Wondering

[Guest guest]

Yeah, I think my kids do it at school and when they are trying to go to sleep

they chew holes in the sheets. At first I thought BOY, these sheets are so cheap

they are falling apart. Then I noticed both boys' sheets were like that and slow

me made the connection between the shirts holes and sheets holes.

Toni

Re: ( ) Wondering

My son is a shirt chewer... he chews on the sleeves and the neck!! It drives

me crazy!! Holes in his shirts... it can get expensive. I don't know how to stop

him, cause he usually does it when he isn't at home... like a nervous thing.

Nice to know he's not the only one.

[

[Guest guest]

Isn't that funny! Well, not really... my son is 14, and he still does it. He

says it's cause he is bored... don't know.... he always says he is bored... but

he never wants to do anything... what is a mom supposed to do?? Tami

Re: ( ) Wondering

My son is a shirt chewer... he chews on the sleeves and the neck!! It drives

me crazy!! Holes in his shirts... it can get expensive. I don't know how to stop

him, cause he usually does it when he isn't at home... like a nervous thing.

Nice to know he's not the only one.

[

[Guest guest]

Mine are 18 (were on Oct 19) and they are bored with EVERYTHING but computers.

Say we never go anywhere, then we plan a weekend trip and they back out.When you

figure out what a mom is supposed to do , something else gets thrown at ya!

Toni

Re: ( ) Wondering

My son is a shirt chewer... he chews on the sleeves and the neck!! It drives

me crazy!! Holes in his shirts... it can get expensive. I don't know how to stop

him, cause he usually does it when he isn't at home... like a nervous thing.

Nice to know he's not the only one.

[

[Guest guest]

I just got a call from the school today, they said, your son wouldn't do his

work, stating he didn't have a pencil, and we told him that there was one behind

him, and he said, that's nice. Refused to ask for one or turn around and get

it. I said, why did you do that? And he said, they knew I didn't have a

pencil, they should have just given it to me. I am tired of people playing

games with me!! Then they asked him to write his report, and he said, NO, so

she remembered he has a hard time with handwriting, so she told him to go use

the computer to write it, and he went into the other room and sat at the desk,

and did nothing. She said, why aren't you doing your report, and he said, " I

can't log in " and she said, " Would you like me to help you log in? " And he

refused to answer her... I asked him why did you do that? And he said, I am

tired of people asking me stupid questions... The behavior specialist that

called me, she said, I expect that you are going to do something about this

behavior. I asked, what would you like me to do? She said, " Tell him that

school is important!! He told me that he just wants to be at home!! " I tell him

that every day, I ground him almost every day... Today, I told him he cannot

play on the computer, his only joy in life, until that report is done. Well, he

did the report, then he played for about an hour and then he fell asleep with

his head on my lap. Today has just been frustrating... highschool is hard for

him... Tami

Re: ( ) Wondering

My son is a shirt chewer... he chews on the sleeves and the neck!! It drives

me crazy!! Holes in his shirts... it can get expensive. I don't know how to stop

him, cause he usually does it when he isn't at home... like a nervous thing.

Nice to know he's not the only one.

[

[Guest guest]

You're such a good mum - keep up the hard work honey, you're doing fabulously.

lots of love

xxx

Re: ( ) Wondering

My son is a shirt chewer... he chews on the sleeves and the neck!! It drives

me crazy!! Holes in his shirts... it can get expensive. I don't know how to stop

him, cause he usually does it when he isn't at home... like a nervous thing.

Nice to know he's not the only one.

[

[Guest guest]

Thanks... you are kind... but sometimes I wonder... I am thinking about home

schooling him... just don't want to screw up his education... or make him even

more socially regressed... AHHH! take care!

Re: ( ) Wondering

My son is a shirt chewer... he chews on the sleeves and the neck!! It drives

me crazy!! Holes in his shirts... it can get expensive. I don't know how to stop

him, cause he usually does it when he isn't at home... like a nervous thing.

Nice to know he's not the only one.

[

[Guest guest]

Have you thought about enrolling him in an online

highschool program like Keystone and letting him learn

at home?

Feel better,

a

--- Tami Ober <nyx@...> wrote:

> I just got a call from the school today, they said,

> your son wouldn't do his work, stating he didn't

> have a pencil, and we told him that there was one

> behind him, and he said, that's nice. Refused to

> ask for one or turn around and get it. I said, why

> did you do that? And he said, they knew I didn't

> have a pencil, they should have just given it to me.

> I am tired of people playing games with me!! Then

> they asked him to write his report, and he said, NO,

> so she remembered he has a hard time with

> handwriting, so she told him to go use the computer

> to write it, and he went into the other room and sat

> at the desk, and did nothing. She said, why aren't

> you doing your report, and he said, " I can't log in "

> and she said, " Would you like me to help you log

> in? " And he refused to answer her... I asked him why

> did you do that? And he said, I am tired of people

> asking me stupid questions... The behavior

> specialist that called me, she said, I expect that

> you are going to do something about this behavior.

