Re: Off Subjec~My Enemy ~Denial

[Guest guest]

I was accused of being in denial once. By my own mother. She loves being able to tell everyone who asks about me just how bad of shape I'm in! She says since they ask about me it means that they care. My answer; it's none of their business. Tell them I'm good and change the subject. My life is hard enough without everyone I meet in the grocery store wanting to cry with me!

I'm not in denial. At least not now. I may have been when I could still walk, even with a walker. Once I came to a complete standstill, there was no denying anything anymore. One can't deny this wheelchair! Today, I've struggled just to get on and off of the toilet. No denying that!

No doubt, pride preceeds every downfall. Is it pride that won't let me give up? I choose to believe that it's the hope of getting better. Hebrews 1:11 says that 'Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.' I've clung to that for so long now, but on days like today, it's mighty hard! It's been one of those days when I have raged at any power that may be! Should I swallow my pride or keep hoping? It's definately being between a rock and a hard spot!

Oh well! What's one to do? Muddle through somehow.

Marcie