Tantrums, Discipline and Coping

[Guest guest]

How do you all do it? Zach is almost 5 (in Nov.) and his pediatrician

suspects he has Asperger's but we still need to get a formal diagnosis so I

can't classify him this way through the school system yet. We found a local

hospital that is affilitated with Boston Children's Hospital so we are

working that right now. What a bunch of red tape and long waits.

My problem is that I can't take him anywhere without him having a tantrum

and just not listening to me. I get stares from others and I feel like a

terrible parent but I know that I am not because my 10 year old is perfectly

behaved. My 10 year old has today off from school and needed a new military

ID card so it was the best day to take him. I told Zach, my 4 year old,

that we were taking him brother. I have him ample warnings that we were

leaving and what his behavior should be when we were there and he still had

a fit about putting on his shoes for 15 minutes. I finally picked him and

his shoes up and put him in the car. When we got there he wouldn't stay

with me or go with his brother. He can be very loud and rude. I had to

call my husband and ask him to come help me. I hate feeling helpless. I

left my 10 year old in the office and took my other son outside. I had him

sit in timeout but it doesn't seem to help. When my husband got there he

went inside with my other son and I put Zach in the car to wait until they

were done. I cried the entire time because I am completely worn out from

doing this.

I do have him registered for an integrated Pre-K that he will start in

tomorrow but by the time I drop him off and have to get him it will get me 2

hours. Barely enough time to breath.

How do you deal with the tantrums? How do you discipline a child with

Asperger's effectively? and, How do you cope when you need to get something

done?

Thanks for listening. I am so new to this and don't know what to do most of

the time.

Chris