My Diet Poem (Long)

[Guest guest]

Here's a little something I wrote...

Oh I am so sad,

what can I do?

My thighs are too fat

and I think my butt grew

My arms look like jello

the hang

and they jiggle

If I wear a tank top

people will point and giggle

If I lost a few pounds

Life would be so great

My problems would go away

Maybe I'd get a date?

That's right,

I am married!

Oops I forgot!!

With all this fat in my brain

My memory's not so hot...

If I only lost weight,

My kids would clean up their rooms

They wouldn't even argue

They'd just grab the brooms!

Surely I'd be smarter

then I could get a degree

And a better job

More money for me!

I'd have a better car

and probably a tan

And while I'm at it

I'd get a better looking man!

I'd win the lotto, for sure

And have lots of money

And every word out of my mouth

would be funny

I could crash my car

And would never get sued

Surely no one would be so bold

As to sue a size two!

No that would never happen

Things would always go my way

I would never be lonely

or have a bad hair day

Life would be great!

I'd have no problems at all

I'll bet I'd even grow

to be 6 feet tall

Then I could model

It would be great!

I'll bet Brad Pitt

would call for a date!

If I were thin,

I have a hunch,

That Madonna would call

and invite me for lunch

Oh how grand life would be

If I could just lose a pound

I would be voted president

And a cure for cancer would be found!

There would be no more hurricanes

Not a flood nor a quake

To think all this would happen

from drinking slimfast shakes!

Life would be great

If I were thin

The new release at blockbuster

would always be in

I'd have no more taxes

I know that it true

No one pays taxes

when they're a size two

One day I will get there

and life will be great

Until that day comes

I'll sit here and wait...