RE: Looking in the mirror(sorry so long)

[Guest guest]

Isn't it odd/amazing (not in a good way) how our subconscious holds on to hurtful/embarassing/awkward (I don't know the right word) things from even way back in our childhood. I guess the word would be "impact". That someone else's words held that much impact for so long. Sometimes it's a good thing, depending on what's said/done. Sometimes it's not a good thing. I have childhood moments like that. Sometimes I've grown to expect the memories based on what I'm doing or what my surroundings are. Sometimes they reach up and grab me totally by surprise, but when I think long and hard enough about "where did this thought come from?", I'll usually remember quite vividly what set it off.

My problem is the opposite. Because of several rounds of steroids when I was going through puberty due to a bad case of mononucleosis which caused me to blow up like a balloon, AND the negative reaction to my weight from my father and my mother (our family runs on the skinny side), I to this day look in the mirror and see overweight no matter what. It made a mark on my psyche. It impacted me negatively.

I don't know if this has helped at all. You probably think I've lost my mind -- LOL. I just wanted to share with you that it's the same issue whether the weight is on the high side or the low side. Words (from others in our past) are powerful things. Sometimes I think words are harder to work through than physical abuse, and I've experienced both, sorry to say. That's why I try so hard to never hurt anyone with my words in anger or a moment of stress/ not thinking rationally, because we wear the wounds like a tattoo except on the inside of our hearts when someone hurts us with words.

Just my thoughts. I hope I didn't offend in anyway. It just really got me to thinking about how strong we all must be to even be here and to have not given up a long time ago. AND, I wanted you to know I understand. It happens to me at times, probably more than I even acknowledge.

Love,

Christy :-)

Looking in the mirror

Hi All, I have a question that will sound kind of strange but bear with me please. Has anybody looked in the mirror and seen themselves as skinny even tho the scales reads that you are way past the stage of being skinny. I have been doing that from the time I was in my teens. I know that it started when I was about 6 and a lady that was a friend of my parents told me that the only way I would be pretty was if I gained some weight. I remember it so clearly my sister and I had just gotten new dresses and quite happy to show them off. From that day forward I tried to gain weight but when I would look in the mirror I would see myself as that skinny little blonde haired girl. She had even told me that I needed to have black hair like my sister. She had told me this the sunday before Christmas just as we were going to go to the Christmas play at church. I never told my folks none of them. I stood up with my sister and sang our special. Now that I have finally realized that I am over weight how do I fight these pictures that are in my head and lose all this unhealthy weight. Sorry this so long. Y'll have a great and Blessed Christmas may

[Guest guest]

Thanks Christy that helped a lot. Now I just have to get the skinny out of my head and the fat off of my behinny may

From: Christy <2zeesmommy@...>Subject: RE: Looking in the mirror(sorry so long) Date: Monday, December 22, 2008, 2:30 PM

Isn't it odd/amazing (not in a good way) how our subconscious holds on to hurtful/embarassing /awkward (I don't know the right word) things from even way back in our childhood. I guess the word would be "impact". That someone else's words held that much impact for so long. Sometimes it's a good thing, depending on what's said/done. Sometimes it's not a good thing. I have childhood moments like that. Sometimes I've grown to expect the memories based on what I'm doing or what my surroundings are. Sometimes they reach up and grab me totally by surprise, but when I think long and hard enough about "where did this thought come from?", I'll usually remember quite vividly what set it off.

My problem is the opposite. Because of several rounds of steroids when I was going through puberty due to a bad case of mononucleosis which caused me to blow up like a balloon, AND the negative reaction to my weight from my father and my mother (our family runs on the skinny side), I to this day look in the mirror and see overweight no matter what. It made a mark on my psyche. It impacted me negatively.

I don't know if this has helped at all. You probably think I've lost my mind -- LOL. I just wanted to share with you that it's the same issue whether the weight is on the high side or the low side. Words (from others in our past) are powerful things. Sometimes I think words are harder to work through than physical abuse, and I've experienced both, sorry to say. That's why I try so hard to never hurt anyone with my words in anger or a moment of stress/ not thinking rationally, because we wear the wounds like a tattoo except on the inside of our hearts when someone hurts us with words.

Just my thoughts. I hope I didn't offend in anyway. It just really got me to thinking about how strong we all must be to even be here and to have not given up a long time ago. AND, I wanted you to know I understand. It happens to me at times, probably more than I even acknowledge.

Love,

Christy :-)

Looking in the mirror

Hi All, I have a question that will sound kind of strange but bear with me please. Has anybody looked in the mirror and seen themselves as skinny even tho the scales reads that you are way past the stage of being skinny. I have been doing that from the time I was in my teens. I know that it started when I was about 6 and a lady that was a friend of my parents told me that the only way I would be pretty was if I gained some weight. I remember it so clearly my sister and I had just gotten new dresses and quite happy to show them off. From that day forward I tried to gain weight but when I would look in the mirror I would see myself as that skinny little blonde haired girl. She had even told me that I needed to have black hair like my sister. She had told me this the sunday before Christmas just as we were going to go to the Christmas play at church. I never told my folks none of them. I

stood up with my sister and sang our special. Now that I have finally realized that I am over weight how do I fight these pictures that are in my head and lose all this unhealthy weight. Sorry this so long. Y'll have a great and Blessed Christmas may