crash

[Guest guest]

--Jami: maybe you had a little virus. Have a great final week, be

careful of grains and diary this last week--they tend to bloat you

and you want a nice waist for photos. Most importantly is have fun

and be very proud of your accomplishments--sooo smile big! Hope your

Dad is OK. " Taz "

- In bodyforlifeegroups, " Jami " <jdaubjazz@a...> wrote:

> Hi everyone,

>

> I'm in Week 11 (woo hoo!), Day 2, and I had a horrible day today.

> I woke up at noon (remember, I'm a musician!), had some

> coffee, got on the stairmaster around 1:45pm, did 30 minutes,

> painted a desk, ate a Pure Protein Bar around 3:45 (so this was

> my first meal), and then went to Home Depot w/my girlfriend. I

> got really dizzy in the store and felt very sick. She got me some

> grapefruit juice, and that didn't help, so we left and went to a

> deli,

> and I had a tuna sandwich on wheat...I know, the mayo's a killer,

> but I didn't know what else to do. I never felt 100% all day, and

> I'm going to bed now. Where did I go wrong? Not eating until

> 3:45?

>

> Oh, well...Wednesday's a new day.

>

> And I'm almost done w/my first challenge! Will be testing body

> fat next week...I'm going to Dallas to be w/my dad while he has

> back surgery, so my last week will be out of town. I'll be looking

> for a YMCA, and hopefully they can test my body fat.

>

> Peace,

> Jami

[Guest guest]

Hi Tess

I know exactly what you mean by a lack of balance in life. At the moment I

am in remission from my RA and the sticks are standing in the corner, the

wheelchair is folded and pushed out of sight and the strong painkillers are

put away. Oh, how I wish it could always be like this. But, even though I

am fairly well at the moment I am, in my mind, waiting for that first twinge,

so it is hard to forget it for a while.

Last Tuesday my doctor started me on Meloxicam, but my remission started the

day before I went to see him so I can`t say how good they are yet. Yes, I

think it is a cruel illness which gives you false hopes at times. I think

we have to enjoy ourselves when we can and find less demanding things to do

when we are ill. Like someone on this list said, `think of what you CAN do

and not what you can`t`, but it is hard at times.

I think it does you good to have a good cry now and then Tess, and it is

normal to feel sorry for ourselves and what we have lost. RA is a life

changing illness and it is hard to keep smiling all the time. My mountain

bike is hung up on a wall bracket (above where I keep my wheelchair!) and I

am not ready to think that I will never zoom though the woods again. Who

knows, I may! I do get very depressed and tearful when I am ill and think

that I will end up confined to my wheelchair for good because is is hard to

think positive.

Following my last flare-up, which seemed to go on forever, I find my muscles

are weak and give way without warning. Yesterday I dropped a kettle of hot

water when my upper arm gave way. Luckily no-one or the dogs were hurt.

Has anyone else had this happen?

I hope that you feel better soon Tess.

Hugs

Sue

[Guest guest]

Tess ( dear )

I understand entirely where you're coming from. I have these

roller-coaster up and down days myself. When we are having fun and doing things

that make us happy....We tend to overlook our illness and even some of our

pain...Which is very good...Just wish we could stay on a high all the time...But

then reality sets in and its back to the real life and we crash.

I thought your little Cabana boy joke was cute....It showed your happiness at

that time. Please don't apologize for feeling sillyand being emotionally happy .

Do it more often. :-)

Tess, You seem like such a nice Christian lady, I enjoy your posts so

much....I sympathize with you feeling this way, cause I've been there many

times. I'm so sorry you've got the blues today...I hope they'll go away soon.

Tess , Just think of all the group here that love and appreciate you....You

don't have to cry alone. We're all here for you. See if you can take a nap and

wake up feeling better. I sure hope so !!

A comforting hug ((((Tess ))))

Gail

[ ] crash

Dear Friends...a little mood swing here. I've noticed that when I've

had a few days of fun interaction with people I love and feel really

happy emotionally, I tend to " crash " emotionally over the next couple

days. I'm sitting here crying, and was thinking WHY? Gee whiz, I had a

lot of wonderful experiences in the past few days. Today, my

self-esteem is yucky & self-critical...I feel bad about my cabana boy

joke, though last nght I enjoyed just being silly!

I think I feel sad cause cause I can only do a lot of life in spurts.

