Re: Loving our bodies

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/6/00 12:08:51 PM Eastern Standard Time, slowens@...

writes:

<< That was about 3 or 4 years ago and I just can't believe how much I

have changed. I contribute a lot of that to tae-bo because it's the

first time I ever made the inner connection and realized that the

answer to all my problems would not be solved by losing 5, 10, 20 or 30

pounds. I hope this gives some of you hope that things can change for

you! I wouldn't have ever believed it was possible, but I'm here to

tell you that it is!

>>

Wow ! I cried my way through your journal entry because I have pages

and pages of those same words. I am so proud of you for how far you have

come! You are such an inspiration. PLEASE send your story to ! The whole

story. Tell him about your eating disorders and how far you have come. YOU

are the one who should be on a future infomercial!! God has blessed you with

the same gift he gave , the ability to reach out and help people change

their lives. Not everyone can motivate the way you do. I hope you know how

special you are!

[Guest guest]

,

Thank you for sharing your journal entry. Those are some of the things I use to

tell myself every time I looked in the mirror. Sometimes I'm still

hypercritical, but I'm alot better. I'm glad you've done a 180!!!!!

> I've been reading through some of my old journals lately and wanted to

> share an entry with you all. I realize this is a little bit personal

> and I hope that nobody thinks it is inappropriate. One of the things

> that got me thinking about it was a message that le wrote when

> she said

>

> " oops, should say " why can't I love my body " . I do realize that some

> people actually have peace with their bodies and I wish I could, too "

>

> That statement really hit me, because I realized how far I had come. I

> never would have believed that I would ever be at peace with my body

> and I can honestly say that I do have peace now. My reason for sharing

> this particular journal entry is to show some of you exactly how far

> I've come and to let you know that it is possible to obtain that peace,

> even though you might not think so. When I read through these old

> journal entries, I couldn't believe that I had actually written these

> things about myself. And so many of you have written lately about how

> supportive I am of others(thank you, by the way, everyone for all those

> kind words..they really mean so much to me), but I wanted you all to

> know that I've been through a lot to get to the place where I am now.

> I am glad that I have gone through it all because I'm not sure I'd have

> the same perspective that I have now. Anyway, I hope this can give

> some of you hope (those of you who are struggling with your body

> image)...and I hope it doesn't make anyone uncomfortable. I just found

> it so amazing how much my outlook has changed for the better!

>

> Here goes:

>

> " Once again food has consumed my life. I cannot believe I have let it

> happen again. I am completely out of control this time. I am

> disgusted with myself and feel worthless and ashamed. I am a failure.

> At everything I have attempted to do with my life. Why am I so out of

> control? Why has food come to mean so much? Why am I so out of

> control...eating everything in sight...making myself fat and ugly.

> Making myself into everything that I hate. I hate myself right now. I

> am ashamed to admit my problem. I know that I need to talk to someone,

> but I don't know who. I cannot cure this on my own. I have a serious

> problem and I need help. I am going to stop eating, because I can't

> seem to eat without binging. Somehow, I have to lose weight. Right

> now, it's all that matters to me..it's all I have to do. I am totally

> miserable. I am the heaviest that I have ever been and if I don't lose

> 30 lbs, I don't know what I will do. So, starting right now...the

> binging is over. I will be in control...so much control...I have to.

> The first few days will be hard, but once I begin to see results, I

> will be ok. I just need to start feeling better. Eating all this food

> has not only made me look disgusting...I feel disgusting. Let's face

> it, I am disgusting. I am a pathetic, disgusting fat person with

> absoulutely no will power and I am a complete and total failure. Well,

> maybe I've reached the bottom....no where to go but up. Please help me

> not to eat. Please help me to lose weight. Please help me. I just

> can't seem to get anywhere. I just can't seem to do it anymore. I

> don't want to do it anymore. I just want it all to be over. I'm not

> happy and I can't seem to smile anymore. I'm not going anywhere. I'm

> sick of failing. My life is at a dead end and there doesn't seem to be

> anywhere to go. I'm stuck. And I don't know which way to turn. I

> don't have the strength or the courage to go on. I just want to give

> up. I'm tired of losing. "

>

> That was about 3 or 4 years ago and I just can't believe how much I

> have changed. I contribute a lot of that to tae-bo because it's the

> first time I ever made the inner connection and realized that the

> answer to all my problems would not be solved by losing 5, 10, 20 or 30

> pounds. I hope this gives some of you hope that things can change for

> you! I wouldn't have ever believed it was possible, but I'm here to

> tell you that it is!

>

>

> who can't believe she is sharing this with you guys and hope you all

> don't mind the personal information

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> As Deb has said: " Fitness is a journey and it begins with the first step. "

> Visit our new vault site http://taeboon.isportsdot.com/

>

[Guest guest]

,

Thank you for sharing your journal entry. Those are some of the things I use to

tell myself every time I looked in the mirror. Sometimes I'm still

hypercritical, but I'm alot better. I'm glad you've done a 180!!!!!

