Re: what do I do????????

[Guest guest]

Well, I haven't gone through the obsessed phase yet. grabs himself in

public, but I don't think he's discovered it that way. His is more like a girl

twirling her hair, something he does absent-mindedly. , on the other hand;

as soon as that diaper's off, he's going for it. And he's bigger than his

brother, I think.....

Sorry I can't help much, except dreading it with you. I told DH he could handle

that part with . I had him for the years when he started exhibiting the

autistic behaviors.

Loriann from Hawaii

Wife to Dewight

Mom to , 10 years old, DS-ASD, ADHD, ODD

And , 15 months old

[Guest guest]

Gail,

stopped all the self stimming and touching and humping after I put him

on Risperdal. He was like that too. Welcome to the age of Puberty. Can you

believe it starts so early????I too was mortified, especially when his last

school had to be so discriptive in everything he did and acted like it was MY

fault he's like this.

[Guest guest]

At 06:21 PM 9/20/00 -0000, you wrote:

>Well, I haven't gone through the obsessed phase yet. grabs himself

in public, but I don't think he's discovered it that way. His is more like

a girl twirling her hair, something he does absent-mindedly. , on the

other hand; as soon as that diaper's off, he's going for it. And he's

bigger than his brother, I think.....

>

We always though that little boys were born with " magnets " in their hands

leading them there....

Seriously, we tell Andy to get his hands out of his pants--though a lot of

the time, he's not playing with " it, " he's just running his hands under his

now elastic waisted pants. He's sort of napoleonic that way.

Maybe the urge will decrease with time, since there's no real satisfaction

to it? Not much help for today though.

Sorry!

j

[Guest guest]

went through something like that...at about 4, I think... Just

rubbing on everything..drove me a little bonkers (a little embarrassing to

have him straddle the arms of the couch). It was short-lived! He will take

both hands and rub up and down very quickly when he is very happy/excited

about something...but doesn't linger. I think it is combined with his

'rocking'... Now little brother!!!!! non-ds, that's another story. I guess

it's just a 'boy' thing.

Ann

[Guest guest]

Donna,

Were you able to find a substitute behavior for Maddie for when she wants to

escape? That would seem the logical step to me instead of directing her to her

room. I've always been told in order to stop an undesirable behavior you have

to first find out what purpose it serves (distraction from an undesirable act -

escape - for attention or for the joy of the act itself) and then see if you can

first find a substitute for the action, or if it's the act itself then you find

an appropriate place and time for it.

Loriann from Hawaii

Wife to Dewight

Mom to , 10 years old, DS-ASD, ADHD, ODD

And , 15 months old

[Guest guest]

Man Gail, I am not ready for this either Mark only touches his while in

the bath.

Jeannie

[Guest guest]

Thanks everyone for your responses. LOL I see hope in that, like

and both being obsessed with it at four years old, maybe Seth will out

grow it too! (every part of my body crossed)! LOL If Seth becomes, as Jill

calls it *gibletitus maximus* LOL Paxil, here we come! Joan, I love

that....magnets in their hands!! LOL I'm really trying to keep my sense of

humor with this, but I find myself not spending as much time with him because

that's all he does and I can't even play the finger games he loved so much

without him constantly trying to put my hands on his privates or him rubbing

on me. LOL someone E-mailed me and said it was like having two husbands

around! LOL Jill, hope Tanners ears get better soon. (((((hugs))))) to

everyone and thanks.

Gail

Gail, Mom to; Seth-4, jo-8, Becky-9, -23, Jen-24, Grandma to

Errick-4

and wife to -my hero

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/21/00 12:09:52 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

smilinggail@... writes:

<< I try to redirect, but he keeps turning around to grab my hand to put on

it.

Geesh...I'm not ready for this! LOL I thought this would be a few years

down the road. Seth's mentality is at about a 9 month old level. He really

doesn't understand. Is he going through a phase? I have dealt with

daughters for 25 years.....are all boys like this? LOL Oh, I want a little

girl! This is getting very embarrassing...ewwww!