It's almost like being teased with a " normal " (whatever that is) life

for a few days then back to reality. I don't know what it's like to

live a life of equilibrium, balance. It's either feast or famine, in a

sense. Can I learn to live a more balanced life with the

pain/fatigue/stiffness/IBS/sadness always hiding around the corner ready

to jump out and go BOO when I least expect it? I HAVE to believe I can!

Do you all feel this way too?

Love...

Tess

[Guest guest]

Dear Gail...Thank you so much, I REALLY needed your sweet words of

encouragement. God bless you bunches.

Much Love...

Tess

[Guest guest]

>Tess, sorry you are having such a bad day, know the feeling, I found

myself setting here at the computer this morning crying and feeling

sorry for myself. I too have a problem with self-esteem, it really

slows me down. I do have my husband but he is so wrapped up in being

upset with the way the company he works for to be concerned with me.

See what I mean. You are such a sweet person I hate it that your

having a bad day and you were so cute last night.

I hope you are feeling better soon, you have something alot of people

lack and that is personality.

Your neighbor to the North and almost twin. in WA

I do enjoy reading your posts.

[Guest guest]

Dear ...I'm sending a cyber-hanky for your tears. I know all this

is part & parcel with these illnesses...but yuck. Thanks for being a

sweet friend.

Your Neighbor & Almost Twin...

Tess

[Guest guest]

Ah Tess....you can use my shoulder hon....I really

think we need these good bawls...honestly .....I

believe it gets the mess out of the system....that is

the only thing I can figure....some days just someone

looking at me funny can have me bawling...as far as

the low self esteem......you come across as one of the

most decent people......so keep repeating to

yourself....I am a wonderful person...everyone thinks

so.....my father used to have this little ditty it

made me so mad when he said it because he really

believed he was great....here goes....I love myself

...I think Im grand ...I go the movies and hold my own

hand.....it goes on but I wont bore you.....you could

try it....Tess...we love you and think you are

great......and the offer for a shoulder

stands......((((((((hugs)))))))) Kathi in OK

--- Tess_St_Pierre@... wrote:

> Dear Friends...a little mood swing here. I've

> noticed that when I've

> had a few days of fun interaction with people I love

> and feel really

> happy emotionally, I tend to " crash " emotionally

> over the next couple

> days. I'm sitting here crying, and was thinking

> WHY? Gee whiz, I had a

> lot of wonderful experiences in the past few days.

> Today, my

> self-esteem is yucky & self-critical...I feel bad

> about my cabana boy

> joke, though last nght I enjoyed just being silly!

>

> I think I feel sad cause cause I can only do a lot

> of life in spurts.

> It's almost like being teased with a " normal "

> (whatever that is) life

> for a few days then back to reality. I don't know

> what it's like to

> live a life of equilibrium, balance. It's either

> feast or famine, in a

> sense. Can I learn to live a more balanced life

> with the

> pain/fatigue/stiffness/IBS/sadness always hiding

> around the corner ready

> to jump out and go BOO when I least expect it? I

> HAVE to believe I can!

> Do you all feel this way too?

>

> Love...

>

> Tess

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Tess,

I am so sorry to hear that you are down. Try to hang in there. I

think I speak for all of us when I say it is very common to go

through these feelings. There are times I feel I am useless to my

family. I am fortunate that I am still able to work full time, but it

takes all my strength to get through the day.

Don't ever apologize for having a sense of humor. It's one of our

most important traits and one I find critical when dealing with the

pain and stress of illness. I am sure you offended no one.

I guess what I am saying is you are not alone. There are many of us

that know how you feel and are here for you. I am sure you will be

offering many of us much help and support down the road. That's what

I like about this group. Everyone is going through so much, but are

all there for each other. That's the true mark of friendship and

family.

Thinking of you,

Al

> Dear Friends...a little mood swing here. I've noticed that when

I've

> had a few days of fun interaction with people I love and feel really

> happy emotionally, I tend to " crash " emotionally over the next

couple

> days. I'm sitting here crying, and was thinking WHY? Gee whiz, I

had a

> lot of wonderful experiences in the past few days. Today, my

> self-esteem is yucky & self-critical...I feel bad about my cabana

boy

> joke, though last nght I enjoyed just being silly!

>

> I think I feel sad cause cause I can only do a lot of life in

spurts.

