Fw: Widow of Murdered Fly Seeks White House Apology

[Guest guest]

Grieving widow

Grieving widow faces uphill legal

Battle against President

WASHINGTON -- The widow of the housefly murdered by Barack Obama

During a recent CNBC television interview announced this morning

That she would be filing a wrongful death suit against the

President in federal district court. The plaintiff brief -- citing

Pain, suffering and loss of income -- seeks a formal apology and

Compensatory damages, including an unspecified quantity of shit.

" Bob was a wonderful husband and provider, " said the widow, Mrs.

Vivian Vvzzvzwwzzz, wiping tears from her compound eyes. " Even

Though he was always busy at the Rose Garden turd pile, he always

Flew home in time to tuck in our maggots. "

The 17-day old widow said the grieving process since the murder has

Taken its toll.

" Although it's been nearly 48 hours, I still get an empty feeling

In my thorax everytime I think about it, " she said. " I feel like

I've aged an entire week. Mating season is over, and here I am,

Stuck trying to raise 532 larvae on my own. "

Vvzzvzwwzzz described the " abdomen-wrenching horror " she

Experienced while watching the President casually assassinate her

Husband during the live broadcast.

" It was just before supper time and I was predigesting the evening

Shit for the kids, " she recalled. " When I looked up at the TV I saw Bob

there, and of course I was pretty excited. He started waving at

Me, and then, all of a sudden, SLAP! My whole world, my life, layed

Smashed across the back of Obama's left hand. And with 360 degree

Peripheral vision and hundreds of eye facets, it was impossible to

Look away. "

Ever since the incident, Mrs. Vvzzvzwwzzz said she had been trying

To piece her life back together.

" I just get paralyzed wondering how I'm going to raise my larvae

For the next six days, alone, without any kind of support, " she

Said. " Most days I just end up on the clung to the ceiling, numb

And crying, eating a rancid bowl of Ben & Jerry's. "

Breaking down, an emotionally distraught Vvzzvzwwzzz was comforted

By PETA President Ingrid Newkirk and ACLU President Nadine

Strossen. The two groups announced they will file an amicus brief

In the case and file a separate class action suit against the

Insecticide, flyswatter and pest strip industries, seeking over 1

Million metric tons of compensatory shit on behalf of 200 billion

Fly-Americans.

" The President's treatment of the Fly community has been extremely

Disappointing, " said Newkirk. " He almost seemed to relish his

Bloodthirsty attack on Mr. Vvzzvzwwzzz. It's obvious he's in the

Pocket of Big Manure. "

University of Tennessee law professor Glenn Reynolds said

Vvzzvzwwzzz v. Obama is likely to raise several thorny

Constitutional issues.

" The courts have a lot of questions to sort out here, " he said.

" For example, can a sitting president be forced to testify in a

Civil suit? Can he give himself immunity? How does this effect the

Rights of cooties and crab lice? Also, just how completely batshit

Insane is PETA? "

Despite the prospect of facing a challenge from the President's

Formidable legal team, Vvzzvzwwzzz said she was prepared to pursuit

It all the way to the Supreme Court.

" If Mr. Obama thinks he can shoo me away with his legal briefs and

His rolled-up New York Times, then he is sadly mistaken, " said an

Angry Vvzzvzwwzzz. " He has no idea how persistent and annoying I

Can be. I'm in this for the long haul. All the way till July, if

I'm still alive. "

Reynolds cautioned that no matter how determined the plaintiff,

Such a prolonged legal battle against the President could prove

Prohibitively expensive.

" Mrs. Vvzzvzwwzzz is likely to end up spending millions in legal

Fees, with an unknown probability of success. Even if she prevails,

The ACLU and PETA lawyers will eat 40% of her shit settlement in

Contingency fees, " he said.

Vvzzvzwwzz said she would be establishing a legal fund to help

Defray the cost of the suit, and appealed to the public for

Contributions.

" PETA has been very generous in relocating my family to a welcoming

New neighborhood filled with filthy, stoned, slow-reflexed vegans,

But we still need money for court costs, " she said. " Help meee-eee!

Help meee-ee-ee

..

[Guest guest]

Oh My Gosh this was just way to funny...

Where in the world did you find this.

Really had me laughing out loud thank you for the great laugh

Anita

________________________________

From: Malseed <rodorbal@...>

Sent: Wednesday, June 24, 2009 6:50:19 PM

Subject: [ ] Fw: Widow of Murdered Fly Seeks White House Apology

Grieving widow

Grieving widow faces uphill legal

Battle against President

WASHINGTON -- The widow of the housefly murdered by Barack Obama

During a recent CNBC television interview announced this morning

That she would be filing a wrongful death suit against the

President in federal district court. The plaintiff brief -- citing

Pain, suffering and loss of income -- seeks a formal apology and

Compensatory damages, including an unspecified quantity of shit.

