Guest guest Posted January 25, 2003 Report Share Posted January 25, 2003 Maxine, I'm aw struck by you..your faith...your strength...yet I know we have no choice. Just giving you a warm sincere hug. I'm so grateful to all of you in this group. It has helped me so very much this past week alone. Warmest regards to you all, Sandy From: "Maxine " Reply-Rheumatoid Arthritis Rheumatoid Arthritis Subject: Re: RA and Depression Date: Sat, 25 Jan 2003 05:49:25 -0000 Hello All, I am very glad that so many of us are talking about depression with RA. There have been many downs and many ups in my life. Right now, the downs are winning. Having RA is a very scary time because it is like reliving my bout with manic-depressive illness 20 years ago. I recovered beautifully from that experience by hard work and tenacity and was able to passionately work as a social worker with unaccompanied refugee minors, placing them in foster care. Later I worked for 12 years as executive director of a social service agency serving rural poor. I struggled with fibromyalgia for 30 years but it was manageable and I didn't lose work because of it. I took comp time after working too hard. I left that position to move 2 years ago to nurture a new relationship which is still going strong. However, since then my health has taken more than one turn for the worst. In August 2001 I was dx with heart disease and RA was also suspected. I developed pusatile tinnitus from the BP meds. This past May, I had my first major RA flare after suffering with neuropathy since January. Wow, we all know what that was like, yes? I was depressed but handled that with a technique that I learned from Dr. beth Kubler-Ross, the author of "On Death and Dying." I beat on my bed with a piece of hose, crying, screaming and shouting out my anger and hurt to God. That really helped for more than a month. Only 3 weeks after going back to a new great-paying, prestigious job as a program analyst after 2 1/2 months out on short- term disability, I had two angina attacks and needed an angioplasty. Unfortunately, I had internal bleeding complications that sent me to intensive care, needing 3 units of blood. My liver function tests were not normal so I had to stop the MX for a while. Less than 24 hrs. of being home, my love had a freak accident, cutting off a tip of a finger in a mailbox. Within 2 wks I had another major flare and required double the prednisone and slow reintroduction of MX. Soon I developed vertigo from an ear infection. After another 2 1/2 months on disability, I lost my job because I was not well enough to work full-time. I was handling my illness quite well with the belief that I would be able to work with accommodations. My employer and I were working on that. The job loss, the pain, and the fear of financial ruin threw me into a deeper depression. I am taking more antidepressants than I needed for many, many years. I have neuropathy every day. The pulsatile tinnitus continues with the vertigo recently returning and hanging on for over 7 weeks. I have applied for SSDI. On top of all this, my beloved dog had a leg amputated due to cancer in November and my beloved cat now is in the early stages of kidney failure. I wonder how much more I can take. When I think the worst is over, more comes along. I was just dx with scabies that I contracted first on the sole of my foot. The only places that I have gone barefoot is at the local pool when exercising for RA and heart disease and at many doctor's offices and medical testing facilities. Am I more susceptible to getting something as unusual as scabies because of my immuno-suppressive drugs? And then two days ago, I found a lump in my dog's groin, near her stump. I will take her to the vet on Tues., praying that it is not more cancer. The vet said that the amputation was curative. What is this? As you can imagine, anxiety is my constant companion. I am in therapy, venting and crying a lot, beginning to focus on relaxation techniques. I have never been suicidal because I know that I have made it through horrific times in the past and I will do it again. I have wonderful family and friends who love and support me and I will never give up. I want to leave them with a legacy that tells them that life is worth living. I have shared with them my pending poverty after I use up my savings. I trust that they will not let me become destitute. For over 20 years, I served the poverty-stricken population. I found most to be endearing and many to be hard workers caught in bad economic times. I now join them in even worse economic times. It is terrifying to be in this place yet I am depending on my resourcefulness to get me through. I learned years ago to ask for what I need. Certainly, my ego has taken a lot of blows but I recognize that there are alternatives choices to make. There are substitutes for the activities that brought me joy in years past. I am relying on my creativity to bring joy back into my life. I am discovering new people, new things, new life in surprising places. The world is a huge diamond with more facets than we can count. Right now I see mostly the dull facets, the dark ones that have little or no light shining on them. I continue to see and to seek the ones that glow with brilliance. With the grace of the Divine One, they do exist! I had the privilege of working with refugees who suffered