> It's almost like being teased with a " normal " (whatever that is)

life

> for a few days then back to reality. I don't know what it's like to

> live a life of equilibrium, balance. It's either feast or famine,

in a

> sense. Can I learn to live a more balanced life with the

> pain/fatigue/stiffness/IBS/sadness always hiding around the corner

ready

> to jump out and go BOO when I least expect it? I HAVE to believe I

can!

> Do you all feel this way too?

>

> Love...

>

> Tess

[Guest guest]

Hi Kathi...thanks for the shoulder and the sweet words! You are my

okie-angel!

Love & Hugs...

Tess

[Guest guest]

((((((((((((((Tess))))))))))))))))))))

I think we all go through that melancholy feeling once in a while. I know

when my family comes to visit, or I go to visit them, I go through about a

week of crying afterward. I'm very close with them. It's kind of the same

thing, like " now I'm back to reality " . I've been working on trying to have

a more balanced life. I'm still coming to terms with having RA, though. I'

m trying to find new interests (like trading futures), but I know I've been

neglecting other areas of my life (like my marriage). I get wrapped up in

my pain, and don't want to talk or do anything. Balance is certainly a

tough thing to achieve with RA, but even without RA it's not easy. I guess

it's just one more area of our lives where we have to work twice as hard at

it.

Tess, you are the sweetest, kindest person. You shouldn't feel bad about

your cabana boy joke. It was wonderful, and a reflection on how happy you

were yesterday. It gave me a big grin, to know you were feeling so good. I

wish I could make your " blue mood " end sooner, but know you're in my

prayers.

Love and hugs,

Carol

[ ] crash

Dear Friends...a little mood swing here. I've noticed that when I've

had a few days of fun interaction with people I love and feel really

happy emotionally, I tend to " crash " emotionally over the next couple

days. I'm sitting here crying, and was thinking WHY? Gee whiz, I had a

lot of wonderful experiences in the past few days. Today, my

self-esteem is yucky & self-critical...I feel bad about my cabana boy

joke, though last nght I enjoyed just being silly!

I think I feel sad cause cause I can only do a lot of life in spurts.

It's almost like being teased with a " normal " (whatever that is) life

for a few days then back to reality. I don't know what it's like to

live a life of equilibrium, balance. It's either feast or famine, in a

sense. Can I learn to live a more balanced life with the

pain/fatigue/stiffness/IBS/sadness always hiding around the corner ready

to jump out and go BOO when I least expect it? I HAVE to believe I can!

Do you all feel this way too?

Love...

Tess

[Guest guest]

tess i totally understand how you feel. please hang in there and we will all

pray for better days. i told this guy today i haven't been to the movies in

over 5 year, on a date in 3, or any outings because i don't want to spoil

others good times. then my dad says i just don't want to. then i cry for days

thinking i am just throwing away my life. it is just flying by. try to rest

and feel better soon. kathy in il

[Guest guest]

Hi Tess:

Sorry you are feeling low. The ups and downs - been

there and done that kiddo! You just have to take one

day at a time with this illness - when you feel good,

enjoy, when you don't, just try and cope with it.

Hang in there -

Kathe in CA

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Dear Sue...Thank you for the kind letter. You made so much sense. I

think because I wanted SO badly to enjoy all my family & birthday

activities that somehow I did almost dissociate from the crummy way I

was feeling physically. Then today...crash.

My right arm, elbow are really weak, and I picked up a glass today and

whoops...it was like it weighed 1000 pounds and I couldn't hold it...so

I know what you're talking about.

I hope someday you can mountain bike again, Sue. We gotta have hope!

Thanks for your friendship.

Hugs...

Tess

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Al. You are right, and I am grateful I don't have to go through

this alone, but sad that you all experience this struggle, too. Thank

you for your sweet & encouraging note.

Hugs...

Tess

[Guest guest]

Hi Kathe...yes, one day at a time for sure! Thank you for the

encourgement & understanding.

Love...

