In defense of people on the edge...

[Guest guest]

I have to post this and I am going to try very hard not to upset

anyone or violate Lenny's rules. But I have to say this. I lay

awake in bed last night thinking about this for a long time. I

almost logged in at 2 a.m. but I wanted to wait and collect all my

thoughts before posting.

A disclaimer before I begin -- I am not saying anyone in particular

is on the edge. I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist. I speak

only from personal experience. But I do believe my personal

experience is the common thread among many of us here, in varying

degrees. It is what makes us all brothers and sisters in this fight

against autism via mercury poisoning.

This is a truly maddening issue. A few minutes ago I saw a CNN blurb

on TV about a pelican that was shot through the beak with an arrow.

The poor bird cannot open its mouth to eat because of the way the

arrow was shot into him. There is a frantic search for this bird and

the person who shot him.

OK.

I love animals. I believe cruelty to animals is unforgiveable and

should be punishable by law.

So, what about our children who have been knowingly damaged by hg in

vaccines? Where is the outrage? Where are the blurbs on CNN? Where

is the search to find these children and the people who injured them?

MY CHILD has had all the genetic and other testing pertinent to her

diagnoses. She is 9-11 times more mercury poisoned that the median

non-chelated mercury poisoned autistic person in the Geier and Geier

study. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about why she is autistic,

why she has severe seizures weekly, why she is severely

intellectually delayed, or why she has the other problems she has.

It is all about mercury.

This is maddening.

This is maddening because I am educated about the facts of hg and hg

in vaccines. This is maddening because 1.5 million children have

been knowingly damaged (minus the 10% who have Fragile x, Retts, or

Tuberous sclerosis. I do not include the newly discovered 1% who

have genetic mutations in/on chromosome 16 because I believe the

mercury caused the mutation.) by hg in vaccines. Their lives and the

lives of the people who love them have been altered in a callous and

damaging way.

It is MADDENING to me to see so much media attention directed at

every single freaking thing BUT this.

It is INSULTING AND MADDENING to read comments from the agenda-driven

ND and like-minded scientists and professionals.

Many of us are here on this list because we love someone who has been

damaged by mercury in vaccines and we need a little support.

We have all experienced different life situations growing up and in

our adult lives. We have varying degrees of support - financial,

emotional, etc. I think it is so wrong for any of us to attack each

other regardless of ANYTHING. We are fighting against the same

thing. We are affected by the same thing. If we see someone who

appears to be on the edge, I think we need to remember the CAUSE -

the SOURCE.

This is maddening. It may be less so to people who have supports.

It may be less maddening to those who aren't faced with the immediate

uncertainty of " what will happen to my child when I'm gone? " It is a

known fact that mentally impaired people are abused in institutions.

It is not something we like to think about because it is so WRONG. It

is maddening to have to think of this when it is very possibly a

reality for our precious children. For me, a mom with pretty much no

support at all, it is maddening for me to think about my child's

future. The very last thing anyone should do to me for being scared

to death about that is to attack me.

I think we all need to remember the roots of this madness before we

do, say, or type anything.

I am no professional, but I think people have been driven to madness

due to reasons far less severe (though no less severe to them, I'm

sure) than watching their child poisoned by the very people who were

supposed to protect them, and be ridiculed by others for feeling the

very real things they are feeling and living, and watching their

children live. And knowing this ridicule is just another extension

of people benefitting financially from having damaged our children

and our lives.

Again, I am not attempting to label anyone mad or on the edge. But,

I myself have been to the edge 4 times since 2004. 3 of those times

one foot was dangling over the edge. If I had've had to endure

backlashes from people on a support group, I don't know what would

have happened.

The ONLY support I have comes from people I have met on the internet -

people with whom my primary means of communicating with them is

still the internet. Think about that for a second. There is no

positive family involvement and our only babysitter is no longer able

to babysit for a couple of hours on weekends anymore because she had

5 surgical procedures last year. She helps her single-parent son

with his two very young daughters and also cares for her mother who

has Parkinson's disease, who also lives with her.

Those of you who know me know the people who pulled me back from the

edge - the same people who are helping recover my child.

I have always been no more happy than my child has been at any time.

And I am OUTRAGED that she was deliberately damaged.

I think we all need to remember that we are fighting the same

battle. Some of us are handling it better, for whatever reasons, but

some us, for whatever reasons, reasons that are VALID, are not. The

last thing those of us who are acquainted with and/or familiar with

the edge need is a nudge in the wrong direction.

" To the world you may be just one person but to one person, you may

be the world. "

These are my thoughts and I thank you for reading them.

[Guest guest]

Thanks for sharing...Nora G

In defense of people on the edge...

