Motivating your children to speak

[Guest guest]

I posted this message to the Latetalkers@groups and it has been

requested that I post it here as well. It was in response to a mother on the

list who was frustrated with how her child's speech therapy was going. Hope

you find it helpful.

Shauna

Without knowing your child, I cannot say what will work for sure, but

it seems like they are not thinking about WHY children talk. Most of

us talk out of motivation. Our motivation is what guides through our

days. We are motivated to go to work because we like who we work

with, we like our jobs, we want money, or other things. We choose

our friends because they are people we are motivated to be around.

They like the same things as us,etc. We speak to others based on our

motivation. I ask for a coke because I am motivated to have a coke.

If I didn't have that motivation, I would never say, " coke. " Do you

see where I'm going with this?

Try to capture your child's motivation and use that to get him to

speak. The average child emits 20,000 words per day

(Sundberg/Partington, 1998). The SLP is trying to get your child to

talk on command. What is the motivation in that? What does he get

out of saying the words she is asking him? Children's first words

are due to motivation. A child sees his juice and says, " juice "

usually because they want it...well until they get a bit older and

begin labeling everything. In the beginning they request, not

label.

It sounds like the SLP is getting him to label, when he has not yet

grasped requesting...which is developmentally first.

Here is what I would suggest, based on the facts you have given me so

far. I'm not sure if your son is " talking " yet, in words...so I'm

going to give examples using sign language (which is what I try first

with children because you are more likely to get speech from signs

[and I do have some research to back that up if any are

interested]).

You want to get your child to REQUEST the items that they want. You

also want to provide thousands of times per day for them to request.

The ONLY way to tell if your child wants something is if they reach

for it, push your hand to it, or actually say, " I want______. " When

that behavior occurs, ask them, " What do you want? " Then IMMEDIATELY

model the sign for the item and then IMMEDIATELY physically prompt

them to do the sign, while you say the object's name again. Then you

hand them whatver it is they want. The whole process takes about 4-6

seconds to carry out, so it goes pretty fast. You want to fade your

prompts as quickly as possible.

I'll use the example of movie, since most kids like movies. Plus

using a movie, you can create hundreds of opportunities for the child

to request. Just during a 10-minute period, you can have your child

requesting a lot, plus watching a movie is fun!

You turn on a video, because you know that your child may be

motivated to ask for it. Every now and then (every 30 seconds or

so), hit pause on the video. If your child wants it back on, they

will probably look at you immediately or reach to hit play.

Movie on

Caregiver hits pause

Child looks at caregiver

Caregiver: " What do you want? " (Signs movie, while saying, " MOVIE " )

Caregiver prompts child to sign " movie " and caregiver says

" Movie "

Caregiver turns back on movie IMMEDIATELY

Later, after prompts are faded a bit, it should look like this.

MOvie is on

Caregiver hits pause

Child looks at caregiver

Caregiver: " What do you want? " (signs movie, while saying, " MOVIE " )

Child: Signs movie independently

Caregiver: turns movie back on IMMEDIATELY

Then even later it should evolve to this:

Movie is on

Caregiver hits pause

Child looks at caregiver

Caregiver: " What do you want? "

Child: Signs movie and says, " Moomie " ---or some other approximation

Caregiver: turns on movie

You shape the behavior until your child is either saying the word or

you are shaping a sign (if no speech has come yet...however you may

be surprised to see a completely non verbal child become verbal).

The whole process helps your child to understand, " I ask, I get. "

Speech/communication become reinforcing. They begin to see that

using communication gets them the things they want. You may also be

happy to possibly see a decrease in unwanted behaviors, tantrums,

etc.

Some things to remember. If you do use the video and your child were

to run out of the room when you pause the movie....your child's

motivation to get the movie back on is not strong enough at that

moment to get him to request it. Motivation has to be STRONG!

Here are some other good examples of signs/requests to start with,

but remember these are just suggestions...your children may have

other items that are stronger motivators..USE THEM! Also if at ANY

time your child runs off, the motivation is not there. Do not try to

get them back and MAKE them ask for it...if they are not needy enough

to want the item, they surely aren't going to ask for it.

Other requests

1. Open (this one is great! You have to open a lot of things a day,

doors to cars, doors to refrigerator, keep movies locked in a closet

and they have to ask, " Open the closet, " keep toys in hard to open

containers, open juice, you open a lot of things a day).

2. Movie (this one is an easy sign to do and it is an easy motivator

to " control " all you have to do is hit the pause button and you can

give your kid " doses " of tv).

3. candy (another easy sign and lots of kids like candy..however

motivation for candy may diminish quickly due to satiation, plus it's

not very healthy).

4. cup (children drink a lot)

5. Drink

Some requests NOT NOT NOT to start with:

1. MORE- this will not expand your child's communication. Your child

will more than likely get stuck using " more " for everything. Then

you do not have a child that is functionally commuicating...how will

you ever know what they want more of? If you really want them to

communicate, have them ask for the VERY item they want. If they want

juice, have them request 'juice.' IF they want cheese, have them

request " cheese. " Stay away from GENERAL signs.

2. Bathroom- Unless your child is fully potty trained and pulls you

to the bathroom to indicate he needs to go, don't use it. If your

child does not indicate by pointing to the bathroom or pulling you

there, the motivation to request, " bathroom " is probably not there.

3. PLEASE, THANK YOU, etc.- We all want our kids to be polite, but if the

kid can't ask for juice or food yet, then it's inappropriate

to expect them to be polite. There is more than likely not a

motivation to be polite, it is a difficult concept to understand and

many adults have not yet grasped that concept (HAHA!) Don't expect

your child, who is not functionally talking to be polite just yet.

Hope this helps! Let me know if you have any questions!

Shauna