Guest guest Posted April 3, 2004 Report Share Posted April 3, 2004 I had a major hold up this week with my meds. Suddenly my co-pay for Humira went from $10 to $350. Yikes! After some freaking out and many phone calls later, I think I solved the problem. Now we're back on track. But I'm out of town next week visiting my parents and I have to have the meds sent to their house. They don't know about my RA. They are in their early 80s and my brother and I decided it best not to tell them about the RA. Of course, I'm in a flare, limping like crazy. They know something is wrong, but how many times can I have stubbed my toe before going to visit them? So I guess somehow I'll have to tell them because I have to take my shot when I'm up there. There's no way of hiding anymore. They are pretty fragile and I'm concerned how they are going to take it. We've talked here before about letting people know about your disease. I've always done it on a "need to know" basis. My parents are the kind of people who are not very well versed in modern medicine. They are going to here "rheumatoid arthritis" and imagine me in a wheelchair in 6 months. Maybe I can tell them they are fertility drugs? And trying to get pregnant? (ha! at my age - they'll probably have me committed). Any suggestions? I leave on Monday. Drugs arrive Tuesday. help!! gloria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 4, 2004 Report Share Posted April 4, 2004 My parents are the kind of people who are not very well versed in modern > medicine. They are going to here " rheumatoid arthritis " and imagine me in a > wheelchair in 6 months.> > Any suggestions? I leave on Monday. Drugs arrive Tuesday. help!! > > gloria How about " I have inflammatory arthritis. " Sierra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 4, 2004 Report Share Posted April 4, 2004 You might just try "I have arthritis". I have found that most people don't know that much about arthritis and think of it all as osteoarthritis. They usually have some far-fetched ideas about how easy it is to cure arthritis because of the TV ads but can probably accept "I've tried a lot of those things and my doctor says the shots are the best thing for me." Good luck and God bless. ----- Original Message ----- From: gloriarex@... Rheumatoid Arthritis Sent: Saturday, April 03, 2004 10:41 AM Subject: Re: Frustration and Worry I had a major hold up this week with my meds. Suddenly my co-pay for Humira went from $10 to $350. Yikes! After some freaking out and many phone calls later, I think I solved the problem. Now we're back on track. But I'm out of town next week visiting my parents and I have to have the meds sent to their house. They don't know about my RA. They are in their early 80s and my brother and I decided it best not to tell them about the RA. Of course, I'm in a flare, limping like crazy. They know something is wrong, but how many times can I have stubbed my toe before going to visit them? So I guess somehow I'll have to tell them because I have to take my shot when I'm up there. There's no way of hiding anymore. They are pretty fragile and I'm concerned how they are going to take it. We've talked here before about letting people know about your disease. I've always done it on a "need to know" basis. My parents are the kind of people who are not very well versed in modern medicine. They are going to here "rheumatoid arthritis" and imagine me in a wheelchair in 6 months. Maybe I can tell them they are fertility drugs? And trying to get pregnant? (ha! at my age - they'll probably have me committed). Any suggestions? I leave on Monday. Drugs arrive Tuesday. help!! gloria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 4, 2004 Report Share Posted April 4, 2004 Gloria, How about telling them the truth!! Mom and Dad I have arthritis and I take meds to control it. I think you are taking your parents for granted. They may accept that or completely understand what you are talking about. I would keep the explainations simple unless they ask for more. Shessh I have had 7 yo kids that understand and can grasp my RA with no problems. I think you may be pleasently surprised when you tell your parents. You may also find out some clues to family history too about arthritis and auto immune disease. I know when I was diagnosised my first call was to my parents to ask about family history. I think you can have an illness and live you life or you can allow the illness to take over and control your life!!! I tell those that ask and those that look funny like they are wondering and want to ask, I tel them too. So I think maybe you are making a mountain out of a small moehill with your parents. Do your parents share there illnesses with you? If so you may find they are very well versed. I am curious how WILL they know you are taking injections. Do you plan to do then at the dinner table?? No trying to rude or insensitive but I know several people that are diabetics. Many I did not know where on insulin or the insilin pump until the topic came up in conversation. I take my Enbrel and methotrexate injections before bed usually inthe bathroom. Since I have a travel kit when I am away from home the sharps go into my travel sharp container until I get back. So the only way one would know is if they dig through there bathroom trash. In that case put all the paper back into your travel med bag and dispose of later. Next thing is the refrigerator issue. Tell them you take a special meds that must be refrigerated. As far as the meds arriving at there home..well tell them you were expecting a package and it was better to have it sent where you are than to wait for pick up once you got back home. I also don't know how you are going to parents..but if driving. I carry a portable travel frig which I can plug into regular power once I get to my designation. If you are that concerned and do not want to