Re: Love and hate relationship with autism?

October 7, 2005

Tom,

I can agree with this. When I'm by myself I'm usually feeling alright. It is only when I am forced to be out in public for an extended period of time that it becomes a burden. It grates on my nerves to see how easily others associate with each other, and even though I am not looking for a relationship, it really galls me to see the kind of trash women choose over decent men. This really boiled up when I was in Mobile, AL last time. There was some kind of college tennis tournament going on and the girls seemed to rush and compete to pick up the sleaziest, grungiest guys there. They probably thought I was college age too, because I can pass for that age, especially if there are kids that age around. Still, it was the usual thing, I was ignored like something unpleasant someone spit out on the sidewalk. That got to me after a while.

Conforming isn't a problem, to an extent. But that I mean I will be polite and observe the niceities that make society more pleasant, but that's it. I still can't do small talk very well and so on. However, with practice, making small comments and one or two exchange banter has gotten easier. I don't really see the need to shoot the breeze with complete strangers though.

Really I don't mind being alone most of the time. Still, it is nice to have people to talk to now and then.

October 7, 2005

Just popping in here briefly to comment on this:

Tom:

> When I am alone I am happy to be me. But when I am in public, I feel

ashamed of who I am because I can never fit in. And then after being

in public I hate myself for how I was made sometimes.

I have had a similar conflict. When I'm alone and can allow myself to be as

sensitive as I am, I feel really wonderful, but then the contrast between my

state of mind and the rest of the world becomes so accentuated that I become

practically allergic to anything remotely human. When social, the mere

proximity of others turns off my most delicate states of mind and I function

better, feel ALMOST human but then I miss my blissful states of creativity

and introversion.

> And is it okay not to try to conform to the ways and manners of the

> general populace?

Of course! This is what artists, writers and musicians have done all through

the ages. If it wasn't for them questioning the status quo, as well as

LIVING their own truth, we would still be stuck in cultural customs that may

have been good and useful once but which are now obsolete and only a

hinderance to our continued growth.

For example, once upon a time people may have been totally abusive to each

other and just blurted out whatever was on their mind, raped whomever they

wanted to have sex with, hit anytone they didn't like and grabbed everything

in sight that they wanted. Clearly they needed to learn some manners and

self-control in order to not hurt others and cause chaos in their community.

But when that self-control is taken to the other extreme and people have

made white lies and hypocricy their second nature, there needs to be

rebalancing of the scales towards again more directness and accepting one's

natural needs - preferrably moderated so as to reach a healthy balance

between one's own needs and the needs of others'.

> Or must we compromise and to be more like non-autistics?

Not at all. We are here to act as an inspiration to them. But for that we

need to realize that this is what we are here for. Not to adapt to them, but

to teach them a simpler, happier, more natural way of living - by doing so

ourselves.

That is what I believe anyway.

Inger

October 8, 2005

I used to think that my only two choices were to be myself or pretend

to be normal. Now I mostly use a third option, which is to moderate

my behavior so it falls somewhere between the two extremes. The

degree to which I moderate my behavior varies depending on the

circumstance. For example, I have some friends over to play D & D and

they have they are a little excentric and have a pretty high tolerancy

of eccentric behavior. When I am with them I don't really moderate my

behavior that much. When I am at work, I moderate my behavior a

little bit more and when I am with my mother, who is very critical of

my " quirks, " I moderate myself quite a bit. In public, (not with

anyone I know) I don't care if people think I am strange, but I do

make an effort to be reasonablely polite. Where I live (near

Washington DC) people can occassionally get upset or even

confrontational if you " disrespect " them by being rude.

I am not sure if I can pass for completely normal. Trying is very,

very stressful and I usually make " mistakes. " The closest I can

reasonablely do (without causing exreme stress) is to be only mildly

excentric.

The question that I deal with is not whether to be myself, but how

much of myself I let me be.

Ilah

>

> I love my autism and hate my autism.

>

> When I am alone I am happy to be me. But when I am in public, I feel

> ashamed of who I am because I can never fit in. And then after being

> in public I hate myself for how I was made sometimes.

>

> Do any of you feel this way?

>

> And is it okay not to try to conform to the ways and manners of the

> general populace? Or must we compromise and to be more like non-

> autistics?

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>

October 8, 2005

I think this is a wonderful description of how autistic children should

be socialized. Far from the " accepted " truths, unfortunately. Can I use

your words when I fight ignorance at my childrens school?

