Guest guest Posted August 27, 2009 Report Share Posted August 27, 2009 Hi Joyce, mmwwhhaa big hugs I am so pleased to hear your daughters are as fabulous as you are, wow your eldest must be on a trip of a lifetime, how exciting. I remember the first time we met, and the impression both of your girls made on me, to hear they are doing so well is an sbsolute credit to you. Lovely Clare Teale Herts UK From: joyceaibitoye@... <joyceaibitoye@...>Subject: Re: blepharophimosis Self-Confidence!blepharophimosis Date: Thursday, 27 August, 2009, 12:26 PM Thanks Clare and other for your insightful inputs. Spot on a always. Will take these and other ideas on board. My youngest daughter carried her eyes like a badge of honour and was upset when she had had to have surgery which we had put off until we were told, it has affected her sight. Her main complaint was she does not want to look like everyone else. She will no longer feel special. I think she was a confident child whether she had BPES or not. I also did make sure from an early age they were affirmed daily telling them their eyes were special. My older daughter (15) struggled a bit and still does now but tries to hide it a bit. She has the tendency to form scars after surgery and this has contributed to the problem. The remedy for me is to keep affirming her, focus on the positive which far out weigh any negatives, never allowing her to shy away from challenges or things that need doing. The result is beautiful. She is currently in Ukraine with a team of youth working with street children rehabilitation programme. The aim here is for her to not focus on herself but to see that there are worse things in life and she could be doing a lot of good out there. The main gist is, some kids are born with more confidence and self esteem. The ones with less of these gift can be encouraged and confidence developed. ( I watched a BBC programme recently and there was this absolutely beautiful girl that had everything handed to her on a silver platter. Her reason for being on the show was her acute lack of confidence or self esteem. I am sure you know one or two people like this) Hope this helps Joyce [Mum to Mayowa 15 and Tina 11] London UK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 17, 2009 Report Share Posted November 17, 2009 , you ROCK In a message dated 11/17/2009 6:44:46 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, kjk6126@... writes: Hi! My name is and I am 21 years old and also have BPES. I too am the only one in my family with it and understand how hard it can be. Always encourage your daughter to try and make light of the stares and questions. I find it helps me to deal. I used to try and fight it. When I would catch grown up adults making faces at me in horror I would snap back with a "whats your problem" or would cry. My goal being to let them know that even thought my eyes are different, I can still see the way they are looking at me. I used to enjoy the sight of my tormenters looking embarassed at having been "caught" in their cruel behavior. But, overtime I have realized that the best method is to promote awareness. I find that by addressing the issue and answering peoples questions, they are more likely to accept my eyes. I think most of the time its more a fear of the unknown than a fear of the condition itself that people suffer from. But, always encourage your daughter to still not be afraid to demand the respect she deserves. While I am open to answering questions, people must ask nicely. Once while working at my summer job a customer asked me "What the hell happen to your eyes" while wearing a look of pure disgust. I turned to the woman and smiled and politely said. "When you are ready to ask me respectfuly and politely, I'll be ready to answer your questions". Best of luck to you and your family,' Kisling>> Good Morning!> My husband and I have always tried to be completely honest with our daughter (9 years old and the only one in our family with BPES). > I think empowering her with the knowledge has helped with confidence. When anybody asks her about her eyes, she tells them that she was born with BPES (she says the whole name). She gets a kick out of them trying to say it. She tells them about her surgeries and answers their questions if they have any. > I used to fret about kids making fun of her and there were even adults who were rude...but once she had the knowledge and the courage to talk about BPES (because we are very open about it too), it has not been a very big issue. > Our daughter is a wonderful artist and we also feed that passion and talent. I think that is important for every child to find their passion and be encouraged and empowered to do it. That also helps with self esteem and confidence.> Thanks you for writing about this important topic...not just for our kids with BPES but all kids!> Sincerely,> debbie> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 17, 2009 Report Share Posted November 17, 2009 Hi! My name is and I am 21 years old and also have BPES. I too am the only one in my family with it and understand how hard it can be. Always encourage your daughter to try and make light of the stares and questions. I find it helps me to deal. I used to try and fight it. When I would catch grown up adults making faces at me in horror I would snap back with a " whats your problem " or would cry. My goal being to let them know that even thought my eyes are different, I can still see the way they are looking at me. I used to enjoy the sight of my tormenters looking embarassed at having been " caught " in their cruel behavior. But, overtime I have realized that the best method is to promote awareness. I find that by addressing the issue and answering peoples questions, they are more likely to accept my eyes. I think most of the time its more a fear of the unknown than a fear of the condition itself that people suffer from. But, always encourage your daughter to still not be afraid to demand the respect she deserves. While I am open to answering questions, people must ask nicely. Once while working at my summer job a customer asked me " What the hell happen to your eyes " while wearing a look of pure disgust. I turned to the woman and smiled and politely said. " When you are ready to ask me respectfuly and politely, I'll be ready to answer your questions " . Best of luck to you and your family,' Kisling > > Good Morning! > My husband and I have always tried to be completely honest with our daughter (9 years old and the only one in our family with BPES). > I think empowering her with the knowledge has helped with confidence. When anybody asks her about her eyes, she tells them that she was born with BPES (she says the whole name). She gets a kick out of them trying to say it. She tells them about her surgeries and answers their questions if they have any. > I used to fret about kids making fun of her and there were even adults who were rude...but once she had the knowledge and the courage to talk about BPES (because we are very open about it too), it has not been a very big issue. > Our daughter is a wonderful artist and we also feed that passion and talent. I think that is important for every child to find their passion and be encouraged and empowered to do it. That also helps with self esteem and confidence. > Thanks you for writing about this important topic...not just for our kids with BPES but all kids! > Sincerely, > debbie > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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