> I asked, what would you like me to do? She said,

> " Tell him that school is important!! He told me

> that he just wants to be at home!! " I tell him that

> every day, I ground him almost every day... Today,

> I told him he cannot play on the computer, his only

> joy in life, until that report is done. Well, he

> did the report, then he played for about an hour and

> then he fell asleep with his head on my lap. Today

> has just been frustrating... highschool is hard for

> him... Tami

> Re: ( ) Wondering

>

> My son is a shirt chewer... he chews on the

> sleeves and the neck!! It drives me crazy!! Holes in

> his shirts... it can get expensive. I don't know how

> to stop him, cause he usually does it when he isn't

> at home... like a nervous thing. Nice to know he's

> not the only one.

>

> [

>

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> removed]

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>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I have thought of that... do you think it is a good program??

Re: ( ) Wondering

>

> My son is a shirt chewer... he chews on the

> sleeves and the neck!! It drives me crazy!! Holes in

> his shirts... it can get expensive. I don't know how

> to stop him, cause he usually does it when he isn't

> at home... like a nervous thing. Nice to know he's

> not the only one.

>

> [

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

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__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Toni,

I can never be sure, but did I post to you once before. My son is

coming up this week on 19 years of age and his passion is computer,

computer, computer..........:>)

I actually make plans for him to get out of the house during week-

ends (hike nearby parks) and we also get some respite help once a

week in which a nice, young college man comes visits . I also

now have him involved in three social groups (two are young adult

groups and another is older teens) to hopefully bloom some social

skills and bring in a friend.

He also goes to a community college (only six hours) and can you

guess.......yep two computer classes :>)

He wants friends and I keep working towards that. It is a passion

for me now to help him grow socially as a young man. I am trying

harder now than when he was in high school (thank heaven I don't

have to struggle with high school homework anymore). This asperger

life really turns a parent into the ultimate advocate (I guess that

is true for all Autism/Neurologically different or challenged loved

ones for that matter)

Mark

>

> Mine are 18 (were on Oct 19) and they are bored with EVERYTHING

but computers. Say we never go anywhere, then we plan a weekend trip

and they back out.When you figure out what a mom is supposed to do ,

something else gets thrown at ya!

> Toni

> Re: ( ) Wondering

>

> My son is a shirt chewer... he chews on the sleeves and the

neck!! It drives me crazy!! Holes in his shirts... it can get

expensive. I don't know how to stop him, cause he usually does it

when he isn't at home... like a nervous thing. Nice to know he's not

the only one.

>

> [

>

>

[Guest guest]

My kids are still young and so we're still on very

junior curriculum but because most homeschooling

curricula stops at grade 7 I hear about alot of people

enrolling their kids in Keystone - that's how I heard

about it.

There are homeschool review sites you can go to where

people write about their experiences with each program

- if you google it I'm sure something will come up:)

Keystone is one of a few but the one most talked

about.

a

--- Tami Ober <nyx@...> wrote:

> I have thought of that... do you think it is a good

> program??

> Re: ( ) Wondering

> >

> > My son is a shirt chewer... he chews on the

> > sleeves and the neck!! It drives me crazy!!

> Holes in

> > his shirts... it can get expensive. I don't know

> how

> > to stop him, cause he usually does it when he

> isn't

> > at home... like a nervous thing. Nice to know

> he's

> > not the only one.

> >

> > [

> >

> > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > removed]

> >

> > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > removed]

> >

> > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > removed]

> >

> >

> >

> >

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> > removed]

> >

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>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Mark,

You know when I read your post regarding your son

being into computers I thought about how like minded

computer people get together... have you ever thought

about hunting down a lan party?

They can be excellent fun, hundreds of people get

together hook up their computers and just play, people

of all ages can go, including parents.

Also - Xbox live is fun, you can put on a headset,

join a team and speak and play with kids from all

around the world.

The computer is an awesome thing to be into for a guy

of 19 - currently the gaming industry makes more than

the movie industry every year now and it's basically

the future of entertainment.

My DH, who is very aspie LOL works frequently in the

video game industry and they pay him a king's ransom.

Best,

a

--- mark colditz <markdebc@...> wrote:

> Toni,

>

> I can never be sure, but did I post to you once

> before. My son is

> coming up this week on 19 years of age and his

> passion is computer,

> computer, computer..........:>)

>

> I actually make plans for him to get out of the

> house during week-

> ends (hike nearby parks) and we also get some

> respite help once a

> week in which a nice, young college man comes visits

> . I also

> now have him involved in three social groups (two

> are young adult

> groups and another is older teens) to hopefully

> bloom some social

> skills and bring in a friend.