Tess

[Guest guest]

Hi Sue..glad to hear you're out of a big flare :-( I just got over one, had a

couple of days off so to speak and now I'm back into another one. It seems that

it is becoming a shorter and shorter length of time between them these days. At

any rate yes..I do know what you mean about dropping things! This has become a

daily experience for me now and I must remind myself when having a cup of tea to

make sure I'm holding onto it otherwise.. well you know the rest of it. Thank

goodness you and your dogs weren't scalded when you dropped your kettle. I think

I've seen something called a pot tipper..that might not be just the name but

close...I can't navigate draining pots anymore either. DO take care next time

and I'll remind myself of the same.

marrielle

Re: [ ] crash

>Following my last flare-up, which seemed to go on forever, I find my muscles

are weak and give way without warning. Yesterday I dropped a kettle of hot

water when my upper arm gave way. Luckily no-one or the dogs were hurt.

Has anyone else had this happen?

Hugs

Sue

[Guest guest]

Sue, Sorry to hear about you dropping the hot water.....I have 2 cats and one

likes to be near me all the time when I am in the kitchen(he wants whatever

meat we are having). I swear he becomes a rag by just lying down by my feet

at the worst times .He is so lucky he hasnt been there when I drop glass and

break it....or food from freezer or oven.I call those my plastic days.....I

tend to use only plastic dishes and glasses on those days.....Hope you

improve and be careful with the hot stuff....Judy in AZ

[Guest guest]

Hi Sue, yes I relate to the dropping after a flare...I spilled so much

coffee at the end of the last flare, I went shopping for a coffee colored t

shirt instead of my full wardrobe of coffee drip stained shirts...It is hard

to go through the roller coaster of emotions of flares and pre-flares...I

always seem more moody a few days before the pain and stiffness hit hard...I

cried because my tomato plants weren't blossoming....I am a city girl and

last year was the first time I planted tomatoes...my friends had great

laughs at my expense last year because I came to work complaining all I was

getting in my tomato plants was real little blossoms of small flowers...I

picked them all off because I wanted tomatoes not flowers...now that I am an

enlightened gardener...I am getting no flowers...it through me into the

pits...I'm better now..but that is how the flares hit my emotions...don't

mean to sound philosophical...but those tomato plants are like life...a

process that has to be gone through...not around, or pushed; but hour by

hour, day by day. Some days are good, and when they are not...I know it is

a process of this RA I have to go through... " " I am woman..hear me roar "

sometimes that is a proud roar..sometimes it is a cry..that's what life

is...I'm sorry for the times we have all experienced that are down...but

around the corner, it really does get better..for awhile, until thenext

flare. How many times have you said that to others...It is ok to be where

we are at themoment...the core of who we are does not have to change because

of how I feel today. I too have tried to find new activities...I'm not

artistic of craftsy, but have found enoyment in other things...I used to

have a great coin collection until it got stolen....I keep trying to start a

new one; but drop so many coins and can't get to the floor to pick them

up...the coin collection just seems like work...not enjoyment..so, I am

trying other activities...like this computer and this support group. I

really appreciate all the neat people and things that are said...thanks,

marge

Re: [ ] crash

> Hi Tess

>

> I know exactly what you mean by a lack of balance in life. At the moment

I

> am in remission from my RA and the sticks are standing in the corner, the

> wheelchair is folded and pushed out of sight and the strong painkillers

are

> put away. Oh, how I wish it could always be like this. But, even

though I

> am fairly well at the moment I am, in my mind, waiting for that first

twinge,

> so it is hard to forget it for a while.

>

> Last Tuesday my doctor started me on Meloxicam, but my remission started

the

> day before I went to see him so I can`t say how good they are yet. Yes,

I

> think it is a cruel illness which gives you false hopes at times. I

think

> we have to enjoy ourselves when we can and find less demanding things to

do

> when we are ill. Like someone on this list said, `think of what you CAN

do

> and not what you can`t`, but it is hard at times.

>

> I think it does you good to have a good cry now and then Tess, and it is

> normal to feel sorry for ourselves and what we have lost. RA is a life

> changing illness and it is hard to keep smiling all the time. My

mountain

> bike is hung up on a wall bracket (above where I keep my wheelchair!) and

I

> am not ready to think that I will never zoom though the woods again. Who

> knows, I may! I do get very depressed and tearful when I am ill and

think

> that I will end up confined to my wheelchair for good because is is hard

to

> think positive.

>

> Following my last flare-up, which seemed to go on forever, I find my

muscles

> are weak and give way without warning. Yesterday I dropped a kettle of

hot

> water when my upper arm gave way. Luckily no-one or the dogs were hurt.