Leif

>I used to think that my only two choices were to be myself or pretend

> to be normal. Now I mostly use a third option, which is to moderate

> my behavior so it falls somewhere between the two extremes. The

> degree to which I moderate my behavior varies depending on the

> circumstance. For example, I have some friends over to play D & D and

> they have they are a little excentric and have a pretty high tolerancy

> of eccentric behavior. When I am with them I don't really moderate my

> behavior that much. When I am at work, I moderate my behavior a

> little bit more and when I am with my mother, who is very critical of

> my " quirks, " I moderate myself quite a bit. In public, (not with

> anyone I know) I don't care if people think I am strange, but I do

> make an effort to be reasonablely polite. Where I live (near

> Washington DC) people can occassionally get upset or even

> confrontational if you " disrespect " them by being rude.

>

> I am not sure if I can pass for completely normal. Trying is very,

> very stressful and I usually make " mistakes. " The closest I can

> reasonablely do (without causing exreme stress) is to be only mildly

> excentric.

>

> The question that I deal with is not whether to be myself, but how

> much of myself I let me be.

>

> Ilah

>

>>

>> I love my autism and hate my autism.

>>

>> When I am alone I am happy to be me. But when I am in public, I feel

>> ashamed of who I am because I can never fit in. And then after being

>> in public I hate myself for how I was made sometimes.

>>

>> Do any of you feel this way?

>>

>> And is it okay not to try to conform to the ways and manners of the

>> general populace? Or must we compromise and to be more like non-

>> autistics?

>>

>> Tom

>> Administrator

>>

>

> FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship, support

> and acceptance. Everyone is valued.

>

> Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links page in the

> folder marked " Other FAM Sites. "

>

October 8, 2005

Tom wrote:

> But when I am

> in public, I feel

> ashamed of who I am because I can never fit in.

Before I discovered that I am autistic, I used to hate

the way I am, because I couldn't be like others around

me. After I discovered *why* I was different, it was a

whole different ballgame. I wasn't some " broken "

person, but a differently made person. It made all

difference in the world on how I view myself.

So, instead of blaming myself anymore, I get peeved at

those people who think they are better than I am

because they are more socially adept. I had an

epiphany one day that being more socially adept does

not make one a good or moral person, and that I did

not have to be socially adept to be a good person. I

am content with that.

Besides, I discovered that being a social butterfly is

not all it is cracked up to be. I have a friend who

for years thought that she had lots of friends. Then

she went through a divorce and they all disappeared.

She was shocked, as she thought they were her true

friends.

They did not want to be around her anymore since she

no longer was the " life of the party " and was going

through much angst with her divorce. Also, her ex

husband is from an important family in town, and some

took his side not to lose favor with these people.

Who needs that? At least the few people I got in my

life who accept me are true blue. I can do without the

fair weather friends.

> And is it okay not to try to conform to the ways and

> manners of the

> general populace? Or must we compromise and to be

> more like non-

> autistics?

There are certain stims I only do in private. That is

my choice as I know how strange it can make me appear.

Even my husband of 14 years has not seen some of them.

I think that is a left-over of all the censure I

received as a child for them. I am just used to

keeping them to myself.

I do try to be polite to people [the golden rule], but

I no longer twist myself into a pretzyl trying to be

some social creature I am not. Besides, despite all my

best efforts in the past to socially conform I still

came across as weird to people anyway, in ways that I

cannot see, so why sweat it?

Take care,

Gail :-)

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October 8, 2005

Yes, please use my words if you think it would help others. I wish

I had had some guidance when I when was younger instead of learning

everything by trial and error.

Ilah

> >>

> >> I love my autism and hate my autism.

> >>

> >> When I am alone I am happy to be me. But when I am in public, I

feel

> >> ashamed of who I am because I can never fit in. And then after

being

> >> in public I hate myself for how I was made sometimes.

> >>

> >> Do any of you feel this way?

> >>

> >> And is it okay not to try to conform to the ways and manners of

the

> >> general populace? Or must we compromise and to be more like non-

> >> autistics?

> >>

> >> Tom

> >> Administrator

> >>

> >

> > FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship,

support

> > and acceptance. Everyone is valued.

> >

> > Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links

page in the

> > folder marked " Other FAM Sites. "

> >

October 9, 2005

Thanks Gail, and thanks to everyone who replied. Does anyone have

anything else they'd like to add?