I have to post this and I am going to try very hard not to upset anyone or violate Lenny's rules. But I have to say this. I lay awake in bed last night thinking about this for a long time. I almost logged in at 2 a.m. but I wanted to wait and collect all my thoughts before posting.A disclaimer before I begin -- I am not saying anyone in particular is on the edge. I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist. I speak only from personal experience. But I do believe my personal experience is the common thread among many of us here, in varying degrees. It is what makes us all brothers and sisters in this fight against autism via mercury poisoning.This is a truly maddening issue. A few minutes ago I saw a CNN blurb on TV about a pelican that was shot through the beak with an arrow. The poor bird cannot open its mouth to eat because of the way the arrow was shot into him. There is a frantic search for this bird and the person who shot him. OK. I love animals. I believe cruelty to animals is unforgiveable and should be punishable by law. So, what about our children who have been knowingly damaged by hg in vaccines? Where is the outrage? Where are the blurbs on CNN? Where is the search to find these children and the people who injured them?MY CHILD has had all the genetic and other testing pertinent to her diagnoses. She is 9-11 times more mercury poisoned that the median non-chelated mercury poisoned autistic person in the Geier and Geier study. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about why she is autistic, why she has severe seizures weekly, why she is severely intellectually delayed, or why she has the other problems she has. It is all about mercury. This is maddening. This is maddening because I am educated about the facts of hg and hg in vaccines. This is maddening because 1.5 million children have been knowingly damaged (minus the 10% who have Fragile x, Retts, or Tuberous sclerosis. I do not include the newly discovered 1% who have genetic mutations in/on chromosome 16 because I believe the mercury caused the mutation.) by hg in vaccines. Their lives and the lives of the people who love them have been altered in a callous and damaging way.It is MADDENING to me to see so much media attention directed at every single freaking thing BUT this.It is INSULTING AND MADDENING to read comments from the agenda-driven ND and like-minded scientists and professionals. Many of us are here on this list because we love someone who has been damaged by mercury in vaccines and we need a little support. We have all experienced different life situations growing up and in our adult lives. We have varying degrees of support - financial, emotional, etc. I think it is so wrong for any of us to attack each other regardless of ANYTHING. We are fighting against the same thing. We are affected by the same thing. If we see someone who appears to be on the edge, I think we need to remember the CAUSE - the SOURCE. This is maddening. It may be less so to people who have supports. It may be less maddening to those who aren't faced with the immediate uncertainty of "what will happen to my child when I'm gone?" It is a known fact that mentally impaired people are abused in institutions. It is not something we like to think about because it is so WRONG. It is maddening to have to think of this when it is very possibly a reality for our precious children. For me, a mom with pretty much no support at all, it is maddening for me to think about my child's future. The very last thing anyone should do to me for being scared to death about that is to attack me. I think we all need to remember the roots of this madness before we do, say, or type anything.I am no professional, but I think people have been driven to madness due to reasons far less severe (though no less severe to them, I'm sure) than watching their child poisoned by the very people who were supposed to protect them, and be ridiculed by others for feeling the very real things they are feeling and living, and watching their children live. And knowing this ridicule is just another extension of people benefitting financially from having damaged our children and our lives.Again, I am not attempting to label anyone mad or on the edge. But, I myself have been to the edge 4 times since 2004. 3 of those times one foot was dangling over the edge. If I had've had to endure backlashes from people on a support group, I don't know what would have happened. The ONLY support I have comes from people I have met on the internet -people with whom my primary means of communicating with them is still the internet. Think about that for a second. There is no positive family involvement and our only babysitter is no longer able to babysit for a couple of hours on weekends anymore because she had 5 surgical procedures last year. She helps her single-parent son with his two very young daughters and also cares for her mother who has Parkinson's disease, who also lives with her.Those of you who know me know the people who pulled me back from the edge - the same people who are helping recover my child.I have always been no more happy than my child has been at any time. And I am OUTRAGED that she was deliberately damaged.I think we all need to remember that we are fighting the same battle. Some of us are handling it better, for whatever reasons, but some us, for whatever reasons, reasons that are VALID, are not. The last thing those of us who are acquainted with and/or familiar with the edge need is a nudge in the wrong direction."To the world you may be just one person but to one person, you may be the world."These are my thoughts and I thank you for reading them.

[Guest guest]

Having support or not can make all the difference, it's true. When

you plunge into that abyss of " the dark night of the soul " , if

someone's there to hold the bungie cord wrapped around your ankles to

pull you back up, or who just hangs out on the " edge " for when you

surface and need to discuss what you saw in the ninth ring of hell,

it matters. More than just the trauma itself but being alone in the

experience can drive anyone nuts. It stinks to be surrounded by packs

of people who spend their lives in denial, who pathologize even the

state of mind it takes to face the facts that they refuse to see. The

age of the internet is great for that and is probably preventing a

lot of us from going gonzo.

I also spent a long time thinking (ramblingly-- sorry) about the same

thing recently (can you tell?). I thought about how our culture has

been brainwashed into trying to stuff ourselves into a mold of bland

normalcy by popular psychology and how this has a direct effect on

whether people stand up for anything meaningful and a damaging effect

on sanity as a result. In other cultures which haven't been quite as

tainted by this, people are more interactive and more likely to get

involved. But here, say, the women who stand in public squares in

Argentina and Chile, who beat pots and pans every month in protest of

all their family members who were " disappeared " under various juntas

meet a slew of criteria in the DSM or its margins, like:

Borderline personality disorder

Histrionic personality type

Oppositional defiant disorder

Inadaquate personality disorder

Bla bla bla

And if these demonstrators believed the above, they probably would be

mad. I was thinking of remarks I've heard over the years in defense

of people who live " on the edge " which run completely counter to the

iron maiden of the DSM and some wonderful theories like this one:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_disintegration

Kazimierz Dabrowski sure isn't popular in organized psychiatry

because he purports that intellectual evolution absolutely depends

upon being thrust into intense emotional states and living on the

edge. How're they going to pathologize and drug that? Where's the

profits? The world of philosophy (hey, two semesters and some google

credits) is filled with this question: how to stand living on the

edge, whether it's " madness " , what is " madness " , what is " normal " , is

the norm really " normal " ?

And is " normal " really healthy in the end when most people seem to be

able to stand by and watch the worst injustices being perpetrated

without lifting a finger? What does it take to go from bystander to

effective change-maker? Would the same " bystanders " regard that

necessary transformation as " mad " ? Of course they would. The DSM is

essentially the bystander bible. For the few listings which actually

describe serious mental illnesses, there's no real help offered by

meaningless measurements, where context is ignored and toxins never

mentioned. All these gene-theoried catagories are like taking a

snapshot of someone the moment they're being chased by a bear or

after having been shot up by poison but the bear and syringe are

edited out of the frame. All you're left with is " Ooh, look, how

crazy " . Stupid.

It's not about making the choice to allow oneself to feel things

intensely or " live on the edge " for at least a period of time, to get

familiar with the territory. Some do, some refuse to go there

regardless of circumstances. Not everyone who endures horrific trauma

allows themselves to feel what's there to be felt-- the outrage, the

sadness, and on up through the phases to proactive commitment to

changing the thing that harmed them, etc.. Some shut down, go into

denial, get all culty with the " positive thinking " (we've all seen

those types thrashing everyone to stop thinking about cause because

it's " negative " and " blaming " . Barf). Some just can't go the distance

and the only way out is through in many ways. Which I'd guess is

healthier.