atrocities that outweigh my suffering. I usually don't compare the worst of our sufferings instead I do look to them and other survivors of tragedies as guides. One of my favorite quotes from Dr. Tournier in a book, "Creative Suffering," is: "Courage is not taught, it is caught." This is why this message board is so helpful to us all. Thanks for sharing your innermost thoughts. I wish us all a glorious future! Peace, Maxine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 25, 2003 Report Share Posted January 25, 2003 Maxine: I am very touched by your letter and completely understand what you are going through. I have lived through some very similar things, just the details are different. I hope that you can continue to seek out the beautiful facets of the diamond of life. I pray for your and your dog's health. I know you will make it, as you have in the past. You have a great attitude for a lady who is going through so much. Love and light to you, Maxine. Hugs, Meredith -------Original Message------- From: Rheumatoid Arthritis Date: Friday, January 24, 2003 23:49:28 Rheumatoid Arthritis Subject: Re: RA and Depression Hello All, I am very glad that so many of us are talking about depression with RA. There have been many downs and many ups in my life. Right now, the downs are winning. Having RA is a very scary time because it is like reliving my bout with manic-depressive illness 20 years ago. I recovered beautifully from that experience by hard work and tenacity and was able to passionately work as a social worker with unaccompanied refugee minors, placing them in foster care. Later I worked for 12 years as executive director of a social service agency serving rural poor. I struggled with fibromyalgia for 30 years but it was manageable and I didn't lose work because of it. I took comp time after working too hard. I left that position to move 2 years ago to nurture a new relationship which is still going strong. However, since then my health has taken more than one turn for the worst. In August 2001 I was dx with heart disease and RA was also suspected. I developed pusatile tinnitus from the BP meds. This past May, I had my first major RA flare after suffering with neuropathy since January. Wow, we all know what that was like, yes? I was depressed but handled that with a technique that I learned from Dr. beth Kubler-Ross, the author of "On Death and Dying." I beat on my bed with a piece of hose, crying, screaming and shouting out my anger and hurt to God. That really helped for more than a month. Only 3 weeks after going back to a new great-paying, prestigious job as a program analyst after 2 1/2 months out on short-term disability, I had two angina attacks and needed an angioplasty. Unfortunately, I had internal bleeding complications that sent me to intensive care, needing 3 units of blood. My liver function tests were not normal so I had to stop the MX for a while. Less than 24 hrs. of being home, my love had a freak accident, cutting off a tip of a finger in a mailbox. Within 2 wks I had another major flare and required double the prednisone and slow reintroduction of MX. Soon I developed vertigo from an ear infection. After another 2 1/2 months on disability, I lost my job because I was not well enough to work full-time. I was handling my illness quite well with the belief that I would be able to work with accommodations. My employer and I were working on that. The job loss, the pain, and the fear of financial ruin threw me into a deeper depression. I am taking more antidepressants than I needed for many, many years. I have neuropathy every day. The pulsatile tinnitus continues with the vertigo recently returning and hanging on for over 7 weeks. I have applied for SSDI. On top of all this, my beloved dog had a leg amputated due to cancer in November and my beloved cat now is in the early stages of kidney failure. I wonder how much more I can take. When I think the worst is over, more comes along. I was just dx with scabies that I contracted first on the sole of my foot. The only places that I have gone barefoot is at the local pool when exercising for RA and heart disease and at many doctor's offices and medical testing facilities. Am I more susceptible to getting something as unusual as scabies because of my immuno-suppressive drugs? And then two days ago, I found a lump in my dog's groin, near her stump. I will take her to the vet on Tues., praying that it is not more cancer. The vet said that the amputation was curative. What is this? As you can imagine, anxiety is my constant companion. I am in therapy, venting and crying a lot, beginning to focus on relaxation techniques. I have never been suicidal because I know that I have made it through horrific times in the past and I will do it again. I have wonderful family and friends who love and support me and I will never give up. I want to leave them with a legacy that tells them that life is worth living. I have shared with them my pending poverty after I use up my savings. I trust that they will not let me become destitute. For over 20 years, I served the poverty-stricken population. I found most to be endearing and many to be hard workers caught in bad economic times. I now join them in even worse economic times. It is terrifying to be in this place yet I am depending on my resourcefulness to get me through. I learned years