Tom

> But when I am

> in public, I feel

> ashamed of who I am because I can never fit in.

Before I discovered that I am autistic, I used to hate

the way I am, because I couldn't be like others around

me. After I discovered *why* I was different, it was a

whole different ballgame. I wasn't some " broken "

person, but a differently made person. It made all

difference in the world on how I view myself.

So, instead of blaming myself anymore, I get peeved at

those people who think they are better than I am

because they are more socially adept. I had an

epiphany one day that being more socially adept does

not make one a good or moral person, and that I did

not have to be socially adept to be a good person. I

am content with that.

Besides, I discovered that being a social butterfly is

not all it is cracked up to be. I have a friend who

for years thought that she had lots of friends. Then

she went through a divorce and they all disappeared.

She was shocked, as she thought they were her true

friends.

They did not want to be around her anymore since she

no longer was the " life of the party " and was going

through much angst with her divorce. Also, her ex

husband is from an important family in town, and some

took his side not to lose favor with these people.

Who needs that? At least the few people I got in my

life who accept me are true blue. I can do without the

fair weather friends.

> And is it okay not to try to conform to the ways and

> manners of the

> general populace? Or must we compromise and to be

> more like non-

> autistics?

There are certain stims I only do in private. That is

my choice as I know how strange it can make me appear.

Even my husband of 14 years has not seen some of them.

I think that is a left-over of all the censure I

received as a child for them. I am just used to

keeping them to myself.

I do try to be polite to people [the golden rule], but

I no longer twist myself into a pretzyl trying to be

some social creature I am not. Besides, despite all my

best efforts in the past to socially conform I still

came across as weird to people anyway, in ways that I

cannot see, so why sweat it?

Take care,

Gail :-)

October 9, 2005

Well - I've kind of gotten used to the label wierd.

To me AS has some good stuff and bad stuff - I love hyperfocusing,

when left alone to do so :-)I also have a sense of wonder at things

that other people just don't seem to. Having a sense of humour that

isn't determined by society :-)Being able to feel things deeply -

sometimes good, sometimes bad.

Bad stuff people expect me to socialize and I really dislike it. I

can manage it occasionally in familiar settings and with familiar

people. Foot in mouth syndrome never goes down well either, people

take offence way too easily and take things personally when they were

never inteded to be. Also taking things literally and not always

knowing when people are joking. Oh and been accused of not caring

when I do.

One thing that does really get to me is not getting anything from eye

contact, I say this because I have read the books and know that I am

suposed to percieve pick up all sorts of things from anothers eyes -

I can't. I can like someones eyes occasionally though :-) but most of

the time they are just interesting coloured things with pretty

patterns :-) I wonder if the rare times I like someones eyes am I

picking something up, but not aware/processing it? Also I sometimes

do find eye contact threatening - it seems some people are almost

seeking your eyes out - like strangers - I don't want to look into

some strangers eyes - to me that feels wrong.

> > But when I am

> > in public, I feel

> > ashamed of who I am because I can never fit in.

>

> Before I discovered that I am autistic, I used to hate

> the way I am, because I couldn't be like others around

> me. After I discovered *why* I was different, it was a

> whole different ballgame. I wasn't some " broken "

> person, but a differently made person. It made all

> difference in the world on how I view myself.

>

> So, instead of blaming myself anymore, I get peeved at

> those people who think they are better than I am

> because they are more socially adept. I had an

> epiphany one day that being more socially adept does

> not make one a good or moral person, and that I did

> not have to be socially adept to be a good person. I

> am content with that.

>

> Besides, I discovered that being a social butterfly is

> not all it is cracked up to be. I have a friend who

> for years thought that she had lots of friends. Then

> she went through a divorce and they all disappeared.

> She was shocked, as she thought they were her true

> friends.

>

> They did not want to be around her anymore since she

> no longer was the " life of the party " and was going

> through much angst with her divorce. Also, her ex

> husband is from an important family in town, and some

> took his side not to lose favor with these people.

>

> Who needs that? At least the few people I got in my

> life who accept me are true blue. I can do without the

> fair weather friends.

>

> > And is it okay not to try to conform to the ways and

> > manners of the

> > general populace? Or must we compromise and to be

> > more like non-

> > autistics?

>

> There are certain stims I only do in private. That is

> my choice as I know how strange it can make me appear.