" Bob was a wonderful husband and provider, " said the widow, Mrs.

Vivian Vvzzvzwwzzz, wiping tears from her compound eyes. " Even

Though he was always busy at the Rose Garden turd pile, he always

Flew home in time to tuck in our maggots. "

The 17-day old widow said the grieving process since the murder has

Taken its toll.

" Although it's been nearly 48 hours, I still get an empty feeling

In my thorax everytime I think about it, " she said. " I feel like

I've aged an entire week. Mating season is over, and here I am,

Stuck trying to raise 532 larvae on my own. "

Vvzzvzwwzzz described the " abdomen-wrenching horror " she

Experienced while watching the President casually assassinate her

Husband during the live broadcast.

" It was just before supper time and I was predigesting the evening

Shit for the kids, " she recalled. " When I looked up at the TV I saw Bob

there, and of course I was pretty excited. He started waving at

Me, and then, all of a sudden, SLAP! My whole world, my life, layed

Smashed across the back of Obama's left hand. And with 360 degree

Peripheral vision and hundreds of eye facets, it was impossible to

Look away. "

Ever since the incident, Mrs. Vvzzvzwwzzz said she had been trying

To piece her life back together.

" I just get paralyzed wondering how I'm going to raise my larvae

For the next six days, alone, without any kind of support, " she

Said. " Most days I just end up on the clung to the ceiling, numb

And crying, eating a rancid bowl of Ben & Jerry's. "

Breaking down, an emotionally distraught Vvzzvzwwzzz was comforted

By PETA President Ingrid Newkirk and ACLU President Nadine

Strossen. The two groups announced they will file an amicus brief

In the case and file a separate class action suit against the

Insecticide, flyswatter and pest strip industries, seeking over 1

Million metric tons of compensatory shit on behalf of 200 billion

Fly-Americans.

" The President's treatment of the Fly community has been extremely

Disappointing, " said Newkirk. " He almost seemed to relish his

Bloodthirsty attack on Mr. Vvzzvzwwzzz. It's obvious he's in the

Pocket of Big Manure. "

University of Tennessee law professor Glenn Reynolds said

Vvzzvzwwzzz v. Obama is likely to raise several thorny

Constitutional issues.

" The courts have a lot of questions to sort out here, " he said.

" For example, can a sitting president be forced to testify in a

Civil suit? Can he give himself immunity? How does this effect the

Rights of cooties and crab lice? Also, just how completely batshit

Insane is PETA? "

Despite the prospect of facing a challenge from the President's

Formidable legal team, Vvzzvzwwzzz said she was prepared to pursuit

It all the way to the Supreme Court.

" If Mr. Obama thinks he can shoo me away with his legal briefs and

His rolled-up New York Times, then he is sadly mistaken, " said an

Angry Vvzzvzwwzzz. " He has no idea how persistent and annoying I

Can be. I'm in this for the long haul. All the way till July, if

I'm still alive. "

Reynolds cautioned that no matter how determined the plaintiff,

Such a prolonged legal battle against the President could prove

Prohibitively expensive.

" Mrs. Vvzzvzwwzzz is likely to end up spending millions in legal

Fees, with an unknown probability of success. Even if she prevails,

The ACLU and PETA lawyers will eat 40% of her shit settlement in

Contingency fees, " he said.

Vvzzvzwwzz said she would be establishing a legal fund to help

Defray the cost of the suit, and appealed to the public for

Contributions.

" PETA has been very generous in relocating my family to a welcoming

New neighborhood filled with filthy, stoned, slow-reflexed vegans,

But we still need money for court costs, " she said. " Help meee-eee!

Help meee-ee-ee

...

[Guest guest]

Hi Anita - it was on a dog list I am on....it just constantly amazes me how

people think this up and I won't go down the swine fly path.....!

Regards,

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of anita

Sent: Thursday, 25 June 2009 12:10 PM

Subject: Re: [ ] Fw: Widow of Murdered Fly Seeks White House Apology

Oh My Gosh this was just way to funny...

Where in the world did you find this.

Really had me laughing out loud thank you for the great laugh

Anita

________________________________

From: Malseed <rodorbal@...

<mailto:rodorbal%40westvic.com.au> >

<mailto:%40>

Sent: Wednesday, June 24, 2009 6:50:19 PM

Subject: [ ] Fw: Widow of Murdered Fly Seeks White House Apology

Grieving widow

Grieving widow faces uphill legal

Battle against President

WASHINGTON -- The widow of the housefly murdered by Barack Obama

During a recent CNBC television interview announced this morning

That she would be filing a wrongful death suit against the

President in federal district court. The plaintiff brief -- citing

Pain, suffering and loss of income -- seeks a formal apology and

Compensatory damages, including an unspecified quantity of shit.

" Bob was a wonderful husband and provider, " said the widow, Mrs.

