Re: Aspie Love - Keeping Secrets

[Guest guest]

My sympathies . Has anyone near to him ever passed away before

and does he understand the concept? When my Grandfather had passed

away we had explained to my son that Gramps needed to go be with God

and his family in heaven. He accepted it and did not ask me anything

else about it. At my Grandfather's wake, my husband, son & I walked

into the funeral parlor and before I could stop him, my son (who just

turned 3 at the time) ran into one of the waking rooms. It wasn't my

Grandfather in the room, so we hear him yell " YOUR NOT MY GRAMPA! " He

then runs into our waking room, took one look at the casket, looked

back at me and said " Mommy, you lied! You said Gramps was in heaven

but look (pointing to the body) he's right there asleep! " I guess I

should have more specific about the concept of souls and the body

being only a shell.

Kim

>

> I just found out today my son's sitter has died. I kind of knew it

> was coming, but still sad. I know I am going to have to tell my son

> tomorrow and I am unsure on how he will take it :-(

>

>

[Guest guest]

I remember as a young child trying to will myself to death, trying to

strangle myself with various things and trying to suffocate myself,

that was before I understood how to attempt suicide seriously and I

have only attempted seriously once.

>

> This will sound unbelievable, but I can remember lying in my crib and

> wanting to kill myself by trying to jam my head between the rails and

> twist until my circulation was cut off. I decided I would let myself

> get older to see if life would get any better, however. Obviously, I

> am still here (though two suicide attempts almost jeopardized my

> current existence).

>

> There have been good times, but never good enough times to make me

> think I was crazy for wanting to kill myself.

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>

[Guest guest]

I remember as a young child trying to will myself to death, trying to

strangle myself with various things and trying to suffocate myself,

that was before I understood how to attempt suicide seriously and I

have only attempted seriously once.

>

> This will sound unbelievable, but I can remember lying in my crib and

> wanting to kill myself by trying to jam my head between the rails and

> twist until my circulation was cut off. I decided I would let myself

> get older to see if life would get any better, however. Obviously, I

> am still here (though two suicide attempts almost jeopardized my

> current existence).

>

> There have been good times, but never good enough times to make me

> think I was crazy for wanting to kill myself.

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>

[Guest guest]

environmental1st2003 wrote:

>

>

> This will sound unbelievable, but I can remember lying in my crib and

> wanting to kill myself by trying to jam my head between the rails and

> twist until my circulation was cut off. I decided I would let myself

> get older to see if life would get any better, however. Obviously, I

> am still here

I find this completely unbelievable. We come into this world innocent

and without knowledge. Knowledge is acquired. Was there any deaths that

you had knowledge of upon which you could form an opinion? How could you

possibly know at that age that strangulation would cause death? How

could you possibly know at that age that jamming your head and twisting

it would cause strangulation? How could you even know you could jam your

head between the bars? How could you possibly at that age have the

reasoning power to put any of this together?

I suspect that what we have here is one of those recollections that

people manage later in life. Many people have recollections of things

that never happened. I suspect that this might be one of those times.

Ace

[Guest guest]

environmental1st2003 wrote:

>

>

> This will sound unbelievable, but I can remember lying in my crib and

> wanting to kill myself by trying to jam my head between the rails and

> twist until my circulation was cut off. I decided I would let myself

> get older to see if life would get any better, however. Obviously, I

> am still here

I find this completely unbelievable. We come into this world innocent

and without knowledge. Knowledge is acquired. Was there any deaths that

you had knowledge of upon which you could form an opinion? How could you

possibly know at that age that strangulation would cause death? How

could you possibly know at that age that jamming your head and twisting

it would cause strangulation? How could you even know you could jam your

head between the bars? How could you possibly at that age have the

reasoning power to put any of this together?

I suspect that what we have here is one of those recollections that

people manage later in life. Many people have recollections of things

that never happened. I suspect that this might be one of those times.

Ace

[Guest guest]

A piece of an artical pertaining to infantile amnesia

I myself have very early memories due to tramatic events so I

wouldn't discount Tom's. Do you have children Ace?

Kim

Gone But Not Forgotten?

The Mystery Behind Infant Memories

Emotional Memories May Be More Available for Recall

In recent years there has been increased awareness about the role of

emotion in the modulation of memory, accompanied by the discovery

that certain brain structures like the amygdala are specialized for

emotional learning. Moreover, some researchers have found that high

levels of stress may actually benefit recall. The links between

emotion, stress, and memory have led scientists to wonder whether

there might be less infantile amnesia associated with traumatic

childhood events.