For instance, there's one theory that " gifted " (whatever that

entails) individuals in particular defy most DSM diagnoses because

they tend to be able to metabolize more intense emotions, or to

tolerate pursuits which cause them to entertain more intense emotions

(like if you join Amnesty International and have the guts to care

about the refugees who don't make it accross the border and break

down from it, etc.). The idea is that, at any given moment, you

could " mental health screen " someone like this and come away

believing they were " overwrought " or " on the edge " but, to them, it

was just another day and it didn't mean they were going to lose it

permanently. Some people are emotional athletes.

I've wondered, what if you don't have a choice about being thrown

into dramatic, heartbreaking and shocking survival situations and you

can't afford to lose it? What if you or someone you love is

the " refugee " , not just the " caring helper " ? Does being forced into a

position where one has to metabolize more intense emotional states

*cause* " giftedness " or, as Dabrowski might put it, " evolution

through the necessary positive disintegration that creates true and

meaningful intellect " ? (had to adjust my monocle there).

I'm thinking it does. Maybe there's no real difference whether

someone chooses to care or is forced to, they're all going to get a

face-full of almost unbearable reality and will have to process it.

The ones who are forced to for survival are less likely to walk away

from the processing, so maybe many end up smarter in the end. When I

worked for domestic violence advocacy, I saw women who'd been beaten

half to death, who had no family support, who were being chased down

by psychotic stalkers, blamed by context, chased out of jobs by

victim-blamers, etc.. And they'd suddenly be able to take less than a

highschool degree and easily absorb tomes on, say, the role of the

hormone feedback system in PTSD and comprehend the weird references

in obscure poetry, would read stacks of biographies on MLK (who

mused about starting an organization for people like himself who

were " creatively maladjusted " ) and other activist heroes until they

could recount and apply abstract humanist theory to their own

experience and rip apart damaging pop psych conceptions of their

plight, etc.. Because their experience pushed them to it, because

they needed the information and because their emotional or even

literal survival depended upon it.

There's a lot to be said for living on the edge.

>

> I have to post this and I am going to try very hard not to upset

> anyone or violate Lenny's rules. But I have to say this. I lay

> awake in bed last night thinking about this for a long time. I

> almost logged in at 2 a.m. but I wanted to wait and collect all my

> thoughts before posting.

>

> A disclaimer before I begin -- I am not saying anyone in

particular

> is on the edge. I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist. I speak

> only from personal experience. But I do believe my personal

> experience is the common thread among many of us here, in varying

> degrees. It is what makes us all brothers and sisters in this

fight

> against autism via mercury poisoning.

>

> This is a truly maddening issue. A few minutes ago I saw a CNN

blurb

> on TV about a pelican that was shot through the beak with an

arrow.

> The poor bird cannot open its mouth to eat because of the way the

> arrow was shot into him. There is a frantic search for this bird

and

> the person who shot him.

>

> OK.

>

> I love animals. I believe cruelty to animals is unforgiveable and

> should be punishable by law.

>

> So, what about our children who have been knowingly damaged by hg

in

> vaccines? Where is the outrage? Where are the blurbs on CNN?

Where

> is the search to find these children and the people who injured

them?

>

> MY CHILD has had all the genetic and other testing pertinent to her

> diagnoses. She is 9-11 times more mercury poisoned that the median

> non-chelated mercury poisoned autistic person in the Geier and

Geier

> study. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about why she is autistic,

> why she has severe seizures weekly, why she is severely

> intellectually delayed, or why she has the other problems she has.

> It is all about mercury.

>

> This is maddening.

>

> This is maddening because I am educated about the facts of hg and

hg

> in vaccines. This is maddening because 1.5 million children have

> been knowingly damaged (minus the 10% who have Fragile x, Retts, or

> Tuberous sclerosis. I do not include the newly discovered 1% who

> have genetic mutations in/on chromosome 16 because I believe the

> mercury caused the mutation.) by hg in vaccines. Their lives and

the

> lives of the people who love them have been altered in a callous

and

> damaging way.

>

> It is MADDENING to me to see so much media attention directed at

> every single freaking thing BUT this.

>

> It is INSULTING AND MADDENING to read comments from the agenda-

driven

> ND and like-minded scientists and professionals.

>

> Many of us are here on this list because we love someone who has

been

> damaged by mercury in vaccines and we need a little support.

>

> We have all experienced different life situations growing up and in

> our adult lives. We have varying degrees of support - financial,

> emotional, etc. I think it is so wrong for any of us to attack

each

> other regardless of ANYTHING. We are fighting against the same

> thing. We are affected by the same thing. If we see someone who

> appears to be on the edge, I think we need to remember the CAUSE -

> the SOURCE.

>

> This is maddening. It may be less so to people who have supports.

> It may be less maddening to those who aren't faced with the

immediate

> uncertainty of " what will happen to my child when I'm gone? " It is

a

> known fact that mentally impaired people are abused in

institutions.

> It is not something we like to think about because it is so WRONG.

It

> is maddening to have to think of this when it is very possibly a

> reality for our precious children. For me, a mom with pretty much

no

> support at all, it is maddening for me to think about my child's

> future. The very last thing anyone should do to me for being

scared

> to death about that is to attack me.

>

> I think we all need to remember the roots of this madness before we

> do, say, or type anything.

>

> I am no professional, but I think people have been driven to

madness

> due to reasons far less severe (though no less severe to them, I'm

> sure) than watching their child poisoned by the very people who

were

> supposed to protect them, and be ridiculed by others for feeling

the

> very real things they are feeling and living, and watching their

> children live. And knowing this ridicule is just another extension

> of people benefitting financially from having damaged our children

> and our lives.

>

> Again, I am not attempting to label anyone mad or on the edge.