>

> He also goes to a community college (only six hours)

> and can you

> guess.......yep two computer classes :>)

>

> He wants friends and I keep working towards that.

> It is a passion

> for me now to help him grow socially as a young man.

> I am trying

> harder now than when he was in high school (thank

> heaven I don't

> have to struggle with high school homework anymore).

> This asperger

> life really turns a parent into the ultimate

> advocate (I guess that

> is true for all Autism/Neurologically different or

> challenged loved

> ones for that matter)

>

> Mark

>

>

>

>

> >

> > Mine are 18 (were on Oct 19) and they are bored

> with EVERYTHING

> but computers. Say we never go anywhere, then we

> plan a weekend trip

> and they back out.When you figure out what a mom is

> supposed to do ,

> something else gets thrown at ya!

> > Toni

> > Re: ( ) Wondering

> >

> > My son is a shirt chewer... he chews on the

> sleeves and the

> neck!! It drives me crazy!! Holes in his shirts...

> it can get

> expensive. I don't know how to stop him, cause he

> usually does it

> when he isn't at home... like a nervous thing. Nice

> to know he's not

> the only one.

> >

> > [

> >

> > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

> >

> > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

> >

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi a,

Your post is very encouraging. I am hoping that it will be the same

for . I bought him the best computer I could afford from Dell.

I just pour the money into that skill hoping that it will pay off.

At the same time I stay very committed and focused on his social

skills. I have read Winner and am convinced that for

the next few years I am going to drive my son crazy (just joking

folks) with getting him to work on social skills. I believe if I can

get him to work on keeping a conversation going and small talk that

could turn his incredible art and computer talents into

wonderful products.

One thing that I find so amazing is that an asperger child does not

look at the face and eyes. as a little boy would not look at

me when I talked. When I think back, I now see how it has affected

his ability to communicate with peers. Autism is truly amazing in

how it affects one socially. I am just so glad that people like

Winner, Dr. Tony Attwood, Dr. Myles,

Moreno, Meyer, Dr. Gerhardt and so many experts have

shown families like mine a way to treat and support our ASD loved

ones.

Thank you for sharing.

Mark

> > >

> > > Mine are 18 (were on Oct 19) and they are bored

> > with EVERYTHING

> > but computers. Say we never go anywhere, then we

> > plan a weekend trip

> > and they back out.When you figure out what a mom is

> > supposed to do ,

> > something else gets thrown at ya!

> > > Toni

> > > Re: ( ) Wondering

> > >

> > > My son is a shirt chewer... he chews on the

> > sleeves and the

> > neck!! It drives me crazy!! Holes in his shirts...

> > it can get

> > expensive. I don't know how to stop him, cause he

> > usually does it

> > when he isn't at home... like a nervous thing. Nice

> > to know he's not

> > the only one.

> > >

> > > [

> > >

> > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > removed]

> > >

> > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > removed]

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

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> > removed]

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

I wish there was more support out there for caregivers. My 14-year

old son sounds just like yours. He's always bored (except for video

and computer games which are his passion), he hates school, has no

friends . . . every time I try to get him involved with something

(various clubs, sports, etc.) it lasts a little while and then he's

bored with that. It is so draining. It breaks my heart to see him

so frustrated with the world. He is well aware that he has

Asperger's and I try to get him to read books written by other

Aspie's, but that doesn't work either.

Something's got to give.

Dawn

>

> I just got a call from the school today, they said, your son

wouldn't do his work, stating he didn't have a pencil, and we told

him that there was one behind him, and he said, that's nice. Refused

to ask for one or turn around and get it. I said, why did you do

that? And he said, they knew I didn't have a pencil, they should

have just given it to me. I am tired of people playing games with

me!! Then they asked him to write his report, and he said, NO, so

she remembered he has a hard time with handwriting, so she told him

to go use the computer to write it, and he went into the other room

and sat at the desk, and did nothing. She said, why aren't you doing

your report, and he said, " I can't log in " and she said, " Would you

like me to help you log in? " And he refused to answer her... I asked

him why did you do that? And he said, I am tired of people asking me

stupid questions... The behavior specialist that called me, she

said, I expect that you are going to do something about this

behavior. I asked, what would you like me to do? She said, " Tell

him that school is important!! He told me that he just wants to be

at home!! " I tell him that every day, I ground him almost every

day... Today, I told him he cannot play on the computer, his only

joy in life, until that report is done. Well, he did the report,

then he played for about an hour and then he fell asleep with his

head on my lap. Today has just been frustrating... highschool is

hard for him... Tami

> Re: ( ) Wondering

>

> My son is a shirt chewer... he chews on the sleeves and the

neck!! It drives me crazy!! Holes in his shirts... it can get

expensive. I don't know how to stop him, cause he usually does it

when he isn't at home... like a nervous thing. Nice to know he's not

the only one.

>

> [

>

>

[Guest guest]

Boy, he sounds like my n. Last year (which he failed) a teacher that he

had NO respect for told him to get out his book and paper and pencil and he sat

there and ignored her and did nothing.My boys hate school. I got a letter from

the school yesterday (private) saying n had already missed 13 days of

school and Noah 9.Yesterday when they came home they went straight to bed and

stayed there until about 2 am and they were up for the day. I took the computer

away Mon for not going to school again and they will just go to bed. And for

those that will say get their behinds out of bed, I try and nothing works and I

am unable to lift two 6 " 2' boys/men out of bed. I had heard highschool was

easier sometimes for our kids but not true in our case. I am so fearful of the

future. If they can't go to school 5 days a week how are they going to survive a

job? And where can you get help with adults that can't go to school and can't

drive and can't get a job etc? I am just riding a rollercoaster that I can't

seem to get off of. I get SO resentful, because I do everything for them and

then B calls me a f'ing moron Mon morning. I honestly wouldn't mind them living

here for a while but I can't tolerate the disrespect, dishonesty and them

thinking they aren't supposed to do anything around here except go to school

(when they feel like it).I had foot surgery last Tues. , my dh is out of town

for 9 days and I asked them to take the garbage downstairs and they wouldn't. I

asked them to clean up all the cotton that the dogs tore up around them while

they were sitting on the floor watching tv and they replied " no, they're your

dogs, you clean it up " ! .I honestly don't know where to turn to get them some

life skills. Sorry for the ramble, I just am having a hard time. I know ( I

believe) said don't worry about the future, but if I don't worry about it/DO

SOMETHING I think they would stay in the basement and play computer games til my

dh and I die... and THAT scares me to death. My boys are intelligent , they just

don't care about grades, school,jobs... Anybody know where a kid can get a job

playing computer games for a living???

Toni

Re: ( ) Wondering

My son is a shirt chewer... he chews on the sleeves and the neck!! It drives

me crazy!! Holes in his shirts... it can get expensive. I don't know how to stop

him, cause he usually does it when he isn't at home... like a nervous thing.

Nice to know he's not the only one.

[

[Guest guest]

Ours are huge black and yellow ones that will pick the dogs up and take them

into the yard for me.... after chewing all the sheets and shirts... HEHE I'm

losing it finally!!

Toni

Re: ( ) Wondering

Well, at least it doesn't look like you have HUGE MOTHS living in all your

closets and drawers

Toni

-

>

>

>

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I hear they're making professional gaming into a

televised sport for 2007 - I said to my DH - well at

least our youngest will have a career when he grows

up;)

I hope things get better for you soon:)

a

--- Toni <kbtoni@...> wrote:

> Boy, he sounds like my n. Last year (which he

> failed) a teacher that he had NO respect for told

> him to get out his book and paper and pencil and he

> sat there and ignored her and did nothing.My boys

> hate school. I got a letter from the school

> yesterday (private) saying n had already

> missed 13 days of school and Noah 9.Yesterday when

> they came home they went straight to bed and stayed

> there until about 2 am and they were up for the day.

> I took the computer away Mon for not going to school

> again and they will just go to bed. And for those

> that will say get their behinds out of bed, I try

> and nothing works and I am unable to lift two 6 " 2'

> boys/men out of bed. I had heard highschool was

> easier sometimes for our kids but not true in our

> case. I am so fearful of the future. If they can't

> go to school 5 days a week how are they going to

> survive a job? And where can you get help with

> adults that can't go to school and can't drive and

> can't get a job etc? I am just riding a

> rollercoaster that I can't seem to get off of. I get

> SO resentful, because I do everything for them and

> then B calls me a f'ing moron Mon morning. I

> honestly wouldn't mind them living here for a while

> but I can't tolerate the disrespect, dishonesty and

> them thinking they aren't supposed to do anything

> around here except go to school (when they feel like

> it).I had foot surgery last Tues. , my dh is out of

> town for 9 days and I asked them to take the garbage

> downstairs and they wouldn't. I asked them to clean

> up all the cotton that the dogs tore up around them

> while they were sitting on the floor watching tv and

> they replied " no, they're your dogs, you clean it

> up " ! .I honestly don't know where to turn to get

> them some life skills. Sorry for the ramble, I just

> am having a hard time. I know ( I believe) said

> don't worry about the future, but if I don't worry

> about it/DO SOMETHING I think they would stay in the

> basement and play computer games til my dh and I

> die... and THAT scares me to death. My boys are

> intelligent , they just don't care about grades,

> school,jobs... Anybody know where a kid can get a

> job playing computer games for a living???

