Re: Quick help tonight? DD stuck on chair...

[Guest guest]

Can you lighten the mood by playing around with this? With my child, I

might pretend to pull as hard as I could but not be able to budge

her-- " nope, this time you really *are* stuck " --push and pull the beanbag

chair with her in it down the hall and into the bathroom so she can brush

her teeth etc. to get ready for bed, maybe the grand finale is I dump her

*and* the beanbag chair into bed :-) Cover her and the bag up, go through

whatever routine you have, act as though this is all very normal LOL, tell

her how nice she's not stuck to the couch tonight since it's so much heavier

than the beanbag, ask her if she'll consider getting stuck to something with

wheels tomorrow night since your back has been playing up... You get the

idea. At some point the doom, gloom, seriousness of this small setback will

start to dissipate if you can marshal your effort to not take it so to

heart. She ought to start giggling at some point, OCD *is* ludicrous some

times.

Easier said than done I know at bedtime when all are tired, some are

sleeping, and it just seems entirely unfair that anyone has to deal with OCD

at this point. Been there, done that though, don't get too discouraged

since bedtime is such a common time for our kids' anxiety to rise and they

have less reserves at this point.

Re exposure, I think it's better to break the current situation into

something doable rather than make deals about tomorrow. Reason being that

tomorrow, knowing she has to live up to the deal will probably make her more

anxious than usual--less likely to succeed. And you really want your dd to

win with an exposure, not OCD.

Take care,

Kathy R. in Indiana

----- Original Message -----

From: " musicgirl9395 " <musicgirl9395@...>

> It is happening again. My daughter is stuck on the bean bag chair in

> her room. She wants us to help her up. SHe is trying so hard to get

> us to do this, and we are not. She is negotiating so much. She wants

> us just to touch her with one finger and she'll get up. And tomorrow

> she'll do it herself. What do we do? IS it exposure to do it

> slowly? In my mind, I just don't want to do anything. Meanwhile, my

> son is trying to sleep. What do I do? She is really fussing now.????

> Ellen

[Guest guest]

What about having her get partially off the chair

(half-way) and then you'll touch her? Do you think

that would that be helpful in moving her toward doing

it herself?

Tess

--- musicgirl9395 <musicgirl9395@...> wrote:

> It is happening again. My daughter is stuck on the

> bean bag chair in

> her room. She wants us to help her up. SHe is

> trying so hard to get

> us to do this, and we are not. She is negotiating

> so much. She wants

> us just to touch her with one finger and she'll get

> up. And tomorrow

> she'll do it herself. What do we do? IS it

> exposure to do it

> slowly? In my mind, I just don't want to do

> anything. Meanwhile, my

> son is trying to sleep. What do I do? She is

> really fussing now.????

> Ellen

>

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I sent a reply, but it hasn't shown up so I'll try

again. Hopefully only one will go through!

I'm wondering if having your daughter get half-way off

the beanbag herself would help. Maybe each night

getting further and further off until she can do it

herself? I don't know if that would be an effective

exposure. I might have her sit on the beanbag at

various times of the day practicing getting off of it

herself.

I know the frustration of these exposures!!!! We just

started on 7s tonight and it was very very difficult

for my son (and me too because I had to injest half a

container of Velamints!!!! Yuck!!!!). He spent a full

hour squirming on the couch, hyperventilating and

saying he couldn't do it. At one time he yelled " 10 "

(as in anxiety level) and tried to run out of the room

but I convinced him to stay. He also talked nonstop

(that was his distraction). Finally toward the end he

did start to relax and breath deeply. He never did

make it down to a 4 (that's the goal), but I think he

started at 7, worked up to a 8 and maybe 9 and then

appeared to be down to about a 5. Maybe things will be

easier tomorrow.

Good luck tonight!

Tess

--- musicgirl9395 <musicgirl9395@...> wrote:

> It is happening again. My daughter is stuck on the

> bean bag chair in

> her room. She wants us to help her up. SHe is

> trying so hard to get

> us to do this, and we are not. She is negotiating

> so much. She wants

> us just to touch her with one finger and she'll get

> up. And tomorrow

> she'll do it herself. What do we do? IS it

> exposure to do it

> slowly? In my mind, I just don't want to do

> anything. Meanwhile, my

> son is trying to sleep. What do I do? She is

> really fussing now.????

> Ellen

>

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

LOL Tess, so how low did *your* fear thermometer fall as you were eating the

Velamints? :-) What on earth are you two working on that includes mints?

OCD would be hilarious if it weren't so sad...

Quite seriously, your boy seems to be working very hard to beat back his OCD

monster. You must be very proud of him and his determination.

Kathy R. in Indiana

----- Original Message -----

From: <comtesse_de_provence@...>

>snip<

> I know the frustration of these exposures!!!! We just

> started on 7s tonight and it was very very difficult

> for my son (and me too because I had to injest half a

> container of Velamints!!!! Yuck!!!!). He spent a full

> hour squirming on the couch, hyperventilating and

> saying he couldn't do it. At one time he yelled " 10 "

> (as in anxiety level) and tried to run out of the room

> but I convinced him to stay. He also talked nonstop

> (that was his distraction). Finally toward the end he

> did start to relax and breath deeply. He never did

> make it down to a 4 (that's the goal), but I think he

> started at 7, worked up to a 8 and maybe 9 and then

> appeared to be down to about a 5. Maybe things will be

> easier tomorrow.