Re: questions: how do you get that yellow highlighting in your messages? and why do Tom _et_al._ hate me so?

[Guest guest]

Though this was addressed to Maurice, I will respond.

" Maurice - I've two questions (not about religions) that I hope you

can answer.

/1/ How do you get that yellow highlighting in your messages? "

If you sign in to the groups, you can hit an option called Rich-Text

Editor (Beta).

This allows you to insert smilies, change and color font, and

highlight text.

Not sure how you do this if you post via e-mail.

/2/ And why do Tom, Raven, , and Inger hate me so?

I don't hate you.

Inger tends not to hate anyone no matter what they do to her. Inger

was merely pointing out that she took issue with some of your posts.

I cannot speak for Raven and , and probably should not have

spoken for Inger.

" Tom (for instance) has called me racist (apparently for saying

that, to me, classification of humans by color seems a little racist),

has told me he will now moderate my messages and that he will also

closely examine all my previous messages (the ones I sent before he

put me on moderation) as he considers what to do with me. I assume

this means that Tom will determine whether I have the good morals

and/or social graces necessary to belong here. "

Classifying humans by color sounds racist on the surface of it. When

I was young, my gandmother used to refer to people with dark skin

is " colored. " Bruce Springsteen's lyric in Born in the USA " To go and

kill the yellow man... " displeased a woman I was tutoring in college

from Burma, but she was an English major and understood the poetic

necessity of using the terms to make the lyrics ring.

Still, obviously using color as a device for categorization sounds

offensive.

But what has to be kept in mind was that Raven was merely imparting

what her ancestors believed and (I assume) what her contemporaries

believe, except that she was transcibing it in the terms they were

imparted to her.

In terms of what she said, I find what she wrote quite beautiful.

When you were reading what she wrote, it seemed you seized on the

references to skin colors and labeled the whole thing as somehow

racist.

Implicit in your statement is that Raven's entire culture is racist

and somewhat backward and primitive. This seems to me to be

prejudicial and racist. But perhaps I see it this way because my ex-

wife was part Native American and because raven and I are friends.

The point is, we have to look past what at first appears offensive to

see if anything offensive is actually there. You did not do so, but

merely persisted in arguing the point, thus I put you on moderation.

You should know that I did so of my own free will because my

judgement told me to do so, but you should also know that people

ASKED me to do it. Many people. They did this via personal e-mail.

The reason for their request to have you placed on moderation was

your blasting of Raven's supposed racism, and how you toyed with

and his method and mode of expression.

" Raven, , and Inger have interpreted other posts of mine

otherwise than I meant them. "

I disagree. I also see it their way and so do others.

" Raven in particular has decided that I offended her on purpose, with

malice aforethought (I did NOT, as he imagines, set out and plan to

offend) - that nothing else but intentional rudeness and malice can

have motivated words from me that left her feeling so hurt. "

You did aplogize to her, which was good. I think what set Raven off

was your attacking her simple statement regarding aboriginal beliefs

and the skin colors described in them. No ill will was meant on your

part.

The use of the words " painted faces " in subsequent posts did not sit

well with her either, and one can certainly understand this given

that Native Americans wore face paint.

" To me, this sounds as if she imagined she knows my mind better than

I know it myself. "

Your mind shows through in your posts, as I shall soon illustrate.

" Raven and Inger have each accused me of " baiting " about poor

grammar despite the fact that (twice, once each in two separate

listserv messages) I stated publicly that 's grammar looks just

fine to me. "

Then why persist with taking issue with it? You WERE baiting him.

has his own mode of expression. While I freely admit that he

can be hard to understand sometimes, it's his manner of expression

and we have no right to demand that he change it, especially if he

cannot.

While I believe that it's acceptable to ask for

clarification, " incessant " is in the dictionary, and you could have

looked it up. If he or I have spelled it wrong, you could try

alternate spellings. If you could not find it in the dictionary, the

fault is with your dictionary and your lack of vocabulary, not

or me.

" When I asked for the meanings of words he used (that I didn't

know and couldn't find in dictionaries), instead of accepting this

plainly and literally (as a simple request for information) it seems

he decided that I asked only to mock him. "

You WERE mocking him.

Your posts are clearly intelligent. You use both good grammar and

diction, and with all other posts but 's, you have no problem

drawing meaning from context. It's not that much of a stretch to

infer meaning from 's post, and if you cannot do so, you may

ask for clarification, but he is not obliged to reply.

In light of how you homed in on a person of a different culture and

assaulted her values and customs, and in light of how you homed in on

's weak writing skills, it seems that you clearly went at two

people whom you regarded as lesser people and attacked them.

" How, without mind-reading powers, does a person determine whether to

treat an unknown character-string as a new word (and try to learn its

meaning) or as a familiar word unrecognizably spelled? "

I will grant you that perhaps, as part of your own AS, drawing

meaning from 's posts might be hard for you. Perhaps they are

too cryptic for you to decipher.

