In Loving Memory of Floyd Tilton

[Guest guest]

Re-post from Autism.About.Com

Dateline: 03/18/02

By Adelle Vancil Tilton (Mrs. Floyd Tilton)

On March 8, 2002, the Autism community received the news that Floyd Tilton,

the Autism/PDD Guide at About, had suddenly and unexpectedly died of a

massive heart attack. The news swept through the community rapidly and

several Autism newsletters carried the story with obituaries and tributes.

But reading an obituary isn't quite the same as hearing from the one who

loved him most. I have, in my time at About as I covered Celebrity News,

written many obituaries. This one is different. It is about my husband, my

soulmate, the man who dedicated himself to my son's needs... it is about the

man I loved and respected like no other person I have ever met. And it is

time you hear from me about who Floyd really was.

Floyd was born in Honolulu, Hawaii on August 2, 1946 and soon thereafter

arrived in Joplin, Missouri where he grew up. He was an only child and was

preceded in death by his parents. He was very active in sports and had

considered pro-baseball as a career. He did have a tryout and a good chance

with the St. Louis Cardinals except for that little curve ball problem. You

see, Floyd would always flinch when a curve ball was pitched to him. He

worked with Whitey Ford for a long time to overcome that obstacle but it

seemed baseball was never to be in his future beyond the knee injury that

plagued him until his death.

Floyd loved auto racing of any kind. If it had wheels and turned left, he

was a devoted fan. His true love in auto racing was NASCAR and he knew the

sport inside out. He learned to drive as a teenager on a race track, as his

father owned a stock car and since Floyd grew up around auto racing, his dad

felt if he could handle that kind of driving, the normal street driving

would be a great deal safer for his son. I doubt anyone anticipated the day

Floyd did what any teenage boy would do with a stock car and he took out 55

feet of fencing on the track. His father made him rebuild the entire length

of the ripped out fencing and that sort of carelessness behind the wheel

never occurred again. Floyd never had a traffic ticket and was the most

cautious driver; always aware of the responsibility he had behind the wheel.

Floyd served our country in the United States Air Force during the Vietnam

era, working in a hospital in the states. He had a tremendous compassion for

veterans and a respect for the uniform that wasn't a blind devotion but was

a loyalty that could never have been questioned. He considered the Air Force

as a career, and was with SAC while he was active duty, but for several

reasons chose to move to the Air National Guard. Before his retirement from

ANG, he was with a refueling wing in Topeka, Kansas. He had many medals and

campaign ribbons having served also in Desert Storm, at that time stationed

in Saudi Arabia.

Floyd was also a teacher for 17 years at the junior, senior, and college

level. He taught English, drama, theater and debate and his debate team was

often a contender on the state level, having won the State Championship in

Kansas at least once. He continued to love to debate for the challenge and

mental stimulation. There were many times we would watch the news together

and he would make a statement of something he believed in. I would take the

opposite side, regardless of what I thought about the subject, and engage

him in a debate. He loved to win but I think he almost loved losing more. I

remember once him saying to me that he wished I had been on his debate team.

He enjoyed the actual mechanics of a debate and it was delightful to watch

his mind work. He was quick but he loved it when someone could box him into

a corner with no intellectual escape.

Floyd's interest in Autism began when he became the stepfather of an

autistic boy. He had worked on the fringes of special education as a

teacher, but when his stepson entered his life, Autism became his passion.

He devoted his life to not only finding a treatment but also working to

prepare parents and society for the time when children with Autism became

adults with Autism. He was very concerned about the increase in incidence

and felt that the time had come to try to stop what he called " The Epidemic

of Autism " . However, his main passion and cause in the Autism community was

unity. He believed that nothing was more important for the community of

parents and caregivers than unity due to the factions within the Autism

Spectrum community that could not work with each other. Floyd had developed

the unique ability to work with all groups and believed that if all people

involved in Autism could set their differences aside, progress could be made

that would help children and adults alike. Our son and his Autism became an

enormous part of his life and he embraced it with love and determination to

make our son the best Autistic person he could be. He tolerated the endless

lines of items around our house, the outbursts of temper, the difficult

efforts with communication and his patience seemed to have no end. Through

all of that, he never turned his back on his 11-year-old stepdaughter

realizing her world could not become the world of our son, and he was a hero

in her eyes.

Floyd tried to be there for each and every parent who wrote him about Autism

and PDD issues and problems. He never thought of the parents and caregivers

as a group with faceless names, but as a parent and a child with needs that

mattered to him a great deal. He would research individual problems and

provide any information he could. He saw in each child with Autism, his own

stepson, and for the time he worked with that parent or caregiver, that

child was the most important person in the world to him. He was not a man to

talk about his mission; he just did it, without acclaim and without

expecting anything in return. His reward was in knowing that maybe he had

given some guidance that might be useful for a parent or a child. He only

hoped to make someone's path a little easier to walk.

Floyd was a very serious man with an intensity that came from deep within

his personality. He was thoughtful, insightful and intelligent. But at the

same time, he had a tremendous sense of humor he would show to those close

to him. His laugh came from deep within and was heard all over the house

when something struck him as funny. His sense of humor was dry for the most

part but sometimes goofy. He was wonderful with spoonerisms and used them

constantly to get a smile from those he loved. He was a man comfortable with

emotions, allowing sorrow and tears to exist comfortably within him. He was

tender and gentle. He was patient and kind and he lived to take care of

others.

His wife Adelle Vancil Tilton, and several children survive Floyd. He leaves

a legacy of love that will never be forgotten and a wealth of memories that

are but a thought away.

I would also like to take this time to let the readers of About's Autism/PDD

site know that I will be going forward with Floyd's work. About has

graciously allowed me to assume Floyd's site on Autism and I will the

Autism/PDD Guide. My goal is to continue the work Floyd started and continue

his mission. His passion has been my own as well and we worked closely

together. His dream for these children, our son included, lives on and

although his presence will be missed beyond belief, his work will continue.

Please feel free to email me at autism.guide@... any time. I am here

for you and will do all I can to make your journey through Autism a little

easier. Thank you all for the wonderful and kind things you have said to me

about my husband. Your words mean more than any of you could ever know.

For more information please visit the Autism.About.Com site at

http://autism.about.com/library/weekly/aa031802a.htm

Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions. I can be reached

at 818-951-8579

** Marc Share

President & Executive Director

Research Institute and Parents Coalition

'Working To Give Our Children A Future'