Gail >>

LOLOLOL Gail!!!!! Oop...sorry!!! LOLOLOLOL ....uh hem (gathering myself

here)

Well, being Mom to both sexes, believe it or not, boys do NOT have the corner

on this!!! Alison (at 8) can still be caught enjoying herself with the water

coming from the faucet (I tell her that's fine, so long as she's alone and no

one else is ever allowed to touch her). The boys have never been as obvious

about it and my oldest daughter, if she ever did it, was always the epitome

of discreetness!! Now let's talk about Maddie!!!! LOL Well, I have to say

Gail, that she has definitely gotten much better. She still does it, but

it's almost always when she's tired now. Which is totally fine with me

because she should be able to do that in her bedroom. But it was a HUGE

problem for a long time with us (I'm sure you remember previous posts from

me). She used to do it to escape environments that scared her.....like

school and family parties and church. LOL The behavior psych we saw at KKI

was no help. He told us to take her to her room so that she will understand

that this is where she is to do it......ROTFLOL. First of all, it's like

soap-eating. She HAD to do it!!!!! PLUS, as I told him, she did it so much

and she really wanted to be away from people and alone anyway, what good

would sending her to her room do. I saw that as a step backwards in our

efforts to socialize her. Dh used to be totally fine with it, but I really

didn't like when she did it in public, and would pick her up and leave.

It will ease up with time, I'm sure. I sure hope the time goes quick hon!!!!

Donna

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/21/00 12:28:58 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

hsmyangel@... writes:

<< Well, I haven't gone through the obsessed phase yet. grabs himself

in public, but I don't think he's discovered it that way. His is more like a

girl twirling her hair, something he does absent-mindedly. , on the

other hand; as soon as that diaper's off, he's going for it. And he's bigger

than his brother, I think..... >>

Well, dh is one of five brothers and they are business partners (well, dh has

gone off on his own for quite some time,but is still involved in the family

business). Let Me Tell YOU!!!!!! You should SEE Sunday meetings after

dinner at one of our houses. Ever hear of the men sitting around and smoking

cigars!! Well, these guys sit around, talk business, and

........................UGH!!!!!! There's that going on, hair twirling,

rocking......It's an array of madness in one room!!!!!! LOLOLOLOLOL

Donna

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/21/00 2:16:44 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

hsmyangel@... writes:

<< Were you able to find a substitute behavior for Maddie for when she wants

to escape? That would seem the logical step to me instead of directing her

to her room. I've always been told in order to stop an undesirable behavior

you have to first find out what purpose it serves (distraction from an

undesirable act - escape - for attention or for the joy of the act itself)

and then see if you can first find a substitute for the action, or if it's

the act itself then you find an appropriate place and time for it. >>

You know Loriann, we found that she could easily be distracted from ANY

behavior that was undesirable......................IF IF IF we caught her in

time. If she just begins to masturbate, she's easily deterred with something

else. If she is eating soap and we catch her right away, she's easily

distracted. However, if she's gotten into the moment (anywhere from 2 to 5

minutes), we're in trouble. Now, if we take soap away after we find her

hiding with it, she'll scream and pitch a fit. If we pick her up to get her

to stop masturbating, she'll pitch a fit. It's like she HAS to finish. But

her fits aren't anything like they used to be and we can usually calm her

quickly. And I have to say, we've been very very diligent about catching her

in time. And as I've said, it doesn't bother me if she does it to help

herself get to sleep. But for about 2 years, it was BAD!!!!

Donna

[Guest guest]

Gail not much consolation, is the same and has been for a longtime,he is

13 now and seems to understand this is not on in public and never gets it out

but will try to have a sneaky rub on legs,count your blessings ryans daddy

says is built like a porn star,I would nt know Pat

[Guest guest]

We explained to Ian that it was rude to do that in public, that if he wanted

to touch himself the two places that was acceptable were the bathroom and

his bedroom. Sometimes he puts his hand down his pants just to get me

going, but I don't take the bait. I simply give him the " are you kidding? "

look that appears to have been working, and he stops -- always with a laugh.

To get him to understand at first, though, I had to physically pull his hand

up out of his pants.

CK,

Mom to Ian (2/89),

(9/90),

and Rose (6/94)

[Guest guest]

You gals make me laugh!! JJ does not have this behaqvior except he does

stretch 'it' when being changed. But my oldest daughter did this a lot at

about 2. Over a year I had her into the dr. 4 or 5 times for bladder

infections. Every time I asked about worms. Every time they replied that

she would be rubbing in the back not the front. Finally found a dr. who

would test. Her pin worms that should have been the size of a

pinhead----well they were 1 1/2 inches long!!! So if you live where the pin

worms and such live(we lived in Norfolk VA) it is a consideration. But of

course it could be that other stuff.