> Even my husband of 14 years has not seen some of them.

> I think that is a left-over of all the censure I

> received as a child for them. I am just used to

> keeping them to myself.

>

> I do try to be polite to people [the golden rule], but

> I no longer twist myself into a pretzyl trying to be

> some social creature I am not. Besides, despite all my

> best efforts in the past to socially conform I still

> came across as weird to people anyway, in ways that I

> cannot see, so why sweat it?

>

> Take care,

> Gail :-)

>

October 9, 2005

In a message dated 10/9/2005 4:31:55 AM Eastern Standard Time, julie.stevenson16@... writes:

Well - I've kind of gotten used to the label wierd.

I was usually reffered to as being a "character". One professor said this about me and I asked if that was meant as a compliment or an insult. They said it was a compliment because it made me different from the other students, but in a good way. That good way meant not like the druggies or the people with enough piercings to equip an entire Roman Legion with arms and armor.

The thing that draws the most comments is that I tend to dress the same all the time. I bascially have a summer and winter wardrobe that consist of sets of clothes that look the same. Summer is jeans, colored T-shirt with a jeans jacket over it. Winter is jeans with a sweatshirt. People have asked me if I ever change clothes and I tell them of course: I have several sets of the same thing is all. Partly it is because the schools I attended both the private and especially the military schools, all had uniforms. So from kindergarden on I was used to them. Also, it saves a lot of trouble. I don't have to waste energy matching up clothes because everything I have goes with everything else. So I could literaly get dressed in the dark with my eyes closed and not end up mismatched.

P.S. I do have two suits as well. The one I like most is my business suit which is a charcoal grey pants and jacket with a white shirt and a couple of different ties. Also I have a lighter slightly more casual set which is kakhi pants, white or blue shirt and a navy blazer with a few different ties.

October 9, 2005

(I still didn't do my homework, but I did clean up my room, so now I

deserve a break! =))

))

anyways.. I just wanted to say, you really said some things which

really make sense, both of you. I really feel with that, Tom, that's

how I very often feel now, 'never as good as they are', but next to

this judgment problem I also loose sense of self when I act social,

two reasons to hide as much as possible from people! :

and then, I really have to say that your method, Leif, is absolutely

great, and I wish I could do that as well! be concious of it, that I

have a choice to moderate, without actually loosing myself, but

somehow it doesn't (yet) work for me I loose track of who I am

when I socialize, I don't know if I am being me or not and what being

me is like... it's just like I completely disapear into whatever I am

pretending or acting like or doing (is that me or not?? what

is 'me'?), it just made me so confused and depressed, that I hardly

socialize just to avoid loosing my sense of self or becoming so

confused about what 'me' is like. I wish there was a middle way!! But

I seem incapable of it at the moment, when I'm with others, I can

fake being normal to a certain degree, but then I just don't know who

I really am anymore. Also I compare myself to much with others. for

example if someone has Aspie or excentric traits and shows them

openly I become jealous or sad that I don't have the courage showing

myself/being myself. That is also something I have problems with,

because how will I be able to find people who will like me for who I

really am, when I'm never being myself?!?!? (( this has so much

confused me, really, ever since 2001, when I started becoming more

social/tried being more social, I just got all these problems, and

can't get rid of them anymore! :x

arrrgh, why is my brain such a mess?!?

> >>

> >> I love my autism and hate my autism.

> >>

> >> When I am alone I am happy to be me. But when I am in public, I

feel

> >> ashamed of who I am because I can never fit in.

October 9, 2005

Also I sometimes

> do find eye contact threatening - it seems some people are almost

> seeking your eyes out - like strangers - I don't want to look into

> some strangers eyes - to me that feels wrong.

