7:1-5KJV WASRe: To Tom, with Love

[Guest guest]

" These are wonderful intentions; however, something saddens me

everytime I think of it: the departure of Toni. I do not wish to open

a discussion of that, only to ask you to reflect on it. "

I have reflected upon her departure a great deal.

I agree that her departure was sad, and I will tell you WHY it was sad.

One thing I noticed about her was that she seemed to be willing enough

to hear what we had to say, but then there was this " I associate with

Aspies so I understand Aspies " attitude, which was crap. She wasn't

actually really willing to apply much of what we told her here or in

the FF toward raising her sons.

When you tried to talk sensibly to her it was either more than she

could hear, or she took it personally. If you got irritated with her,

then it was " I'm a recovering alcoholic and am doing the best that I

can with my children. "

I am sick of parents using excuses for not doing the work to raise

their children, especially parents of Aspies since Aspies have two

strikes against them roughly since birth: 1) They are socially inept,

and 2) They have ways of thinking which cause people to shun them.

It's not my fault or her sons' fault that she is a recovering

alcoholic. She's the drunk...that's HER problem. The fact that she

uses it as an excuse to not take hard advice or to avoid doing the

work with her sons shows she has a lot to learn and that she is still

using her erstwhile alcoholism as a crutch to avoid parental

responsibility.

Secret Society is an Aspie forum and she was not an Aspie by her own

admission. I let her in here because she suggested this would be a way

for her to learn more about her kids. What she learned was how they

thought but she chose not to learn how to work with them in the way

they needed to be worked with.

On the Family Forum or in other FAM forums it was clear that she was

still not receptive to actually " doing the work. "

I don't believe in coddling people, especially parents who claim to be

doing everything they can to do to raise their kids but who in reality

are not.

She was nice, and I liked her personality, but her son coming in here

and bashing Kate1 and calling her with derision a " lesbian " and

a " feminist " among other things does not in anyway endear Toni to me

as a parent, because her son is surely NOT a well-developed Aspie who

knows the meaning of restraint.

As Toni is not here to comment about things anymore, that is all I am

going to say about it except that she is welcome back in the Family

Forum if she cares to learn anything more.

Tom

Administrator