Guest guest Posted January 25, 2003 Report Share Posted January 25, 2003 Research and common sense have brought me to ask this question... Did any of you experience depression or a traumatic experience before you had RA? I did, and was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder once I got RA. The psychologists said that RA was making me feel powerless again and triggering my body to remember the past. I am wondering if our past experiences may have triggered our bodies to develop RA. I have done some research on this and many people claim that there was trauma in the past and some people say that that past triggered RA. ??? Interesting. Did trauma trigger RA or is there some kind of correlation? But maybe everyone has experienced some trauma so maybe it's not valid to look into it. But it does seem that people with RA have troubled pasts (even if in mild form). I wonder if my trauma was dealt with at a younger age if I ever would have gotten this disease. Just blabbering.... - > Hello All, > I am very glad that so many of us are talking about depression > with RA. There have been many downs and many ups in my life. Right > now, the downs are winning. Having RA is a very scary time because it > is like reliving my bout with manic-depressive illness 20 years ago. > I recovered beautifully from that experience by hard work and > tenacity and was able to passionately work as a social worker with > unaccompanied refugee minors, placing them in foster care. Later I > worked for 12 years as executive director of a social service agency > serving rural poor. I struggled with fibromyalgia for 30 years but > it was manageable and I didn't lose work because of it. I took comp > time after working too hard. I left that position to move 2 years > ago to nurture a new relationship which is still going strong. > However, since then my health has taken more than one turn for the > worst. In August 2001 I was dx with heart disease and RA was also > suspected. I developed pusatile tinnitus from the BP meds. This > past May, I had my first major RA flare after suffering with > neuropathy since January. Wow, we all know what that was like, yes? > I was depressed but handled that with a technique that I learned from > Dr. beth Kubler-Ross, the author of " On Death and Dying. " I > beat on my bed with a piece of hose, crying, screaming and shouting > out my anger and hurt to God. That really helped for more than a > month. > Only 3 weeks after going back to a new great-paying, > prestigious job as a program analyst after 2 1/2 months out on short- > term disability, I had two angina attacks and needed an angioplasty. > Unfortunately, I had internal bleeding complications that sent me to > intensive care, needing 3 units of blood. My liver function tests > were not normal so I had to stop the MX for a while. Less than 24 > hrs. of being home, my love had a freak accident, cutting off a tip > of a finger in a mailbox. Within 2 wks I had another major flare and > required double the prednisone and slow reintroduction of MX. Soon I > developed vertigo from an ear infection. After another 2 1/2 months > on disability, I lost my job because I was not well enough to work > full-time. I was handling my illness quite well with the belief that > I would be able to work with accommodations. My employer and I were > working on that. The job loss, the pain, and the fear of financial > ruin threw me into a deeper depression. I am taking more > antidepressants than I needed for many, many years. I have > neuropathy every day. The pulsatile tinnitus continues > with the vertigo recently returning and hanging on for over 7 weeks. > I have applied for SSDI. > On top of all this, my beloved dog had a leg amputated due to > cancer in November and my beloved cat now is in the early stages of > kidney failure. I wonder how much more I can take. When I think the > worst is over, more comes along. I was just dx with scabies that I > contracted first on the sole of my foot. The only places that I have > gone barefoot is at the local pool when exercising for RA and heart > disease and at many doctor's offices and medical testing facilities. > Am I more susceptible to getting something as unusual as scabies > because of my immuno-suppressive drugs? And then two days ago, I > found a lump in my dog's groin, near her stump. I will take her to > the vet on Tues., praying that it is not more cancer. The vet said > that the amputation was curative. What is this? > As you can imagine, anxiety is my constant companion. I am in > therapy, venting and crying a lot, beginning to focus on relaxation > techniques. I have never been suicidal because I know that I have > made it through horrific times in the past and I will do it again. I > have wonderful family and friends who love and support me and I will > never give up. I want to leave them with a legacy that tells them > that life is worth living. I have shared with them my pending > poverty after I use up my savings. I trust that they will not let me > become destitute. For over 20 years, I served the poverty- stricken > population. I found most to be endearing and many to be hard workers > caught in bad economic times. I now join them in even worse economic > times. It is terrifying to be in this place yet I am depending on my > resourcefulness to get me through. I learned years ago to ask for > what I need. Certainly, my ego has taken a lot of blows but I > recognize that there are alternatives choices to make. > There are substitutes for the activities that brought me joy in years > past. I am relying on my creativity to bring joy back into my life. > I am discovering new people, new things, new life in surprising > places. The world is a huge diamond with more facets than we can > count. Right now I see mostly the dull facets, the dark ones that > have little or no light shining on them. I continue to see and to > seek the ones that glow with brilliance. With the grace of the > Divine One, they do exist! > I had the privilege of working with refugees who suffered > atrocities that outweigh my suffering. I usually don't compare the > worst of our sufferings instead I do look to them and other survivors > of tragedies as guides. One of my favorite quotes from Dr. > Tournier in a book, " Creative Suffering, " is: " Courage is not > taught, it is caught. " This is why this message board is so helpful > to us all. Thanks for sharing your innermost thoughts. I wish us > all a glorious future! Peace, Maxine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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