room for the inevitable glitches that tip the proverbial

applecart right over. But the

> main reason Bush should have asked an autism mom to help

plan out the war in

> Iraq? We always have an exit strategy.

>

[Guest guest]

Whoa! You must think that I am a Kerry-like target. Not me. Now I

will state this as respectfully as I can – Read me very carefully

because your statement is very serious: I would not and did not

diminish the service of those who risk their lives for our country –

not remotely close to a thought that I would ever have. Your suggestion

that I have done so, or that Ms. Stagliano did so in her piece, or that

any of the comments made here are even close to criticizing the troops,

is out of line, sir.

To the extent the Huffington Post piece contained any commentary

regarding our policy in Iraq it was directed at President Bush,

Secretary Rumsfeld and our civilian leadership and their policies. The

rest is A-N-A-L-O-G-Y and employed a literary device to give some idea

of what it is to be a parent in a different kind of war, but never

" equated " the extreme risks and difficulties of being a combat soldier

at war with being a parent of a child with autism - and in no way

diminishes the service of our troops. I think you may have become

infected with the rhetoric of our current electoral campaign, and its

political technique of linguistic misdirection - and as a result

misconstrued statements about being a mom to children with autism -

and a little commentary on the Iraq policies of our civilian political

leadership, with nonexistent derogation of our fighting troops.

No one is belittling anything, especially not the service of our

soldiers in Iraq.

I agree with you that we should turn our attention to subjects that may

help our kids avoid dangerous medical interventions - seems like we

have common ground on that issue, so let's stick to that.

Bob

On Nov 1, 2006, at 5:07 PM, H. Beaulieu II wrote:

> I am sorry but I have to disagree. I believe that kim's analogy and

> some of these blithe comments diminish the service of those who

> actually risk their lives for YOU. I am a member of this list because

> I want to read interesting things to help our autistic community work

> toward not hurting any more kids with bad or dangerous medical

> procedures or protocols. I did not become one to have a parent

> make " cute " remarks that equate two very different issues. I concede

> that my analogy of japan, while not exactly on point (neither is

> vietnam by the way) was only to point out the sillyness of comparing

> parenting even the worst days with war.

>

> Dont belittle that which you have not experienced.

>

> that was my point

>

>

J. Krakow

Attorney At Law

2001 Marcus Avenue, Suite N125

Lake Success, New York 11042

(516) 354-3300

(646) 349-1771 (fax)

(212) 227-0600 (NYC telephone)

[Guest guest]

Being on the west coast I am always late getting a chance to put in

my 2 cents worth. But I have a unique ability to comment on this

topic as someone that has experienced both.

I look at it this way; there is still not a draft in the U.S.

Everyone there signed up, knowing the risks of a conflict just as I

did. No one asked my child is she wanted to sacrifice her health or

life for the cause.

When my sister's daughter died from a vaccine reaction, one very

rude and disgusting elderly doctor stood in front of my sister and

with absolutely no feeling or compassion whatsoever told my sister

while she was still holding the lifeless body of her precious

baby, " sometimes there are necessarily sacrificial soldiers in the

war on disease " . Now that is an insensitive analogy that made light

of the death of an innocent child, an unecessary tragedy. The old,

death from a so-called preventable childhood disease is a tragedy,

but the death of a child from the vaccines meant to prevent one of

those diseases is not.

One lesson learned from Vietnam is as a nation we will never ever

again attack the soldiers being put into an unpopular war, and this

time around it has been very clear from the staunchest anti-war

camps that they want to bring the troops home to save their lives,

because they value those lives. Any negatives are towards those in

that make decisions and give the orders, not those being ordered to

follow through on those decisions.

As a mother to an Autistic child, I constantly make analogies to my

time in the military. Where the job and the mission were always

clear, the enemy easy to identify, tons of people around you, all in

the same boat, all understand what we are uniformly going through.

With Autism you never know what to expect from day to day or even

hour to hour,we are often alone, no one understands what we are

going through and the enemies are not always clear, often pretending

to be our friends and hiding behind false good intentions.

Since the U.S. Government loves to declare war on everything and

anything, it's time they declare a war on autism, they have already

declared war on us parents.

Kendra