> Has anyone else had this happen?

>

> I hope that you feel better soon Tess.

>

> Hugs

> Sue

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Dear Kathy...I'll be praying for better days for us all. God bless you,

sweet lady.

Hugs Always...

Tess

[Guest guest]

Hi Marge

You really must leave the flowers on your tomato plants if you want tomatoes!

I think that the reason for my last flare-up was the stress of not being able

to travel to the Czech Republic to go to my son`s wedding. I was really

upset about that.

When I have a flare-up coming my joints start to tingle and itch, and then I

have pain in one joint and within an hour the pain has spread to all of them.

I can feel it spreading around my body.

I think I have been a little better since giving up coffee and coke, but it

is hit and miss. More embarrassing is that because the base of my spine is

affected I am sometimes incontinent and have to wear the appropiate

underwear. Does anyone else have this problem? I do hope that I am not

the only one! It took a lot of nerve to come out with that!

But I think that the main thing is to love ourselves and accept any

disability as a part of us. Then we have room in our minds to love other

people and their disabilities. I know it is hard at times, when we are

racked with pain and feeling low but it does help. I mean, we don`t stop

loving our children when they are behaving like little demons!

Hugs

Sue

[Guest guest]

Thank you Judy. My dogs are two Cavelier King Spaniels and one of

them, Sam, is usually at my feet all the time. But I just thank God that he

was`nt there when I dropped the kettle. I too tend to use plastic plates

etc.... To be honest I have difficulty lifted an ordinary dinner plate at

times. I also have one of those cups with a spout for the really bad times.

I feel silly but at least it does`nt matter if I drop it! I also use

cutlery with the fat handles all the time because even when I am OK I am not

putting too much strain on damaged knuckles.

Hugs

Sue

[Guest guest]

<<.... To be honest I have difficulty lifted an ordinary dinner plate at

times. >>

This past flare I've dropped a plate and a cup, both broken.

Hugs,

Carol

Re: [ ] crash

Thank you Judy. My dogs are two Cavelier King Spaniels and one of

them, Sam, is usually at my feet all the time. But I just thank God that he

was`nt there when I dropped the kettle. I too tend to use plastic plates

etc.... To be honest I have difficulty lifted an ordinary dinner plate at

times. I also have one of those cups with a spout for the really bad

times.

I feel silly but at least it does`nt matter if I drop it! I also use

cutlery with the fat handles all the time because even when I am OK I am not

putting too much strain on damaged knuckles.

Hugs

Sue

[Guest guest]

Hello Sue..my lower spine is affected as well with OA. I haven't had a problem

with incontinency yet but.. many women experience difficulty in this area just

from becoming peri or post menopausal. I'm glad there are more convenient

choices available these days to deal with it even if it's not exactly what one

would wish for. I agree with you that loving and accepting ourselves and our

disabilities is a sensible and sound decision to make. In reference to your

comparision to loving our children..if we treated ourselves half as well as we

treat them then we'd be making progress!! Have a wonderful day Sue..

marrielle

Re: [ ] crash

>More embarrassing is that because the base of my spine is

affected I am sometimes incontinent and have to wear the appropiate

underwear. Does anyone else have this problem? I do hope that I am not

the only one! It took a lot of nerve to come out with that!

But I think that the main thing is to love ourselves and accept any

disability as a part of us. Then we have room in our minds to love other

people and their disabilities. I know it is hard at times, when we are

racked with pain and feeling low but it does help. I mean, we don`t stop

loving our children when they are behaving like little demons!

Hugs

Sue

[Guest guest]

Tess... I know how you feel. I have my ups and downs. Along with RA, I also

have depression. But you can get through it and you have all of us there to

help you on...

Colleen

>From: Kathe Sabetzadeh <lv2ryd@...>

>Reply-

>

>Subject: Re: [ ] crash

>Date: Tue, 23 Jul 2002 15:37:30 -0700 (PDT)

>

>Hi Tess:

>

>Sorry you are feeling low. The ups and downs - been

>there and done that kiddo! You just have to take one

>day at a time with this illness - when you feel good,

>enjoy, when you don't, just try and cope with it.

>Hang in there -

>

>Kathe in CA

>

>__________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

i've broken several plates. now all i have left is my stonewear. sometimes

they are sooooo heavy. kathy in il