>

yep, same here, I tend to look only very briefly into someone's eyes

and then look away and later on in the conversation forcing msyelf to

look into the person's eyes. Usually when the other talks, because

sometimes when I force myself to look into someone's eyes I loose

track of what I was talking about!! :x I work in the university

library (student's job), and ok, I don't really think I come across

as rude.. I mean, not for as far as I know.. =) ahum.. but two of my

colleagues do come across as rude from time to time, they might have

something like Asperger's, one always screams to ppl who do something

against the rules I think it's funny to see them react shocked at

that LOL and then there's my other colleague from the other uni-

library who told me she is also sensitive to other ppl's moods for

example, she also has irritation/stress a lot and comes across as

rude when she's irritated/stressed. I don't mind, because I know it's

the stress and the fact that people interupt her each time. I do know

I feel irritated when I am busy with something and some customer

interupts me, but then I try acting kind and I think most ppl don't

notice I am irritated. But I do think I have another problem, I think

I might come across as 'distant' (in thoughts) also 'uninterested in

them' maybe? or I don't listen well enough and ask things three times

etc. Once a man got really pissed at me for asking for the third time

if he wanted me to return the books, the comforting thing is that his

behaviour is also downright weird! He is just the most bittered man I

know! He's always grumpy :[ so now I just try chearing him up by

being extra friendly to him (actually to avoid being criticized by

him) and it seems to work, he's becoming quite less grumpy to me!!!

October 9, 2005

I cannot act social - if I try I screw up. I can only be social in

limited ways and as myself and that doesn't always go down well -

when I am relaxed and myself I am made to feel like an oddity - I am

aware that I have done something that is not considered the social

norm' - usually when the whole room goes quiet and I am suddenly

aware all are staring at me and I realise yet agian I have made a

social faux pas (sp?). This has happened on numerous occasions - so

now I am extrememly wary and usually quite quiet until I am used to

people. Sometimes people accept me and other times not - but always

they seem surprised when they see me suddendly emerge and when I

emerge it is usually because I feel comfortable - I am very easily

scared back into my shell though.

One example of this is where I have been with patners that are more

social than I and gone to social events with them. One time was a

housewarming party and shortly before I was due to leave I was handed

a drink of Irish cream. Well I like Irish cream very much and when I

had finished the drink, proceeded to clean the glass out by inserting

my finger inside it and licking it - this is what I would do at home,

it never occured to me that in public one does not do this and I was

totally engrossed in this until I realised that it had gone very

quiet and looked up to find everyone watching me - it was then I

realised that what one does in private and what one does in public

and quite different things. This is not the only example, but it is

the only one I am willing to tell for the moment :-)

I can play roles, but not a social role. What I mean is, if I have a

function, a job, usaully a profesional role I can stick to that

function and carry it out to the letter, what I cannot do is change

that role into a social one. So whereas I can play professsional role

and stick to task in hand I cannot deviate to things that are to me

irrelevant like small pleasantries and social chit chat.

>

> (I still didn't do my homework, but I did clean up my room, so now

I

> deserve a break! =))

>

> ))

>

> anyways.. I just wanted to say, you really said some things which

> really make sense, both of you. I really feel with that, Tom,

that's

> how I very often feel now, 'never as good as they are', but next to

> this judgment problem I also loose sense of self when I act social,

> two reasons to hide as much as possible from people! :

>

> and then, I really have to say that your method, Leif, is

absolutely

> great, and I wish I could do that as well! be concious of it, that

I

> have a choice to moderate, without actually loosing myself, but

> somehow it doesn't (yet) work for me I loose track of who I am

> when I socialize, I don't know if I am being me or not and what

being

> me is like... it's just like I completely disapear into whatever I

am

> pretending or acting like or doing (is that me or not?? what

> is 'me'?), it just made me so confused and depressed, that I hardly

> socialize just to avoid loosing my sense of self or becoming so

> confused about what 'me' is like. I wish there was a middle way!!

But

> I seem incapable of it at the moment, when I'm with others, I can

> fake being normal to a certain degree, but then I just don't know

who

> I really am anymore. Also I compare myself to much with others. for

> example if someone has Aspie or excentric traits and shows them

> openly I become jealous or sad that I don't have the courage

showing

> myself/being myself. That is also something I have problems with,

> because how will I be able to find people who will like me for who

I

> really am, when I'm never being myself?!?!? (( this has so much

> confused me, really, ever since 2001, when I started becoming more

> social/tried being more social, I just got all these problems, and

> can't get rid of them anymore! :x

>

> arrrgh, why is my brain such a mess?!?

>

October 9, 2005

I have been told that I come across as aloof and distant and

sometimes unapproachable (and these being the kinder things I have

been accused of), which is not the case really - it mostly

relates to lack of eye contact I guess now that I have become more

aware, that and just fear of people to some extent, as I never know

what I am dealing with. It takes me some time to get used to people

and you never quite know what they are capbable of.

I have tried to improve on the eye contact since I have become aware

of my lack of it, but although I understand it theoretically I

personally get nothing from it.

