Could be worse

[Guest guest]

Dear Terry,

Thanks for sharing your story with us. Even though you are unable to work,

you are making the best of a bad situation and I applaud you for it. Your son

must be very proud of you. As our newcomers can see from our stories, we all

responded in different ways. What a blessing to see so many who are living past

10 years. Your testimony proves that you can still lead a pretty normal life

after CML. It's not an easy route and acceptance is difficult. We like to live

in denial when something terrible happens to us. We just have to hang in there

and be patient; things will take a turn in due time - some sooner than others,

but we do get by. I am not near PCRU, but it doesn't matter, because I have

outlived all the predictions from the nay sayers.

Best wishes,

Lottie

[Guest guest]

Thanks Lottie,

The worst part of the whole thing is I know how scared my son is something

is going to happen to me. I take him to all my doctor visits, so he knows I

am in remission and it is just side effects, but he still worries. I have to

hang in there for him, I have had custody of him since he was 5, though he

did live with his mom for a year after I was diagnosed, and he has been

through allot. I have never posted this before but my ex-wife that left me

over my CML took my son Nick and my step-son Andy in the backyard and told

them, " Your the reason your father is dying because you won't behave! "

She did not know my mom was still in the house and heard her say it but kept

out of it because I was out of it from my first Bone marrow biopsy. That is

when he wanted to go live with his mom. Then on top of that I kinda lost it

for a while with the disease, losing my job, and my wife leaving me

happening all at once. So I ended up meeting a woman on the internet and

that turned into a bad relationship for about 7 months. Looking back I

realize I was just reaching out for a woman to be my lifeline or something

stupid. Turned out she and her brother had a bad drug habit, and after

living with her for 5 months in Cincinnati Ohio, then leaving her, then the

aftermath, that was a mess. I was just a pharmacy for them and it took me a

while but I realize I was just being used by her so she did not have to live

with her brother. So my son worried that entire time. Since then I had one

more failed marriage because I once again reached out to the wrong lady and

we ended up leaving that situation when it was obvious my disability checks

were her main concern, when she would not work, and again this one had a

drug problem and I had to start locking them away. Since then I have sworn

off dating period.

My son Nick and I now live with my parents in a house my uncle helped them

purchase. It works out well. It is a four bedroom home. It was a repo'ed

house so the house payment is dirt cheap. I pay for the phone,internet, and

Direct TV, and chip in when needed, so it helps them out too. So now I just

am going to be concentrating on raising Nick, I figure after 4 failed

marriages enough is enough in that area, lol.

Sorry for the rant but thank you again,

Terry

On Sat, Feb 28, 2009 at 2:53 AM, Lottie Duthu <lotajam@...> wrote:

> Dear Terry,

> Thanks for sharing your story with us. Even though you are unable to work,

> you are making the best of a bad situation and I applaud you for it. Your

> son must be very proud of you. As our newcomers can see from our stories, we

> all responded in different ways. What a blessing to see so many who are

> living past 10 years. Your testimony proves that you can still lead a pretty

> normal life after CML. It's not an easy route and acceptance is difficult.

> We like to live in denial when something terrible happens to us. We just

> have to hang in there and be patient; things will take a turn in due time -

> some sooner than others, but we do get by. I am not near PCRU, but it

> doesn't matter, because I have outlived all the predictions from the nay

> sayers.

> Best wishes,

> Lottie

>

>