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CHILD UP FOR ADOPTION

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OKAY I AM SERIOUS...ashton is on her last leg...her feet are in the pond and

the ice has cracked... got home at one am, me that is, made a run to the all

night walmart to collect my sanity off the sales racks..... ashton was still

up, but laying quietly in her bed watchign movie, i went to sleep.. woke up

to the sound of running water, she has painted or spilled paint on her new

white carpet.... red, yellow, green,blue, all the bright-hard as hell to get

out colors...she was using a wet towel and smearing it.....i was pissed

beyond redemption...i took her movie, threw a towel over the damn paint,

smacked her on the butt and told her to go to sleep..YEAH RIGHT.....not not

not!!!! dh left early for airport for peurto rico, cant understand why i am

so bitchy in wee hours of am.....well because i covered the paint with towel

so he wouldnt go nuts and lose it too.... i finally was so pissed at five or

five thirty i gave her her clonidine and sent her to bed.....finally fell

asleep at 600 or 630 and slept until tenor ten thirty.....i told my five year

old to be good or he had a life sentence to time out...... i finally took a

nap.... he chilled out to scooby doo..... i am so tired of this stuff, the

singing, the 'huhuhuh hmmmmmmmm, num num " noises all night..... jesus have

mercy on my soul, because this momma aint having very good thoughts

lately!!!!! to be single again, my hubby can have custody of the kids and i

will live in coed dorm room somewhere and watch nice young lean 19 yr olds

sprint outta the shower..... pay 300 a month child support and have a life

FOR ME!!! no more dr appts, mediation, legal briefs, laundry except for one,

no more baking crzy bread, squishing pills, wiping butts and noses,

cleaninghouse and all of the other shit that goes along with the

notsorespected title " mother " ./....sorry for venting, but i am

tired....school itits are calling, wanting to test, ashton is in no mood for

strangers, the autistic traits are really coming out and there isnt crapt i

can do, but sit, watch, and go nuts....i wil be the one who needs a special

room with styrofoam walls and a nice white jacket that ties in

bakc................=leah-who is losing it very fastly along the

way........take care,

ps gail sorry you had to hear it twice,,,,,it will double your laughs

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Re: CHILD UP FOR ADOPTION

>

>

>>Ohhhhh, I so sympathize.....

>>

>>I yelled at this morning because he was stacking everything in the

>house into a nice (for him) tower. I yelled " NO AUTISM TODAY!! " I just

>don't think I can take all the autism stuff today.....DH is oblivious and

>wondering why I'm on the computer and leaving the kids to him. I keep

>wanting to tell . " That will be the last thought you have before

waking

>up in the emergency room! "

>>

>>I am so glad we can vent on this list, with no fear that someone will take

>us so serious as to call authorities on us!

>>

>>I'll make a deal with you: you hang in, and so will I, and sometime next

>week we'll both go looking in that alley for our sanity.....

>>

>>Loriann

>>

>>

>>

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