Meltdowns (RANT - from Jen long)

[Guest guest]

Hope has been on Abilify for quite some time, and while it helps with some of the other core symptoms - she is also on Lamictal (mood stabilizer), DDAVP for night time wetting and Prevacid for GERD - she is completely out of control. She breaks things constantly, hurts people, runs away - you name it.

BUT!!!!! As soon as her dad gets home (usually around 5 weeks per year) she is good as gold. THAT is absolutely insane - and it makes me crazy. I have tried everything - even spanking her - NOTHING works. She will not stay on time out - tonight in fact she bit me until blood ran - slapped me across the face, broke another light switch, slammed the door (she already broke the storm door and every other light switch in the house) - threw the metal ball from her headboard into the wall and left a huge dent, punched the window, broke a dresser - etc etc., all this because I am bringing home a puppy tomorrow and she was asked to clean her room. I am working from home right now and she stated that she wanted me to come and do it NOW - and there we went....

What a nightmare. My life is a living nightmare. I am sending my oldest AS daughter (she is almost 17) to live with her dad (2nd time) I am starting to have heart and circulation problems, my blood pressure which was usually so low is through the roof. My circulation is so bad that my feet and legs turn bright blue if I sit for more than 10 minutes. Also, I have Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Pinched Nerves all through my neck with severe whiplash injuries and 2 slipped discs - my chiropractor said that if I cannot find a way to get some serenity and calm in my home I am going to end up either having a heart attack or stroke (seconded by my medical doctor) and there is a very real chance that I will end up in a wheel chair because of the stressors on my neck and back.

My husband is a mercahnt marine (he retired from the navy last year), and it was the only thing that he could do. He looked for work for almost a year. Now, I have moved to Arkansas - Hope has no services (this state has no services for kids with HFA), cost of living is through the roof - and we took a 75k pay cut a year after he got out of the military. I still only know one person in this state and I have known him since I was 9, he is a paraplegic. Add to that that I cannot stand his wife, and we have over 7k in construction in our home (not because we wanted it!) due to a serious leak that went through the subfloor and caused black mold plus a leak in the roof - the work is still not done - because the person who I hired did a shitty ass job and I have already given him over 4k just to reinstall my cabinets and put flooring in, plus I pulled all the carpet out of the living room and hall so it was a clear shot - living

room, kitchen and hallway to install some wood laminate flooring - it is a huge mess.

My mother had a stroke shortly after my son's wedding in May - he is leaving for boot camp November 23 and I am at my wits end!

Mom to four special kiddos

Max adhd/sid/LD - 20 - now in the USN and happily married to an amazing girl

Molly 16 AS/PTSD/BP, SaraCait - 11 ADHD Severe, bp, Asthma and Hope Autism, possible Bipolar, NVLD, ADD, SID, GERD, Heart Valve defects, Kidney and UTI reflux, Asthma

“The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.” Elie Wiesel

From: DIANE <odiekarone@...>Subject: Re: Meltdowns.....just need to get it outAutism and Aspergers Treatment Date: Thursday, September 25, 2008, 10:16 AM

Hi,I am new to the group. My son is a high functioning autisticchild. He has been on Abilify for a couple of years. He was seeing andhearing some things that weren't there, and the Abilify helped thatproblem immediately. But in the last couple of months, he becameaggressive to the point of where I had to call out the police becausehe found a steel pipe in the back yard and started hitting the wallsand threatened to hit my daughter and me with it. Among other things,the Abilify caused a rise in his blood pressure, and he had to be puton medicine for that. He also gained a lot of weight. I recently tookhim off the Abilify, and he is noticibly calmer, no longer sweatsprofusely, and has begun to lose some weight. I'm NOT saying that Abilify or ANY other medication is to be avoided,but PLEASE read up on the medication thoroughly BEFORE you decide toput your child on anything. There are MANY side