But,

> I myself have been to the edge 4 times since 2004. 3 of those

times

> one foot was dangling over the edge. If I had've had to endure

> backlashes from people on a support group, I don't know what would

> have happened.

>

> The ONLY support I have comes from people I have met on the

internet -

> people with whom my primary means of communicating with them is

> still the internet. Think about that for a second. There is no

> positive family involvement and our only babysitter is no longer

able

> to babysit for a couple of hours on weekends anymore because she

had

> 5 surgical procedures last year. She helps her single-parent son

> with his two very young daughters and also cares for her mother who

> has Parkinson's disease, who also lives with her.

>

> Those of you who know me know the people who pulled me back from

the

> edge - the same people who are helping recover my child.

>

> I have always been no more happy than my child has been at any

time.

> And I am OUTRAGED that she was deliberately damaged.

>

> I think we all need to remember that we are fighting the same

> battle. Some of us are handling it better, for whatever reasons,

but

> some us, for whatever reasons, reasons that are VALID, are not.

The

> last thing those of us who are acquainted with and/or familiar with

> the edge need is a nudge in the wrong direction.

>

> " To the world you may be just one person but to one person, you may

> be the world. "

>

> These are my thoughts and I thank you for reading them.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I've been on the most commonly known anti-depressants on the market,

despite having told my doctor that I'm not depressed; I'm angry.

Aside from horrible side effects from some of them, the main thing I

felt with all of them was apathy. No happy. No sad. No mad. They

just stripped me of every emotion. Now I just take a mild anti-

anxiety rx as needed. My health insurance ends when my daughter

turns 18 (though she has the mind of a 4-5 year old), so I will only

have that for a few more months.

> >

> > I have to post this and I am going to try very hard not to upset

> > anyone or violate Lenny's rules. But I have to say this. I lay

> > awake in bed last night thinking about this for a long time. I

> > almost logged in at 2 a.m. but I wanted to wait and collect all

my

> > thoughts before posting.

> >

> > A disclaimer before I begin -- I am not saying anyone in

> particular

> > is on the edge. I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist. I

speak

> > only from personal experience. But I do believe my personal

> > experience is the common thread among many of us here, in varying

> > degrees. It is what makes us all brothers and sisters in this

> fight

> > against autism via mercury poisoning.

> >

> > This is a truly maddening issue. A few minutes ago I saw a CNN

> blurb

> > on TV about a pelican that was shot through the beak with an

> arrow.

> > The poor bird cannot open its mouth to eat because of the way the

> > arrow was shot into him. There is a frantic search for this bird

> and

> > the person who shot him.

> >

> > OK.

> >

> > I love animals. I believe cruelty to animals is unforgiveable

and

> > should be punishable by law.

> >

> > So, what about our children who have been knowingly damaged by hg

> in

> > vaccines? Where is the outrage? Where are the blurbs on CNN?

> Where

> > is the search to find these children and the people who injured

> them?

> >

> > MY CHILD has had all the genetic and other testing pertinent to

her

> > diagnoses. She is 9-11 times more mercury poisoned that the

median

> > non-chelated mercury poisoned autistic person in the Geier and

> Geier

> > study. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about why she is

autistic,

> > why she has severe seizures weekly, why she is severely

> > intellectually delayed, or why she has the other problems she

has.

> > It is all about mercury.

> >

> > This is maddening.

> >

> > This is maddening because I am educated about the facts of hg and

> hg

> > in vaccines. This is maddening because 1.5 million children have

> > been knowingly damaged (minus the 10% who have Fragile x, Retts,

or

> > Tuberous sclerosis. I do not include the newly discovered 1% who

> > have genetic mutations in/on chromosome 16 because I believe the

> > mercury caused the mutation.) by hg in vaccines. Their lives and

> the

> > lives of the people who love them have been altered in a callous

> and

> > damaging way.

> >

> > It is MADDENING to me to see so much media attention directed at

> > every single freaking thing BUT this.

> >

> > It is INSULTING AND MADDENING to read comments from the agenda-

> driven

> > ND and like-minded scientists and professionals.

> >

> > Many of us are here on this list because we love someone who has

> been

> > damaged by mercury in vaccines and we need a little support.

> >

> > We have all experienced different life situations growing up and

in

> > our adult lives. We have varying degrees of support - financial,

> > emotional, etc. I think it is so wrong for any of us to attack

> each

> > other regardless of ANYTHING. We are fighting against the same

> > thing. We are affected by the same thing. If we see someone who

> > appears to be on the edge, I think we need to remember the CAUSE -

> > the SOURCE.

> >

> > This is maddening. It may be less so to people who have

supports.

> > It may be less maddening to those who aren't faced with the

> immediate

> > uncertainty of " what will happen to my child when I'm gone? " It

is

> a

> > known fact that mentally impaired people are abused in

> institutions.

> > It is not something we like to think about because it is so

WRONG.

> It

> > is maddening to have to think of this when it is very possibly a

> > reality for our precious children. For me, a mom with pretty

much

> no

> > support at all, it is maddening for me to think about my child's

> > future. The very last thing anyone should do to me for being

> scared

> > to death about that is to attack me.

> >

> > I think we all need to remember the roots of this madness before

we

> > do, say, or type anything.

> >

> > I am no professional, but I think people have been driven to

> madness

> > due to reasons far less severe (though no less severe to them,

I'm

> > sure) than watching their child poisoned by the very people who

> were

> > supposed to protect them, and be ridiculed by others for feeling

> the

> > very real things they are feeling and living, and watching their

> > children live. And knowing this ridicule is just another

extension

> > of people benefitting financially from having damaged our

children

> > and our lives.

> >

> > Again, I am not attempting to label anyone mad or on the edge.

> But,

> > I myself have been to the edge 4 times since 2004. 3 of those

> times

> > one foot was dangling over the edge. If I had've had to endure

> > backlashes from people on a support group, I don't know what

would

> > have happened.

> >

> > The ONLY support I have comes from people I have met on the

> internet -

> > people with whom my primary means of communicating with them is

> > still the internet. Think about that for a second. There is no

> > positive family involvement and our only babysitter is no longer

> able

> > to babysit for a couple of hours on weekends anymore because she

> had

> > 5 surgical procedures last year. She helps her single-parent son

> > with his two very young daughters and also cares for her mother

who

> > has Parkinson's disease, who also lives with her.

> >

> > Those of you who know me know the people who pulled me back from

> the

> > edge - the same people who are helping recover my child.

> >

> > I have always been no more happy than my child has been at any

> time.

> > And I am OUTRAGED that she was deliberately damaged.

> >

> > I think we all need to remember that we are fighting the same

> > battle. Some of us are handling it better, for whatever reasons,

> but

> > some us, for whatever reasons, reasons that are VALID, are not.

> The

> > last thing those of us who are acquainted with and/or familiar

with

> > the edge need is a nudge in the wrong direction.

> >

> > " To the world you may be just one person but to one person, you

may

> > be the world. "

> >

> > These are my thoughts and I thank you for reading them.

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I'm hoping for some big changes in insurance laws and coverage in the

next administration.

It's a good thing you got away from the SSRIs then. The " flat " comes

before the storm for a lot of people. I see this as another way of

victimizing families with effected kids. The anxiety related to

caring for our kids is savage and the public ignorance with leads to

the lack of social support is just a murderous combination. Then

there's the fact that pharma is double and triple-dipping for profits

from the epidemic by setting a drug trap for the overwhelmed, anxious

and demoralized parents and ensuring that the schools are setting

another for the kids when they won't " fit " into certain lousy, lying

special needs programs.

Harsh way to look at it, I know, but that would only be " cynical " if

I were exaggerating, right? If it's just the truth then it's

a " skeptical " view. Something's got to give.

> > >

> > > I have to post this and I am going to try very hard not to

upset

> > > anyone or violate Lenny's rules. But I have to say this. I

lay

> > > awake in bed last night thinking about this for a long time. I

> > > almost logged in at 2 a.m. but I wanted to wait and collect all

> my

> > > thoughts before posting.

> > >

> > > A disclaimer before I begin -- I am not saying anyone in

> > particular

> > > is on the edge. I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist. I

> speak

> > > only from personal experience. But I do believe my personal

> > > experience is the common thread among many of us here, in

varying

> > > degrees. It is what makes us all brothers and sisters in this

> > fight

> > > against autism via mercury poisoning.

> > >

> > > This is a truly maddening issue. A few minutes ago I saw a CNN

> > blurb

> > > on TV about a pelican that was shot through the beak with an

> > arrow.

> > > The poor bird cannot open its mouth to eat because of the way

the

> > > arrow was shot into him. There is a frantic search for this

bird

> > and

> > > the person who shot him.

> > >

> > > OK.

> > >

> > > I love animals. I believe cruelty to animals is unforgiveable

> and

> > > should be punishable by law.

> > >

> > > So, what about our children who have been knowingly damaged by

hg

> > in

> > > vaccines? Where is the outrage? Where are the blurbs on CNN?

> > Where

> > > is the search to find these children and the people who injured

> > them?

> > >

> > > MY CHILD has had all the genetic and other testing pertinent to

> her

> > > diagnoses. She is 9-11 times more mercury poisoned that the

> median

> > > non-chelated mercury poisoned autistic person in the Geier and

> > Geier

> > > study. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about why she is

> autistic,

> > > why she has severe seizures weekly, why she is severely

> > > intellectually delayed, or why she has the other problems she

> has.

> > > It is all about mercury.

> > >

> > > This is maddening.

> > >

> > > This is maddening because I am educated about the facts of hg

and

> > hg

> > > in vaccines. This is maddening because 1.5 million children

have

> > > been knowingly damaged (minus the 10% who have Fragile x,

Retts,

> or

> > > Tuberous sclerosis. I do not include the newly discovered 1%

who

> > > have genetic mutations in/on chromosome 16 because I believe

the

> > > mercury caused the mutation.) by hg in vaccines. Their lives

and

> > the

> > > lives of the people who love them have been altered in a

callous

> > and

> > > damaging way.

> > >

> > > It is MADDENING to me to see so much media attention directed

at

> > > every single freaking thing BUT this.

> > >

> > > It is INSULTING AND MADDENING to read comments from the agenda-

> > driven

> > > ND and like-minded scientists and professionals.

> > >

> > > Many of us are here on this list because we love someone who

has

> > been

> > > damaged by mercury in vaccines and we need a little support.

> > >

> > > We have all experienced different life situations growing up

and

> in

> > > our adult lives. We have varying degrees of support -

financial,

> > > emotional, etc. I think it is so wrong for any of us to attack

> > each

> > > other regardless of ANYTHING. We are fighting against the same

> > > thing. We are affected by the same thing. If we see someone

who

> > > appears to be on the edge, I think we need to remember the

CAUSE -

>

> > > the SOURCE.

> > >

> > > This is maddening. It may be less so to people who have

> supports.

> > > It may be less maddening to those who aren't faced with the

> > immediate

> > > uncertainty of " what will happen to my child when I'm gone? "

It

> is

> > a

> > > known fact that mentally impaired people are abused in

> > institutions.

> > > It is not something we like to think about because it is so

> WRONG.

> > It

> > > is maddening to have to think of this when it is very possibly

a

> > > reality for our precious children. For me, a mom with pretty

> much

> > no

> > > support at all, it is maddening for me to think about my

child's

> > > future. The very last thing anyone should do to me for being

> > scared

> > > to death about that is to attack me.

> > >

> > > I think we all need to remember the roots of this madness

before

> we

> > > do, say, or type anything.

> > >

> > > I am no professional, but I think people have been driven to

> > madness

> > > due to reasons far less severe (though no less severe to them,

> I'm

> > > sure) than watching their child poisoned by the very people who

> > were

> > > supposed to protect them, and be ridiculed by others for

feeling

> > the

> > > very real things they are feeling and living, and watching

their

> > > children live. And knowing this ridicule is just another

> extension

> > > of people benefitting financially from having damaged our

> children

> > > and our lives.

> > >

> > > Again, I am not attempting to label anyone mad or on the edge.

> > But,

> > > I myself have been to the edge 4 times since 2004. 3 of those

> > times

> > > one foot was dangling over the edge. If I had've had to endure

> > > backlashes from people on a support group, I don't know what

> would

> > > have happened.

> > >

> > > The ONLY support I have comes from people I have met on the

> > internet -

> > > people with whom my primary means of communicating with them

is

> > > still the internet. Think about that for a second. There is

no

> > > positive family involvement and our only babysitter is no

longer

> > able

> > > to babysit for a couple of hours on weekends anymore because

she

> > had

> > > 5 surgical procedures last year. She helps her single-parent

son

> > > with his two very young daughters and also cares for her mother

> who

> > > has Parkinson's disease, who also lives with her.

> > >

> > > Those of you who know me know the people who pulled me back

from

> > the

> > > edge - the same people who are helping recover my child.

> > >

> > > I have always been no more happy than my child has been at any

> > time.

> > > And I am OUTRAGED that she was deliberately damaged.

> > >

> > > I think we all need to remember that we are fighting the same

> > > battle. Some of us are handling it better, for whatever

reasons,

> > but

> > > some us, for whatever reasons, reasons that are VALID, are

not.

> > The

> > > last thing those of us who are acquainted with and/or familiar

> with

> > > the edge need is a nudge in the wrong direction.

> > >

> > > " To the world you may be just one person but to one person, you

> may

> > > be the world. "

> > >

> > > These are my thoughts and I thank you for reading them.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

Everyday, my husband and I alternate anger, sadness, determination,

and hope in a never ending cycle. I am appalled by the media's lack

of interest. I am appalled by the attitude of " my kid's not affected

so I don't really care " . Don't they realize their grandchildren might

be the generation affected finally?? I even got that attitude from my

sister's in-law when I tried to explain it to them. All of them have

children with either immune dysfunction or (fortunately) mild

learning disabilities. Yet, since they don't have " Autism " , they are

all for vaccines and don't see the correlation.

You are not alone.

>

> I have to post this and I am going to try very hard not to upset

> anyone or violate Lenny's rules. But I have to say this. I lay

> awake in bed last night thinking about this for a long time. I

> almost logged in at 2 a.m. but I wanted to wait and collect all my

> thoughts before posting.

>

> A disclaimer before I begin -- I am not saying anyone in

particular

> is on the edge. I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist. I speak

> only from personal experience. But I do believe my personal

> experience is the common thread among many of us here, in varying

> degrees. It is what makes us all brothers and sisters in this

fight

> against autism via mercury poisoning.

>

> This is a truly maddening issue. A few minutes ago I saw a CNN

blurb

> on TV about a pelican that was shot through the beak with an

arrow.

> The poor bird cannot open its mouth to eat because of the way the

> arrow was shot into him. There is a frantic search for this bird

and

> the person who shot him.

>

> OK.

>

> I love animals. I believe cruelty to animals is unforgiveable and

> should be punishable by law.

>

> So, what about our children who have been knowingly damaged by hg

in

> vaccines? Where is the outrage? Where are the blurbs on CNN?

Where

> is the search to find these children and the people who injured

them?

>

> MY CHILD has had all the genetic and other testing pertinent to her

> diagnoses. She is 9-11 times more mercury poisoned that the median

> non-chelated mercury poisoned autistic person in the Geier and

Geier

> study. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about why she is autistic,

> why she has severe seizures weekly, why she is severely

> intellectually delayed, or why she has the other problems she has.

> It is all about mercury.

>

> This is maddening.

>

> This is maddening because I am educated about the facts of hg and

hg

> in vaccines. This is maddening because 1.5 million children have

> been knowingly damaged (minus the 10% who have Fragile x, Retts, or

> Tuberous sclerosis. I do not include the newly discovered 1% who

> have genetic mutations in/on chromosome 16 because I believe the

> mercury caused the mutation.) by hg in vaccines. Their lives and

the

> lives of the people who love them have been altered in a callous

and

> damaging way.

>

> It is MADDENING to me to see so much media attention directed at

> every single freaking thing BUT this.

>

> It is INSULTING AND MADDENING to read comments from the agenda-

driven

> ND and like-minded scientists and professionals.

>

> Many of us are here on this list because we love someone who has

been

> damaged by mercury in vaccines and we need a little support.

>

> We have all experienced different life situations growing up and in

> our adult lives. We have varying degrees of support - financial,

> emotional, etc. I think it is so wrong for any of us to attack

each

> other regardless of ANYTHING. We are fighting against the same

> thing. We are affected by the same thing. If we see someone who

> appears to be on the edge, I think we need to remember the CAUSE -

> the SOURCE.

>

> This is maddening. It may be less so to people who have supports.

> It may be less maddening to those who aren't faced with the

immediate

> uncertainty of " what will happen to my child when I'm gone? " It is

a

> known fact that mentally impaired people are abused in

institutions.

> It is not something we like to think about because it is so WRONG.

It

> is maddening to have to think of this when it is very possibly a

> reality for our precious children. For me, a mom with pretty much

no

> support at all, it is maddening for me to think about my child's

> future. The very last thing anyone should do to me for being

scared

> to death about that is to attack me.

>

> I think we all need to remember the roots of this madness before we

> do, say, or type anything.

>

> I am no professional, but I think people have been driven to

madness

> due to reasons far less severe (though no less severe to them, I'm

> sure) than watching their child poisoned by the very people who

were

> supposed to protect them, and be ridiculed by others for feeling

the

> very real things they are feeling and living, and watching their

> children live. And knowing this ridicule is just another extension

> of people benefitting financially from having damaged our children

> and our lives.

>

> Again, I am not attempting to label anyone mad or on the edge.

But,

> I myself have been to the edge 4 times since 2004. 3 of those

times

> one foot was dangling over the edge. If I had've had to endure

> backlashes from people on a support group, I don't know what would

> have happened.

