public schools

[Guest guest]

and Leigh,

Sure wish you guys were sitting in my living room where we could all talk face

to face!

Leigh.....most of the posts answering your questions jive with my

experience.....the only thing I did call about was the question if you choose

another mode of education, must they still provide the therapy. In our state,

and I do not know if others differ, if you choose to homeschool THEY ARE NOT

LEGALLY OBLIGATED to provide the specialized therapy, the reasoning being that

if you think your " method " of educating your child is better and you choose not

to take advantage of their program then that is your choice, you can't just take

the therapy part. And the other comment I wanted to make was A PUBLIC

EDUCATION IS NOT A FREEBIE.........Millions of Americans pay taxes and lots of

them in complete trust that there is an equal education being offered to all,

rich or poor and that each child is actually being educated. I know what you

mean though......I constantly fight that inner voice that is telling me society

thinks us parents ask for too much and that special ed. is just " too expensive " .

And .......I HEAR you! I too am so sick of dealing with the public school!!

I wish I was really rich so I could fork out the thousands needed each year to

pay for the therapy my son needs. The problem with the school system is there

are no checks and balances. In a private practice if you don't get the

customers (clients) you go out of business. And the customers won't keep coming

if their kids are not getting helped. In the school system there is no

motivation to actually look ahead and research and learn new methods and

increase time in therapy, etc. because this kid is a " special ed. kid " so as

long as we do our duty and plug him into our program then we are doing our job,

the school is getting paid and so are we. Of course there are always special

people in a school, like the speech therapist that Khalid had, right? But how

many therapists were before him? How come the special ed. director wasn't

looking for ways for him to succeed way before the therapist pushed for the

right treatment? What I am getting right now is: well, that is the nature of

kids with disabilities....they seem to not progress as well as they get older

because more is expected of them......the problem is always my son.....never do

they question their own methods or time commitment.....this is not right!!!!!!!!

No one is looking over to see if this is the appropriate education and if it is,

go forward and if not try something else. We now know the amazing heights that

children with Down Syndrome can reach.......research has been done on so many,

but when you have a rare disorder or one that maybe is not so rare but not so

easily DEFINED or maybe not researched as much yet or not as well known THEN the

school seems to flounder in evaluating itself and its own programs.

The other thing I am dealing with is more grief....I guess I am having a little

pity party.......I do not want to have to learn and perform the new role of

ADVOCATE and keep all my emotions in check! I want to be myself! I want to

just be a regular parent! I don't want to have to study all these special laws

and information, etc. etc. etc. I really secretly hoped during the last five

years of therapy that what I was doing would at least equip him to be an average

kid by the time he hit school. And I am starting to see the glimmer of

indications that this will probably never be so and it is so hard to accept!

Whew! I am glad you all are here to listen so I have someone to vent to as

well! Thanks! Carol (mom to two wonderful boys)

[Guest guest]

I hear your pain about the public schools.

I'm in a couple of political groups, and there is always debates

about public vs private school vs homeschool.

I just get irritated because all of us in this group do not have a

choice. Most of us can't afford private school plus all of the

extra therapies and help, and we are not trained to homeschool our

children the way that they need to be educated.

My son goes to private school, but there is no way I would ever send

my daughters there. They are totally unflexible. It's a great

school for normal kids, but not for any kids with special needs.

Take care!

Suzi

[Guest guest]

You mentioned the monkey bars, and the school saying most

kindegartners could not do monkey bars. Well, my daughters are

finishing preschool (5 1/2), and they both can do the monkey bars.

I think a lot of the kids in the preschool can do the monkey bars.

I don't know if you can find this, but my daughter's preschool has

very short monkey bars. One of them is just a little taller than

the short preschoolers, and the other one is a little taller than

that. If they fall, it is not very far. Kids are not intimidated

by the size of these monkey bars.

My daughters would not do the tall monkey bars at other playgrounds

because they didn't want to fall. They short monkey bars really

built up their confidence. After learning how to do the short

monkey bars, they both moved on to all kinds of monkey bars.

Good luck. I'm sorry it's not going well for you and your son.

I'm dreading starting kindegarten in the fall. My daughter is so

happy right now, and I don't want that to change.

Suzi

> Actually Gretchen it was a PLEASURE to finally here someone say

how happy they were with the public school and the services it

provides! I used to work in a school and my parents, aunts, uncles,

grandmother were all public school teachers. This is one reason why

I feel so betrayed that my own public school is failing my son. I

would really like to hear you be this positive when he graduates

from high school.....every story I have heard from kids with special

needs has definitely been on the negative side, primarily with loss

of self esteem. I do have a question for you: how do you know he

is reading at grade level? how do you know the services are great?

have you ever had an outside evaluation or is this all just what the

school is telling you?

>

> My primary problem with the school is not that they aren't

offering any services but that they are either refusing more

services or aren't providing what they have said they will or are

providing the wrong thing. This past Tuesday during the meeting

for extended summer services the therapists all claimed he had met

all his goals and just needed a bit of maintenance....so they

offered a TOTAL of ten hours of therapy over a 12 week period.

Furthermore, when I noted concerns about balance and strength they

poopooed me and made false statements: " no-one in the kindergarten

class and most of first grade cannot do the monkey bars " and yet I

have seen with my own eyes at LEAST two kindergarten kids do them

beautifully the whole way across (in my time I have also seen quite

a few four yr. olds do them): they said he was at age level in all

his gross motor skills and yet exactly one month before he was

evaluated at a university child development clinic and found to

have " significantly lower than average running speed " : the team

said he could hop on EACH foot ten times each.....the independent

evaluators said he could not hop AT ALL.

>

> And on it goes, Gretchen. I want desperately to believe that my

child is completely up to speed and average and it would be so much

easier for me just to go with the flow, sit in the meetings and

believe all they say and nod and gratefully accept the " monitoring "

and " consultations " they are offering, with a little therapy thrown

in. The thing is I know the statistics: On national public radio

this past week they said 25% of kids in public school in NH drop

out.....I know from reading LD online that the percentage of LD kids

that drop out is much higher than that. Our kids with apraxia or in

my case, global dyspraxia, are at risk for learning disabilities

and/or learning problems. Knowing this and hearing an independent

evaluator tell me my kid is 17 months behind in motor skills and

then have the school (who lets face it, has to fork over the bucks)

tell me he is at age level, makes me pretty angry at the school.

They are getting a paycheck, small though it may be, and can be gone

in five years and never hear or think of my son again. I however,

will be there with him at age 11 and at age 15 and at age 18 and at

age 25, etc. Right now I am trying to prevent educational

failure. he is just finishing kindergarten, so of course, he

hasn't " failed " yet.....but he isn't learning the same way as the

majority of kids. I see it and they don't because he

hasn't " failed " yet. I want him to love school as much next year as

he loves it this year....but he won't unless they do something

differnet for him than they are doing for the average kid. Maybe

your son has completely finished with his early special needs and

really does need very little differnt treatment or no difference

from the average kid and that is super...that is what I am aiming

for to. I just wish the school didn't put me in the position of

having to CONVINCE them of my son's differences....it is bad enough

that he has them to begin with!!!! I have many more negative

thoughts on the public schools but I will spare you them this

morning Carol