effects that aren'tworth the risks, but you will ultimately have to decide for yourself. NO medication can make EVERYTHING better, and some CAN make thingsWORSE. It is literally a case of TRIAL and ERROR. I have learned thisthe hard way, and from now on I plan to look up the medication on theinternet BEFORE I give my child or even myself any medication. Manyblessings to all, :-) DIANE> > From: patricia Orozco <paohlaw@... >> Subject: Re: Meltdowns... ..just need to get it out> Autism and Aspergers Treatment> Date: Wednesday, September 10, 2008, 8:38 AM> > > > > > > > Ask for an inpatient evaluation. I told my son's psychiatrist thatwe were at our wits end. His meds had been adjust for the 4th or 5thtime and I said enough! At the time he was admitted he was on atleast 14 different meds, (ADHD, bipolar, OCD, anxiety,

depression,sleep disorder). Anyway - he was on an inpatient basis for 10 days. He now takes > much fewer medications and more supplements and his behavior isstable - even good. It was one of the most difficult decisions tomake but I am very thankful that we did. > > > Meltdowns... ..just need to get it out> > > > Hi there.> > I have not posted here but read everyones entries hoping that I may> come across one that I could give advice on or how we handled a> difficult situation. But here I am just looking for someone to hear> me, let me vent and know that it is ok that I feel like I feel.> > We have 2 special needs kids.

Our daughter (whom I have guardianship> over as her biological mom lost rights)She just turned 11 and was> diagnosed with PDD-NOS and ADHD. She also has a sleep disorder and> stomach issues as well. We have an alarm on her door so that she> doesn't escape or get out to get into things that can hurt her. We> have legally adopted her brother who just turned 5 and can't talk or> feed himself yet. He was born a crack baby but is one of the most> lovable kids you would meet. We had already had guardianship of> Krystal when the other kids were taken into custody by the state and> she was pregnant with Brenden. We fostered Brenden and then adopted> when the time came for us to be able to, Krystal was supposed to be on> the adoption petition but with things involving 2 counties we were> told that was not possible. We would love to adopt her but after> fighting for 2 years

for social security and medical benefits,> adopting her now we would lose it all. She doesn't know that we are> not her real parents, and once she turns 18, we will legally adopt her> because she will be eligible for more services by then. (sorry I> thought a little background would help)> > Krystal is our difficult child. She has meltdowns that are out of> control. She sees a psychiatrist and a psychologist. She is on> medications for her ADHD and for sleeping. (I know that many of you> are against that, but this seems to help with Krystal) She is in a> regular school but in a LD classroom. We try to give her things and> help her to be and act as normal as possible. She lacks concept. She> has the mentality of a 4-5 year old. So, she likes to do things that> would be in the 4-5 year old age range. This child has no fear. She> would walk away with a

complete stranger and think it is ok. But my> biggest issue with her is the meltdowns. I would say that her> meltdowns are about 90% at bedtime. She is very destructive. If she> gets mad at us she will break things intentionally. She has pulled> out all her drawers and stood on them upside down to make the bottoms> collapse. If we put her in time out, she will stand there and poop> her pants. She will intentionally pick her nose to make it bleed, she> does anything to get attention. This child can poop, pee and vomit on> demand. As she gets older, the meltdowns seem to get worse. I guess> it is her hormones starting to kick in. We love this child with> everything we have. Last week I told her psychiatrist, she may not> need sleep, but I do. Lately she pushes me to my max, screams and> screams at the top of her lungs for no reason. Again this happens> mostly at

bedtime. Doesn't matter if we have had the best day in the> world, she breaks down at night. In the end, I am exhausted from> yelling at her, and it makes me feel like a horrible person that I> cannot control my own daughter. That I stand there and scream at her> because I get all worked up because every suggestion that her> therapists give doesn't work and I feel at wits ends. My husband gets> the same way. We have had to put ourselves in time out because we> have gotten so close to the boiling point. Makes me feel like a bad> person. I don't have anyone in my life that would understand what we> are going through. I have family members that say that we should just> put her in an institution and get visitation. I don't believe that. > I think Krystal has come so far since we have gotten her. There are> days when she is sweet as pie......then there are days....well you

all> know what I am saying. Somedays my husband and I sit waiting for the> cops to show up at the door from all the screaming. Not to say that> they would do much, we have documentation and what not showing she is> not your typical child. Not to mention, she is not abused and she is> well taken care of.> > SIGHHHHH....> > Sorry this was longer than I thought I would write, I just needed to> get it out....and maybe someone out there can relate to the meltdowns> and give a little advice or a cyber hug....at this point, I am up for> anything.> > Thanks to all of you who read this,> Janine>