> I've been reading through some of my old journals lately and wanted to

> share an entry with you all. I realize this is a little bit personal

> and I hope that nobody thinks it is inappropriate. One of the things

> that got me thinking about it was a message that le wrote when

> she said

>

> " oops, should say " why can't I love my body " . I do realize that some

> people actually have peace with their bodies and I wish I could, too "

>

> That statement really hit me, because I realized how far I had come. I

> never would have believed that I would ever be at peace with my body

> and I can honestly say that I do have peace now. My reason for sharing

> this particular journal entry is to show some of you exactly how far

> I've come and to let you know that it is possible to obtain that peace,

> even though you might not think so. When I read through these old

> journal entries, I couldn't believe that I had actually written these

> things about myself. And so many of you have written lately about how

> supportive I am of others(thank you, by the way, everyone for all those

> kind words..they really mean so much to me), but I wanted you all to

> know that I've been through a lot to get to the place where I am now.

> I am glad that I have gone through it all because I'm not sure I'd have

> the same perspective that I have now. Anyway, I hope this can give

> some of you hope (those of you who are struggling with your body

> image)...and I hope it doesn't make anyone uncomfortable. I just found

> it so amazing how much my outlook has changed for the better!

>

> Here goes:

>

> " Once again food has consumed my life. I cannot believe I have let it

> happen again. I am completely out of control this time. I am

> disgusted with myself and feel worthless and ashamed. I am a failure.

> At everything I have attempted to do with my life. Why am I so out of

> control? Why has food come to mean so much? Why am I so out of

> control...eating everything in sight...making myself fat and ugly.

> Making myself into everything that I hate. I hate myself right now. I

> am ashamed to admit my problem. I know that I need to talk to someone,

> but I don't know who. I cannot cure this on my own. I have a serious

> problem and I need help. I am going to stop eating, because I can't

> seem to eat without binging. Somehow, I have to lose weight. Right

> now, it's all that matters to me..it's all I have to do. I am totally

> miserable. I am the heaviest that I have ever been and if I don't lose

> 30 lbs, I don't know what I will do. So, starting right now...the

> binging is over. I will be in control...so much control...I have to.

> The first few days will be hard, but once I begin to see results, I

> will be ok. I just need to start feeling better. Eating all this food

> has not only made me look disgusting...I feel disgusting. Let's face

> it, I am disgusting. I am a pathetic, disgusting fat person with

> absoulutely no will power and I am a complete and total failure. Well,

> maybe I've reached the bottom....no where to go but up. Please help me

> not to eat. Please help me to lose weight. Please help me. I just

> can't seem to get anywhere. I just can't seem to do it anymore. I

> don't want to do it anymore. I just want it all to be over. I'm not

> happy and I can't seem to smile anymore. I'm not going anywhere. I'm

> sick of failing. My life is at a dead end and there doesn't seem to be

> anywhere to go. I'm stuck. And I don't know which way to turn. I

> don't have the strength or the courage to go on. I just want to give

> up. I'm tired of losing. "

>

> That was about 3 or 4 years ago and I just can't believe how much I

> have changed. I contribute a lot of that to tae-bo because it's the

> first time I ever made the inner connection and realized that the

> answer to all my problems would not be solved by losing 5, 10, 20 or 30

> pounds. I hope this gives some of you hope that things can change for

> you! I wouldn't have ever believed it was possible, but I'm here to

> tell you that it is!

>

>

> who can't believe she is sharing this with you guys and hope you all

> don't mind the personal information

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> As Deb has said: " Fitness is a journey and it begins with the first step. "

> Visit our new vault site http://taeboon.isportsdot.com/

>

[Guest guest]

, thank you for sharing that entry with us. You should be so proud of

yourself for how far you have come !! I relate to that entry, I had no

self-esteem and no willpower and hated myself, but now with taebo like you I

feel great and have the confidence that I didn't used to have. Thank you

again for sharing something so private with us. You are awesome !!

Pam

[Guest guest]

, would you mind if I forward your entry to a

friend who is not on the list? She feels that way

right now...and she is not even fat. She really

believes all of her problems in life would be solved

if she could wear a size 6...I am sure she will be

inspired....

na

--- Owens <slowens@...> wrote:

>

> I've been reading through some of my old journals

> lately and wanted to

> share an entry with you all. I realize this is a

> little bit personal

> and I hope that nobody thinks it is inappropriate.

> One of the things

> that got me thinking about it was a message that

> le wrote when

> she said

>

> " oops, should say " why can't I love my body " . I do

> realize that some

> people actually have peace with their bodies and I

> wish I could, too "

>

> That statement really hit me, because I realized how

> far I had come. I

> never would have believed that I would ever be at

> peace with my body

> and I can honestly say that I do have peace now. My

> reason for sharing

> this particular journal entry is to show some of you

> exactly how far

> I've come and to let you know that it is possible to

> obtain that peace,

> even though you might not think so. When I read

> through these old

> journal entries, I couldn't believe that I had

> actually written these

> things about myself. And so many of you have

> written lately about how

> supportive I am of others(thank you, by the way,

> everyone for all those

> kind words..they really mean so much to me), but I

> wanted you all to

> know that I've been through a lot to get to the

> place where I am now.