>

> The ONLY support I have comes from people I have met on the

internet -

> people with whom my primary means of communicating with them is

> still the internet. Think about that for a second. There is no

> positive family involvement and our only babysitter is no longer

able

> to babysit for a couple of hours on weekends anymore because she

had

> 5 surgical procedures last year. She helps her single-parent son

> with his two very young daughters and also cares for her mother who

> has Parkinson's disease, who also lives with her.

>

> Those of you who know me know the people who pulled me back from

the

> edge - the same people who are helping recover my child.

>

> I have always been no more happy than my child has been at any

time.

> And I am OUTRAGED that she was deliberately damaged.

>

> I think we all need to remember that we are fighting the same

> battle. Some of us are handling it better, for whatever reasons,

but

> some us, for whatever reasons, reasons that are VALID, are not.

The

> last thing those of us who are acquainted with and/or familiar with

> the edge need is a nudge in the wrong direction.

>

> " To the world you may be just one person but to one person, you may

> be the world. "

>

> These are my thoughts and I thank you for reading them.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

They don't see us ~They don't see our children struggling out at sea.

Even though we feel like we have badgered congress, media outlets;

they don't see us out in public struggling with our kids enough. So

many have to stay home for various reasons. I rarely take my son with

me to the store. Not because I don't want to, but to get thru the

effort of getting the job done -- I only have so much energy to tire

thru the tasks each day. I do have my staff taking my son to a Pet

store several times a week - to the same store. He loves it, and I

want people there to know who he is, and understand he counts.

In EOHarm , " soapforum " <soapforum@...> wrote:

>

> I have to post this and I am going to try very hard not to upset

> anyone or violate Lenny's rules. But I have to say this. I lay

> awake in bed last night thinking about this for a long time. I

> almost logged in at 2 a.m. but I wanted to wait and collect all my

> thoughts before posting.

>

> A disclaimer before I begin -- I am not saying anyone in

particular

> is on the edge. I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist. I speak

> only from personal experience. But I do believe my personal

> experience is the common thread among many of us here, in varying

> degrees. It is what makes us all brothers and sisters in this

fight

> against autism via mercury poisoning.

>

> This is a truly maddening issue. A few minutes ago I saw a CNN

blurb

> on TV about a pelican that was shot through the beak with an

arrow.

> The poor bird cannot open its mouth to eat because of the way the

> arrow was shot into him. There is a frantic search for this bird

and

> the person who shot him.

>

> OK.

>

> I love animals. I believe cruelty to animals is unforgiveable and

> should be punishable by law.

>

> So, what about our children who have been knowingly damaged by hg

in

> vaccines? Where is the outrage? Where are the blurbs on CNN?

Where

> is the search to find these children and the people who injured

them?

>

> MY CHILD has had all the genetic and other testing pertinent to her

> diagnoses. She is 9-11 times more mercury poisoned that the median

> non-chelated mercury poisoned autistic person in the Geier and

Geier

> study. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about why she is autistic,

> why she has severe seizures weekly, why she is severely

> intellectually delayed, or why she has the other problems she has.

> It is all about mercury.

>

> This is maddening.

>

> This is maddening because I am educated about the facts of hg and

hg

> in vaccines. This is maddening because 1.5 million children have

> been knowingly damaged (minus the 10% who have Fragile x, Retts, or

> Tuberous sclerosis. I do not include the newly discovered 1% who

> have genetic mutations in/on chromosome 16 because I believe the

> mercury caused the mutation.) by hg in vaccines. Their lives and

the

> lives of the people who love them have been altered in a callous

and

> damaging way.

>

> It is MADDENING to me to see so much media attention directed at

> every single freaking thing BUT this.

>

> It is INSULTING AND MADDENING to read comments from the agenda-

driven

> ND and like-minded scientists and professionals.

>

> Many of us are here on this list because we love someone who has

been

> damaged by mercury in vaccines and we need a little support.

>

> We have all experienced different life situations growing up and in

> our adult lives. We have varying degrees of support - financial,

> emotional, etc. I think it is so wrong for any of us to attack

each

> other regardless of ANYTHING. We are fighting against the same

> thing. We are affected by the same thing. If we see someone who

> appears to be on the edge, I think we need to remember the CAUSE -

> the SOURCE.

>

> This is maddening. It may be less so to people who have supports.

> It may be less maddening to those who aren't faced with the

immediate

> uncertainty of " what will happen to my child when I'm gone? " It is

a

> known fact that mentally impaired people are abused in

institutions.

> It is not something we like to think about because it is so WRONG.

It

> is maddening to have to think of this when it is very possibly a

> reality for our precious children. For me, a mom with pretty much

no

> support at all, it is maddening for me to think about my child's

> future. The very last thing anyone should do to me for being

scared

> to death about that is to attack me.

>

> I think we all need to remember the roots of this madness before we

> do, say, or type anything.

>

> I am no professional, but I think people have been driven to

madness

> due to reasons far less severe (though no less severe to them, I'm

> sure) than watching their child poisoned by the very people who

were

> supposed to protect them, and be ridiculed by others for feeling

the

> very real things they are feeling and living, and watching their

> children live. And knowing this ridicule is just another extension

> of people benefitting financially from having damaged our children

> and our lives.

>

> Again, I am not attempting to label anyone mad or on the edge.

But,

> I myself have been to the edge 4 times since 2004. 3 of those

times

> one foot was dangling over the edge. If I had've had to endure

> backlashes from people on a support group, I don't know what would

> have happened.

>

> The ONLY support I have comes from people I have met on the

internet -

> people with whom my primary means of communicating with them is

> still the internet. Think about that for a second. There is no

> positive family involvement and our only babysitter is no longer

able

> to babysit for a couple of hours on weekends anymore because she

had

> 5 surgical procedures last year. She helps her single-parent son

> with his two very young daughters and also cares for her mother who

> has Parkinson's disease, who also lives with her.