When I have been in jobs involving interactions with others I too

have met bitterness, unkindness and other negative emotions with

increasing kindness and patience and strangely enough it does seem to

work.

As for asking the same question over again; in my case I do not

always understand the answer. I know I'm not thick, but if people do

not answer in a straightforward direct manner I do not always

understand the context of their answer and therefore repeat my

question as a way to seek clarification.

> Also I sometimes

> > do find eye contact threatening - it seems some people are almost

> > seeking your eyes out - like strangers - I don't want to look

into

> > some strangers eyes - to me that feels wrong.

> >

>

> yep, same here, I tend to look only very briefly into someone's

eyes

> and then look away and later on in the conversation forcing msyelf

to

> look into the person's eyes. Usually when the other talks, because

> sometimes when I force myself to look into someone's eyes I loose

> track of what I was talking about!! :x I work in the university

> library (student's job), and ok, I don't really think I come across

> as rude.. I mean, not for as far as I know.. =) ahum.. but two of

my

> colleagues do come across as rude from time to time, they might

have

> something like Asperger's, one always screams to ppl who do

something

> against the rules I think it's funny to see them react shocked

at

> that LOL and then there's my other colleague from the other uni-

> library who told me she is also sensitive to other ppl's moods for

> example, she also has irritation/stress a lot and comes across as

> rude when she's irritated/stressed. I don't mind, because I know

it's

> the stress and the fact that people interupt her each time. I do

know

> I feel irritated when I am busy with something and some customer

> interupts me, but then I try acting kind and I think most ppl don't

> notice I am irritated. But I do think I have another problem, I

think

> I might come across as 'distant' (in thoughts) also 'uninterested

in

> them' maybe? or I don't listen well enough and ask things three

times

> etc. Once a man got really pissed at me for asking for the third

time

> if he wanted me to return the books, the comforting thing is that

his

> behaviour is also downright weird! He is just the most bittered man

I

> know! He's always grumpy :[ so now I just try chearing him up by

> being extra friendly to him (actually to avoid being criticized by

> him) and it seems to work, he's becoming quite less grumpy to

me!!!

>

October 9, 2005

Gail Marie wrote:

I had an epiphany one day that being more socially adept does not make one a

good or moral person, and that I did not have to be socially adept to be a

good person. I am content with that.

Me too! Exactly the same insight! :-)

> Besides, I discovered that being a social butterfly is

not all it is cracked up to be. I have a friend who

for years thought that she had lots of friends. Then

she went through a divorce and they all disappeared.

She was shocked, as she thought they were her true

friends.

Typical.

> They did not want to be around her anymore since she

no longer was the " life of the party " and was going

through much angst with her divorce. Also, her ex

husband is from an important family in town, and some

took his side not to lose favor with these people.

Even more typical. :-(

> Who needs that? At least the few people I got in my

life who accept me are true blue. I can do without the

fair weather friends.

Right.

> I do try to be polite to people [the golden rule], but

I no longer twist myself into a pretzyl trying to be

some social creature I am not. Besides, despite all my

best efforts in the past to socially conform I still

came across as weird to people anyway, in ways that I

cannot see, so why sweat it?

LOL! Well said!

I always say that I'd rather be a good original than a bad copy. :-)

Inger

October 9, 2005

This must be an Aspie thing.

I have several sets of the same thing too. I am a contributor to my

local zoo and keep getting free T-shirts.

When I get them, they are usually the same as last year's., I wear

them all the time. So I may change shirts three times in five days,

but they are still all T-shirts with the same design.

To be honest, I think the only reason people change their clothes is

to prove to other people that they DO change their clothes and are

not dirty.

Not that I am communist or anything, but I would have no problem if I

wore the same outfit everday forever.

I do have some clothes that I wear that express my true personality,

and I wear these when I feel like I am in my element. This is mostly

when I am hiking, backpacking, gardening, and sometimes when I go to

church.

And even when I wear the same thing day in and day out that's still

an expression of myself, because it means I am not worried enough

about what anyone is thinking about me to change my clothes to a

different style.

Tom

Administrator

People have asked me if I ever change clothes and I tell them of

course: I have several sets of the same thing is all.

October 9, 2005

I cannot act social - if I try I screw up.

Perhaps we should all try to practice.

I'll start...

Hey all, how about that weather eh?

Tom

Administrator

P.S. Hang on for a moment while I run off to throw up.