> I am glad that I have gone through it all because

> I'm not sure I'd have

> the same perspective that I have now. Anyway, I

> hope this can give

> some of you hope (those of you who are struggling

> with your body

> image)...and I hope it doesn't make anyone

> uncomfortable. I just found

> it so amazing how much my outlook has changed for

> the better!

>

> Here goes:

>

> " Once again food has consumed my life. I cannot

> believe I have let it

> happen again. I am completely out of control this

> time. I am

> disgusted with myself and feel worthless and

> ashamed. I am a failure.

> At everything I have attempted to do with my life.

> Why am I so out of

> control? Why has food come to mean so much? Why am

> I so out of

> control...eating everything in sight...making myself

> fat and ugly.

> Making myself into everything that I hate. I hate

> myself right now. I

> am ashamed to admit my problem. I know that I need

> to talk to someone,

> but I don't know who. I cannot cure this on my own.

> I have a serious

> problem and I need help. I am going to stop eating,

> because I can't

> seem to eat without binging. Somehow, I have to

> lose weight. Right

> now, it's all that matters to me..it's all I have to

> do. I am totally

> miserable. I am the heaviest that I have ever been

> and if I don't lose

> 30 lbs, I don't know what I will do. So, starting

> right now...the

> binging is over. I will be in control...so much

> control...I have to.

> The first few days will be hard, but once I begin to

> see results, I

> will be ok. I just need to start feeling better.

> Eating all this food

> has not only made me look disgusting...I feel

> disgusting. Let's face

> it, I am disgusting. I am a pathetic, disgusting

> fat person with

> absoulutely no will power and I am a complete and

> total failure. Well,

> maybe I've reached the bottom....no where to go but

> up. Please help me

> not to eat. Please help me to lose weight. Please

> help me. I just

> can't seem to get anywhere. I just can't seem to do

> it anymore. I

> don't want to do it anymore. I just want it all to

> be over. I'm not

> happy and I can't seem to smile anymore. I'm not

> going anywhere. I'm

> sick of failing. My life is at a dead end and there

> doesn't seem to be

> anywhere to go. I'm stuck. And I don't know which

> way to turn. I

> don't have the strength or the courage to go on. I

> just want to give

> up. I'm tired of losing. "

>

> That was about 3 or 4 years ago and I just can't

> believe how much I

> have changed. I contribute a lot of that to tae-bo

> because it's the

> first time I ever made the inner connection and

> realized that the

> answer to all my problems would not be solved by

> losing 5, 10, 20 or 30

> pounds. I hope this gives some of you hope that

> things can change for

> you! I wouldn't have ever believed it was possible,

> but I'm here to

> tell you that it is!

>

>

> who can't believe she is sharing this with you guys

> and hope you all

> don't mind the personal information

>

>

>

------------------------------------------------------------------------

> As Deb has said: " Fitness is a journey and it begins

> with the first step. "

> Visit our new vault site

> http://taeboon.isportsdot.com/

>

[Guest guest]

, would you mind if I forward your entry to a

friend who is not on the list? She feels that way

right now...and she is not even fat. She really

believes all of her problems in life would be solved

if she could wear a size 6...I am sure she will be

inspired....

na

--- Owens <slowens@...> wrote:

>

> I've been reading through some of my old journals

> lately and wanted to

> share an entry with you all. I realize this is a

> little bit personal

> and I hope that nobody thinks it is inappropriate.

> One of the things

> that got me thinking about it was a message that

> le wrote when

> she said

>

> " oops, should say " why can't I love my body " . I do

> realize that some

> people actually have peace with their bodies and I

> wish I could, too "

>

> That statement really hit me, because I realized how

> far I had come. I

> never would have believed that I would ever be at

> peace with my body

> and I can honestly say that I do have peace now. My

> reason for sharing

> this particular journal entry is to show some of you

> exactly how far

> I've come and to let you know that it is possible to

> obtain that peace,

> even though you might not think so. When I read

> through these old

> journal entries, I couldn't believe that I had

> actually written these

> things about myself. And so many of you have

> written lately about how

> supportive I am of others(thank you, by the way,

> everyone for all those

> kind words..they really mean so much to me), but I

> wanted you all to

> know that I've been through a lot to get to the

> place where I am now.

> I am glad that I have gone through it all because

> I'm not sure I'd have

> the same perspective that I have now. Anyway, I

> hope this can give

> some of you hope (those of you who are struggling

> with your body

> image)...and I hope it doesn't make anyone

> uncomfortable. I just found

> it so amazing how much my outlook has changed for

> the better!

>

> Here goes:

>

> " Once again food has consumed my life. I cannot

> believe I have let it

> happen again. I am completely out of control this

> time. I am

> disgusted with myself and feel worthless and

> ashamed. I am a failure.

> At everything I have attempted to do with my life.

> Why am I so out of

> control? Why has food come to mean so much? Why am

> I so out of

> control...eating everything in sight...making myself

> fat and ugly.