> Toni

> Re: ( ) Wondering

>

> My son is a shirt chewer... he chews on the

> sleeves and the neck!! It drives me crazy!! Holes in

> his shirts... it can get expensive. I don't know how

> to stop him, cause he usually does it when he isn't

> at home... like a nervous thing. Nice to know he's

> not the only one.

>

> [

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

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>

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> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Toni,

How old are your boys and in what state do you live? I heard about a

boarding school kind of on the college level that takes in mainly boys with

Asperger's/Autism and lets them go to school and teaches them life skills

etc etc on the east coast. I wanted them to take me but I'm a 27 yrs old

Asperger's Autistic female and I think the cut off age is 21 or 23. I could

get the link for you if you're interested. I know it may seem harsh to send

them away but it's only temporary and as a 27 yrs old woman Dx with

Asperger's who can't drive, is currently under-employed and living with my

parents with little self discipline and few life skills looking into this

school before the cut off age might be the kindest thing you can do for

them. If you ever need to chat with someone who can see your sons Point Of

View I'm here as well.

Nikki

P.S. My mom recently had knee surgery and I found that I needed very

specific oral instructions from her to help out the household i.e. " Wash

those dishes within the hour. " in order to help while she was laid up

otherwise I didn't " get " the message.

Re: ( ) Wondering

Boy, he sounds like my n. Last year (which he failed) a teacher that

he had NO respect for told him to get out his book and paper and pencil and

he sat there and ignored her and did nothing.My boys hate school. I got a

letter from the school yesterday (private) saying n had already missed

13 days of school and Noah 9.Yesterday when they came home they went

straight to bed and stayed there until about 2 am and they were up for the

day. I took the computer away Mon for not going to school again and they

will just go to bed. And for those that will say get their behinds out of

bed, I try and nothing works and I am unable to lift two 6 " 2' boys/men out

of bed. I had heard highschool was easier sometimes for our kids but not

true in our case. I am so fearful of the future. If they can't go to school

5 days a week how are they going to survive a job? And where can you get

help with adults that can't go to school and can't drive and can't get a job

etc? I am just riding a rollercoaster that I can't seem to get off of. I get

SO resentful, because I do everything for them and then B calls me a f'ing

moron Mon morning. I honestly wouldn't mind them living here for a while but

I can't tolerate the disrespect, dishonesty and them thinking they aren't

supposed to do anything around here except go to school (when they feel like

it).I had foot surgery last Tues. , my dh is out of town for 9 days and I

asked them to take the garbage downstairs and they wouldn't. I asked them to

clean up all the cotton that the dogs tore up around them while they were

sitting on the floor watching tv and they replied " no, they're your dogs,

you clean it up " ! .I honestly don't know where to turn to get them some life

skills. Sorry for the ramble, I just am having a hard time. I know ( I

believe) said don't worry about the future, but if I don't worry about it/DO

SOMETHING I think they would stay in the basement and play computer games

til my dh and I die... and THAT scares me to death. My boys are intelligent

, they just don't care about grades, school,jobs... Anybody know where a kid

can get a job playing computer games for a living???

Toni

Re: ( ) Wondering

My son is a shirt chewer... he chews on the sleeves and the neck!! It

drives me crazy!! Holes in his shirts... it can get expensive. I don't know

how to stop him, cause he usually does it when he isn't at home... like a

nervous thing. Nice to know he's not the only one.

[

[Guest guest]

My son didn't want to read the books by aspies either... My son sounds alot like

yours. Computers, video games, that's his love, well, besides me. I called the

place I worked to see about getting respite care while I am at work even, and

they never called me back!! Nice, huh? And they deal with lots of kids with

developmental disorders... I guess only if you don't work there. If I go out, I

try to get him to go with me, but half of the time he says no. Then, if I am

gone a bit longer than he thinks I should be, he calls my cell phone about 20

times. Which is an improvement over him calling the poilce a year ago! That

was fun. I tried calling him like 10 times, and he wouldn't answer the phone,

then he finally answered the phone when the police were there, and I got to talk

to them. My son goes out of his way sometimes to offend people. Last year, in

8th grade, the school had issues with him writing a report in which he depicted

Hitler as a great person, which he did to upset them. I was mortified, tho...

that was awful. He hasn't done anything like that this year... but they have

informed us that if he misses more than 6 days of the school year, excused or

not, he will fail 9th grade no matter what his grades are. Which, for a kid

with Asperger's is totally unreasonable. I had to keep him home 3 thursdays in

a row because I had to work 7 am to 6 pm in Auburn, which is an hour drive, and

I had no way to get him to school or get him home and they refused to put him on

a bus, then said to me, that my job was no excuse for him missing school. Then,

he broke his glasses, and i had to take him to the eye doctor... he can't see

without them, so what's the point of sending him? I did that last year, and all

the school did was complain to me that he refused to do anything because he

couldn't see. On top of that, he was sick with a fever a few weeks ago, and I

kept him home. So that is 5 already, and he is having a route canal on November

3rd, which he will miss school for, so that means he fails 9th grade??? How

rediculous! I may have to homeschool him. I have 3 and 1/2 days off a week...

