Story: Enabling The Special Needs Child

[Guest guest]

Enabling The Special Needs Child

by Candida Bohnne Eittreim

http://www.childhoodresources.com/article1118.html

" I’ve always demanded a lot from him, and refused to treat

him as a disorder in human form. And it worked. "

" When Cameron was born, we were told immediately that he

would have serious problems all of his life. Due to

prematurity and other factors, he was in Neonatal Intensive

Care for a month before coming home. In the meantime, a

vast machinery sprang to life, dedicated to helping him.

Easter Seals, North Bay Regional, pediatric neurologists

and more, consulted with us almost daily. We were given charts

and other developmental milestone cues to assess his progress.

It was extremely overwhelming for all of us.

I remember watching him sleep one night and asking myself

what I wanted for this small and very helpless little boy.

The answer came almost immediately. Simply put, I did Not

want him to be defined by his problems. As the list of

labels grew around this child: developmentally delayed,

autistic, Pervasive Developmental Disorder etc, I became

angrier and angrier. What a huge heavy jacket for a 9 month

old infant!

I was told at one point he would never walk, talk, potty

train or be “normal” I was determined that Cameron would be

the best he could be. In spite of his “problems” I’ve

always demanded a lot from him, and refused to treat him as

a disorder in human form. And it worked. This 11 year old

boy is loving, bright, articulate, and is very happy just

being

Cameron. Any issues related to autistic behaviors are

discussed openly with him and clear expectations are set

for his actions.

To others meeting Cam for the first time, they tell me they

are aware within a short time, that he has some problems,

but they are very surprised to see how well-adjusted and

intelligent he is. Other than being undersized for his age

and inappropriate reactions in certain settings, this child

functions at the outer edges of the definition Special

Needs. Our home is not “geared” in any way to say “watch

out” Special Needs Child on board.

This article came about as a result of watching a program

on autism and a neighbors child. In both cases, I saw a

high functioning autistic literally dominate his home. The

parents in both cases were no longer seeing their child as

a human being, but as a motley assemblage of labels. There

is no doubt in my mind that these families fell victim to

negative expectations. Children will be exactly what your

expectations tell them to be. If you expect your child to

be whatever his label says, he will be just that.

Both boys were intensely aware of their surroundings, walk

with “normal” gaits and showed ability to reason. Yet one

parent has to carry her 11 year old to the couch every

morning. The child is allowed to get angry, destroy

furniture, defecate at will and run away. He has never ever

been disciplined in any true sense of the word, because to

them, he is a walking disorder. The other child is treated

like spun glass. Yet when I spoke to him about staying out

of my mailbox, he understood enough to go tell his mother.

We do a great disservice to these children by allowing

labels to define their being. Every child, no matter how

disabled, has the potential to rise above their limits. If

we allow them to. If you have recently been told your own

child has Special Needs, don’t allow the helping

professionals to box this child into a slot. Help your

child, fight for him if necessary, so that he can discover

his own unique ways to fit into this world. "