> Making myself into everything that I hate. I hate

> myself right now. I

> am ashamed to admit my problem. I know that I need

> to talk to someone,

> but I don't know who. I cannot cure this on my own.

> I have a serious

> problem and I need help. I am going to stop eating,

> because I can't

> seem to eat without binging. Somehow, I have to

> lose weight. Right

> now, it's all that matters to me..it's all I have to

> do. I am totally

> miserable. I am the heaviest that I have ever been

> and if I don't lose

> 30 lbs, I don't know what I will do. So, starting

> right now...the

> binging is over. I will be in control...so much

> control...I have to.

> The first few days will be hard, but once I begin to

> see results, I

> will be ok. I just need to start feeling better.

> Eating all this food

> has not only made me look disgusting...I feel

> disgusting. Let's face

> it, I am disgusting. I am a pathetic, disgusting

> fat person with

> absoulutely no will power and I am a complete and

> total failure. Well,

> maybe I've reached the bottom....no where to go but

> up. Please help me

> not to eat. Please help me to lose weight. Please

> help me. I just

> can't seem to get anywhere. I just can't seem to do

> it anymore. I

> don't want to do it anymore. I just want it all to

> be over. I'm not

> happy and I can't seem to smile anymore. I'm not

> going anywhere. I'm

> sick of failing. My life is at a dead end and there

> doesn't seem to be

> anywhere to go. I'm stuck. And I don't know which

> way to turn. I

> don't have the strength or the courage to go on. I

> just want to give

> up. I'm tired of losing. "

>

> That was about 3 or 4 years ago and I just can't

> believe how much I

> have changed. I contribute a lot of that to tae-bo

> because it's the

> first time I ever made the inner connection and

> realized that the

> answer to all my problems would not be solved by

> losing 5, 10, 20 or 30

> pounds. I hope this gives some of you hope that

> things can change for

> you! I wouldn't have ever believed it was possible,

> but I'm here to

> tell you that it is!

>

>

> who can't believe she is sharing this with you guys

> and hope you all

> don't mind the personal information

>

>

>

------------------------------------------------------------------------

> As Deb has said: " Fitness is a journey and it begins

> with the first step. "

> Visit our new vault site

> http://taeboon.isportsdot.com/

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you, . You are so brave and so strong. Maybe you should

consider writing a book about your life? It would be a great book.

Elena

[Guest guest]

Thank you, . You are so brave and so strong. Maybe you should

consider writing a book about your life? It would be a great book.

Elena

[Guest guest]

,

You've come such a long way...That's so wonderful! And, please, don't

ever apologize for sharing your inner self. You're a remarkable woman!

;-))))

" shannon owens " <slowen-@...> wrote:

original article:tae-bo_on/?start=13684

> That was about 3 or 4 years ago and I just can't believe how much I

> have changed. I contribute a lot of that to tae-bo because it's the

> first time I ever made the inner connection and realized that the

> answer to all my problems would not be solved by losing 5, 10, 20 or

30

> pounds. I hope this gives some of you hope that things can change for

> you! I wouldn't have ever believed it was possible, but I'm here to

> tell you that it is!

>

>

> who can't believe she is sharing this with you guys and hope you all

> don't mind the personal information

>

[Guest guest]

,

You've come such a long way...That's so wonderful! And, please, don't

ever apologize for sharing your inner self. You're a remarkable woman!

;-))))

" shannon owens " <slowen-@...> wrote:

original article:tae-bo_on/?start=13684

> That was about 3 or 4 years ago and I just can't believe how much I

> have changed. I contribute a lot of that to tae-bo because it's the

> first time I ever made the inner connection and realized that the

> answer to all my problems would not be solved by losing 5, 10, 20 or

30

> pounds. I hope this gives some of you hope that things can change for

> you! I wouldn't have ever believed it was possible, but I'm here to

> tell you that it is!

>

>

> who can't believe she is sharing this with you guys and hope you all

> don't mind the personal information

>

[Guest guest]

,

It was wonderful that you could share the with us! You have changed

so much!! It is a great thing too. I don't know exactly how I feel about me

right now. Things feel impossible...15 pounds seems like something that will

never happen. I love working out and it has made a difference in my life

and the way I look...but sometimes I feel like I am never going to lose

these last few pounds and reach my goals.

Loving our bodies

> " oops, should say " why can't I love my body " . I do realize that some

> people actually have peace with their bodies and I wish I could, too "

<cut shorter for people on digest mode>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 03/07/2000 10:05:39 AM Eastern Standard Time,

slowens@... writes:

<< Anyway, it's really not so much the weight loss

that is so important for me anyway so I'll just have to write about all

that it's done for me on the inside

>>

But ,

we are never done on the inside (or outside), always evolving

Barb

whose outside evolved in the wrong direction for way too many years

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/7/00 12:46:14 PM Eastern Standard Time, slowens@...

writes:

<< One thing I have been thinking about recently and will probably look

into when I get home, is trying to get a job working with kids with

eating disorders. If I can't get a job, maybe I'll look into

volunteering somewhere. I think I'd like to try to help some of these

girls and let them know that they are not alone in the way they feel.

