Re: Coping with RA and depression

January 18, 2003

Faye,

I know exactly what you mean. When I was Dx'd with epilepsy, my mom

understood her being a nurse and all, but my brothers and sisters

pretty much turned their backs on me. That was when I was 17.

Having just recently been Dx'd with RA, I have found that even my

teenage sons(I include 's 2 in this) are supportive and

helpful.They know, even at 15, 14, and 13 years old that Mom has her

limits now and try to help as much as they can. has FM so he

knows about pain and doesn't let me push my limits.

The 2 cats are devoted to me as is the dog, following me everywhere

and when I have a flare up, the cats sleep on the bed beside me.

Rhett(my best friend) has even offered to get a second mortgage on

the house so he can buy some property and a single wide to put on it

so that I can start some sort of independant living to help boost my

self-esteem a little.

I hope to make new friends here as well and if anybody wants to chat

sometime, I am wolflady_1957 on and have MSN messenger

(trouble_44@...) and AIM(LadyWolfie43)

Rose

January 21, 2003

I am brand new to this group. I starting searching last night for

groups of people with RA. I am 28 years old and have been diagnosed

with RA for over 8 years. I am having some success with Methotrexate

and NSAID's. I am reluctant to try newer drugs, ie. Enbrel, because

I fear long term effects. I also don't want to damage my chances

(and I do mean a slim chance) of ever having a baby. I fear some of

these newer drugs will have an adverse effect on a not yet conceived

fetus. My doctor understands my reluctance but supports my decision

since I am doing better on my current regimine.

What brought me to you are the postings on depression with RA. I

thought I was the only one suffering. Apparently, I 'm not. I have

been extremely depressed. I don't EVER want to get up in the morning

because I know how much it will hurt. I am in pain constantly and I

don't remember what life is like without pain.

I feel depressed because my young body is failing me. I can't easily

get dressed, take a shower, walk up or down stairs, reach up to grab

a plate or a cup from a cabinet. I am angry that I have this disease

and I don't want to feel like this.

I have met a few people with RA but they didn't seem to be as bad

off as me or they were mush worse then me and I was feeling like my

RA is nothing and I should brush it off. I can't brush it off. It is

something that effects my every move.

I, like many of you, take comfort in my pets. I have 3 small dogs

whom I adore. They bring smiles to my face just thinking about them.

But there are days when not even their cute little black noses will

make me smile.

What do you all do to cope with the anger, frustration, self-pity,

etc...? How can you not cry when you can't carry a gallon of milk

into the house or open a jar of pickles? Are their drugs, hobbies,

meditation that will help? I've tried Prozac, no luck. Anything else?

-

(My girls' website is www.geocities.com/dhunt74)

January 23, 2003

Hi ,

sad to hear you are in such pain as well as suffering the awful

depression..You are not alone and we all know your RA is not

something that can be shrugged off as just a few aches and pains..you

sound like your RA is much more advanced than mine and I have extreme

pain daily, i can't even imagine the pain you must be in...

as for the depression: this is how I deal with it..

first of all my pets do keep me going because they need taking care

of and I made a promise to them when they were born that they would

never be neglected or abandoned by me no matter what...I was in an

orphanage from the time I was 3 to 8 yrs old and I know what it's

like to be abandoned. I think a lot of my medical probs also stem

from the years of abuse there...

secondly, I walk every day to keep my moods from getting too dark.

(some people may not be able to walk so maybe they can do whatever it

takes to make them feel better) THe walking helps, but it's hard on

the back but great for keeping my emotions together...I can be a

total wreck at times..waking up crying is a regular thing for me,

also hiding from people because i don't want them to know how really

bad it is at times...I'm anxious all the time..when i think about

ways to end the pain, I stop and think...OK, THIS IS THE DEPRESSION

TALKING NOT ME, and i talk myself back to reality..I've only shared

this with the kind people on the list because they know what it's

like to be suffering this awful pain.

I try to eat right and not put on weight as putting on weight adds to

my depression and pain.

I keep in touch with my family on a regular basis.. I have twin

girls, age 28, a son 30, two grandchildren, sisters and brothers who

live close by.

I do volunteer work twice a week also..

I don't take any meds for my condition except naproxen for when the

swellings keep me from moving. I used to take ty 3 but found they

just made my migraines worse and also made me feel tired all day long

like i was walking in a fog..I take ibruprophen now for pain..