Ulric Neisser and collegues at Cornell University examined this

possibility in a study investigating college students' recall of

four specific, life-altering events that occurred when the students

were between 1 and 5 years old. The students answered questions

pertaining to the birth of younger siblings, death of a family

member, moving to a new home, and hospitalization, and their answers

were verified with their parents. Sibling birth and hospitalization

seemed especially memorable, since college students could recall

these events even if they were only 2 years old when the experiences

occurred. Moving and a family member's death seemed to emerge from

the haze of amnesia around the more traditionally accepted age of 3.

There were no verifiable reports for recollection of events

occurring before age 2.

http://www.brainconnection.com/topics/?main=fa/infantile-amnesia

> >

> >

> > This will sound unbelievable, but I can remember lying in my

crib and

> > wanting to kill myself by trying to jam my head between the

rails and

> > twist until my circulation was cut off. I decided I would let

myself

> > get older to see if life would get any better, however.

Obviously, I

> > am still here

>

> I find this completely unbelievable. We come into this world

innocent

> and without knowledge. Knowledge is acquired. Was there any deaths

that

> you had knowledge of upon which you could form an opinion? How

could you

> possibly know at that age that strangulation would cause death?

How

> could you possibly know at that age that jamming your head and

twisting

> it would cause strangulation? How could you even know you could

jam your

> head between the bars? How could you possibly at that age have the

> reasoning power to put any of this together?

>

> I suspect that what we have here is one of those recollections

that

> people manage later in life. Many people have recollections of

things

> that never happened. I suspect that this might be one of those

times.

>

> Ace

>

[Guest guest]

Good luck. I hope you have been preparing him for this eventuality.

Sometimes doing that makes the news easier.

Tom

Administrator

Re: Aspie Love - Keeping Secrets

I just found out today my son's sitter has died. I kind of knew it

was coming, but still sad. I know I am going to have to tell my son

tomorrow and I am unsure on how he will take it :-(

[Guest guest]

Good luck. I hope you have been preparing him for this eventuality.

Sometimes doing that makes the news easier.

Tom

Administrator

Re: Aspie Love - Keeping Secrets

I just found out today my son's sitter has died. I kind of knew it

was coming, but still sad. I know I am going to have to tell my son

tomorrow and I am unsure on how he will take it :-(

[Guest guest]

Dear Ace,

My memories go back to a very young age and I have never lost them.

Some physical evidence of my childhood still remains in the form of

twenty page stories I wrote on my mom's IBM selectric during the pre-

kindergarten years. These stories were written on the eighth grade

level, and though they demonstrated a certain ignorance of the world

in general, the diction and vocabulary were multi-syllabic and

precise.

And just for the record, I entered school a year early due to my

assessed superior intelligence, my assessed ability to conceptualize

abstractly, and my assessed demonstrated superior memory.

My ability to figure out new and exciting ways of doing things got

me in trouble from the get go all the way into my adult years. Yours

truly had to be censored in class in high school when I explained to

the class how to make nitro-glycerin at home with a few household

chemicals, and I thought up the concept of the first sodium bomb

long before superconductivity was invented.

Despite the publication of my first short story at 7 years of age,

and my numerous awards in science in high school, not to mention

getting more storeis published in college and a bunch of

miscelleneous milestones passed since then, which suggest that I had

a powerful intellectual ability since infantcy, I will grant you

that it COULD be that my memories of trying to to kill myself as a

baby are faulty, but I hardly think so considering some of my first

short twenty page stories at the age of four were murder mysteries.

Tom

Administrator

>

This will sound unbelievable, but I can remember lying in my crib

and wanting to kill myself by trying to jam my head between the

rails and twist until my circulation was cut off. I decided I would

let myself get older to see if life would get any better, however.

Obviously, I am still here

I find this completely unbelievable. We come into this world innocent

and without knowledge. Knowledge is acquired. Was there any deaths

that you had knowledge of upon which you could form an opinion? How

could you possibly know at that age that strangulation would cause

death? How could you possibly know at that age that jamming your

head and twisting it would cause strangulation? How could you even

know you could jam your head between the bars? How could you

possibly at that age have the reasoning power to put any of this

together?

I suspect that what we have here is one of those recollections that

people manage later in life. Many people have recollections of things

that never happened. I suspect that this might be one of those times.

Ace

[Guest guest]

" Sane people commit suicide, it doesn't mean they don't know what

they are doing or why they have chosen to end their life. "

You have to know suicidal people to undberstand their logic. A

friend hung himself in his basement when he was twelve because he

didn't want to live in the world the way it was. I didn't know that

he was planning suicide, but I know what his reasons were. They were

quite sensitible. All the problems we have today that we did not

have then, he, at the age of twelve, predicted. He didn;t want to

encounter those things and so ended it.

