Thanks Lottie

[Guest guest]

Thanks Lottie,

  I am having too many medical problems to have much of a life right now. I

don't go anywhere unless it's to a dang Dr. I feel like crap all the time and

yes, I am very depressed. I hope everyone else is having better luck than me.

Blessings,

[Guest guest]

,

I remember oh so well the depression.

I had it bad. Would talk to my Dr and he would say you are alive and

have no reason to be depressed.

Well that would really anger me. But I

still fought boughts of depression.

We have a 2 story and I would not

go upstairs once I come down till night fall.

Some days I would pass

the stairs and have a very vivid image of me running up stairs get the

pistol and BANG.

And see the results. I would sit down cry and pray the

devil to get away get out of my house you are not welcome here.

This

was an ongoing battle for months on end.

Finally the images went away.

Still have emotional ups and downs.

Some days I would just cry and cry

without a reason. I still have those moments but pass it off

as another side effect guess Sprycel messes with the hormones too.

I have discussed this with my Dr's time and time again but no one want to look

further into it.

Thank God the severity of the depression went away. And I do my best

to remind myself of all the wonderful blessings I have in my life and

that I do have a life. Sure I do not have an abundance of energy and

the joint and muscle pains are sometimes almost unbearable. That is the

days I take pain pills if there is something I want to do.

The lesson I learned is I do not have to accomplish anything in one day so what

if I do not get back up stairs to make a bed and if I only get the laundry

washed and dried it will wait for another day to get it put away. For holiday

when all are here it took me a whole week to dust the down stairs and two whole

days to get the floor mopped and swept. I did get it accomplished. And the

wonderful part is I am here to enjoy the holidays and watch my grand babies.

I remember sleeping for several months in the beginning. Walking to the bath

room was a major ordeal. But I made it.

Do not put a time line on yourself and stop being hard on your self. Your body

is having a great big fight with this disease and needs to take all the breaks

you can give yourself whether emotionally or physically.

God Bless you give yourself a break.

Anita

________________________________

From: <wendyphillips54@...>

Sent: Saturday, September 5, 2009 9:58:55 AM

Subject: [ ] Thanks Lottie

Thanks Lottie,

I am having too many medical problems to have much of a life right now. I

don't go anywhere unless it's to a dang Dr. I feel like crap all the time and

yes, I am very depressed. I hope everyone else is having better luck than me.

Blessings,

[Guest guest]

,

I'm very sorry you are having so many health issues and the depression..If you

ever want to talk privately please feel free to contact me..I have alot of

health issues also(outside CML)so I can relate to how/what you are feeling..

Take care and hope you feel better soon..

SharonS

In , <wendyphillips54@...> wrote:

>

> Thanks Lottie,

>   I am having too many medical problems to have much of a life right now. I

don't go anywhere unless it's to a dang Dr. I feel like crap all the time and

yes, I am very depressed. I hope everyone else is having better luck than me.

> Blessings,

>

>

>

>

>

>