, who's dd would kill me if she knew I told that story

& Garry, parents of (10 ds), (8 ds/g-tube), JJ (6

ds/autism/celiac), (6 ds), and Esther (3 ds). All adopted.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/21/00 3:13:12 PM Eastern Daylight Time, Tricphil@...

writes:

<< Gail not much consolation, is the same and has been for a longtime,he

is

13 now and seems to understand this is not on in public and never gets it

out

but will try to have a sneaky rub on legs,count your blessings ryans daddy

says is built like a porn star,I would nt know Pat >>

LOL Pat, maybe not much consolation, but you sure made me get my daily dose

of laughter! LOL Thanks for sharing! LOL

Gail

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/21/00 6:05:39 PM Eastern Daylight Time, duffey48@...

writes:

<< But for about 2 years, it was BAD!!!!

Donna >>

2 YEARS?!?!?!?!?! NO WAY, NO HOW!!!! I REFUSE

LOL Tell me that was a typing error!!!!! LOL She did it for 2 years? :-(

:-( :-( Hope I can do E-mail from the psyche center! LOL I thought I

could handle a lot, but 2 years of this stuff would put me over the edge!

Gail

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/21/00 6:09:35 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

will.obey@... writes:

<< Gail,

I really feel for you! Once Josiah started this, and that was 2 years

ago and he's only almost nine, it has been an ongoing battle! I hate it!

I correct him all the time, but, he just doesn't care. Nothing I do or

say to him redirects him. Anything he goes through, with me, is still

worth him touching himself. Drives me bananas. With no exaggeration,

I'm sure I've corrected, at times, 50 times a day. It has slowed down

*some*, but, not like I would want it to.

Sorry, I am *not* a help. Maybe you'll find out something that will help

and you can let *me* know!

Lesa >>

Lesa,

How do you deal with it? Seth is at it every waking minute. For a little 37

pound runt, he sure is strong. I try to take his hands away, and he either

fights me to keep them there or pushes my hands against him. It's impossible

to redirect Seth too. Sad to say, but there really is comfort in knowing I'm

not alone in this. I'm really sorry for anyone going through it, but I'm

glad I'm not alone here.

Gail

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/21/00 6:13:55 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

Scherb@... writes:

<< You gals make me laugh!! JJ does not have this behaqvior except he does

stretch 'it' when being changed. But my oldest daughter did this a lot at

about 2. Over a year I had her into the dr. 4 or 5 times for bladder

infections. Every time I asked about worms. Every time they replied that

she would be rubbing in the back not the front. Finally found a dr. who

would test. Her pin worms that should have been the size of a

pinhead----well they were 1 1/2 inches long!!! So if you live where the pin

worms and such live(we lived in Norfolk VA) it is a consideration. But of

course it could be that other stuff.

, who's dd would kill me if she knew I told that story

& Garry, parents of (10 ds), (8 ds/g-tube), JJ (6

ds/autism/celiac), (6 ds), and Esther (3 ds). All adopted.

>>

,

Pin worms!? What even made you ask about worms? That would never enter my

mind. Gosh, I may ask for him to be checked. Thanks

Gail

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/21/00 10:02:00 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

smilinggail@... writes:

<< 2 YEARS?!?!?!?!?! NO WAY, NO HOW!!!! I REFUSE

LOL Tell me that was a typing error!!!!! LOL She did it for 2 years? :-(

:-( :-( Hope I can do E-mail from the psyche center! LOL I thought I

could handle a lot, but 2 years of this stuff would put me over the edge!

Gail >>

LOL Gail!! Well, as I said, it's gotten much better. And we did find a way

to redirect Maddie, IF as I said to Loriann, we caught her in time. Maddie

LOVES rough housing, swinging, that kind of thing. Now when she does it,

it's pretty much bedtime, so I give her hugs and kisses and let her go to

town in her own bed.

Donna

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/22/00 2:04:27 PM Eastern Daylight Time, duffey48@...

writes:

<< LOL Gail!! Well, as I said, it's gotten much better. And we did find a

way

to redirect Maddie, IF as I said to Loriann, we caught her in time. Maddie

LOVES rough housing, swinging, that kind of thing. Now when she does it,

it's pretty much bedtime, so I give her hugs and kisses and let her go to

town in her own bed.

Donna

>>

Donna, Seth started right out this morning *going to town* so I got out the

hair brush to do his hair and his hands were so busy trying to keep the brush

off his head, he lost all thoughts of humping! LOL Why didn't I think of

that before? LOL I'm going to keep a hair brush available every foot or two

in the house! LOL

Gail