question...apraxia.....express feelings????

[Guest guest]

I felt so bad reading the posts about kids knowing that they cannot talk like

others....I have a question for the group since I am sure someone out there

must have gone through the same thing....my husband was in an auto accident

on 3/13 and to make a long story short has 3rd degree burns on a third of his

body, has never regained consciousness, is on life support-trach, with the

feeding tube...the whole nine yards....I have 4 boys...8,6, and the almost 4

yr old twins with apraxia. The twins were especially close to him as I

would leave in the morning and drop the older 2 off at school and I went to

work and it was just him and the twins until school at 11:30. I am wondering

how to approach them without making them upset....not to talk about death

with them, but just the missing him part.....They all know that he is in the

hosp due to an accident and he breathed in smoke and it hurt his lungs, but

do not know the physical side. My one twin spoke for about 15 minutes

straight the other night about Daddy and the van and honestly I did not

understand most of it.....he was getting more and more frustated and finally

he burst into tears just saying daddy, daddy....I initiated the converstation

by saying that we all miss Daddy and he is in the hosp with drs. and nurses

giving him med. etc.. They are used to him being in the hosp because he has

a kidney disease(on dialysis) and is in the hosp frequently, but we can go

and visit him and they talk to him on the phone.....but of course this is

different. They older two go to counseling at school and she has given me

good ideas like keeping pictures around and letting them talk into a tape

recorder and letting Daddy hear them, etc...but I can't read their

minds...I've said that I am not going anywhere as my older ones have gotten

me alone and asked questions about heaven and who would take care of them if

I die, etc.....Besides the fact that the twins are only three (and I feel

intelligent...LOL) should I expect them to try and communicate their

feelings...They are whiny and when in trouble and need that time out they

call for " daddy " .The longer I am writing the less this makes sense.....I hope

someone understands this....thank you for reading this..and no the twins are

not in counseling....but it would have to be a counselor that deals with

non-speaking kids...art therapy???? The teachers say they are doing great in

school....Kathy