Another friend was tired of being abused by her drug addicted

husband, and told the police that unless they arrested him and

charged him with battery, she would kill herslef. The police laughed

at her and told her to buzz off, so she went home, borrowed an M-80

from her brother, stuck an M-80 in her mouth and lit the fuse. That

taught the cops a lesson.

Her brother, despondant over the fact that his siter used his

firework to kill herself jumped off a bridge into oncoming traffic

and was either killed when he hit the ground or was killed when a

truck ran over him. A cop had pulled up to him just as he was

getting ready to jump. That cop has since quit the force.

So you might say the brother got revenge in the cops for what they

did to his sister, and he successfully got rid of his feelings that

he was an accomplice in his siter's death.

" I think when one is despondent, depression can make the body as

well as the mind completely numb to better choices or hope for a

better life. "

True. But it is not the choices we make that drive people to

suicide. It is external events that they cannot control driving them

to it. Those three people I mentioned above ASKED for help from

others, and all three of them were told (in some cases literally) to

fuck off. So when you are alone in the world with no one to help you

(unless it is to offer you useless platitudes) and if trying to help

yourself seems like a struggle which is beyond your capability or

will just make things worse, then suicide seems like the best option.

" Who can make life better? "

Not once has anyone I have ever appealed to for help during a

suicidal crises (including shrinks) been able to help me with my

problems. They are VERY good at saying " tThis too shall pass "

though. And I think that phrase is about the biggest lie I have ever

heard, because those events have never passed. They have compounded

themselves like unpaid credit cards and multiplied like cockroaches.

" Will life always be a " series of unfortunate events " ? "

For some people, yes.

" Is it not the way we perceive the world or dwell on the aweful that

makes us miserable? "

Again, that depends. Let's see....I was sexually abused. A cousin

constantly threatened to cut me up with knives and feed me to his

dog and would chase me around his house with a knife and cut me with

it when the family was outside. My father beat me. My mom was and

is an alcoholic. I was bullied and beaten up in elementary school,

junior high, and high school. Three friends killed themselves. I

lost two friends to cancer. One friend fell off a cliff and died. My

mentor fell off a cliff and died also. I had false verbal

harrassment charges filed against me at one of my old employers.

Every grielfriend I have ever had but the most recent one and the

one I have now cheated on me including a fiancee in college who

married my roommate and lived happily ever after and my ex-wife who

committed financial fraud against me after our divorce.

Forgive me but I don't see how my perception of the world was

warped. My perception of the world is based on what it is. A

generally shitty place to live in, and if this is the way the world

wants to be, and if the world prides itself on being this way, then

I want no part of it.

Tom

Administrator

[Guest guest]

Despite Ace's criticism, I will share with you another memory. Have

you ever peeled the skin off a blister and seen and felt the raw red

skin underneath?

I remember feeling that feeling all over my body when I was born.

Tom

Administrator

A piece of an artical pertaining to infantile amnesia I myself have

very early memories due to tramatic events so I wouldn't discount

Tom's. Do you have children Ace?

Kim

[Guest guest]

>

> Another friend was tired of being abused by her drug addicted > husband, and told the police that unless they arrested him and > charged him with battery, she would kill herslef. The police laughed > at her and told her to buzz off, so she went home, borrowed an M-80 > from her brother, stuck an M-80 in her mouth and lit the fuse. That > taught the cops a lesson.

I couldn't bear the defeat involved in this. Why didn't she walk out of her home + declare herself unable to function as a citizen because the state wasn't functioning towards her? + test how that was received if she got arrested?

I know in my school crisis I would have tried running away first, even if carrying the means of suicide with me, rather than do it when there was still anything else left to try.

[Guest guest]

> Forgive me but I don't see how my perception of the world was

> warped. My perception of the world is based on what it is. A

> generally shitty place to live in, and if this is the way the world

> wants to be, and if the world prides itself on being this way, then

> I want no part of it.

Agreed. But it would be logically consistent to apply this to the issue

of predatory animals, where we disagree, not only to the human world.

[Guest guest]

maurice wrote: " I know in my school crisis I would have tried running

away first, even if carrying the means of suicide with me, rather

than do it when there was still anything else left to try. "

For some brilliant children, they have tried everything they can think

of to be heard and to change the circumstances of their life and

still, life continues to get worse through no fault of their own and

at that point, suicide becomes a viable option in their thoughts.

Running away doesn't solve anything.

Sometimes what drives a child to commit suicide is NOT the home

environment but everything else in their lives and sometimes those

children who are capable of forming intent -- and carrying it out --

are only 10 years old.

Raven

[Guest guest]

Kim wrote:

>

>

> A piece of an artical pertaining to infantile amnesia

> I myself have very early memories due to tramatic events so I

> wouldn't discount Tom's. Do you have children Ace?

