RE: Re: Family therapy - Ugh Re LT: What did the doc say at th...

[Guest guest]

My son does crazy things in therapy also, he would get on the sofa, turn

around and put his butt in the air! I was so embarrassed at the time but yet

now it is making me laugh thinking about it. He could not sit straight up,

play with the pillows, put his feet up on the arm, just do all kinds of

crazy things. Luckily our doctor didn't seem to think much of it. I think

they are kind of use to it. He would also go down in the floor and just lay,

he is a huge drama kid. What really helped us the most was to let him bring

his gameboy and he would play that while talking and listening. I have said

this before, but my son said its like a ugly person going into a room with a

stranger and talking about how ugly they are. Quite a example, huh?

Ah, the hardships of OCD and parenting, never a dull moment!

ADele

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of rnmomo2

Sent: Tuesday, October 24, 2006 11:56 AM

Subject: Re: Family therapy - Ugh Re LT: What did the doc

say at th...

Sometimes the kids get anxious talking about the things that make

them anxious and they react to this by being angry. My son holds his

ears sometimes. I tell him that I know it's hard to talk about this

and about him, but we have to in order to get the help we need. We

also reassure the confidentiality of it. It helps a little, but not

completely.

Bonnie

>

>

> In a message dated 10/24/2006 10:53:17 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

> missmeowza@... writes:

>

> I know she is mad at me for bringing her to the doctor, therapist

> too............................................................ She

hates

> talking

> about it, she hates us being there talking about it and she even

> dreads it more that her sister will be joining the family

sessions.

>

>

>

> Kim

>

> Been there! My daughter also hates going to the appts - even the

med

> checks. At least she doesn't cry any more on the way there. Even

when we're alone

> - just the 2 of us (how much safer could it POSSIBLY get than

that???)...

> she gets very upset when I bring it up. If I do need to say

something to her

> that's OCD related, I always have to start out with, " I know you

don't like

> talking about this... but I really do need to know this / have a

question /

> want you to think about... " (whatever the issue at hand is).

Even then I'm not

> allowed to dwell on the subject & surely better not have more than

one or

> two points/questions to go over, because then I'll just be cut

off - instant

> attitude & mood change, defiantly folded arms, snippy/snotty

words.. " OK! OK!

> CAN WE PLEASE STOP THIS NOW? "

>

> I'm sure your daughter feels like she is the cause of all the

stress you &

> your family are under right now. She's sees you being sad,

miserable,

> stressed over something that only has to do with *her*. Maybe her

mean comments

> about you hating her or that you think it's her fault is in some

way her testing

> the waters to see if one day you'll snap & say, " YES! You're

right - it's

> YOUR fault and I DO hate you... " In some bizarre way, maybe this

is her trying

> to see if it's really true?? Looking for constant reassurance

that you

> really DON'T hate her or blame her for what's going on.

>

> How to deal with it...... who knows. Did the doctor say *anything*

to

> specifically address your daughter when she attacked you like that

during the

> session? Did she say anything to your dd at all? Ask why she

felt this way?

> What she feels you did or said to make her think you didn't care

or hated her?

>

> There were many times that I just sat & cried with my daughter

after a

> melt-down... maybe I yelled or walked out on her out of pure

frustration..... I

> would hold her and tell her (after apologizing for losing it) that

I had to do

> a better job remembering how hard it is for her... and she also

has to

> remember how hard it is for me to continually understand something

I had never

> experienced. That it's hard for both of us and we had to help

each other. I

> explained to her how hard it is for a Mom to all of a sudden not

know WHAT to do

> to help their child! Moms always know what to do to fix

things.... why

> can't I fix this for you??? I tried to explain to her how much

that frustrated

> me & made me hurt inside. One day I remember telling her as she

was crying &

> I was crying, " If Mommy could take this from you and go through it

so you

> didn't have to, I would " She looked at me & put her hand on my

face and said,

> " No Mommy - No - you don't want to have this and I don't want you

to have it. "

>

> These poor kids are so scared & confused about what's going on

with them and

> how it's affecting everyone around them. They are not mature

enough to get

> a grip on how to handle it - how can they when we, as adults, can

barely do

> it ourselves?????

> LT

>

>

>