I don't know if that is enough time to homeschool him...AHHHH!!!

Re: ( ) Wondering

>

> My son is a shirt chewer... he chews on the sleeves and the

neck!! It drives me crazy!! Holes in his shirts... it can get

expensive. I don't know how to stop him, cause he usually does it

when he isn't at home... like a nervous thing. Nice to know he's not

the only one.

>

> [

>

>

[Guest guest]

I went and looked at their website, they are rather expensive... I guess if you

are middle class, it's not that bad, but I am a single mom making 9/hr. He gets

ssi, but I have to use that to help buy food clothes, laundry, allowance...

You have to put 600 down and pay 200 a month for 10 months!! YIKES!! I wish I

knew how to afford it... if I up my hours at work, I will lose what little

benefits we get now. (His healthcare, for one) It would be nice if my ex had

ever paid a dime of child support in his life.... but oh, well. Thanks for the

tip, it looks like a great school, maybe I can figure out a way to afford it...

like to stop eating! lol Tami

Re: ( ) Wondering

> >

> > My son is a shirt chewer... he chews on the

> > sleeves and the neck!! It drives me crazy!!

> Holes in

> > his shirts... it can get expensive. I don't know

> how

> > to stop him, cause he usually does it when he

> isn't

> > at home... like a nervous thing. Nice to know

> he's

> > not the only one.

> >

> > [

> >

> > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > removed]

> >

> > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > removed]

> >

> > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > removed]

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > removed]

> >

> >

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Lol, I know what you mean... I have to use guilt to get my 6'1 " , 210 lb, 14 yo

baby to take out the trash. He has been getting better. I take the cords to

his beloved computer and video games when he is grounded. He makes threatening

noises towards me, but he will not touch me. He used to throw things, but I

told him next time I will call the cops, because he will not intimidate me in my

own home. He stopped. He doesn't lie to me, tho. Never has. sometimes he

sees things differently than most everyone else does, thinks people are picking

on him when they aren't or thinks people are out to get him, or hate him just

because they say certain words... etc. But for the most part, he is respectful

to me... just keeps saying he " forgets " to do his chores.... even though I left

him a note in huge letters right on the computer screen. I always give him an

opportunity to earn things back. I have learned that if I just take it away and

don't give him an opportunity to redeem himself, that makes his behavior much

worse. It may seem like I am not teaching him anything, but to me, I think it

teaches him that it's not the end of the world if you forget something, but you

can't just not do it, and when you do do it, you get to do the thing you want to

do right after. It's hard because I work 12 hour shifts on the weekends, and I

usually leave him a note saying feed the dog, put the dog out, take out the

trash, and feed your little animals. If I come home and it isn't done, I unplug

the computer and make him do it all, then I plug it back in. Whatever you do,

don't let them intimidate you!! PLEASE!! It's your house, if they refuse to do

something you request, TAKE THEIR CORDS TIL IT " S DONE!! If they threaten you,

tell them you have a right to call the police. That's what happens in the real

world. Take control of your house, it is YOUR house!!! If you told them if

they miss school, they lose the right to play on their games, and they miss

school, take those cords and don't give them back til they go to school the next

day. You will be SHOCKED how fast they start getting their butts to school. I

PROMISE YOU!!! HUGS!!! Tami

Re: ( ) Wondering

My son is a shirt chewer... he chews on the sleeves and the neck!! It drives

me crazy!! Holes in his shirts... it can get expensive. I don't know how to stop

him, cause he usually does it when he isn't at home... like a nervous thing.

Nice to know he's not the only one.

[

[Guest guest]

This place is near us and is WONDERFUL!!!!

The Gow School - It is for boys only, so unfortunately Nikki is out

on 2 fronts, but it may be helpful to others, including Toni.

http://www.gow.org/

>

> Toni,

>

> How old are your boys and in what state do you live? I heard about

a

> boarding school kind of on the college level that takes in mainly

boys with

> Asperger's/Autism and lets them go to school and teaches them life

skills

> etc etc on the east coast. I wanted them to take me but I'm a 27

yrs old

> Asperger's Autistic female and I think the cut off age is 21 or

23. I could

> get the link for you if you're interested. I know it may seem

harsh to send

> them away but it's only temporary and as a 27 yrs old woman Dx with

> Asperger's who can't drive, is currently under-employed and living

with my

> parents with little self discipline and few life skills looking

into this

> school before the cut off age might be the kindest thing you can

do for

> them. If you ever need to chat with someone who can see your sons

Point Of

> View I'm here as well.