I think I could relate to them and help some of them....it's just a

thought I've been having recently, so I think I'm going to look into

it. Hey, then I could actually put that good ol' Psychology degree of

mine to some use!

>>

-

FANTASTIC IDEA!! I was thinking about that the other night ... about how you

have a psych degree and could counsel girls with eating disorders. GREAT

IDEA!! You could help so many people and change so many lives! DO IT!!!!

[Guest guest]

agaw1257-@... wrote:

original article:tae-bo_on/?start=13693

>

> Wow ! I cried my way through your journal entry because I have

pages

> and pages of those same words. I am so proud of you for how far you

have

> come! You are such an inspiration. PLEASE send your story to !

The whole

> story. Tell him about your eating disorders and how far you have

come. YOU

> are the one who should be on a future infomercial!! God has blessed

you with

> the same gift he gave , the ability to reach out and help people

change

> their lives. Not everyone can motivate the way you do. I hope you

know how

> special you are!

,

Thanks for the kind words. You have no idea how much it means to me

that people find me inspiring and that I am able to help motivate

people. After years of feeling worthless, it is nice to know that I am

able to help people who have been where I have been. I'll send my

story to one of these days. It's just a matter of sitting down

and trying to put it all into words. I wish I had some better " before "

pictures...can't really send them that picture of me with my boobs

hanging down to my belly button (for those of you who weren't

fortunate enough to be in LA and see my lovely photo...my aunt took a

picture of me a week after I gave birth, right about the time all my

milk came down. In the picture I'm just wearing my underwear and I'm

actually glad my aunt took the picture because, although I knew my

boobs were huge at the time...I never would have believed how big they

really were unless I had that photo. It's amazing how quickly we

forget these things!) Anyway, it's really not so much the weight loss

that is so important for me anyway so I'll just have to write about all

that it's done for me on the inside

[Guest guest]

galofgo-@... wrote:

original article:tae-bo_on/?start=13695

> ,

>

> Thank you for sharing your journal entry. Those are some of the

things I use to tell myself every time I looked in the mirror.

Sometimes I'm still hypercritical, but I'm alot better. I'm glad

you've done a 180!!!!!

,

What struck me as I read my journal is how mean and nasty I was to

myself. I mean, never in a million years would we ever think of

talking like that to someone else, so why is it so easy to talk that

way to ourselves? I know we've all done it at some point (maybe not as

extreme as mine was) but we all say things to ourselves that we would

never say to another person. I guess we just have to try to be a

little nicer to ourselves...and see the good in ourselves, even when

all we want to focus on is the bad stuff we see!

[Guest guest]

johnna <eyore6-@...> wrote:

original article:tae-bo_on/?start=13696

> , would you mind if I forward your entry to a

> friend who is not on the list? She feels that way

> right now...and she is not even fat. She really

> believes all of her problems in life would be solved

> if she could wear a size 6...I am sure she will be

> inspired....

na,

Please feel free to forward the message to your friend. I hope it

helps her. I know it's so easy to believe that everything would be

better if only we were a size 10, 8, 6.....take your pick....but really

that's not the answer to your problems. Most of the time we get down

to that size and realize we're still dealing with all the same stuff.

We have to learn to love ourselves right now...whatever size we may be.

If we can do that....then everything else will start to fall in place!

I also know how hard it is to be a friend to somebody who has that

obsession with their weight...I've lost many a friend in the past

because of my obsession with my weight and pushing away people who

tried to help me. It's a fine line you have to walk between trying to

help and just being there for her. I hope she reads my message and

gets something out of it. I know how frustrating it must be for you

that she can't see it yet and that she is so critical of herself....but

you are being a great friend by trying to help her see that it's not

all about losing weight!

[Guest guest]

pamela189-@... wrote:

original article:tae-bo_on/?start=13699

> , thank you for sharing that entry with us. You should be so

proud of

> yourself for how far you have come !! I relate to that entry, I had

no

> self-esteem and no willpower and hated myself, but now with taebo

like you I

> feel great and have the confidence that I didn't used to have. Thank

you

> again for sharing something so private with us. You are awesome !!

Pam,

Thanks! I figured there were a lot of us out there who were dealing

with the same things or had at one point felt the same way...that's why

I shared it with you all. Even though it's a very private thing and I

have never really talked about it with anyone else....I feel really

comfortable here with you all and know that what I have gone through..a

lot of you have gone through, too! Even though we are all so different

in many ways....there is one thing we all have in common and that's

tae-bo and the incredible impact it has had on our lives. Most of the

time that inner change happens immediately with tae-bo and we gain the

confidence that we thought we'd never have! I'm glad you've felt that

change, too and have gained back the confidence and self esteem that

you had lost!

[Guest guest]

,

How about making a photocopy of the photos and either drawing black

strips of a bra over those bountiful mammaries...then send them to

. LOL It could work, ya know.

You write beautifully, and I have no doubt that you could compose an

eloquent testimonial to go with the pics!

