Re: Just Playing Catch-up now Feelings

[Guest guest]

Hi Judi,

I know sort of how you feel and I am dreading the

first IEP meeting for Landon. I can't believe they are

still using the term mental retardation. Here in South

Carolina we use mentally disabled. I know it is the

same thing but is sounds less harsh to me. I

personally prefer the term developmentally disabled.

It is used for children under 5 in S.C. I know when

Landon had his psychological done, he was

significantly delayed in gross motor and I teared up.

Eventhough I knew it in my heart, it hurts more on

paper. I just can't explain it either. In a certain

way, I envy your situation with the boys. Please don't

take this the wrong way but I feel they will always

have each other. I'm scared Ashton will outgrow

Landon and they won't be close at all. Plus, I feel

that they won't be in the same class at school, etc. I

also worry about Landon going to school at three and

Ashton not qualifying. I will more than likely have

Landon at school and Ashton at nursery. I can't punish

Landon by not receiving services just because I want

them together.It will really be hard to split them up.

Either way, being a parent of identical twins with ds

or fraternal twins with one having ds both have their

disadvantages and advantages. Like you said, the hurt

never goes away, it just gets a little easier to live

with. After I read both you and Gail's post, I teared

up. It seems that since Landon was born, I cry easier.

Have any of you experienced this?. It's almost like I

constantly wear my heart on my sleeve. I know we will

all have these days from time to time. I'm just glad

we all have each other. I truly believe, I would lose

it very often if I didn't have you guys.(((((

Hugs))))) to you Judi and thanks for being there in

the past.. before the list and now.

mom to

Landon (ds) and Ashton 18months

--- Judi Grossman <judig2@...> wrote:

> Hi All! I've had some trouble w/my e:mail and so I

> was just going thru the archives catching up on

> what's

> been going on. Hopefully my troubles are thru and I

> can see your posts once again.

>

> : I loved the 12 days of Christmas. I think

> I'm

> going to include that with our Christmas Cards and

> Annual Grossman Update letter. Thanks for sharing

> it.

>

> We had our ARD/IEP meeting w/the School yesterday.

> The

> boys are set to start on Jan.4th. The meeting went

> well, we agreed with their assessements and their

> IEP's, goals, and services. It was a pretty good

> meeting, just LONG (over 2 hrs). We brought the

> boys

> with us and they played in the classroom with the

> other kids.

>

> One thing that happened in signing all that

> paperwork

> that really bowled me over was the fact that we had

> to

> choose a " label " for the boys' disability

> identifying

> what qualifies them for PPCD. Basically it was 2

> choices, " mental retardation " or " severe language

> delay " . I don't know why the term " mental

> retardation " is bothering me so much, but it is. At

> the time it didn't affect me, but this morning as I

> was driving to work, I started thinking about it and

> I

> started crying. I mean, I know that's a part of

> them

> having down syndrome, and I truly don't think that

> I'm

> in denial about anything, it's just I don't think

> about that being something that defines Sam and

> . I know they aren't EXACTLY like other kids

> their age and I know there's always going to be

> differences. Maybe it's the fact that someone else

> sees them that way that hurts me so much. I'm

> having

> a hard time typing this because the tears have

> started

> again and I'm at work and I'm really hoping no one

> comes over to talk to me right now, because I just

> don't think I could explain it. But, I knew I could

> talk about it to you all. I just really neet a hug

> right now .... Just another emotional hurdle to get

> past. I haven't had one in a while. I know this

> too

> will pass.

>

> Thanks for listening.

>

> Judi-Mom to Sam and , almost 3! Identical

> Twins

> __________________________________________________

>