put meds into there frig..this might be an option for you. Of course the meds come packed well with those ice packs. You could just carry the extras from the previous shipment and keep exchanging them out and keep everything in your room. I keep my previous shipment cooler for incase of emergency as recommended by the pharamacy. I guess in the end...were there is a will there is a way if you intend to keep this completely hidden from your parents. The other way is either tell them up front or be prepared to answer and give an explaination when they discover what is going on. Gosh, I sound like I am counselling one of my daughters teen friends who is sneaking doing something bad behind there parents back. I don't think you need to be afraid or ashamed of your illness. Or have to resort to hiding it for fear that you won't be understood by the people who brought you into this world and know you better than anyone else!. good luck and I hope you have a wonderful trip and get this all sorted out. Toni In a message dated 4/4/04 7:34:23 AM Central Daylight Time, Rheumatoid Arthritis writes: Message: 4 Date: Sat, 3 Apr 2004 13:41:41 EST From: gloriarex@... Subject: Re: Frustration and Worry I had a major hold up this week with my meds. Suddenly my co-pay for Humira went from $10 to $350. Yikes! After some freaking out and many phone calls later, I think I solved the problem. Now we're back on track. But I'm out of town next week visiting my parents and I have to have the meds sent to their house. They don't know about my RA. They are in their early 80s and my brother and I decided it best not to tell them about the RA. Of course, I'm in a flare, limping like crazy. They know something is wrong, but how many times can I have stubbed my toe before going to visit them? So I guess somehow I'll have to tell them because I have to take my shot when I'm up there. There's no way of hiding anymore. They are pretty fragile and I'm concerned how they are going to take it. We've talked here before about letting people know about your disease. I've always done it on a "need to know" basis. My parents are the kind of people who are not very well versed in modern medicine. They are going to here "rheumatoid arthritis" and imagine me in a wheelchair in 6 months. Maybe I can tell them they are fertility drugs? And trying to get pregnant? (ha! at my age - they'll probably have me committed). Any suggestions? I leave on Monday. Drugs arrive Tuesday. help!! gloria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 4, 2004 Report Share Posted April 4, 2004 Gloria, What about just telling them you are having some tests run and trying some new medicine and leave it at that??? Will they ask a lot of questions or not??? Good luck to you. My heart goes out to you. Just whatever you convey, try to show that you are in control and perhaps it will not alarm them much. Sometimes the less said the better for all....I'm sure you will be able to handle it. Love and God bless you, Kay ----- Original Message ----- From: gloriarex@... Rheumatoid Arthritis Sent: Saturday, April 03, 2004 1:41 PM Subject: Re: Frustration and Worry I had a major hold up this week with my meds. Suddenly my co-pay for Humira went from $10 to $350. Yikes! After some freaking out and many phone calls later, I think I solved the problem. Now we're back on track. But I'm out of town next week visiting my parents and I have to have the meds sent to their house. They don't know about my RA. They are in their early 80s and my brother and I decided it best not to tell them about the RA. Of course, I'm in a flare, limping like crazy. They know something is wrong, but how many times can I have stubbed my toe before going to visit them? So I guess somehow I'll have to tell them because I have to take my shot when I'm up there. There's no way of hiding anymore. They are pretty fragile and I'm concerned how they are going to take it. We've talked here before about letting people know about your disease. I've always done it on a "need to know" basis. My parents are the kind of people who are not very well versed in modern medicine. They are going to here "rheumatoid arthritis" and imagine me in a wheelchair in 6 months. Maybe I can tell them they are fertility drugs? And trying to get pregnant? (ha! at my age - they'll probably have me committed). Any suggestions? I leave on Monday. Drugs arrive Tuesday. help!! gloria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 5, 2004 Report Share Posted April 5, 2004 Toni: Wow! I haven't been dressed down like that for many years! I'm certainly not ashamed of my RA - I live a very full life with it. My only concern is my parents' reaction to the news. No, of course I didn't plan an injection as an appetizer for dinner. But meds delivered to the house and kept in the refrigerator certainly need some explanation. Of course it helps to know the people and the situations involved. Anyway, thanks to everyone for the suggestions. I'll let you know how it goes. gloria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 5, 2004 Report Share Posted April 5, 2004 What about an allergy shot? Or contraceptive shot? 8'} Ray >From: gloriarex@... >Reply-Rheumatoid Arthritis >Rheumatoid Arthritis >Subject: Re: Frustration and Worry >Date: Sat, 3 Apr 2004 13:41:41 EST > >I had a major hold up this week with my meds. Suddenly my co-pay for Humira >went from $10 to $350. Yikes! After some freaking out and many phone calls >later, I think I solved the problem. Now we're back on track. But I'm out of town >next week visiting my parents and I have to have the meds sent to their house. >They don't know about my RA. They are in their early 80s and my brother and I >decided it best not to tell them about the RA. Of course, I'm in a flare, >limping like crazy. They know something is wrong, but how many times can I have >stubbed my toe before going to visit them? > >So I guess somehow I'll have to tell them because I have to take my shot when >I'm up there. There's no way of hiding anymore. They are pretty fragile and >I'm concerned how they are going to take it. We've talked here before about >letting people know about your disease. I've always done it on a "need to know" >basis. My parents are the kind of people who are not very well versed in modern >medicine. They are going to here "rheumatoid arthritis" and imagine me in a >wheelchair in 6 months. Maybe I can tell them they are fertility drugs? And >trying to get pregnant? (ha! at my age - they'll probably have me committed). > >Any suggestions? I leave on Monday. Drugs arrive Tuesday. help!! > >gloria Is your PC infected? Get a FREE online computer virus scan from McAfee® Security. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 5, 2004 Report Share Posted April 5, 2004 Gloria, Sorry didn't mean to come across that way. I guess too many years as a military spouse. LOL....sorry..I was just trying to see all the angles. And hopefully give you some positives to try and work around. Yes you do have to know the players in the game, which I do not and you know you parents far better than I would. It was not meant to be a dressing down of sorts. More so grab this by the horns and wrestle it down and move on. I have learned via my own military experiences that bad news does not improve with time and only makes the messager far more stressed out trying to hid it. I was just trying to throw out the worst to hopefully find a good solution. Sometimes but putting out the worst it inspires someone to write in with a solution. The only other thought I have on this is maybe you can stay with a sibling..your brother or other friend. Or have your meds delivered to another relatives house....you could keep them there until you depart. Make a trip over to get what you need. Sounds like the big concern is with the Enbrel. The other meds would be no big deal. I have never been in this situation. I basicly tell people deal with it and me or move on. I have to deal with my illness for the rest of my life. And some people I have stopped communicating with because they do not accept or understand. After a while you get tired of trying to explain. I know this is not an option with you parents in your case. Worked well for me with my mother..(ha!! that is another few digests!!!) but we will just leave her as pyscho alcoholic drug abuser for the time being. You can fill in the blanks. Good luck on you trip. I truly did not intend to offend you. toni In a message dated 4/5/04 7:03:21 AM Central Daylight Time, Rheumatoid Arthritis writes: Date: Mon, 5 Apr 2004 01:16:41 EDT From: gloriarex@... Subject: Re: Re: Frustration and Worry Toni: Wow! I haven't been dressed down like that for many years! I'm certainly not ashamed of my RA - I live a very full life with it. My only concern is my parents' reaction to the news. No, of course I didn't plan an injection as an appetizer for dinner. But meds delivered to the house and kept in the refrigerator certainly need some explanation. Of course it helps to know the people and the situations involved. Anyway, thanks to everyone for the suggestions. I'll let you know how it goes. gloria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 5, 2004 Report Share Posted April 5, 2004 Toni: No offense taken. I have a pretty direct personality, too, known around work for being a tough, no-nonsense sort of person. I'm sure I'm much closer to you in age than your daughter! But dealing with one's parents are different than being at work. As an adult I try hard not to turn back into a teenager when I step back into their house! But they are most interested in my 8 year old son, so maybe they won't notice anything amiss! Anyway, thanks for the suggestions. gloria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 5, 2004 Report Share Posted April 5, 2004 THE TRUTH IS ALWAYS BEST. Today RA need not be crippling! I’m 39 and have had the disease since age 14, I went to college, grad school, have worked all over the world. And I’m not one of those lucky people whose disease is inactive— I’ve had mcp replacements on both hands and foot surgery. But modern medicine is really terrific. Hope this is not too late, but tell them the truth! The disease is not fatal and can be controlled! From: gloriarex@... Reply-Rheumatoid Arthritis Date: Sat, 3 Apr 2004 13:41:41 EST Rheumatoid Arthritis Subject: Re: Frustration and Worry I had a major hold up this week with my meds. Suddenly my co-pay for Humira went from $10 to $350. Yikes! After some freaking out and many phone calls later, I think I solved the problem. Now we're back on track. But I'm out of town next week visiting my parents and I have to have the meds sent to their house. They don't know about my RA. They are in their early 80s and my brother and I decided it best not to tell them about the RA. Of course, I'm in a flare, limping like crazy. They know something is wrong, but how many times can I have stubbed my toe before going to visit them? So I guess somehow I'll have to tell them because I have to take my shot when I'm up there. There's no way of hiding anymore. They are pretty fragile and I'm concerned how they are going to take it. We've talked here before about letting people know about your disease. I've always done it on a " need to know " basis. My parents are the kind of people who are not very well versed in modern medicine. They are going to here " rheumatoid arthritis " and imagine me in a wheelchair in 6 months. Maybe I can tell them they are fertility drugs? And trying to get pregnant? (ha! at my age - they'll probably have me committed). Any suggestions? I leave on Monday. Drugs arrive Tuesday. help!! gloria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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