I will also grant you that perhaps, as part of your AS, you could not

see that Raven was listing out facts and not denigrating anyone with

her segregating people into colors.

" ( and Raven have informed me that I should not have found

's spellings confusing or unrecognizable. "

They make the assumption that you are capable of drawing meaning from

's cryptic context. Obviously, you cannot.

" Raven has gone further and said that the fact that I did not

understand at times means really that I actually did understand

him but that I just maliciously wanted to pretend that I didn't, as a

way of taunting ... though I don't understand, and have never

understood, why anyone would even want to taunt somebody because of

not understanding him or her. When I don't understand something, I ask

- here on FAM, does asking count as taunting?) "

Kate, because can post no other way than how he posts, there

will be things you may not be able to understand in each and every

one of them. Telling him to go take linguistics classes so that you

and others can understand him better is rude.

On this forum, everyone express themselves using their own words

provided they aren't attacking anyone. attacks no one with his

posts, although he will respond defensively sometimes.

You, on the other hand, continually told to explain himself to

the point where he was clearly flustered, yet you persisted in

hounding him.

Goin froward, I would ask that you think twice about what people are

saying before you assume the worst, as you have in Raven's case, and

that you simply accept 's mode of expression as it is.

In light of your unasked for apology to both Raven and , I will

consider removing your moderation on this forum pending your reply to

this post.

Tom

Administrator

Yours for better letters,

Kate Gladstone

Handwriting Repair and the World Handwriting Contest

handwritingrepair@...

http://learn.to/handwrite,

http://www.global2000.net/handwritingrepair

325 South Manning Boulevard

Albany, New York 12208-1731 USA

telephone 518/482-6763

AND REMEMBER ...

you can order books through my site!

(Amazon.com link -

I get a 5% - 15% commission on each book sold)

[Guest guest]

Tom - thanks for your very clear and helpful explanations both about

the technical matter (yellow highlighting) and other, more difficult

matters.

I did respond to Raven (about colors, etc.) in a " knee-jerk " way which

I will strive to overcome. As you say:

> ... we have to look past what at first appears offensive to

> see if anything offensive is actually there ...

Thanks for recognizing:

>

> You did aplogize to her, which was good. I think what set Raven off

> was your attacking her simple statement regarding aboriginal beliefs

> and the skin colors described in them. No ill will was meant on your

> part.

>

> The use of the words " painted faces " in subsequent posts ...

I did use the phrase " paint job " in one message. Please let me know

in which post I used the words " painted faces " so that I can print

that out to put with the " paint jobs " one as a reminder not to act

like a jerk again. (I did a search on my own posts, but couldn't find

the ones you mention that used the words " painted faces. " )

I do admit that I find 's posts (or some of them) much more

cryptic than other material here or elsewhere. I offer that as an

explanation, not as an excuse - again, I apologize to ... and I

promise not to say one word here, ever again, about how

expresses himself. As you point out, he has no choice in the matter.

>Telling him to go take linguistics classes so that you

> and others can understand him better is rude.

You misunderstood why I suggested linguistics classes. As a

linguistics major, I believe that linguistics classes would have

reassured him (as they have reassured others in similar situations)

that he does *not* indeed have a problem with grammar: his " special

ed " teachers labeled him with a problem that he does not in fact have.

I thought I had made this plainer than I apparently did.

I promise, in any case, to do as you ask: to...

> ... think twice about what people are

> saying before you assume the worst, as you have in Raven's case, and

> that you simply accept 's mode of expression as it is.

>

> In light of your unasked for apology to both Raven and , I will

> consider removing your moderation on this forum pending your reply to

> this post.

Thanks, Tom!

Yours for better letters,

Kate Gladstone

Handwriting Repair and the World Handwriting Contest

handwritingrepair@...

http://learn.to/handwrite, http://www.global2000.net/handwritingrepair

325 South Manning Boulevard

Albany, New York 12208-1731 USA

telephone 518/482-6763

AND REMEMBER ...

you can order books through my site!

(Amazon.com link -

I get a 5% - 15% commission on each book sold)

[Guest guest]

" I did use the phrase " paint job " in one message. Please let me

know in which post I used the words " painted faces " so that I can

print that out to put with the " paint jobs " one as a reminder not to

act like a jerk again. (I did a search on my own posts, but couldn't

find the ones you mention that used the words " painted faces. " ) "

My mistake. It was paint jobs.

" You misunderstood why I suggested linguistics classes. As a

linguistics major, I believe that linguistics classes would have

reassured him (as they have reassured others in similar situations)

that he does *not* indeed have a problem with grammar: his " special

ed " teachers labeled him with a problem that he does not in fact have. "

As you have surely seen, my posts are filled with spelling errors, and

other mistakes. This is usually because I am pressed for time and

can't afford much time to proofread.