>

> Nikki

>

> P.S. My mom recently had knee surgery and I found that I needed

very

> specific oral instructions from her to help out the household

i.e. " Wash

> those dishes within the hour. " in order to help while she was laid

up

> otherwise I didn't " get " the message.

> Re: ( ) Wondering

>

>

> Boy, he sounds like my n. Last year (which he failed) a

teacher that

> he had NO respect for told him to get out his book and paper and

pencil and

> he sat there and ignored her and did nothing.My boys hate school.

I got a

> letter from the school yesterday (private) saying n had

already missed

> 13 days of school and Noah 9.Yesterday when they came home they

went

> straight to bed and stayed there until about 2 am and they were up

for the

> day. I took the computer away Mon for not going to school again

and they

> will just go to bed. And for those that will say get their behinds

out of

> bed, I try and nothing works and I am unable to lift two 6 " 2'

boys/men out

> of bed. I had heard highschool was easier sometimes for our kids

but not

> true in our case. I am so fearful of the future. If they can't go

to school

> 5 days a week how are they going to survive a job? And where can

you get

> help with adults that can't go to school and can't drive and can't

get a job

> etc? I am just riding a rollercoaster that I can't seem to get off

of. I get

> SO resentful, because I do everything for them and then B calls me

a f'ing

> moron Mon morning. I honestly wouldn't mind them living here for a

while but

> I can't tolerate the disrespect, dishonesty and them thinking they

aren't

> supposed to do anything around here except go to school (when they

feel like

> it).I had foot surgery last Tues. , my dh is out of town for 9

days and I

> asked them to take the garbage downstairs and they wouldn't. I

asked them to

> clean up all the cotton that the dogs tore up around them while

they were

> sitting on the floor watching tv and they replied " no, they're

your dogs,

> you clean it up " ! .I honestly don't know where to turn to get them

some life

> skills. Sorry for the ramble, I just am having a hard time. I know

( I

> believe) said don't worry about the future, but if I don't worry

about it/DO

> SOMETHING I think they would stay in the basement and play

computer games

> til my dh and I die... and THAT scares me to death. My boys are

intelligent

> , they just don't care about grades, school,jobs... Anybody know

where a kid

> can get a job playing computer games for a living???

> Toni

> Re: ( ) Wondering

>

> My son is a shirt chewer... he chews on the sleeves and the

neck!! It

> drives me crazy!! Holes in his shirts... it can get expensive. I

don't know

> how to stop him, cause he usually does it when he isn't at home...

like a

> nervous thing. Nice to know he's not the only one.

>

> [

>

>

[Guest guest]

Damn, I had no idea that it cost that much! That is

shocking.

I'm in CA and if you homeschool your child here you

can sign up for local school courses but homeschool at

the same time (it's like a distance education option

but in the burbs). All of the books are provided by

the school district for free, along with monitoring

and testing. I didn't take the option because I was

already set in my ways homeschooling but it's there.

My best advice would be to go to one of the larger

homeschool sites and have a look around for options,

if you're still considering it - because believe me

there are more people homeschooling on a shoestring

than the other way around.

The HSLDA (homeschool legal defense fund) hslda.org

might be a place to start - I know that they have some

kind of fund which can help homeschoolers financially,

not sure how it works though.

BTW although HSLDA is useful, for legal matters etc,

there is a joining fee and they are christians with a

capital C.

Good luck with your search,

a

--- Tami Ober <nyx@...> wrote:

> I went and looked at their website, they are rather

> expensive... I guess if you are middle class, it's

> not that bad, but I am a single mom making 9/hr. He

> gets ssi, but I have to use that to help buy food

> clothes, laundry, allowance... You have to put 600

> down and pay 200 a month for 10 months!! YIKES!! I

> wish I knew how to afford it... if I up my hours at

> work, I will lose what little benefits we get now.

> (His healthcare, for one) It would be nice if my ex

> had ever paid a dime of child support in his

> life.... but oh, well. Thanks for the tip, it looks

> like a great school, maybe I can figure out a way to

> afford it... like to stop eating! lol Tami

> Re: ( ) Wondering

> > >

> > > My son is a shirt chewer... he chews on the

> > > sleeves and the neck!! It drives me crazy!!

> > Holes in

> > > his shirts... it can get expensive. I don't

> know

> > how

> > > to stop him, cause he usually does it when he

> > isn't

> > > at home... like a nervous thing. Nice to know

> > he's

> > > not the only one.

> > >

> > > [

>

=== message truncated ===

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

My husband most likely has Asperger's, although I only recently

discovered this. He was a computer programmer until recently and

worked long hours. He would miss meals because he was so into

programming. Then he would come home and get on the internet. Even

today he is always sitting at the computer. Computer jobs do not

require much social skills or professionalism. He wore jeans and a

shirt to work with long hair and a beard. He did not interact with

clients and only had to deal with co-workers which was still not

always good. He is very intelligent and loves to mix music when he

is not surfing the internet or listening to music. He has friends

but they are mostly like him. He does not make very good eye

contact and does not have the best coping skills. He was laid off 5

years ago and had to make a job change. He now brew beer and has

the same work situation as before regarding social engagement. I

think there are a lot of careers that are good for people with AS.

