Anxious parents see many dangers

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OK, now were anxious, not desperate. This same article has popped up a few times in the last month. Obviously, someone or some group wants it out there again. http://www.bradenton.com/mld/bradenton/living/health/14809824.htm Posted on Thu, Jun. 15, 2006 Anxious parents see many dangersHERALD STAFF AND WIRE REPORTS Television news often makes the world look bleak. An attempted kidnapping of two young girls. The remains of a 10-year-old found in the woods. Teenagers dead from a car accident, and another still recovering. It's enough to make Jill McNiesh turn off the TV altogether. "I almost can't watch anymore," said McNiesh, the mother of a toddler and a 3-year old. "I get so paranoid." Maybe the world is more dangerous these days than it was decades ago. Or maybe the 24-hour shine of the media spotlight just makes it seem that way. Whatever the source, experts say, parents are increasingly anxious about possible threats to their children - everything from the cow's milk they fear could cause long-term health problems to the kidnapper lurking around the corner. "A lot of the time, it's this big, vague feeling that kids are just not safe," said Mcs,

associate director of Parent Trust for Washington Children, a nonprofit organization focused on family support. McNiesh is worried most about kidnapping. Her friends are more concerned about the health effects of food. No Goldfish crackers for their toddlers - they eat only organic, from raw broccoli to red bell peppers to tofu. Here in Bradenton, parents often call Resource Connection for Kids if they're uneasy about their child's development or unsure if a child care center is right for them, said Carol Hunt, executive director of the program. Resource Connection for Kids fits families with local child care centers and provides additional family resources. Hunt said parents who call the program typically ask questions like "How do we know that we're getting quality care?" and "Where can we see centers' licensing reports?" When the issue is choosing a safe child care center, Resource Connection provides

parents with information on agencies. It also gives them tools to use, like a checklist of questions to ask, Hunt said, and encourages them to visit agencies a number of times before committing to one. Hunt has two teenagers, and even though they're no longer young children, she's still wary of their environment. She's raised them so that they're aware of their surroundings but not scared of everything around them. "You have to have a balance because you don't want to have fearful children," Hunt said. Hardy and Corl recalled the early days of motherhood, when they were so focused on protecting their children from germs. Corl's toddler crawled on the mall floor as they talked. "The first child, I would never let him crawl on the ground like that," said Hardy, 32, smiling. "He eats dirt now," laughed Corl, 37, as her son headed toward a potted plant. But as their children age, the

mothers have another fear: online predators. They avoid television programs like "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" and "Law and Order: Special Victims Unit," where children are occasionally shown sexually abused and left for dead. At his Seattle pediatric practice, Dr. Buccholz mostly hears worry over vaccinations. The concern is something called thimerosal, a preservative with mercury, that until recently was contained in most children's vaccinations. Some people believe thimerosal is linked to autism in children. It's a belief not supported by the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. But the parents of Buccholz's patients are well-educated and Web savvy, he said, and the Net has fed some of their fears. Most parents decide to vaccinate their children after talking to him. For the small number who remain concerned, Buccholz urges them to reconsider. In other countries, child deaths are common,

a tragic fact of life, said Rae Simpson, program director for parenting education and research at Massachusetts Institute of Technology. But advances in public health and law enforcement have helped America cut down the number of child deaths. At the same time, Simpson said, that progress has created an unrealistic hope among parents that they can protect their children from any threat. Some parents struggle to walk the fine line between supervising children and stifling them. Stories abound of parents staying up the entire night, staring at their newborn, terrified he will die from SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome). Or parents of teenagers who rarely allow them to socialize unsupervised. Joslin, author of "Positive Parenting, A to Z," a guide for parents, said some adults overwhelm children with questions and rules, trying to protect them from possible threats, from bullies to drugs to sexual predators. In the end, Joslin said, that can do more damage than good. It can create in children a debilitating kind of fear - that threats lurk around every corner. "Children need to feel they have more control over their world," said Joslin, who coaches parents at Pediatric Associates in Bellevue, Wash. Parents have always worried about their children's welfare. But the anxiety has gotten more acute over the decades, said Simpson. She traced the phenomenon back to the 1970s, when there was an explosion of information about child abuse. In the past, she said, society saw children as strong and robust. But the rising awareness of abuse helped create the image of children as vulnerable and fragile, in need of protection from so many threats. What followed was an avalanche of information and guidance, from self-help books to nightly news segments, feeding on parents' fear. "It has taken a lot to create this

level of anxiety," said Simpson. "It's going to take a lot to ease it." Still, some anxiety can be a good thing. It keeps parents watchful, said Mcs. It motivates parents to make plans, the kind of plans a child can follow when faced with danger. For a toddler, it may be what to say when a stranger approaches. For an older child, it may be how to handle a street crossing with a crowd of friends. For a teenager, it may be what to do, and whom to call, if they find themselves drunk and unable to drive home. But once those plans are made, and protective measures are put in place, experts say, parents must learn to let go. The message Mcs sends out: Be vigilant, but don't get obsessed. "Use your anxiety, right up until the point that you've got all your ducks lined up in a row," Mcs said. "Then dump it." Ultimately, the best protection against anxiety, experts say, is preparation. Buy the

bike helmet. Make the plan for parking-lot behavior. Arrange close supervision for your child in your absence. "The more tools we give our children, the better parents feel," said Joslin. As he sat watching his 4-year-old daughter on the indoor playground at the mall, Russ s, 46, said he pays attention to the media reports and does what he can to protect his children. But as for real anxiety, he shrugged. s prefers to go on common sense and instinct, getting support from family and friends. "You watch them, and guide them through what you can," said s, as his daughter clambered down a piece of playground equipment. "We'll all figure it out." National facts about child deaths Child deaths Children 1-4 years old in 2002, the most recent data available: Number of deaths: 4,858 Deaths per 100,000 population: 31.2 Leading causes of death: Accidents: 1,641 Congenital malformations: 530 Cancer: 402 Assault homicide: 423 Children 5-14 years old: Number of deaths: 7,150 Deaths per 100,000 population: 17.4 Leading causes of death: Accidents: 2,718 Cancer: 1,072 Congenital anomalies: 417 Teenagers 15-19 years old: Number of deaths: 13,812 Deaths per 100,000 population: 67.8 Leading causes of death: Accidents: 7,137 Homicide: 1,892 Suicide: 1,513 Source: National Center for Health Statistics, all data from 2002 Resources Tips on how to keep kids safe from kidnappings: National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, www.missingkids.com/en_US/publications/NC60.pdf Information on child health, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, www.cdc.gov/od/spotlight/nwhw/kids/abc.htm List of the leading causes of injury among children: www.cdc.gov/ncipc/factsheets/children.htm __________________________________________________