ago to ask for what I need. Certainly, my ego has taken a lot of blows but I recognize that there are alternatives choices to make. There are substitutes for the activities that brought me joy in years past. I am relying on my creativity to bring joy back into my life. I am discovering new people, new things, new life in surprising places. The world is a huge diamond with more facets than we can count. Right now I see mostly the dull facets, the dark ones that have little or no light shining on them. I continue to see and to seek the ones that glow with brilliance. With the grace of the Divine One, they do exist! I had the privilege of working with refugees who suffered atrocities that outweigh my suffering. I usually don't compare the worst of our sufferings instead I do look to them and other survivors of tragedies as guides. One of my favorite quotes from Dr. Tournier in a book, "Creative Suffering," is: "Courage is not taught, it is caught." This is why this message board is so helpful to us all. Thanks for sharing your innermost thoughts. I wish us all a glorious future! Peace, Maxine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2006 Report Share Posted May 30, 2006 I think depression is a non-specific side effect of any chronic illness. Since it is not illness-specific we do not usually hear of it as a side effect. Just my opinion. God bless. From: Rheumatoid Arthritis [mailto:Rheumatoid Arthritis ] On Behalf Of i_live_in_slippers Sent: Monday, May 29, 2006 8:21 PM Rheumatoid Arthritis Subject: Re: RA and depression Hi Gwen, I have never been told that depression is a side effect of RA. I do amit that I go thru ups and downs, and it seems like more downs lately but I dont really attribute that to my RA, rather maybe from my fatigue; caused by my RA. Ya know? What's everyonelse think? Is this just something I somehow haven't been told yet or is it a personal opinion thing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2006 Report Share Posted May 30, 2006 Hi folks Since I got ra three years ago, over the past two yyears I have found myself bursting into tears for no reason or watching something on tv or reading something and I have never had this before so if this is because I got ra then I do find myself trying to hold back the tears when I'm in company but doing good so far but finding it harder to do though lol Phil ----- Original Message ----- From: " i_live_in_slippers " <bart.tracy@...> <Rheumatoid Arthritis > Sent: Tuesday, May 30, 2006 4:21 AM Subject: Re: RA and depression Hi Gwen, I have never been told that depression is a side effect of RA. I do amit that I go thru ups and downs, and it seems like more downs lately but I dont really attribute that to my RA, rather maybe from my fatigue; caused by my RA. Ya know? What's everyonelse think? Is this just something I somehow haven't been told yet or is it a personal opinion thing? > > Hi y'all, > happy to say the hives are gone. Thanks for the aveeno tips. I'm > still on large doses of antihistamines, but down to 20 mg of pred. > > Anyway, re RA and depression, allow me to offer some thoughts-- I'm 41 > and have had it for 27 years (yup, since age 14). > > One thing to keep in mind, and it's very important, is that depression > is a real, chemical side-effect of the disease, in addition to > whatever sadness you may feel because you happen to be in pain. I > sooooo wish I had known this when I was a teen and busily analyzing > why I felt so sad and sluggish, because being analytical I could come > up with reasons, but the REAL reason I would cry at the least little > thing wasn't " I'm in pain " but " my brain chemistry has been altered. " > > Sometimes a short course of paxil can snap you out of it and in the > long run that's MUCH better. > > Also remember to focus on what you CAN do not on what you've lost. > Bad as we have it, there are people who are worse off, amputees and > cancer victims etc., and with RA at least there's always the hope of > full remission... > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2006 Report Share Posted May 30, 2006 I agree with this comment, Harold. I think become depressed because they have to deal w/ the ins and outs of Doctors appointments, picking up meds, frequent trips to the hospital...you just have to deal w/ it the best way you can, and one good way is this support group. I know I feel much better after signiing up. in WV God Bless Harold Van Tuyl <hvantuyl@...> wrote: I think depression is a non-specific side effect of any chronic illness. Since it is not illness-specific we do not usually hear of it as a side effect. Just my opinion. God bless. From: Rheumatoid Arthritis [mailto:Rheumatoid Arthritis ] On Behalf Of i_live_in_slippersSent: Monday, May 29, 2006 8:21 PMRheumatoid Arthritis Subject: Re: RA and depression Hi Gwen,I have never been told that depression is a side effect of RA. I do amit that I go thru ups and downs, and it seems like more downs lately but I dont really attribute that to my RA, rather maybe from my fatigue; caused by my RA. Ya know? What's everyonelse think? Is this just something I somehow haven't been told yet or is it a personal opinion thing? Sneak preview the all-new .com. It's not radically different. Just radically better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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