;-)

F

" shannon owens " <slowen-@...> wrote:

original article:tae-bo_on/?start=13755

> agaw1257-@... wrote:

> original article:tae-bo_on/?start=13693

> >

> > Wow ! I cried my way through your journal entry because I

have

> pages

> > and pages of those same words. I am so proud of you for how far you

> have

> > come! You are such an inspiration. PLEASE send your story to !

> The whole

> > story. Tell him about your eating disorders and how far you have

> come. YOU

> > are the one who should be on a future infomercial!! God has blessed

> you with

> > the same gift he gave , the ability to reach out and help

people

> change

> > their lives. Not everyone can motivate the way you do. I hope you

> know how

> > special you are!

>

> ,

>

> Thanks for the kind words. You have no idea how much it means to me

> that people find me inspiring and that I am able to help motivate

> people. After years of feeling worthless, it is nice to know that I

am

> able to help people who have been where I have been. I'll send my

> story to one of these days. It's just a matter of sitting down

> and trying to put it all into words. I wish I had some better

" before "

> pictures...can't really send them that picture of me with my boobs

> hanging down to my belly button (for those of you who weren't

> fortunate enough to be in LA and see my lovely photo...my aunt took a

> picture of me a week after I gave birth, right about the time all my

> milk came down. In the picture I'm just wearing my underwear and I'm

> actually glad my aunt took the picture because, although I knew my

> boobs were huge at the time...I never would have believed how big they

> really were unless I had that photo. It's amazing how quickly we

> forget these things!) Anyway, it's really not so much the weight loss

> that is so important for me anyway so I'll just have to write about

all

> that it's done for me on the inside

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

Had I ever kept a journal when I was at my lowest of lows, it would

have read exactly like yours. (I didn't have the energy to write about

it.) It's amazing how some of us implode like that, and for no good

reason at all. It's so sad.

When I first lost weight at the age of fourteen, my parents thought it

was the best thing ever. They had no idea how sick I was and how

desperate I was. As long as I was thin, all was well by their

standards. They had no idea that I spent the entirety of my 10th grade

writing up six months worth of meal plans, day after day...or that I

figured out that sorbitol caused me to have diahrrea which I used to my

ill-supposed " advantage. " I had gotten down to 103 pounds, and was

lucky(?) or blessed, or something...to realize that my chest was flat

as a board and that my thighs were not going to change (well, with Tae

Bo...30 years later...they are changing!) When I gained all the weight

back, plus some, at age 16, my parnets came down on me like attack

dogs. They would ask, " Why do you hate yourself so much, " then say,

" You know that no man in his right mind would ever want to have

anything to do with you looking the way you do! " Talk about mixed

messages! (A couple of years ago, when I referred to myself as having

been anorexic to my mother and stepfather, my mother was shocked...she

had no idea.)

When I worked for a year at a psychiatric hospital, I was amazed at the

lengths to which the eating disorder patients would sabotage

themselves...sneaking running in place or doing jumping jacks in the

bathroom (resulting in their having to be watched while using the

bathroom), avoiding licking stamps or envelopes (2 calories each),

refusing to eat (resulting sometimes in force feeding of Ensure by tube

down the throat)...it was truly astounding.

Anyway, you are hardly alone in having experienced such self-loathing

(though it's the loneliest place one could possibly be). Your words

capture the feelings so beautifully.

I'm glad you're well now, and that we have the opportunity and the

privelege to see you in bloom!

{{{BIG HUGS}}}

Love,

" shannon owens " <slowen-@...> wrote:

original article:tae-bo_on/?start=13757

> >

> What struck me as I read my journal is how mean and nasty I was to

> myself. I mean, never in a million years would we ever think of

> talking like that to someone else, so why is it so easy to talk that

> way to ourselves? I know we've all done it at some point (maybe not

as

> extreme as mine was) but we all say things to ourselves that we would

> never say to another person. I guess we just have to try to be a

> little nicer to ourselves...and see the good in ourselves, even when

> all we want to focus on is the bad stuff we see!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

, I am so sorry you had to go through all of that. You are so

strong and self-confident now that it is hard to recognize you from

your description. You have come a long way, woman!

Elena

" susan ferron " <srferro-@...> wrote:

original article:tae-bo_on/?start=13784

> ,

>

> Had I ever kept a journal when I was at my lowest of lows, it would

> have read exactly like yours. (I didn't have the energy to write

about

> it.) It's amazing how some of us implode like that, and for no good

> reason at all. It's so sad.

>

> When I first lost weight at the age of fourteen, my parents thought it

> was the best thing ever. They had no idea how sick I was and how

> desperate I was. As long as I was thin, all was well by their

> standards. They had no idea that I spent the entirety of my 10th

grade

> writing up six months worth of meal plans, day after day...or that I

> figured out that sorbitol caused me to have diahrrea which I used to

my

> ill-supposed " advantage. " I had gotten down to 103 pounds, and was

> lucky(?) or blessed, or something...to realize that my chest was flat

> as a board and that my thighs were not going to change (well, with Tae

> Bo...30 years later...they are changing!) When I gained all the

weight

> back, plus some, at age 16, my parnets came down on me like attack

> dogs. They would ask, " Why do you hate yourself so much, " then say,

> " You know that no man in his right mind would ever want to have

> anything to do with you looking the way you do! " Talk about mixed

> messages! (A couple of years ago, when I referred to myself as having

> been anorexic to my mother and stepfather, my mother was shocked...she

> had no idea.)

