Help needed asap

[Guest guest]

Hi, I'm so sorry that my second letter is asking for help and info

again but I am facing a serious issue and don't know what to do.

As you may know, I have a 10 year old son who has PDD/Autism. The

day before winter break I took him out of school due to abusive

treatment by the school staff. I have a folder 3 inches thick of

documentation of the mistreatment and " mistakes " made by the school

such as admitting to not doing an IEP that meets my child's needs,

not informing his teacher's of his disability or medical issues

(regarding bathroom needs), refusing to provide an aide for him,

punishing him for things that he cannot control due to his

disability, allowing teachers to publicly humiliate him and the thing

that made me actually go to school and take him out was the fact that

the teacher had him sitting in a " desk " with three walls and no place

to put his things. The desk was in the front of the class facing

the wall in front of all of the children and away from the board. He

was not permitted to turn around so all he saw were the three walls.

I asked the teacher to remove him from the chair (which my son and

the kids call the " retard chair " ) and she refused time and time

again.

They forced my son to eat lunch by himself several times (not in the

lunchroom) and so I went to the school to have lunch with him and to

see what was going on (after months of issues). I saw this " chair "

and where it was and how abusive this treatment was for ANY child,

much less one that was autistic. I asked the teacher once again to

remove him and she refused (to my face). That was the straw that

broke the camel's back so to speak. He has not been back since. I

requested his school work at a meeting after school reconvened after

winter break and just got it yesterday at another meeting!

I have an advocate assisting us but he (and the special education

person through the school district) that they will have to file

something regarding the Becca bill against us if my son is not back

in school by Tuesday.

We had a meeting yesterday in which they showed us a " behavior

intervention plan " which was RIDICULOUS and agreed to " revise " it. I

am not sure when I will see that revision but in the meantime, they

all expect him to be in school on Monday morning.

I'm expected to " trust " the school officials that my son will be

provided for and taken care of, but I have a problem trusting people

who have abused my son and lied to me and others regarding that

treatment. (which I have in writing).

My son has been having behavior problems (off the chart) since this

teacher took over the class about two weeks into the school year and

has been having panic attacks anytime going back to that school is

mentioned. His therapist has the same concerns as I but also doesn't

quite know what our rights are regarding this Becca bill.

Our advocate is one who is pushing us to put him back in school on

Monday so I don't really feel like he is " advocating " for us anymore,

but going along with the school district's wishes. I may be wrong

but that is what it feels like.

Nobody seems to believe or be concerned about my sons mental or

emotional feelings and fears. Nobody has EVER apologized for

anything that happened and when I mention something that has happened

they say " let's move on and look towards the future " . They have only

acknowledged a few things and admitted it was wrong and apparently

they are getting rid of the " desk " that was used to embarrass him.

I believe (and have been told) that we have at least two winnable

lawsuits against the school and/or district but wanted to avoid

anything like that because I don't want anything else to upset my son

or my family. But now that we are being threatened by them, I am

more than willing to stand in front of a judge and show them my

notebook full of documentation about what my son has been through at

the hands of the school officials.

How can I force my son to go back to a place that hurt him? He said

today in counseling that he was mad at me, his exact words were " for

forcing me back to that school so they could abuse me more " . I will

not send him back to THAT school until he (and I) feel safe that he

will be treated well.

This could all have been avoided if they had provided him with the

aide I've been requesting since before school started. I need to

know what our rights are and what I can do. His therapist isn't

comfortable with them wanting him back so fast either because of the

problems he is having. BTW, many of the horrible behaviors that he

was exhibiting while in school, disappeared the MOMENT I took him out

of school. There have been others but those particular ones are

mostly history. That tells me enough to know that I should have

taken him out sooner and the guilt I feel for allowing someone to

hurt him (even though I didn't know), is unrelentless.

It should also be noted that I want him back in a self contained

class room after seeing how badly mainstreaming has been for him

during the past two years and they won't even discuss this. When his

psychiatrist found out that he was mainstreamed she was surprised and

said " you are kidding " . The school denied that he had austism even

though his records from Holly Ridge through now all say it. They

said " PDD " was not autism. His doctor printed out the definition of

PDD from a medical book to give them lol

Tyler's academics have been regressing terribly. I showed the

teacher and principal an example of his work last year and an example

this year. The difference was incredible. Things he used to know he

now doesn't. He has a new paper phobia and can't write now. He

won't TOUCH paper unless it's smooth. He can't stand the sound of

paper or if you move a box or papers around, he freaks out.

Anyway, I'm sorry this is so long, I wish I could tell you everything

that happened so you would have a better idea of what we are dealing

with but again, my folder is three inches thick.

Does anyone know what we can do? What do I do if I don't feel good

about sending him back next week? What will happen to us if I don't

put him back? I read the Becca bill and it was really written for

kids who run away, do drugs, have abusive or neglectful parents,

etc...Not for disabled children who were being mistreated by the

school! And if my advocate and therapist don't know what to do, who

does? OH, it's also important to know that there is ONE teacher at

the school that my son attached himself too. She was his teacher for

the first two weeks but then was promoted to the special services

coordinator. We are using her to get him in the doors of the school

and set up a meeting for Monday morning in her office. My son, his

therapist, myself and Ms. as well as his " new " teacher (who has

been his math teacher in the past), will be there, although I've

requested that any teacher who will be alone with him be there as

well...and it is for Tyler to tell them his concerns and ask them

questions, etc. I'm not sure how well he will do, that's a difficult

thing to ask...that he communicate his feelings...but it's all we can

think of to try to help him feel better about going back to that

school.

Thanks so much for your support and for listening.

Kathleen