Yes, I have two children and 5 grand children. Your point?

Ace

[Guest guest]

" Another friend was tired of being abused by her drug addicted

husband, and told the police that unless they arrested him and

charged him with battery, she would kill herslef. The police laughed

at her and told her to buzz off, so she went home, borrowed an M-80

from her brother, stuck an M-80 in her mouth and lit the fuse. That

taught the cops a lesson. "

You asked:

Why didn't she walk out of her home + declare herself unable to

function as a citizen because the state wasn't functioning towards

her? + test how that was received if she got arrested?

She was living with her mom at the time, but her busband would

do " drive bys " and break in, and crank call her, and throw rocks

through their windows, and when they called the cops, nothing was

done. She killed herself in her mom's basement leaving behind three

kids, who are not being taken care of by her mom and dad.

And to answer your question more consisely, the state did not

function on her behalf. A lawyer told her she had to file a police

report, and the police told her to buzz off. What would you do in

this situation?

[Guest guest]

>

> " Despite Ace's criticism, I will share with you another memory. Have

> you ever peeled the skin off a blister and seen and felt the raw red

> skin underneath?

>

> I remember feeling that feeling all over my body when I was born. "

What?! Whoa, that blows my mind.

>

[Guest guest]

Diabetes can be dealt with. As much as cancer is prevalent today, there is also much to be done about it.VISIGOTH@... wrote: In a message dated 8/23/2006 8:00:07 PM Eastern Standard Time, no_reply writes: It's funny, but in my younger years I woud have taken this as a matter of course. People born, they

live, and they die. But I am realizing now as the hair begins to fall out of my scalp and other hairs turn gray that I can die too. I don't worry so much about death as I worry about some horrible wasting death. Getting something like diabetes, cancer or organ failure scares me far more than death. Now, I don't want to die any more than anyone else, but I just hope its quick, preferably in my sleep or in an honorable fight (meaning defending family, friends or country, not some squabble in a bar). If you love something, set it free! So it is with books. See what I mean atwww.bookcrossing.com/friend/nheckoblogcritics.orghttp://notesfromnancy.blogspot.com Heckofreelance proofreadernancygailus@...

Get your email and more, right on the new .com

[Guest guest]

To know if you have children.

> Yes, I have two children and 5 grand children. Your point?

>

> Ace

>

[Guest guest]

To know if you have children.

> Yes, I have two children and 5 grand children. Your point?

>

> Ace

>

[Guest guest]

Tom, you are here and must have some inclination that some good

comes from your presence on this planet. The world doesn't want to

be anything, it just is and has been since the beginning. Life's not

fair and I guess it's up to every individual to make the choice to

stay or quit. When I read what you've been through and how it

effects you, I'm disturbed. I try to think of what I'd say if one

of my kids had your same frame of mind and it scares me.

Kim

>

> Forgive me but I don't see how my perception of the world was

> warped. My perception of the world is based on what it is. A

> generally shitty place to live in, and if this is the way the

world

> wants to be, and if the world prides itself on being this way,

then

> I want no part of it.

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>

[Guest guest]

Tom, you are here and must have some inclination that some good

comes from your presence on this planet. The world doesn't want to

be anything, it just is and has been since the beginning. Life's not

fair and I guess it's up to every individual to make the choice to

stay or quit. When I read what you've been through and how it

effects you, I'm disturbed. I try to think of what I'd say if one

of my kids had your same frame of mind and it scares me.

Kim

>

> Forgive me but I don't see how my perception of the world was

> warped. My perception of the world is based on what it is. A

> generally shitty place to live in, and if this is the way the

world

> wants to be, and if the world prides itself on being this way,

then

> I want no part of it.

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>

[Guest guest]

>

> She was living with her mom at the time, but her busband would

> do " drive bys " and break in, and crank call her, and throw rocks

> through their windows, and when they called the cops, nothing was

> done. She killed herself in her mom's basement leaving behind

three

> kids, who are not being taken care of by her mom and dad.

>

> And to answer your question more consisely, the state did not

> function on her behalf. A lawyer told her she had to file a police

> report, and the police told her to buzz off. What would you do in

> this situation?

>

Declare it on every official form she signed for any reason, such as

tax forms. Refuse to give a contact address with them, on grounds of

not being in safety to stay at home.

Give school etc no address for the kids, for the same reason.

Go into hiding somewhere, but when the money ran out, pay no hotel

bills or rent and declare self-defence as the reason and cite the

police failiure as evidence when taken to court.

Worth trying for the sake of trying.

(I'm late with this after I couldn't log in on Sunday.)