I don't take meds because everything i tried caused worse side

effects than the RA itself and I was also scared about the long term

effects.

I totally understand both sides of the coin here...SOME PEOPLE NEED

THE MEDS TO COPE and others just cannot tolerate them...LIKE ME..

Keep you head up and just remember, when the depression comes

calling, walk away from it, tell yourself it's not how you really

think..go for a walk or phone a good friend or family member who you

can confide in without being judged..It's difficult no matter how you

fight it...

It's a daily struggle for me and each night when i go to bed I think

to myself...well, i made it through this day and tomorrow is a new

one..who knows what's in tomorrow...I try to stay positive and hope

tomorrow will bring more joy than sadness..

good luck with getting pregnant...

and hugs to everyone today and hoping your pain is kept under

control..

take care,

patty

> I am brand new to this group. I starting searching last night for

> groups of people with RA. I am 28 years old and have been diagnosed

> with RA for over 8 years. I am having some success with

Methotrexate

> and NSAID's. I am reluctant to try newer drugs, ie. Enbrel, because

> I fear long term effects. I also don't want to damage my chances

> (and I do mean a slim chance) of ever having a baby. I fear some of

> these newer drugs will have an adverse effect on a not yet

conceived

> fetus. My doctor understands my reluctance but supports my decision

> since I am doing better on my current regimine.

>

> What brought me to you are the postings on depression with RA. I

> thought I was the only one suffering. Apparently, I 'm not. I have

> been extremely depressed. I don't EVER want to get up in the

morning

> because I know how much it will hurt. I am in pain constantly and I

> don't remember what life is like without pain.

>

> I feel depressed because my young body is failing me. I can't

easily

> get dressed, take a shower, walk up or down stairs, reach up to

grab

> a plate or a cup from a cabinet. I am angry that I have this

disease

> and I don't want to feel like this.

>

> I have met a few people with RA but they didn't seem to be as bad

> off as me or they were mush worse then me and I was feeling like my

> RA is nothing and I should brush it off. I can't brush it off. It

is

> something that effects my every move.

>

> I, like many of you, take comfort in my pets. I have 3 small dogs

> whom I adore. They bring smiles to my face just thinking about

them.

> But there are days when not even their cute little black noses will

> make me smile.

>

> What do you all do to cope with the anger, frustration, self-pity,

> etc...? How can you not cry when you can't carry a gallon of milk

> into the house or open a jar of pickles? Are their drugs, hobbies,

> meditation that will help? I've tried Prozac, no luck. Anything

else?

>

> -

> (My girls' website is www.geocities.com/dhunt74)

January 23, 2003

,

I understand how you feel. I too get depressed and angry. SO

angry! I have always been very active, and never let anything get in

the way of the things I wanted to do, until my RA got really bad. I

have a very physical job (I am the Activity Coordinator for a Senior

Community) that I am finding it very difficult to do these days. I

have just this week had to ask to be relieved of a portion of my

duties that I find I just cannot do anymore. I am very afraid for my

job, even though they can't fire me legally BECAUSE of my RA, we all

know that it would not take much for something trumped up to get rid

of me. I try to take my pain and anger and do something positive

with it. Try volunteering at a senior center...even if you just

visit with a couple residents who have no family, you will brighten

their day more than you can know, and will feel better about

yourself. We may be in pain, we may limp, maybe we can't do

everything we want, but we can all bring a smile to someone else. I

hope you feel better soon.

January 24, 2003

and all,

Though I was just recently diagnosed, I find that hobbies, such as

crocheting, writing, and reading help me. I also find that a sense

of humor, (even when I am whining about about how much I hurt) helps.

My fiance and our sons try to talk me out of the moods I get into

because I know now I will never be able to do the things I so loved

in the past, like rafting, rock-climbing, " tent camping " , hiking.

My RA affects my cervical spine, so even riding in the car without a

neck brace for long periods is painful and we now have to make more

stops so I can get out and walk. The worst part for me about RA isn't

the pain, that I can almost cope with but the fact that I now have

limits put on me cause I know I will never be able to do the things I

so loved in the past, like rafting, rock-climbing, " tent camping " ,

hiking. And taht si where the depression comes in. So I look at it

this way, I can sit around moping and feeling sorry for myself or I

can accept that RA is now just as much a fact of life for me as

Epilepsy is and just " deal " with it.

I have a weird dog who is about 3 brain cells smarter than a brick

and 2 cats who adore me, along with the other animals in the house(a

fiance, 2 of 3 teen sons and my best friend of 20 years also a male)

who are more than willing to show affection and support when I need

it.