>

> Those of you who know me know the people who pulled me back from

the

> edge - the same people who are helping recover my child.

>

> I have always been no more happy than my child has been at any

time.

> And I am OUTRAGED that she was deliberately damaged.

>

> I think we all need to remember that we are fighting the same

> battle. Some of us are handling it better, for whatever reasons,

but

> some us, for whatever reasons, reasons that are VALID, are not.

The

> last thing those of us who are acquainted with and/or familiar with

> the edge need is a nudge in the wrong direction.

>

> " To the world you may be just one person but to one person, you may

> be the world. "

>

> These are my thoughts and I thank you for reading them.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you .

> >

> > I have to post this and I am going to try very hard not to upset

> > anyone or violate Lenny's rules. But I have to say this. I lay

> > awake in bed last night thinking about this for a long time. I

> > almost logged in at 2 a.m. but I wanted to wait and collect all

my

> > thoughts before posting.

> >

> > A disclaimer before I begin -- I am not saying anyone in

> particular

> > is on the edge. I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist. I

speak

> > only from personal experience. But I do believe my personal

> > experience is the common thread among many of us here, in varying

> > degrees. It is what makes us all brothers and sisters in this

> fight

> > against autism via mercury poisoning.

> >

> > This is a truly maddening issue. A few minutes ago I saw a CNN

> blurb

> > on TV about a pelican that was shot through the beak with an

> arrow.

> > The poor bird cannot open its mouth to eat because of the way the

> > arrow was shot into him. There is a frantic search for this bird

> and

> > the person who shot him.

> >

> > OK.

> >

> > I love animals. I believe cruelty to animals is unforgiveable

and

> > should be punishable by law.

> >

> > So, what about our children who have been knowingly damaged by hg

> in

> > vaccines? Where is the outrage? Where are the blurbs on CNN?

> Where

> > is the search to find these children and the people who injured

> them?

> >

> > MY CHILD has had all the genetic and other testing pertinent to

her

> > diagnoses. She is 9-11 times more mercury poisoned that the

median

> > non-chelated mercury poisoned autistic person in the Geier and

> Geier

> > study. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about why she is

autistic,

> > why she has severe seizures weekly, why she is severely

> > intellectually delayed, or why she has the other problems she

has.

> > It is all about mercury.

> >

> > This is maddening.

> >

> > This is maddening because I am educated about the facts of hg and

> hg

> > in vaccines. This is maddening because 1.5 million children have

> > been knowingly damaged (minus the 10% who have Fragile x, Retts,

or

> > Tuberous sclerosis. I do not include the newly discovered 1% who

> > have genetic mutations in/on chromosome 16 because I believe the

> > mercury caused the mutation.) by hg in vaccines. Their lives and

> the

> > lives of the people who love them have been altered in a callous

> and

> > damaging way.

> >

> > It is MADDENING to me to see so much media attention directed at

> > every single freaking thing BUT this.

> >

> > It is INSULTING AND MADDENING to read comments from the agenda-

> driven

> > ND and like-minded scientists and professionals.

> >

> > Many of us are here on this list because we love someone who has

> been

> > damaged by mercury in vaccines and we need a little support.

> >

> > We have all experienced different life situations growing up and

in

> > our adult lives. We have varying degrees of support - financial,

> > emotional, etc. I think it is so wrong for any of us to attack

> each

> > other regardless of ANYTHING. We are fighting against the same

> > thing. We are affected by the same thing. If we see someone who

> > appears to be on the edge, I think we need to remember the CAUSE -

> > the SOURCE.

> >

> > This is maddening. It may be less so to people who have

supports.

> > It may be less maddening to those who aren't faced with the

> immediate

> > uncertainty of " what will happen to my child when I'm gone? " It

is

> a

> > known fact that mentally impaired people are abused in

> institutions.

> > It is not something we like to think about because it is so

WRONG.

> It

> > is maddening to have to think of this when it is very possibly a

> > reality for our precious children. For me, a mom with pretty

much

> no

> > support at all, it is maddening for me to think about my child's

> > future. The very last thing anyone should do to me for being

> scared

> > to death about that is to attack me.

> >

> > I think we all need to remember the roots of this madness before

we

> > do, say, or type anything.

> >

> > I am no professional, but I think people have been driven to

> madness

> > due to reasons far less severe (though no less severe to them,

I'm

> > sure) than watching their child poisoned by the very people who

> were

> > supposed to protect them, and be ridiculed by others for feeling

> the

> > very real things they are feeling and living, and watching their

> > children live. And knowing this ridicule is just another

extension

> > of people benefitting financially from having damaged our

children

> > and our lives.

> >

> > Again, I am not attempting to label anyone mad or on the edge.

> But,

> > I myself have been to the edge 4 times since 2004. 3 of those

> times

> > one foot was dangling over the edge. If I had've had to endure

> > backlashes from people on a support group, I don't know what

would

> > have happened.

> >

> > The ONLY support I have comes from people I have met on the

> internet -

> > people with whom my primary means of communicating with them is

> > still the internet. Think about that for a second. There is no

> > positive family involvement and our only babysitter is no longer

> able

> > to babysit for a couple of hours on weekends anymore because she

> had

> > 5 surgical procedures last year. She helps her single-parent son

> > with his two very young daughters and also cares for her mother

who

> > has Parkinson's disease, who also lives with her.

> >

> > Those of you who know me know the people who pulled me back from

> the

> > edge - the same people who are helping recover my child.

> >

> > I have always been no more happy than my child has been at any

> time.

> > And I am OUTRAGED that she was deliberately damaged.

> >

> > I think we all need to remember that we are fighting the same

> > battle. Some of us are handling it better, for whatever reasons,

> but

> > some us, for whatever reasons, reasons that are VALID, are not.

> The

> > last thing those of us who are acquainted with and/or familiar

with

> > the edge need is a nudge in the wrong direction.

> >

> > " To the world you may be just one person but to one person, you

may

> > be the world. "

> >

> > These are my thoughts and I thank you for reading them.

> >

> >

> >

>