>

> When I worked for a year at a psychiatric hospital, I was amazed at

the

> lengths to which the eating disorder patients would sabotage

> themselves...sneaking running in place or doing jumping jacks in the

> bathroom (resulting in their having to be watched while using the

> bathroom), avoiding licking stamps or envelopes (2 calories each),

> refusing to eat (resulting sometimes in force feeding of Ensure by

tube

> down the throat)...it was truly astounding.

>

> Anyway, you are hardly alone in having experienced such self-loathing

> (though it's the loneliest place one could possibly be). Your words

> capture the feelings so beautifully.

>

>

[Guest guest]

etcarroll <etcarrol-@...> wrote:

original article:tae-bo_on/?start=13702

> Thank you, . You are so brave and so strong. Maybe you should

> consider writing a book about your life? It would be a great book.

Elena,

Thanks for thinking that my life would be interesting in print, but I'm

not so sure I'm ready to have it all out there just yet....ha ha! I

think I'll just keep writing in my journals. I used to keep journals

all the time and have stopped writing them the past few years. I

really want to start one for Skylar. That way if anything ever happens

to me (god forbid), she'll have a sense of who I was and how happy she

has made me. It's one of the things I wish I had from my

parents...something in writing that could help me remember them or help

me feel closer to them. It's been so long now that they've been gone,

I have a really hard time remembering anything about them and so don't

feel any real sense of connection with them (for those of you new to

the list, both of my parents were killed by a drunk driver when I was

10...it'll be 20 years this December that they've been dead). If I

ever die before Skylar is old enough to remember me, I want her to have

something to read...something that will connect me to her. Hopefully,

nothing like that will ever happen...but you never know!

One thing I have been thinking about recently and will probably look

into when I get home, is trying to get a job working with kids with

eating disorders. If I can't get a job, maybe I'll look into

volunteering somewhere. I think I'd like to try to help some of these

girls and let them know that they are not alone in the way they feel.

I think I could relate to them and help some of them....it's just a

thought I've been having recently, so I think I'm going to look into

it. Hey, then I could actually put that good ol' Psychology degree of

mine to some use!

[Guest guest]

" *mary* " <mmgrave-@...> wrote:

original article:tae-bo_on/?start=13720

> ,

> It was wonderful that you could share the with us! You have

changed

> so much!! It is a great thing too. I don't know exactly how I feel

about me

> right now. Things feel impossible...15 pounds seems like something

that will

> never happen. I love working out and it has made a difference in my

life

> and the way I look...but sometimes I feel like I am never going to

lose

> these last few pounds and reach my goals.

,

I used to think the same thing when I first realized that I had 40 lbs

to lose right after giving birth to Skylar. I remember thinking " Oh my

God, even if I lose 20 lbs, I'm still going to be what I considered

heavy before " . That's probably why I wasn't losing the weight so

quickly before tae-bo...I had such a self-defeating attitude about

weight loss. And then when I started tae-bo, my attitude shifted

totally away from weight loss and that's when I started noticing really

big changes. I know, it's a little different for you because you have

to get to a certain weight for the military and I know what kind of

pressure that can create for you. But, please don't let the number

start to rule your life. That's when my really serious problems

began..back in college when I was trying to make the lightweight team

for Crew. I had to weigh 130 and I was so obsessed with that number..I

did anything to get there. You have a great attitude about all of this

and you have seen such great results so far. Don't forget about all

the wonderful changes you have seen in your body so far. You have had

incredible results (remember the jeans that you fit into now?). Try

not to look at the bigger picture so much (as in " man, I'll never lose

these last 15 lbs " ) and concentrate on what has already happened to you

and what continues to happen to you on a daily basis (as in " I love

working out and it has made a difference in my life " ...your own words).

I love working out....isn't that huge? Isn't that a major

accomplishment? I know it was for me...to actually ENJOY what I was

doing! Anyway, just try to be happy about all that you have

accomplished so far and know that you will reach your goals...it just

takes some time. We've all heard it a million times, but the weight

didn't come on overnight and it's not going to come off overnight!

You've just got to be patient and try to enjoy the journey. Don't be

so focused on the final destination that you overlook all the wonderful

and positive changes happening to you each and every day. And remember

that tae-bo is different than any other exercise program, in that you

may not need to get down to that exact weight. I mean, come on, if you

have more muscle and can do all the fitness exercises that the military

throws at you and if your body fat % is well below the norm....you

can't tell me they're not going to accept you. And if they don't then

they're stupid (and you can tell them I said so....LOL!) What I'm

trying to say (yes, I do have a point to all of this) is that you will

reach your goals! In the meantime, be proud of your

accomplishments....you deserve to be proud of yourself and to hold your

head up high!

