Why is life so unfair? - Just needing to vent

[Guest guest]

Hi all,

It has been along time since I last posted but I'm still here

listening & learning & for that thank you.

I'm writing today as I know how good you all are at listening without

judging - again thank you

Please don't get me wrong I do truly love my both my ds's & my dh,

however today I'm feeling that life can't get much worse! Things were

just starting to go along fine, I am working with a 5 yrs boy with ASD

@ pre-school, as an integration aide, & loving it however 6 hrs a week

doesn't pay the ever mounting bills...I sat down once & work out that

our ds who is on the spectrum cost us about $40,000 year more than our

NT son. So I took another job working at nights at a large store

packing selves, the store was just opening in our town, so I started

b4 they opened working 9hrs a week, then worked crazy hours the 2

weeks after opening (40 hrs a wk - both jobs) then things settled down

a fortnight ago & I was given 20hrs a week with them, things were

good..I was helping to pay the bills, being there for ours sons b4 &

after school, doing my very best & feeling good!

On Monday I went to work @ the store, to be told that everyone but 8

(so approx 60) would now be on a call in base..great no regular money

& the added stress of my ds not knowing what nights I wouldn't be

there to tuck him into bed! Like a big company cares about that, I

tried to explain my situation to them, & now they have come back to

me with an afternoon job tidying up the store..but who will pick the

boys up from school, & it's back to 9 hrs barely enough to pay the

petrol, parking & care of the boys while I'm at work...

Were do families with children with disabilities find the income to

raise there families, and give them the treatment they require, and

give the other members some sought of normal life!

I don't know the last time we had a vacation, our NT son keeps asking

when can we visit my brother who lives in Canada or go to the theme

parks in Queensland, these things seem normal to him as that is what

his friends do! Why can't I give him Normal?!! He deals with enough!

Why do these things seem to happen to those who have enough on there

plates as it is? I know that we are very lucky to have our health, but

the stress of mounting debt & increasing cost of living is really

starting to eat at me...I am a worker & I don't mind getting out there

to do my bit, but of late (the last 18mths) I feel like every time I

open a door 2 more get slammed in my face!

My dh tells me to take their latest offer & we'll work the care of the

boys out, however I don't like the job that they are offering which s

going to make it harder to leave my boys in care, knowing that they

won't be as happy away from me & I'm not happy either! It all reads

STRESS to me!

Thanks for listening, I feel a little better now that it is off my

chest a little.

Until next time

Narelle

Geelong Australia