Nevertheless, I was an English major in college and had several

linguistics classes. I also took an extremely enjoyable

transformational grammar class taught by a student of Noam Chompsky.

My feeling is that

A) While could benefit from linguistics classes, it is not my

place to tell him to take them or suggest that he take them.

His problem is one that is neurological rather than one caused by

simple ignorance.

C) Aside from that, he simply enjoys playing with language and being

inventive.

While meaning can be obstructed sometimes by his innovative

communicative style, it's one of the things that makes

..., and so I am content to let him express himself in his

own way.

I am removing your moderation. There is usually some small delay while

process the request. But I should think you can post without

your posts being moderated sometime today if not immediately.

Tom

Administrator

[Guest guest]

" I did use the phrase " paint job " in one message. Please let me

know in which post I used the words " painted faces " so that I can

print that out to put with the " paint jobs " one as a reminder not to

act like a jerk again. (I did a search on my own posts, but couldn't

find the ones you mention that used the words " painted faces. " ) "

My mistake. It was paint jobs.

" You misunderstood why I suggested linguistics classes. As a

linguistics major, I believe that linguistics classes would have

reassured him (as they have reassured others in similar situations)

that he does *not* indeed have a problem with grammar: his " special

ed " teachers labeled him with a problem that he does not in fact have. "

As you have surely seen, my posts are filled with spelling errors, and

other mistakes. This is usually because I am pressed for time and

can't afford much time to proofread.

Nevertheless, I was an English major in college and had several

linguistics classes. I also took an extremely enjoyable

transformational grammar class taught by a student of Noam Chompsky.

My feeling is that

A) While could benefit from linguistics classes, it is not my

place to tell him to take them or suggest that he take them.

His problem is one that is neurological rather than one caused by

simple ignorance.

C) Aside from that, he simply enjoys playing with language and being

inventive.

While meaning can be obstructed sometimes by his innovative

communicative style, it's one of the things that makes

..., and so I am content to let him express himself in his

own way.

I am removing your moderation. There is usually some small delay while

process the request. But I should think you can post without

your posts being moderated sometime today if not immediately.

Tom

Administrator

[Guest guest]

Re:

> I am removing your moderation. There is usually some small delay while

> process the request. But I should think you can post without

> your posts being moderated sometime today if not immediately.

Thanks, Tom, for that and for the perspectives given in your message.

Yours for better letters,

Kate Gladstone

Handwriting Repair and the World Handwriting Contest

handwritingrepair@...

http://learn.to/handwrite, http://www.global2000.net/handwritingrepair

325 South Manning Boulevard

Albany, New York 12208-1731 USA

telephone 518/482-6763

AND REMEMBER ...

you can order books through my site!

(Amazon.com link -

I get a 5% - 15% commission on each book sold)

[Guest guest]

Re:

> I am removing your moderation. There is usually some small delay while

> process the request. But I should think you can post without

> your posts being moderated sometime today if not immediately.

Thanks, Tom, for that and for the perspectives given in your message.

Yours for better letters,

Kate Gladstone

Handwriting Repair and the World Handwriting Contest

handwritingrepair@...

http://learn.to/handwrite, http://www.global2000.net/handwritingrepair

325 South Manning Boulevard

Albany, New York 12208-1731 USA

telephone 518/482-6763

AND REMEMBER ...

you can order books through my site!

(Amazon.com link -

I get a 5% - 15% commission on each book sold)

[Guest guest]

Best that I reply too, just to confirm that I am indeed incapable of hating

anyone - least of all someone I don't even know. And I don't mind Tom

answering for me, since I've been out all day and was busy most of yesterday

too.

I intvervened because it is my job as co-administrator to make sure no

member insults or harasses another, be it intentionally or inadvertently.

(Unfortunately, I missed signing as co-administrator in my posts about the

issue in question.)

I did suspect that you were not meaning your comments to Raven and to

be as disrespectful as they appeared, so I'm glad to find now that they were

indeed not.

It is not uncommon for such misunderstandings due to disparate communication

styles to occur among Aspies - especially when new on a list - so don't

worry about it. I have nothing against you; just trying to help keep this a

safe and friendly forum during the limited time I have online.

Inger

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Inger, for explaining how matters seemed to you and for

showing your concern. I will take your word for it that you indeed

cannot hate anyone.

Yours for better letters,

Kate Gladstone

Handwriting Repair and the World Handwriting Contest

handwritingrepair@...

http://learn.to/handwrite, http://www.global2000.net/handwritingrepair

325 South Manning Boulevard

Albany, New York 12208-1731 USA

telephone 518/482-6763

AND REMEMBER ...

you can order books through my site!

(Amazon.com link -

I get a 5% - 15% commission on each book sold)