For our children, we are encouraging computers and music because

both of them seem to have a natural talent and interest. This goes

against what the pyschologist said for my daughter with autism. We

address social skills but also believe in helping our children

develop their talents.

Jen

> > > >

> > > > Mine are 18 (were on Oct 19) and they are bored

> > > with EVERYTHING

> > > but computers. Say we never go anywhere, then we

> > > plan a weekend trip

> > > and they back out.When you figure out what a mom is

> > > supposed to do ,

> > > something else gets thrown at ya!

> > > > Toni

> > > > Re: ( ) Wondering

> > > >

> > > > My son is a shirt chewer... he chews on the

> > > sleeves and the

> > > neck!! It drives me crazy!! Holes in his shirts...

> > > it can get

> > > expensive. I don't know how to stop him, cause he

> > > usually does it

> > > when he isn't at home... like a nervous thing. Nice

> > > to know he's not

> > > the only one.

> > > >

> > > > [

> > > >

> > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > removed]

> > > >

> > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > removed]

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > removed]

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> > __________________________________________________

> >

[Guest guest]

Again, I agree wholeheartedly with this. Both my DH

and I work in entertainment, much of it digital, and

never before in my life have I seen so many Aspies in

one career environment!

a

--- jennifer_thorson <jennifer_thorson@...>

wrote:

> My husband most likely has Asperger's, although I

> only recently

> discovered this. He was a computer programmer until

> recently and

> worked long hours. He would miss meals because he

> was so into

> programming. Then he would come home and get on the

> internet. Even

> today he is always sitting at the computer.

> Computer jobs do not

> require much social skills or professionalism. He

> wore jeans and a

> shirt to work with long hair and a beard. He did

> not interact with

> clients and only had to deal with co-workers which

> was still not

> always good. He is very intelligent and loves to

> mix music when he

> is not surfing the internet or listening to music.

> He has friends

> but they are mostly like him. He does not make very

> good eye

> contact and does not have the best coping skills.

> He was laid off 5

> years ago and had to make a job change. He now brew

> beer and has

> the same work situation as before regarding social

> engagement. I

> think there are a lot of careers that are good for

> people with AS.

> For our children, we are encouraging computers and

> music because

> both of them seem to have a natural talent and

> interest. This goes

> against what the pyschologist said for my daughter

> with autism. We

> address social skills but also believe in helping

> our children

> develop their talents.

>

> Jen

>

>

> > > > >

> > > > > Mine are 18 (were on Oct 19) and they are

> bored

>

=== message truncated ===

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

My son is just like this! I'm so glad you wrote about your son's response as to

why he didn't turn around and get the pencil, ect. My son says, " I don't know "

when I ask him why he didn't ask for help (like to log in, etc.) or why he did

absoulutly nothing when he knew there was a pencil behind him. It's always, " I

don't know " when I try to ask him about certain behaviors. I'll have to keep

your son's answers in mind when these behaviors occur. That is a perfectly

reasonable answer for an AS child that makes sense to me!

Tami Ober <nyx@...> wrote: I just got a call from the

school today, they said, your son wouldn't do his work, stating he didn't have a

pencil, and we told him that there was one behind him, and he said, that's nice.

Refused to ask for one or turn around and get it. I said, why did you do that?

And he said, they knew I didn't have a pencil, they should have just given it to

me. I am tired of people playing games with me!! Then they asked him to write

his report, and he said, NO, so she remembered he has a hard time with

handwriting, so she told him to go use the computer to write it, and he went

into the other room and sat at the desk, and did nothing. She said, why aren't

you doing your report, and he said, " I can't log in " and she said, " Would you

like me to help you log in? " And he refused to answer her... I asked him why did

you do that? And he said, I am tired of people asking me stupid questions... The

behavior specialist that called me, she said,

I expect that you are going to do something about this behavior. I asked, what

would you like me to do? She said, " Tell him that school is important!! He told

me that he just wants to be at home!! " I tell him that every day, I ground him

almost every day... Today, I told him he cannot play on the computer, his only

joy in life, until that report is done. Well, he did the report, then he played

for about an hour and then he fell asleep with his head on my lap. Today has

just been frustrating... highschool is hard for him... Tami

Re: ( ) Wondering

My son is a shirt chewer... he chews on the sleeves and the neck!! It drives me

crazy!! Holes in his shirts... it can get expensive. I don't know how to stop

him, cause he usually does it when he isn't at home... like a nervous thing.

Nice to know he's not the only one.

[