Re: Mom's voice is like OCD's voice?

March 9, 2006

Lynn

I got a headache just THINKING about what you said! It does come across

like a vicious circle, doesn't it?

My 2 cents, for what it's worth, would be to do as you suggested - don't

tell him anything at all. Force him to make all those decisions himself with

no

input from you at all.

My daughter has a horrible time making decisions or committing - constantly

fearing making the wrong choice. Sometimes it does make me nuts & I'm not

sure if this is all part of her OCD or not. She's always been like that -

since preschool. She has a very hard time deciding for herself. I remember an

instance when I said she could have a sucker (we were in a candy store) - she

couldn't have been more than 5yrs old. We ended up leaving the store & she

cried & cried outside -- not because she didn't get what she wanted, but

because she couldn't decide on a color and I wouldn't tell her what to get!!

Could this have been her OCD rearing it's ugly head at a young age?

LT

March 9, 2006

I have this child too.

What may work for him is for him to make a tape recording of all the

awful things that would happen to him if he disobeyed you - you tell

him to not go into the street and he's run over by three cars . . .

or you tell him to clean up his bedroom and it becomes infested with

rats that eat him during the night . . . like that.

The tape would be his own worst fears and he would listen to it over

and over until it loses its effect on him.

Chances are that when you hear what his worst fears are on the tape

you'll be shocked by what brings him to his knees . . . children's,

especially ocd children's fear are truly bizarre!!

>

> Hi,

>

> My 14 y/o seems to give into his OCD voice without

> even realizing it -- at least part of the time.

> Things like walking over and touching a random object

> or maybe moving something, etc. We have trouble

> coming up with Exposures because although he says he

> probably gave in to the OCD voice a few times during

> the day he doesn't remember what or why exactly (or

> more likely doesn't want to tell me).

>

> So I was thinking about doing some therapy by acting

> like I am the OCD and telling him to do random things

> and having him NOT do them and ignore my voice (learn

> to ignore THE voice).

>

> We actually did this once before and he got really

> confused. He had alot of trouble NOT doing what I

> told him (during the therapy). I got confused too.

>

> So it dawned on me that he is REALLY conditioned to do

> whatever I tell him. Like Mom and OCD are the voices

> he needs to follow. I've known this was a bit of a

> problem for a while so I have tried to be more of a

> suggestor instead of an orderer arounder and I tell

> him quite often that he can make his own decisions and

> he doesn't always have to do what I suggest (easy to

> say cuz he's such a pleaser).

>

> But (if you're still following me here) I'm feeling in

> an impossible place because in order to teach him how

> to decipher the OCD voice and ignore it, it seems like

> he also needs to learn that he has a right to not do

> what I say. I think one of his obsessions is that if

> he doesn't do what I say something bad might happen to

> me! So for therapy I NEED TO TELL HIM TO DISOBEY ME??

> Do you see the problem?

>

> How do I wean him from me? Maybe just (like it's

> easy) withdraw most of my input for awhile -- set him

> adrift?

>

> I have to add that my son is really strong minded in

> most other ways. He can certainly disagree with his

> father easily enough and he tells ME when I'm full of

> it (and is usually right).

>

> Summary -- he seems to think he HAS to do what I

> suggest (just like he mostly has to do what the OCD

> 'suggests'). How do we do therapy on that?

>

> Thanks for any suggestions,

> Lynn

>

March 10, 2006

Lynn

I have a 20 yr old rcovering from severe ocd. She is

an expert on the subjecy. This is a very illogical

disease for those who aren't suffering from it. The

only treatment are meds, professional therapy , time

and luck. You can't apply logic to this. Trust me

JC

--- Lynnelle <lynnovale@...> wrote:

> Hi,

>

> My 14 y/o seems to give into his OCD voice without

> even realizing it -- at least part of the time.

> Things like walking over and touching a random

> object

> or maybe moving something, etc. We have trouble

> coming up with Exposures because although he says he

> probably gave in to the OCD voice a few times during

> the day he doesn't remember what or why exactly (or

> more likely doesn't want to tell me).

>

> So I was thinking about doing some therapy by acting

> like I am the OCD and telling him to do random

> things

> and having him NOT do them and ignore my voice

> (learn

> to ignore THE voice).

>

> We actually did this once before and he got really

> confused. He had alot of trouble NOT doing what I

> told him (during the therapy). I got confused too.

>

> So it dawned on me that he is REALLY conditioned to

> do

> whatever I tell him. Like Mom and OCD are the

> voices

> he needs to follow. I've known this was a bit of a

> problem for a while so I have tried to be more of a

> suggestor instead of an orderer arounder and I tell

> him quite often that he can make his own decisions

> and

> he doesn't always have to do what I suggest (easy to

> say cuz he's such a pleaser).

>

> But (if you're still following me here) I'm feeling

> in

> an impossible place because in order to teach him

> how

> to decipher the OCD voice and ignore it, it seems

> like

> he also needs to learn that he has a right to not do

> what I say. I think one of his obsessions is that

> if

> he doesn't do what I say something bad might happen

> to

> me! So for therapy I NEED TO TELL HIM TO DISOBEY

> ME??

> Do you see the problem?

>

> How do I wean him from me? Maybe just (like it's

> easy) withdraw most of my input for awhile -- set

> him

> adrift?

>

> I have to add that my son is really strong minded in

> most other ways. He can certainly disagree with his

> father easily enough and he tells ME when I'm full

> of

> it (and is usually right).

>

> Summary -- he seems to think he HAS to do what I

> suggest (just like he mostly has to do what the OCD

> 'suggests'). How do we do therapy on that?

>

> Thanks for any suggestions,

> Lynn

>

__________________________________________________

March 11, 2006

You've just described the main presentation of my dd's OCD in a nutshell. During

her worst period, we couldn't walk down a street without having to do a ritual

about " which way " at every driveway. Same thing in the supermarket, library

stacks, etc. She was simply incapable of making a decision about ANYTHING --

including " deciding " whether someone was in her presence. She would be looking

right at me and have to ask someone else " is Mommy home? " . Took a while to get

her diagnosed, they initially proposed Early Onset Dementia (she was barely 9

years old). It was a very difficult and scary time. (FYI, she is now almost 11

and doing very well on a combo of Prozac and therapy.)

P.

jtlt@... wrote: