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Dear Peggy,

Glad is getting to go home. I think having a child with cml or any

other dread disease is so stressful to a parent that they would prefer to have

the disease themselves rather than see their child jump through the hoops. It

is really difficult for a child of any age to understand what is happening to

them, and how do you explain it to them anyway?

We never told our child he was ADHD, but we can talk to him about him now that

he is an adult and believe me, there were some fun and happy times. He knew

somehow that he was different and was treated differently. We tried to be a

buffer to shield him and had little private parties for him, so he would not be

left out, but no one ever reciprocated. I met one other mother of anr ADHD

child and we formed a union and made a pact that if one of us passed away that

the other would look after their child. We were very sincere about it, we had a

road map.

You are such a thoughtful mom to ask for help, because you know you can't do

it alone. I hope your social worker at the hospital where was admitted

can offer you and him some peace and I hope we are able to give you hope. Hope

is like putting gas in the tank, to make engine run. When our son's neurologist

told us he would always be dependent on us, I was hellbent on proving him wrong.

Today he has a regular job and we encouraged him to buy a home. He is happy to

be on his own, but it took 40 years to

get that " empty nest " . By the time gets to that age, I know that there

will be a cure for this disease, hopefully sooner. The mere word " leukemia " was

enough to send shivers down anyone's spine, but we are a lot more advanced than

14 years ago when there was little to no hope. I hope will learn to

conquor his fears and through association with the masses of people who are here

to give him encouragement, and to believe he can have a normal life.

Most of the time we focus on the patient, when it is the caregiver who needs

help. There are websites for them, too. I hope you can find a group that will

have some sage advice for you. Barb Neddo comes to mind, she has a son who had

a BMT. We know through her so much about her young son, Tom that I sometimes

feel we have met in the past. He is doing just fine and getting on with his

life. I hope the same goes for you.

Hands & hearts,

Lottie Duthu

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