Vivian Vvzzvzwwzzz, wiping tears from her compound eyes. " Even

Though he was always busy at the Rose Garden turd pile, he always

Flew home in time to tuck in our maggots. "

The 17-day old widow said the grieving process since the murder has

Taken its toll.

" Although it's been nearly 48 hours, I still get an empty feeling

In my thorax everytime I think about it, " she said. " I feel like

I've aged an entire week. Mating season is over, and here I am,

Stuck trying to raise 532 larvae on my own. "

Vvzzvzwwzzz described the " abdomen-wrenching horror " she

Experienced while watching the President casually assassinate her

Husband during the live broadcast.

" It was just before supper time and I was predigesting the evening

Shit for the kids, " she recalled. " When I looked up at the TV I saw Bob

there, and of course I was pretty excited. He started waving at

Me, and then, all of a sudden, SLAP! My whole world, my life, layed

Smashed across the back of Obama's left hand. And with 360 degree

Peripheral vision and hundreds of eye facets, it was impossible to

Look away. "

Ever since the incident, Mrs. Vvzzvzwwzzz said she had been trying

To piece her life back together.

" I just get paralyzed wondering how I'm going to raise my larvae

For the next six days, alone, without any kind of support, " she

Said. " Most days I just end up on the clung to the ceiling, numb

And crying, eating a rancid bowl of Ben & Jerry's. "

Breaking down, an emotionally distraught Vvzzvzwwzzz was comforted

By PETA President Ingrid Newkirk and ACLU President Nadine

Strossen. The two groups announced they will file an amicus brief

In the case and file a separate class action suit against the

Insecticide, flyswatter and pest strip industries, seeking over 1

Million metric tons of compensatory shit on behalf of 200 billion

Fly-Americans.

" The President's treatment of the Fly community has been extremely

Disappointing, " said Newkirk. " He almost seemed to relish his

Bloodthirsty attack on Mr. Vvzzvzwwzzz. It's obvious he's in the

Pocket of Big Manure. "

University of Tennessee law professor Glenn Reynolds said

Vvzzvzwwzzz v. Obama is likely to raise several thorny

Constitutional issues.

" The courts have a lot of questions to sort out here, " he said.

" For example, can a sitting president be forced to testify in a

Civil suit? Can he give himself immunity? How does this effect the

Rights of cooties and crab lice? Also, just how completely batshit

Insane is PETA? "

Despite the prospect of facing a challenge from the President's

Formidable legal team, Vvzzvzwwzzz said she was prepared to pursuit

It all the way to the Supreme Court.

" If Mr. Obama thinks he can shoo me away with his legal briefs and

His rolled-up New York Times, then he is sadly mistaken, " said an

Angry Vvzzvzwwzzz. " He has no idea how persistent and annoying I

Can be. I'm in this for the long haul. All the way till July, if

I'm still alive. "

Reynolds cautioned that no matter how determined the plaintiff,

Such a prolonged legal battle against the President could prove

Prohibitively expensive.

" Mrs. Vvzzvzwwzzz is likely to end up spending millions in legal

Fees, with an unknown probability of success. Even if she prevails,

The ACLU and PETA lawyers will eat 40% of her shit settlement in

Contingency fees, " he said.

Vvzzvzwwzz said she would be establishing a legal fund to help

Defray the cost of the suit, and appealed to the public for

Contributions.

" PETA has been very generous in relocating my family to a welcoming

New neighborhood filled with filthy, stoned, slow-reflexed vegans,

But we still need money for court costs, " she said. " Help meee-eee!

Help meee-ee-ee

...

[Guest guest]

LOL I hear ya about the swine flu path.....

well thank you for posting it and all the other funnies I love reading them.. I

am always up for a good laugh.

Anita

________________________________

From: Malseed <rodorbal@...>

Sent: Wednesday, June 24, 2009 11:36:39 PM

Subject: RE: [ ] Fw: Widow of Murdered Fly Seeks White House Apology

Hi Anita - it was on a dog list I am on....it just constantly amazes me how

people think this up and I won't go down the swine fly path.....!

Regards,

From: groups (DOT) com [mailto:groups (DOT) com] On Behalf Of anita

Sent: Thursday, 25 June 2009 12:10 PM

groups (DOT) com

Subject: Re: [ ] Fw: Widow of Murdered Fly Seeks White House Apology

Oh My Gosh this was just way to funny...

Where in the world did you find this.

Really had me laughing out loud thank you for the great laugh

Anita

____________ _________ _________ __

From: Malseed <rodorbalwestvic (DOT) com.au

<mailto:rodorbal% 40westvic. com.au> >

groups (DOT) com <mailto:% 40groups. com>

Sent: Wednesday, June 24, 2009 6:50:19 PM

Subject: [ ] Fw: Widow of Murdered Fly Seeks White House Apology

Grieving widow

Grieving widow faces uphill legal

Battle against President

...