What a group!

[Guest guest]

Wow Jackie, what a loaded question! I suppose if everyone were to chime in, we

would see a whole gamut of emotions spill out. I can't think of anyone that is

in that predicament, being left alone to cope with CML, but I would think that

if it happens, it would be a catastrophe. My husband, Jimmy is very supportive

of me. He doesn't have to agree with me all of the time, I would hope he still

has the right to think for himself, but for the most part we are always

together. He quit working when I called him and said the doctor had called and

said I had CML, what did I want to do about it? I told the doctor I wanted a

second opinion and a giant confrontation with him ensued.

The only time Jimmy leaves is to go to church, grocery shopping, to American

Legion meetings or to the doctor. For the past few months, he goes in for

pulmonary rehab. He keeps his sanity by having little projects around the house

and reads. If I would let him, he would do everything, but I insist on doing

whatever I can no matter how long it takes to make a bed. It has nothing to do

with CML, it's scoliosis and my vertabrae are crumbling, so I am in constant

pain and not much range of motion.

I never thought I would live to see our 50th wedding anniversary, but I have and

this year we celebrated our 54th. Times have changed since I was diagnosed, the

drugs showed no promise at the time, but there was a light at the end of the

tunnel when I heard about ST 571 getting ready for trial. My doctor at MDACC

was waiting for the first opportunity to get me in it and when I got the call,

they said to come immediately. I had foot surgery and had one leg encased in a

soft cast and in a battery powered wheel chair. I remember rearranging all the

furniture in the doctor's offices with that big bulky thing trying to turn

around. I remember telling that to a new doctor the other day and he thought it

was funny, but I wondered if it would have been as funny had it been his

office????

I have changed in many ways, I too, have learned to accept the disease as

something chronic that I have to put up with. Life is fragile and we should

treat it kindly as well as our fellow man. I question things a lot more and ask

a lot more questions in my private life as well. Priorities change from time to

time. If we think back to that awful day, we have changed the way we previously

thought about a lot of things.

I can appreciate the way Ida challenged the doctors about Zavie's condition. I

have had to do that for Jimmy. He would so the same for me. He sits all day at

my bedside while I get transfusions. He could be doing something more

productive, but it's his decision to stay. We take care of each other. When we

left my granddaughter's surprise house warming, I heard someone say, " What a

cute couple. " If a spouse or significat other leaves, I suspect there was

something lacking in their relationship. I think we are for the most part wired

to be there for each other.

Hands & hearts,

Lottie Duthu