I have found this group a big help as well.

Rose

>

> ,

>

> I understand how you feel. I too get depressed and angry. SO

> angry! I have always been very active, and never let anything get

in

> the way of the things I wanted to do, until my RA got really bad.

I

> have a very physical job (I am the Activity Coordinator for a

Senior

> Community) that I am finding it very difficult to do these days. I

> have just this week had to ask to be relieved of a portion of my

> duties that I find I just cannot do anymore. I am very afraid for

my

> job, even though they can't fire me legally BECAUSE of my RA, we

all

> know that it would not take much for something trumped up to get

rid

> of me. I try to take my pain and anger and do something positive

> with it. Try volunteering at a senior center...even if you just

> visit with a couple residents who have no family, you will brighten

> their day more than you can know, and will feel better about

> yourself. We may be in pain, we may limp, maybe we can't do

> everything we want, but we can all bring a smile to someone else.

I

> hope you feel better soon.

>

January 24, 2003

Rose,

Thanks for your supportive words. Sometimes it seems so sensable to

not be depressed. You're right, we just have to " deal with " . But

it's those days that you don't want to deal with it all that are the

hardest. There are days when you don't want to get up because it

hurts to much. You don't care if there are people worse than you.

You don't care that it could be worse. You care that you hurt. You

feel that you're too young, athletic, pretty, smart, (fill in your

own adjective)...to have this disease and you want to curl up in a

ball and die. Those are the tough days. No amount of positive

thinking will help that. It's for those days that I need the most

help. When you're not so depressed it seems logical to think like

that, to do things to make you feel good. But when you ache, when

you have such pain that you want to just put the covers over your

head, that's when I need the help. What can I do then?

-

> >

> > ,

> >

> > I understand how you feel. I too get depressed and angry. SO

> > angry! I have always been very active, and never let anything

get

> in

> > the way of the things I wanted to do, until my RA got really

bad.

> I

> > have a very physical job (I am the Activity Coordinator for a

> Senior

> > Community) that I am finding it very difficult to do these

days. I

> > have just this week had to ask to be relieved of a portion of my

> > duties that I find I just cannot do anymore. I am very afraid

for

> my

> > job, even though they can't fire me legally BECAUSE of my RA, we

> all

> > know that it would not take much for something trumped up to get

> rid

> > of me. I try to take my pain and anger and do something

positive

> > with it. Try volunteering at a senior center...even if you just

> > visit with a couple residents who have no family, you will

brighten

> > their day more than you can know, and will feel better about

> > yourself. We may be in pain, we may limp, maybe we can't do

> > everything we want, but we can all bring a smile to someone

else.

> I

> > hope you feel better soon.

> >

January 24, 2003

Hi !

I know how you feel. I have had RA for almost 3 years and for 2 and a half

of those years I have been disabled from it and not able to work. I have

been on SSI for 2 years now. I just turned 44. I am on mtx, remicade,

folic acid, prednisone, and vioxx plus darvocet for pain. I too am

depressed from this disease and from other trauma that occurred in my life

and take remeron, ativan, and celexa. Plus I have epilepsy and take

tegretol for that....now have I left anything out??? :-) oh yes, hiatal

hernia for which I take prevacid.

I absolute HATE this disease!!!!!!!! It has robbed me of so many things and

so many good times. I can no longer go on motorcycle trips with my husband

or get down in the floor and play with the baby. I can't go shopping at the

mall or even walk down the street to post a letter. Some times I can not

even attend to my toiletry needs.

Fortunately I think maybe we have found the right combo of drugs and are

working out the correct dosages. I cry and I journal and I hold the babies

close when they are here. My husband is very supportive thank goodness!

I don't post often because it hurts my hands to type but I do read all of

them. And thank you to all of you for encouraging words and for your

heartfelt feelings and thoughts. I have found that crocheting is helping me

keep flexibility in my fingers although the strength has long since left.

Everyone stay warm!!!!!!!!!!! The high today was a whopping 12 degrees.

Thank God for warm water!!!! It is my solace!!!!!!!!!! My Jacuzzi

tub!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Take care!!!

Carla

-----Original Message-----

From: <dhuntress@...> [mailto:dhuntress@...]

Sent: Tuesday, January 21, 2003 4:01 PM

Rheumatoid Arthritis

Subject: Re: Coping with RA and depression