Re: Re: Surgery?

[Guest guest]

Thanks for sharing. As a father of a 2 year old with

Bleph, I really appreciate your insights.

--- abbie gogarty <abbie_gog@...> wrote:

> Hi,

>

> I don't often post on this site these days, but I

> feel the need to add my comments. I didn't have

> surgery until I was 19 years old. When I was a

> child, I was a shy, anxious girl who suffered as

> many of us have, terrible bullying etc . As a

> teenager, I had loads of friends and did well at

> school, I was cheeky, naughty and popular at

> school,I think this was to make up for the way i

> looked, but I never had a boyfriend like my friends,

> and I never felt attractive, i always felt

> 'different' to the other girls. As a young woman, I

> became really aware of my appearance and felt very

> self conscious when i went out etc. I used to get

> really angry at the world for treating me the way it

> did because my eye's were different. I never felt

> 'normal' and always felt different from everyone

> else.

>

> After surgery my life changed significantly, I was

> confident, felt more attractive and managed to

> achieve the things I never thought I would as a

> young woman, such as a successful career and a

> wonderful husband

> , you sound very angry, I came from a very

> supportive family, my sister and my dad have BPES. I

> had, and still have fantastic friends, regardless of

> my BPES. When I was a baby surgery wasn't an option

> because it wasn't that advanced then. I hope your

> comments haven't made any parents feel guilty about

> their children's surgery. I would like to say to

> those parents, that my only regret about my surgery

> is not having it sooner! I didn't tilt my head, I

> could see fine, the only reason I had surgery was

> 100% cosmetic, and I'm not ashamed of that. Call me

> shallow if you like, but I'm so happy with my life

> it really wouldn't bare any impact.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> blepharophimosis Surgery? Its

> sickening

> > >

> > > Im struggling right now to write this post with

> some sort of

> tact.

> > I

> > > thought this was a support group for people

> with " blepharophimosis "

>

=== message truncated ===

[Guest guest]

Im not really an angry person, and my only goal was to state that hey, if your vision isnt impaired, whats wrong with looking the way we do? Maybe surgery isnt the answer.

I hope i havent made anyone feel guilty either. I never said that children with a chance of blindness or limited vision shouldnt be operated on. My intent was never to make anyone else feel bad, but to share the experiences that i have had in the matter...

Im glad that surgery was your answer! However, it isnt mine! Arent there any success stories of people who have chosen to opt out of surgery? Arent any of us happy as we are??

I never thought that people would think it so bizarre to keep their eyes.

Im not an angry person, Im just angry that no one seems to think that NOT having surgery is the answer, or that its a valid option.

Is our society really that micromanaged that we have to systematically erase any part of ourselves that is different at any cost, even if physically we arent being harmed by it? (And im not saying thats the case for everyone)

Im trying to say that [unless youre suffering] our eyes aren't the problem!

Ive thought about getting surgery my ENTIRE life. There isnt one time that i have been made fun of that i havent thought about getting surgery. But then i began to think, why should i feel bad about myself because of these other people? Why should their cruelty motivate me to feel ashamed, that i should change?

Abbie i want you to know that i really admire you as a person. I dont think i would have the strength to go into surgery and then wake up to see a different face than ive always had. Ive thought a hundred thousand times over whether i should get surgery. Im 20 right now, so im almost the same age you were. But the thought of changing my eyes really terrifies me.

I dont mean to make anyone angry in this group. I realize now that just because my family supports my eyes that not everyone views having eyes like this as "ok." and most see it as something that should be fixed. (Im referring to people like me who dont have any blindness or vision impairment)

Overall im really sorry that i even brought anything up.

I cant change the way our society views us and apparently my opinion about the matter isnt welcomed even without a group of my "own" people. I do apologize a thousand times over for my first post being brash, or disrespectful, or judgemental.

I really appreciate you sharing your experience with me, abby.

h

blepharophimosis From: t_borrego@...Date: Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:23:05 -0800Subject: Re: blepharophimosis Re: Surgery?

Thanks for sharing. As a father of a 2 year old withBleph, I really appreciate your insights. --- abbie gogarty <abbie_gog (DOT) co.uk> wrote:> Hi,> > I don't often post on this site these days, but I> feel the need to add my comments. I didn't have> surgery until I was 19 years old. When I was a> child, I was a shy, anxious girl who suffered as> many of us have, terrible bullying etc . As a> teenager, I had loads of friends and did well at> school, I was cheeky, naughty and popular at> school,I think this was to make up for the way i> looked, but I never had a boyfriend like my friends,> and I never felt attractive, i always felt> 'different' to the other girls. As a young woman, I> became really aware of my appearance and felt very> self conscious when i went out etc. I used to get> really angry at the world for treating me the way it> did because my eye's were different. I never felt> 'normal' and always felt different from everyone> else. > > After surgery my life changed significantly, I was> confident, felt more attractive and managed to> achieve the things I never thought I would as a> young woman, such as a successful career and a> wonderful husband> , you sound very angry, I came from a very> supportive family, my sister and my dad have BPES. I> had, and still have fantastic friends, regardless of> my BPES. When I was a baby surgery wasn't an option> because it wasn't that advanced then. I hope your> comments haven't made any parents feel guilty about> their children's surgery. I would like to say to> those parents, that my only regret about my surgery> is not having it sooner! I didn't tilt my head, I> could see fine, the only reason I had surgery was> 100% cosmetic, and I'm not ashamed of that. Call me> shallow if you like, but I'm so happy with my life> it really wouldn't bare any impact. > > > > > > > > blepharophimosis Surgery? Its> sickening> > > > > > Im struggling right now to write this post with> some sort of > tact. > > I > > > thought this was a support group for people > with "blepharophimosis" > === message truncated === Connect and share in new ways with Windows Live. Connect now!