[Guest guest]

" shannon owens " <slowen-@...> wrote:

original article:tae-bo_on/?start=13787

>

> One thing I have been thinking about recently and will probably look

> into when I get home, is trying to get a job working with kids with

> eating disorders. If I can't get a job, maybe I'll look into

> volunteering somewhere. I think I'd like to try to help some of these

> girls and let them know that they are not alone in the way they feel.

> I think I could relate to them and help some of them....it's just a

> thought I've been having recently, so I think I'm going to look into

> it. Hey, then I could actually put that good ol' Psychology degree of

> mine to some use!

>

>Do it, ! You would be great at helping kids with eating

disorders (or actually with any growing-up issues). There are going to

be some fortunate kids in Tennessee.

Elena

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks ...you always say the best things at the right time. Last week

I saw my recruiter and I asked him what would happen if I was like 145 on my

scale but I went to have the physical and their scale said 148. He said that

they have a rule about weight and they would give me 5 days for every pound

I had to lose. So if I was 3 pounds off then I would get a 15 day " leave " so

to speak and would have to come back in 15 days just for height and weight.

so right now he says that since I have 15 pounds to lose that they actually

would give me about 75 day to lose it which equals when I am supposed to

have lost it anyways. Basically he was telling me that it was a reachable

goal. And I know it is...and you are right that I know I have accomplished

so much in a month..I weigh less then I ever have in over 5 years! I didn't

weight this much when I met Mike! My clothing size has gone down. I feel

fitter...more energy and more muscle definition. Right now my body fat is at

40%...of course 4 weeks ago it was at 46% so that has gone down. I noticed

something last night when I was working out...when I do my leg kicks..I can

feel my ab muscles working to help lift my legs..not just my legs doing all

the work. I think that is a step in the right direction too.

Sorry so long..I just started typing....

Re: Loving our bodies

> " *mary* " <mmgrave-@...> wrote:

> original article:tae-bo_on/?start=13720

> > ,

> > It was wonderful that you could share the with us! You have

> changed

> > so much!! It is a great thing too. I don't know exactly how I feel

> about me

> > right now. Things feel impossible...15 pounds seems like something

> that will

> > never happen. I love working out and it has made a difference in my

> life

> > and the way I look...but sometimes I feel like I am never going to

> lose

> > these last few pounds and reach my goals.

>

> ,

>

> I used to think the same thing when I first realized that I had 40 lbs

> to lose right after giving birth to Skylar. I remember thinking " Oh my

> God, even if I lose 20 lbs, I'm still going to be what I considered

> heavy before " . That's probably why I wasn't losing the weight so

> quickly before tae-bo...I had such a self-defeating attitude about

> weight loss. And then when I started tae-bo, my attitude shifted

> totally away from weight loss and that's when I started noticing really

> big changes. I know, it's a little different for you because you have

> to get to a certain weight for the military and I know what kind of

> pressure that can create for you. But, please don't let the number

> start to rule your life. That's when my really serious problems

> began..back in college when I was trying to make the lightweight team

> for Crew. I had to weigh 130 and I was so obsessed with that number..I

> did anything to get there. You have a great attitude about all of this

> and you have seen such great results so far. Don't forget about all

> the wonderful changes you have seen in your body so far. You have had

> incredible results (remember the jeans that you fit into now?). Try

> not to look at the bigger picture so much (as in " man, I'll never lose

> these last 15 lbs " ) and concentrate on what has already happened to you

> and what continues to happen to you on a daily basis (as in " I love

> working out and it has made a difference in my life " ...your own words).

> I love working out....isn't that huge? Isn't that a major

> accomplishment? I know it was for me...to actually ENJOY what I was

> doing! Anyway, just try to be happy about all that you have

> accomplished so far and know that you will reach your goals...it just

> takes some time. We've all heard it a million times, but the weight

> didn't come on overnight and it's not going to come off overnight!

> You've just got to be patient and try to enjoy the journey. Don't be

> so focused on the final destination that you overlook all the wonderful

> and positive changes happening to you each and every day. And remember

> that tae-bo is different than any other exercise program, in that you

> may not need to get down to that exact weight. I mean, come on, if you

> have more muscle and can do all the fitness exercises that the military

> throws at you and if your body fat % is well below the norm....you

> can't tell me they're not going to accept you. And if they don't then

> they're stupid (and you can tell them I said so....LOL!) What I'm

> trying to say (yes, I do have a point to all of this) is that you will

> reach your goals! In the meantime, be proud of your

> accomplishments....you deserve to be proud of yourself and to hold your

> head up high!

>

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> As Deb has said: " Fitness is a journey and it begins with the first step. "

> Visit our new vault site http://taeboon.isportsdot.com/

>

[Guest guest]

horsemom-@... wrote:

original article:tae-bo_on/?start=13770

>

> But ,

> we are never done on the inside (or outside), always evolving

Of course...I guess what I should have said was " all it's done for me

so far on the inside " ...I am constantly noticing changes taking place

both inside and outside on a daily basis. That's the beauty of

tae-bo...that you are never done. There is always something else to

work on and it just keeps getting better and better

who loves noticing differences in the way she thinks and feels about

her body every day